Heather Mikaela Neophyte
"just did her first outreach at Front Range community college in Ft Collins CO"
Journal Entries for Heather Mikaela Neophyte
What a week!
June 15th, 2008 11:58 am MDT
This weekend has been crazy and the rest of the week isn't looking to get any less nuts. Friday night, June 13th, I had planned with Darlena (she has a profile here as Heather's big sis and Mike's good friend) to tell her husband about my cross dressing. I got home from work and was getting my makeup put on for the big unveiling when the doorbell rang. I thought they were early but it turns out my parents had gone for a ride on thier motorcycle and stopped by my house on a whim while passing through. My brother let them in just before he took off to see some freinds while I made my way back to the bathroom to wash off the makeup. I got cleaned up and came down to talk with my mom and dad. We talked for a bit and just before they left I came to a decision. I decided that if this is who I am and who I want to be then I shouldn't be ashamed. And if I'm not ashamed then why am I hiding? At that point I decided to tell them and did so before I could have second thoughts. They were both fine with it telling me that "whatever made me happy is ok with them" and I would always be thier son. But, the way they said it and didn't ask questions or deal with it in any way made it obvious that while they weren't about to disown me they would rather not know about it. They gave me the distinct impression that it's ok as long as they don't have to deal with it or really see it. Today is Father's day, and I'm about to head to thier house and bring gifts and all that. I'm not going to bring it up and we'll see if they do. On the other hand Darlena's husband took the news rather well considering we surprised him by coming down the stairs at him together in matching schoolgirl uniforms. He's always asking her to dress up as a schoolgirl so we thought this was a funny way to tell him and for her to finally give in to his request. He was just as supportive as Darlena and I'm glad it's finally out in the open so I can talk more freely to Darlena when I'm spending time with them. Next weekend I'm going to be spending most of the weekend dressed for PrideFest Denver. It's an outdoor festival in June though so I'm trying to find clothing that looks nice but isn't going to roast me in the Summer sun. Maybe I'll see some of you there as well. -Heather.
Coming out
May 9th, 2008 5:05 pm MDT
Ok, here I am 3 weeks into this and it's slowly becoming integrated into my old life. A week ago I made the step of telling a couple of friends that live out of state who are very open minded about this sort of thing. They were supportive and gave me a lot to think about. It was interesting to have them support me and make me nervous at the same time. "We're there for you in these trying times" who said the times are trying? I like the new me. But, the times, mentally speaking, did get a little rough later that week as I started doubting if this was really what I wanted. Then I thought, who would choose the life of an outsider from mainstream society if they didn't feel it was important to them? Would I do that? No, this is fun, liberating, exciting and, most important of all, ME! Next big step I took was earlier this week I started shaving off more of my body hair. Chest and legs mostly although I tried for as much of my back as I could reach, and I'm double jointed in my shoulders so I can reach alot. I'm still recovering from doing a rushed job on my legs and giving myself very bad razor burn. Biggest news for me was Wednsday. If I've chatted with you then you know my younger brother lives with me and that is why I cherished the times he was out so I could dress. Wed nights he goes over to a coworkers house to play video games with them and I took the opportunity this week to go to Phyllis' Fantasies where I bought some more clothes including a new girdle to tighten up my girlish figure and on a whim a Disney Princess style peach colored gown that is all flowing ribbons and lace that fit me perfectly. Unfortunately due to some troube with their credit card machine I was there later than I expected. I didn't get home until after 8pm and started changing, first I had to shave and get my makeup on and try on everything I bought again to make sure it fit, even though I tried it all on at the store. After I got my wig on and all sealed into the gown and just about to come down to my computer to take some pics on my webcam I hear the garage door open, my brother was home earlier than I thought! I suppose I could have made a dash to the bathroom with my guy pajamas and washed off the makeup while pretending to shower or something. Instead I asked him if I could tell him something if he promised not too laugh. He promised, and I came downstairs, his older brother, dressed up all peach colored in the most girly outfit you could possibly imagine. Long story short, he was fine with it as I knew he would be. We talked about things for the next few hours. How long I've felt this way, his experiences coming out to the family as gay years ago, why he never came out to me and let me find out on my own, his experiences with the TG community while he was immersed in the gay community years ago. It was nice to get the secret out as it was going to start getting hard to hide my shaved legs from him much longer anyway. Two more big steps ahead of me still though. 1) Go out in public dressed enfemme. I haven't yet, and though I want to I'm also very nervous about doing so. 2) Start dating again but revealing this early to any girls I go out with, as if I wasn't nervous enough on first dates.
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
Page generated in 0.05 seconds
