Journal Entries for Kelly Winifred Frost
Name change?
January 7th, 2012 4:16 pm MST
So I've been thinking that I might change the name I use in girlmode. I mean, Kelly is okay, but I never really took much time to think about it. I picked it years ago (in the late '90s) just because it wasn't too far away from my birth name. But now I'm thinking I want something a little more me. So far the top contenders are Chloe, Candace, and Natalie. After that, Dawn, Allison and Robyn. If anyone has any opinions, please let me know.
New Blog Post!
April 17th, 2011 9:22 am MDT
Blog blog blog, bloggity blog. http://highheeledcombatboots.blogspot.com/
I have a blog now.
February 21st, 2011 9:56 pm MST
I started a blog. It's mostly going to be about the challenges of being transgendered in the military. Check it out: Tales of a Transgendered Soldier.
I'm getting married...Again!
November 1st, 2010 10:50 pm MDT
So, yesterday my wonderful spouse took me to a jewelry store and bought me a beautiful engagement ring and re-proposed to me. We're going to have a second wedding, and this time I'm going to be in a white gown! It's a dream come true! Then today, she took me to a bridal store and I tried on wedding gowns! I almost cried. I'm almost crying as I type this. I felt so beautiful. I can't wait until I get to walk down the aisle. I'm sure it will be amazing.
New Stuff Ahead
October 30th, 2010 6:25 am MDT
So my spouse and I have moved. We're now living a bit South of Tacoma, Washington. Hopefully, this will allow a lot more freedom and support. i'm looking forward into blending in to the huge population here (compared to what we're used to). Lots of interesting stuff coming up, I'm sure.
Life is good.
June 8th, 2010 5:48 pm MDT
Okay, so it's been quite some time since I've posted anything. Lots has changed. That girlfriend I mentioned; the one who likes me in boymode and girlmode? She's now my wife. We have a six month old son who is amazing. Also, I came out to my family a few weeks ago. My mom seems to be acting like the conversation never happened, my dad seems pretty cool with it and my brother is totally supportive. So, overall, things are good.
Good things
February 20th, 2009 9:52 pm MST
Yay. I now have a supremely awesome girlfriend who likes me in both boymode and girlmode. Life is good.
Where I'm At, Today.
December 16th, 2008 9:48 pm MST
I'm in the middle of yet another major introspection. I was dressing a bit more regularly through September and October, and then I took the opportunity to go out dressed on Halloween. That was my first time in public en femme, and I spent it with my friends. My military friends. Since that point, I've allowed myself to be a bit more feminine in public. I now wear girls jeans, walk around with my pink iPod, have lilac covers on my bed, stuff like that. I've even taken to wearing a pair of women's flats while at work. Since all this has come to pass, the urge to dress has pretty much left me. When it does come, I wear panties for a day or two, and it's gone.
So, does this mean I've found the balance? Have I become as close to feminine as I need to be to be happy? I still look like a guy for most intents and purposes, and that's just fine with me. I've even got rid of the hair I was growing and have begun shaving my head again. I'm letting my body hair grow (to a degree), even as I maintain well manicured nails. I think I may have found my little spot on the gender spectrum. It's just a lot closer to male than I ever would have expected.
I've been thinking far too much.
April 25th, 2008 4:58 am MDT
Unfortunately, this first entry will seem to be a bit of a downer. Hang with me here, though. I'm not this emo, really. Naturally, I never asked to be this way. Life would be drastically simpler if I was just a regular guy, liking regular guy stuff, and not like this. I think I'm rather over the general self-loathing that naturally comes with realization of how I am. I've accepted that I am who I am, that doesn't mean that I don't acknowledge the problems inherent in the situation. A solid part of it is the almost split personality traits that come with having to live a bit of a double life. First and foremost, I am lazy. I dislike spending excessive time on anything. Yet I still find myself spending inordinate amounts of time on hair removal, makeup, doing my nails, etc. Not to mention looking for and buying clothes. Add in the time I spend sitting in the car, building up the courage to go in the store, and my preference for not doing anything with my day seems completely countermanded. Along with that problem, there is the problem of who I am attracted to. I like penises. I mean, I really like them. Except, you know, mine. Not too fond of that one, but that's a bit off topic. And when I'm in girlmode, I'm really attracted to guys. But when I'm out and about in boymode, the majority of people I'm looking at are female. I appreciate the female form, but I like the dick. Seems like it would lend itself to a rather simple solution: date other girls like me. While I certainly wouldn't object to that, there's still the element of being with a man that is left out. I like the cuddling with a guy, the feeling of safety, and just feeling girly like that. So, I'm not certain what to do about that. The third major issue, for today at least, is whether I really want to start on hormones. All my life, I've had issues with making permanent changes to my body. Which is why I have absolutely zero tattoos or piercings. I'll mess with my hair, because that grows back, but the hormone thing is a big one. I want the softer, more feminized appearance, but I still have that problem with making permanent change. Oh, well. What's a girl to do?
