Journal Entries for Vanessa Jade Steele
Untitled Post
December 29th, 2007 11:04 pm MST
So here I am. I finally figured URNA out and now I can browse and peruse this place with ease (yeah... right) Let me give you a bit of background into myself. I'm 25, and have harbored a severe confusion and hatred of my birth gender since I was 6. Most of my natural life has been spent trying to "man up" and attempt what everyone else in the world has attempted: Fit in. Doesn't quite work that way for me. I've always existed on the fringe and have never truely felt accepted anywhere, even around other outcasts. I joined the Army at 17, for a few reasons. I was SUPPOSED to go to college.... never happened. I also did it because my father was pushing and pushing and in truth... I always thought it would be the answer to my problem. You guessed it? I thought they'd actually teach me to be a man. Six years after, well, it just made things worse. I've slowly been opening up around people I trust (Which aren't many) A year ago I met an amazing girl who taight me alot of things, mostly that no matter what anyone here may think.... you actually CAN find someone who loves you for you, even if just for a little while.(We broak up just recently, but still remain the best of friends) She saw the girl in me and coaxed her out, slowly. Here I now stand at 25, finally knowing what I want. I want to be a woman, and I don't wish to hide it anymore. I have a long hard road ahead of me, but for the first time in my life, I'm unafraid of the future to come. No... in fact... it can't come soon enough
