URNotAlone

walking

May 12th, 2008 12:40 pm MST

she's walking now.  she walked yesterday and will walk tomorrow.  Sometimes she forgets she's even walking.  she feels anger or distress and the world implodes on her, invading her true mind, breaking her thoughtless concentration.  Threatened, she may lash out.  Acting harshly and hurting, she ties herself down, drawn further into the feaux world.  Her true mind betrayed by her emotions, she shudders like Atlas 'neath the weight of stress and loneliness.  She cries alone inside, soflty like Penelope, her house taken, her virtue the prize in a contest of thieves.  Sometimes she breaks down, but rarely.  Sometimes she attacks with fury and strength, thinking, naiively, that instilling fear in others will keep her safe.  But she does that less today than yesterday.  And then she remembers.   Spontaneity, contentment, happiness.  Her soul walks and her spirit wraps her.  Her mind rests, walking close to its true clarity, almost knowing herself.  Almost knowing her mind.  Approaching the clear, pre-dawn light of a quiet sea.  walking closer than yesterday as the world retreats yet fills her soul and she realizes all things connected.  Hardship justified and necessary as everything moves forward together step by step.  Now she Walks, now remembering THAT she walks.  Just like she did yesterday and will tomorrow.  She smiles softly, inwardly.  Walking away but drawing close.  She walks with no destination.  Until, one day, quietly, in the grey blue eastern light of the pre-dawn sky.  The Goddess Opens Her Eyes.  And Lo, When two sets of footprints in the sand become one, then I will carry god, and the world, and all that is, was, and ever shall be.  The world sings to her as angels and demons prostrate themselves.  Until one small foot caresses Geb's strong shoulders again.   Giggling and smiling the thought passes away as she walks, fey again, wrapped in the world, clothed in Spirit and connected with everything that is and isn't.  Until, walking, she forgets everything again.  Until she remembers again.