Journal Entries for Dianne Elizabeth
Where have you been Dianne (not Jimmy Dean)
October 29th, 2008 2:20 pm MDT
Ok, so perhaps like many of you, it's such a rush when we 1st get here. Like that 1st pair of "perfect" pumps that lift you up in so many ways. We get breathless (for some it's the altitude, I mean really 12" heels...?) For others, we just try to do to much to quickly.
Writing has always been a means for me to catch my breath. Take a moment and reflect. I know I'm more at peace now. More comfortable in my skin so to speak. Are there times I think more about further changes? Yes, but then I realize that I have changed. The physicality of being trans is still a huge part of my psyche (word?, yes but not in the way you may think) In Roman mythology, Psyche was a beautiful young woman who was loved by Cupid and ultimately made immortal by Jupiter. Cupid visited her secretly at night, forbidding her ever to look at him. When she did, he abandoned her, but they were eventually reunited.
So, what does it mean. It means, I love being Dianne physically of course. I like looking at her(me)...still confused by that, but more and more I just like feeling like her (being a feminine soul). I can and am Dianne, even when I'm not dressed.
I hope to be around more and able to expand my contact with those who have reached out to me already. I'm sorry if it seems one minute I'm there, then I'm not. I promise to put more of me into our future meetings, whether there by letter or by IM (I'm going to figure that out I promise that too!)
For now, enough already. Hugs and Kisses to all my sisters! Hope you'll accept my mea culpa and give me a hug back!
Love, Dianne
1st makeover and public time out!
May 28th, 2008 8:54 pm MDT
Hope this might get on, it's certainly been a while since my last post. But, I've tried. Hope to let everyone know about my first time out. Had a very good friend help me with my first makeover and time out at a girl's bar.
Loved every minute of it.
Hugs, Di'
Let's keep on growing!
May 11th, 2008 5:49 am MDT
Welcome to spring! Hope all my friends are well! Looking forward to continued growth in my femininity. Thanks to all the beautiful comments I've received. You are all sweeties.
Note to my friends!
May 10th, 2008 10:07 am MDT
Hope I can post something really quick here! Tried a few times to let everyone know how much their friendship and words of encouragement have meant to me. You ladies are the best thing to happen to me (next to my love of my life missus & sons). I hope to continue to improve my appearance and deportment. Bless you all for shining a light in our world and showing me how truly beautiful it can be.
Luv you all to bits!!
Di'
My latest attempts on improving my femininity
May 4th, 2008 4:54 pm MDT
When I opened this site I spoke of giving Dianne the opportunity I had always refused to give her in the past. For some it\'s strange to speak in the 3rd person (I\'m finding it a bit annoying myself). So, from now on it\'s Dianne you\'ll hear expressing herself.
I (Dianne) have been so impressed and envious of the lovely ladies I\'ve seen on URNA and those who have been gracious enough to reach out to me. Unknowingly, they\'ve also challenged me to work harder on my image. (That\'s pretty hard to do for a \"type A perfectionist\") but I\'ve always said that in whatever I did, it was to be my best effort.
In that spirit I researched and practiced in order to hopefully present an image closer to what I\'ve idealized my feminine self to be.
This past weekend was my report card to myself. I hope that some of the images will be in my next gallery. I\'ve decided that my last pictures were \"too dark\" (perhaps winter had something to do with it) so I hope that I\'ve added some colour and life into my most recent pictures.
I hope you like them!
I hope to continue to grow in my "femininity"
May 3rd, 2008 11:34 am MDT
When I opened this site I spoke of giving Dianne the opportunity I had always refused to give her in the past. For some it's strange to speak in the 3rd person (I'm finding it a bit annoying myself). So, from now on it's Dianne you'll hear expressing herself.
I (Dianne) have been so impressed and envious of the lovely ladies I've seen on URNA and those who have been gracious enough to reach out to me. Unknowingly, they've also challenged me to work harder on my image. (That's pretty hard to do for a "type A perfectionist") but I've always said that in whatever I did, it was to be my best effort.
In that spirit I researched and practiced in order to hopefully present an image closer to what I've idealized my feminine self to be.
This past weekend was my report card to myself. I hope that some of the images will be in my next gallery. I've decided that my last pictures were "too dark" (perhaps winter had something to do with it) so I hope that I've added some colour and life into my most recent pictures.
I hope you like them!
Trying to update my journal 30may08
March 20th, 2008 7:59 pm MDT
I'm sorry if this seems strange, but I've been unable to update my journal since March, not sure why. But, I wanted to tell everyone who's interested how much your comments have inspired me. Words escape me (and that's not often), I want to be able to share and encourage others in the journey we're on. Love, Dianne (this post 30may08 ~8:00pm)
So Happy to be Baaack!!!!
March 19th, 2008 9:11 pm MDT
Hi to all my wonderful friends. Here I am back from the Sunny South
, with stories to tell. For some they might seem mundane, but for me there were a number of "break thru's" that hold much promise for the future. Annie and I had a number of great talks while walking the beaches, while she remained cautious, she (Annie) was more open to talking about Dianne's needs.
Love to all, Di'
I'mmm baaack!!!!!!!!!!
March 19th, 2008 9:03 pm MDT
What a wonderful time in the sunny south! Talk about de-stressing! My wife and I had some great conversations while we walked those fantastic beaches in South Carolina! While she still doesn't know "Dianne" (by choice), we discussed some of her (Dianne's) needs and expressed a more relaxed approach towards understanding.
Then a wonder of wonders occured...(background) we had gone down with another couple (our very best friends). The husband Tom and I were University roommates). We our mates at the same university halloween party in 1978 and we're married in the same year of 1978, they in August, we in November. Over the past 30 years most of our summers have been spent in their company.
The event: his wife Dorothy was shopping for a new pair of black pumps. We went into a Nine West Store in Myrtle Beach and she ended up buying a pair that I have exactly the same style of at home (I'm wearing them in most of my pictures here). Course she doesn't know that. But while there, she tried to convince my wife to purchase a pair. Annie hasn't worn heels for a number of years because of her feet, but she was teased into a pair by Dorothy.
That's when it happened, Annie said," Ok you (meaning me) find a pair that I'll wear!" So, I went to look, asked her if I should find a 7 1/2, she said, "No, I wear an 8 now (that's my size still). I chose a pair of black satin pumps 4" heel and a lovely cross hatched pattern in the satin, softly rounded pointed toe (closed in), she tried them and liked them. Dorothy loved them too! So, Annie bought the shoes. I told her she'd look great in them and she said to me "So will you!" Later she said I would end up with them since she wouldn't be wearing them past the week in Myrtle Beach...I'd call it something of a breakthru!
In the end, she wore the shoes 2x's that week (looked great, but told me her feet just couldn't handle it). While we were at the store I also helped Dorothy buy a lovely 2nd pair, these were a black patent T style sandal with a 4" heel. Dorothy loves heels too! (But I bet I own more then she does).
Love to all,
Di'
Dianne's sorry she can't...
March 4th, 2008 11:32 pm MST
I'm sorry I can't come to the computer right now, but if you leave me a note I'll be back to you as soon as I can. I've had enough snow for now and am off to catch some sun!! Promise!
On my Birthday
March 3rd, 2008 10:04 pm MST
Thank you to everyone for your Bday wishes! I can't believe it's only been a week since I listed, so many wonderful friends have made me feel so welcome. I decided for my birthday to put together my first gallery. In encompasses my first 3 forays into this new adventure. I certainly recognize I'm not a great photographer or model. But, it's a start. Or as someone famous once said,"It's only the beginning...!
"
Prettiest of the Pretty
March 1st, 2008 12:44 pm MST
I am so excited! I've found that Ms Vicki has accepted my picture on her most recent update to her wonderful site. I'm now on page 668. What a wonderful feeling!!! Just had to share it with you all! Luv, Di'
My 1st Hello
February 24th, 2008 10:28 pm MST
It is so amazing how in one breath one can be both exhilerated & scared to death. Perhaps that's how one feels when they jump out of an airplane (I've often thought that I have to do that one day). Next to that, I imagine stepping out into this world and saying "Hi" is the next most bravest thing I could do. I so admire the rest of you that are here and have been so brave. I've lived my life blocking this part of me, but now I want to live my life embracing her. I know you'll all understand when I say how much I've both loved and hated "her" when you know it's just "me". No more! Dianne deserves a life as much because of what she has given me; the understanding and empathy for my blessed partner, as is her need to have an outlet to express "herself". I promise in future not to talk as much in the 3rd person. Dianne is me, and I am Dianne. (But it's taken a 1/2 century to be able to say those words). I look so forward to giving her the opportunity to express herself and to bring "both" phases of who I am into harmony. Promise, I'm not always so deep. Just let's say I've jumped fully into the pond (with both feet)! and look forward to everything life intends to expose me to here on in. How's it said? "Hello World, Here I am!, Ready or not...guess it starts here..."
