Journal Entries for Kellianne Fitzpatrick
One Month Update
June 30th, 2007 12:38 pm MDT
What a diffenence a month makes. I've posted a few new pictures. I found a very pretty dress on e-bay and wearing it makes me feel quite feminine. Funny thing is though, that the excitement I felt years agp, just isn't there. This could be a stage I'm going through, trying to re-capture some thrills from yesteryear. I don't know. I guess time will tell. I think that if I had a friend locally that I could dress with, I might have more interest. By the way, I have decided that my best feature is my legs. What do you think? I'm not too happy about my face and I really do think I look best in the short hair.
My Story
June 7th, 2007 3:48 pm MDT
Well, here it is, as best as I can remember. My mother and father were divorced when I was about 4 years old. The next 4 years I lived with my mother who had a succession of female housemates and I had no male “role-model.” I was about 6 when I swiped a dress, belonging to the little girl around the corner and wore it to bed one night. I did get caught but I don’t remember if there was any punishment or not. I do remember feeling tremendous embarrassment. From what I have read, I think that the seed was planted and I believe that I have been a crossdresser/transvestite ever since. After my mother remarried, when I was 8, I found a stash of her old clothing in an old suitcase in the downstairs bedroom. When my parents were gone, I would “dress” but eventually I was caught. Again I don’t remember any punishment. I guess I “went dormant” for quite a few years and have no memory of dressing until I was maybe in my 30’s. By this time I had married and had 3 children. Since I wasn’t the religious type, my wife would take off with the kids every Sunday morning. The urge hit me again and I found some stuff my wife’s aunt had given her to give to charity. I felt that I was a deserving charity and during that hour every Sunday I would “dress.” That pretty much played itself out and, not because of my crossdressing, I was divorced. Living alone I had a great opportunity to dress, but not the resources to buy much. I was barely scraping by on what little I had after the divorce so my wardrobe didn’t amount to much. I do remember once that I took myself to K-Mart where I bought myself a cute little black peignoir set. It was an embarrassing moment for me, as the sales girl made some sort of remark. Two years later I married again and all thoughts of dressing went onto the back burner. That marriage was certainly not made in heaven and ended about seven years after it started. Alone again, my thoughts turned to dressing. My financial situation now a little better, I found that I could buy most of what I wanted by way of catalogs and didn’t have to go through the embarrassment of actually going into stores. Now this has to be told and I suppose that this is as good a time as any to insert it into my story. I used my dressing as a sexual release. I would dress, do the makeup thing and stand in front of a mirror and ‘ well let’s not get too graphic, O.K? Well that chapter in my life didn’t last more than a couple of months as my employer decided that I was having a problem with booze. (Boy did I have a problem with booze.) Rather than firing me, as many would have, he got me set up in a 28 day recovery program, which eventually led me to AA. My life became so busy with work and my recovery that there just wasn’t time for anything else. Two and a half years later, I married again. That was almost 16 years ago, but the story continues. I had prostate surgery about 10 years ago and since that time have not been able to “get it up.” I’ve tried Viagra, Cialis and Levitra all to no avail. Obviously there has been no sex in my life since. A couple of years ago, while surfing the web, I stumbled onto URNA and from that moment, I was hooked. Seeing you all, some very ladylike, some very garish. That seed that had been planted almost 60 years ago, once again began to sprout. I let it grow until, just a few weeks ago set things into motion. My wife and I both work in the same business but most of the time, work on different days. That would give me the hours necessary to dress. I take care of all of the finances, so my expenditures can be hidden, I have a PO Box and I have E-Bay. It’s a perfect situation. The only thing different now, is that there are no sexual overtones to my dressing. So far I have only done it twice and I’ll be honest, I think I look pretty damn good. I wish I could do better with the make-up, but that will come in time and I really, really, really like the high heels.
