Danny 4TS
"looking for his soulmate"
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"looking for his soulmate"
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
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I Despise You People
Michelle Hart December 12th, 2008 4:44 pm MSTThe other night while I was watching the news it was annouced that here in Dallas a brand new "law" would be handed down and used to further punish those of us who have commited no crime. Those of us who have done nothing to the pathetic and pitiful "victims" who have cried foul for years. I have never met you, nor have I said a crass word to you until now. I have tried to stop your endless crusades of ignorance before, but alas my right's are far less important than yours aren't they.
As many of you know I frequently offer my suggestions and perhaps some questionable wisdom for the many wonderful people here in the URNA family. In the grandest sense I have compassion and love for each of you, but some of your efforts and actions are insanly ludicris and impossibly idiotic.
You don't know me but that really doesn't matter. It's your mission in life to punish me and harass me. You have taken it upon yourself to cost me even more money at every turn. That wasn't enough for you though, you wanted more from me. You forced me to stand out in the snow, and the rain. Why should you care if I catch a cold. You got your way like the screaming little brat in a store who has a mother that just can't say no. Your whining temper tantrums are the stuff of legend.
Oh you cry, and flail about in an never ending quest to be validated for your own stupidity and disrespect. You only care about YOU! Nobody else matters. Not the people that will lose their jobs, not the busineses that will lose revenue, certainly not the companies that initially built this nation.
Did you know that all you have today is because of them? You don't care though because you got to force me to give up one more thing that I enjoyed. Desperately hopeing you could taste something other than the meaningless life you live now. Am I being to hateful or harsh for you? Well you have treated me with disdain and contempt for years but you never noticed it. You were far to busy dreaming up your next cause and looking for the newest idiotic crusade.
You are to much of a coward to risk anything at all. You have never been willing to start your own business and cater to those who share your opinion. You were not willing to invest all you had to build something up and gain a loyal customer base. No not you. That was far to difficult, and you knew it would fail eventualy anyway. So you decided to punish those who did do it instead. Why should you put your hard work and effort into something and risk failure? You would never ever do that, it's so much easier to hide behind someone else and throw your intolerance around.
Why should you care if a business has to close it's doors, why should you care if YOU are the cause of that inconveinience. You got your way and finally got to punish the evil doers like me who just happened to be enjoying something you don't like. It never crossed your mind to go someplace else. Oh that's right, those places were not nearly as much fun were they?
Respect for others was never very easy for you was it? So you run your Ad's on the tele, you have your websites and claims of percieved malice. All the while totally ignoring not only the history of this country but those of us who still believe in freedom of choice. Yes my dear, that's right. You lack the most basic of intelligence, you fail in understanding and accepting those simple words. I am sure it's just impossible for you creatins to understand, that anyone could actually have the ability to live their own life without your intrusive and totally misguided wisdom!
You have a choice. Yet, you would do all that you can to ensure that I'm not allowed one. You decry the trauma that I cause you, the pain you feel, the suffering you endure. Oh yes honey you are no different from the petulant lout of a child who did'nt get a lolly pop.
The sheer disdain and contempt you show for me and others is deplorable.
You see my right's as written in the constitution to pursue life liberty and happiness mean absolutely nothing to you. You and the other uneducated brigons have taken it upon yourselves to transfer your inherent misery onto me and others. While I and others try to casually enjoy our evenings out, or just relax at home, you fume and plot and scheme in evermore creative ways to dictate my actions and limit my personal decisions and choices.
Misery loves company and you just can't wait to make everyone as miserable as you.
It's not enough that I have tried to work with you by sitting outside in the cold, or at the back of reasteraunts where I can't apreciate the veiw. No that just was'nt enough, it never will be. So you cried more and more. You complained and no matter what I or anyone else did to make you happy it just was'nt ever enough.
As long as you get your way, it does'nt matter if I have to suffer right? You have forced me to give up the thing's that I used to be able to enjoy in peace. To you EVERYTHING is a problem for you to solve and control. Would you devise a polite and respectful resolution to your egregious and intelectually vapid claims of suffering? Never! That's far to mature and respectful for you.
So I write this open letter to you, the pathetic whining child, the denzien who cares only about yourself and your "rights" but nobody elses. You wretches who have shown such utter and total comtempt for me as an adult. You, who delusionally belive that it is somehow your responsibility nay your "right" to intrude on my life and ruin my relaxation and enjoyment no matter the cost.
You have taken so much from me and others yet have given NOTHING back.
You are a parisite that eagerly sucks the life out of everything around you. As long as you get to decide how everyone else lives, what they eat, or even what they are allowed to drive you're happy.
Unfortunately for you that will never be, YOU will never be happy! YOU will never be content! So today I just wanted to say how much I despise you, how much I loath you and your ilk.
Becasue of YOU I can no longer enjoy a cigarette or a cigar at the Village Station or any other bar or resturaunt in Dallas.
Feel free to let me know what other choices of mine you would like to take away....
Oh and my final two words to you, one these words is “Up.” The other is a possessive pronoun.
[Comment on this post]
Sigh
Nicole Samantha James December 11th, 2008 2:02 am MSTWhat the hell am I doing? I moved out of LA because it was so stiffling then I get here to Arizona and before the month is out I had slept with 6 guys. Then I get pissed at myself and swear I will never do it again but the next week there I am on my back again making some guy happy. I get all femmed up and watch as even my voice changes ok well maybe I listen you cant really watch your voice change now can you?
On a lighter note Im having this dream where I find a bar of soap in a box so not just soap thrown in the street. On the box is a picture of a hot girl. I was with the soap and become that girl on the box. Turns out she is a stripper so now I am dancing at the local gentlemans club. One question why on earth is it called a GENTLEMANS club.
Im Nicole James and I am not really sure I approve this message
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True essence of beauty...is from within ;-)
Angel Cum 4u October 13th, 2008 11:25 am MDTThe true essence of beauty is not just seen from the physical appearance; but the true essence of beauty is seen from within...which i mean is, Look to your heart not to your eyes, because the heart see the finest points of beauty which eyes cannot. If you look to your heart not to your eyes, doors will be opened, spirits will be move and life will be change forever!!![Comment on this post]
K Salon
Angel Cum 4u September 23rd, 2008 10:56 am MDThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFUtrrd9bTE[Comment on this post]
True Colors
Angel Cum 4u August 10th, 2008 10:12 am MDThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IilVx_gr69c&NR=1[Comment on this post]
thank you!!
Angel Cum 4u June 29th, 2008 2:38 pm MDTthank you to all people who remember to greet me at my birthday..and to all those who not; your still my friends... have a great day to all!!![Comment on this post]
Gold? Ha!
Anna Sparks June 9th, 2008 10:35 pm MDTyou fuckin fags con us into paying more for a stupid gold membership and then you lock me out with the stupid login traps, this sucks[3 comments]
Sheriff Joe Arpaio
Michelle Hart June 2nd, 2008 11:49 am MDTYou all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb. Well.........
Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.
The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.
The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.
The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.
I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.
Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote.
Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO
HE IS THE MARICOPA, ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF
AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail':
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination.
He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.
When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working
ON My Chain Gangs.
He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton. . . . . If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.'
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
More On The Arizona Sheriff:
With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports:
About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts.
On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached
138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.
Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.
'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear,
But They Didn't Commit Any Crimes, So Shut Your Mouths!'
Way To Go, Sheriff!
Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.
Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona
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The Cowardly Lion
Michelle Hart May 16th, 2008 2:36 am MDTAs most of you know I get a perverse thrill from killing trolls. Even though I never see them or meet these disgusting little creatures. Stepping on them is still loads of fun. I can almost see their faces through the bushy unkempt hair and ratty little costume they have on. The sickening drool dripping from their teeth. The wide vacant eyes. I know you have seen them too. Spotting them is easy just look for a small beady eyed little furry mass of vile idiocy. Talking to them is useless since none of them can read. For them "NO" means keep going. I've also noticed how easily they get irritated too. They have a very curious aversion to manners and polite discourse. Nobody actually knows for sure what they look like since no photos of them exist. If you look closely though in the dark alleyways and under the bushes outside you might just see one. His cold dead eyes are unresponsive to any human emotion. Trolls only see a meal they want to bite into. Be very careful girls, that meal is US.
Trolls always lurk in the shadows, on the fringe looking for the weakest among us. They hover just outside of the light searching for the easy prey. Vicious little predators. Be on guard for their siren song too. It sounds pleasing at first but it is only a lure. One of the things that gives them away is the stench of their lies. You see ladies a troll is the worst kind of animal, no social skills, no respect for others, disdain for the ones he desires most. I find it odd that we are his favorite meal yet he can not stand our flavor.
As we graze in the lush forest of the internet, proudly displaying our gold, brown and auburn manes. So thick and lustrous, full and coiffed to perfection. Our coats are so decorative, and abundant in color. Silvers, reds, blacks, gold's and emerald greens. Our skins are smooth to the touch yet we radiate a heat that rivals the sunlight we thrive on. Our paws are adorned with highly arched spikes which emphasize our seductive gait. We preen ourselves endlessly and without tire. We are the seductress of the internet. The fantasy of many. Gazed at and loved from afar by some, often approached only by only the bravest of Teddy Bears. As species go we come in all shapes and sizes. Which only adds to our collectively impressive and beautiful herd.
Yes ladies we are a grand vision as we saunter through life. If you look closely though you can see the scars left by our many battles. The bruises on our souls and the deep wounds of lost years. Our beauty and wisdom is unparalleled yet we still lose some to the trolls. A seemingly endless barrage of spit and drool splattered on our luscious fur. Their poison is deadly as it sinks in and wears us down. Thankfully they are not pack animals like wolves. They hate each other almost as much as they dislike us. Even though they tend to attack all at once. They creep up on us and pounce. You see they want your spirit broken, only then will the song they sing have any effect. Trolls are lonely little creatures. They hide in dank caves and live under the busy highways we travel upon. Always lurking in the shadows.
They are terrified by light though, the light of truth is a great weapon against the lies in their song. They have so little to say on their profiles. hoping to nibble at you slowly so each lie can be tailored to their victim. Trolls are always willing to send you a photo but they will never post one. Excuses abound with these pitiful creatures. Always be cautious when near them, they foam at the mouth in anticipation of a kill. They will attack without mercy or quarter. Brushing them off once is never enough. Remember trolls cant read so you have to shoo them away repeatedly. Fighting them will take all your time and strength. Trolls make everyone miserable. Trolls are unhappy and secretive until it's time for you to meet them. If a troll thinks he is going to get a meal he will gladly tell you anything to get you there. Don't expect him to show though, and if he does you might not see the sunrise.
Trolls always say the same thing, "I'm nice" how strange that a "nice" person is afraid to post a photo. How unusual that a "nice" person has NOTHING to say about themselves. Perhaps all the time they have spent in the shadows has affected their infantile brain. A persons actions and manners determine if they are "nice" far more than words ever will. Trolls always have a profile "someplace else", where it "ok" to be seen. So long as they are not seen here. Trolls are very interested in us yet they fear any association. Theses pitiful creatures hover around us like gnats with plenty of time to lurk but never enough time to finish their profile. I love when they want to "send me a pic" but they can't put it in their profile. Such shame, they have.
It's always an excuse with them. These scared little trolls so full of themselves trying to convince us of their greatness. They talk like lions but behave like lambs. Such cowards they are. Every one of them tries to talk like James Bond with their secrecy. Always a coded name and secret occupation. even the most benign conversation is a chore with them. All they say is vile tripe. All sizzle no substance. To lazy and dumb to put even the slightest effort in to conversation. When you ask a pointed question they back away like you have sprayed them with mace.
Trolls see themselves as lions, but their actions always deem otherwise. They expect you to do all the work, invest all the time, and even throw yourself into their waiting mouth. To them we are just a folly. An erotically tempting taboo fantasy. We are not a person with feeling or needs. Even if they saw us as such they still would not care for us. They lack all the things a woman needs to flourish. They had nothing to give.
Be careful girls the jungle is dangerous....
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Smile=Prayers
Angel Cum 4u April 25th, 2008 4:51 pm MDTa SMILE makes you look YOUNGER while PRAYERS makes you STRONGER.[Comment on this post]
Beautiful
Angel Cum 4u April 23rd, 2008 3:48 pm MDTi luv the meaning of this song on mtv :-) http://youtube.com/watch?v=xiD4ekEQrnE[3 comments]
love...circle...name
Angel Cum 4u April 8th, 2008 2:23 pm MDTWhen you love someone, draw a cirlce around there name instead of a heart 'coz hearts can be broken but circles never end :-)[Comment on this post]
First Timer
Jennifer Tomkins March 30th, 2008 3:30 pm MDTI have never taken the plunge to be so public about this little habit. I hope people understand and are kind in their remarks. I have always be dressing up. Unless I am completely dressed, the thrill is incomplete. I have dressed up as a girl and made my way through Macy's. I was a bit nervous, but no one took notice. Would like to meet friends and experience this excitment with others. Be nice..... Thanks[3 comments]
A nightmare that I dont want to come true:
Ms Jenna Clarke March 25th, 2008 9:08 pm MDTI usually post 'serious' things. Thats because Im a serious kind of person. I joke and tease a lot but when it comes right down to it...Im really scared and sad deep down inside. Usually when I am my MOST beautiful - THAT is an indication that I am 'over compensateing'... for what you may wonder? I have already told you. Strange how we as people (all Humans) cover our insecurities with 'things'. Some use drugs, smokeing, eating, sex, alchohol, Bullying others, laughter, torment and shopaholicism (I know Ive misspelled some words but that dosent consern me a bit) to name a few. I use my B-E-A-U-T-Y and my ability to stop trafic and make others stumble over themselves (men and women alike) with my natural beauty... It makes ME feel not so inferior. It makes me feel HAPPY that I am being treated with such kindness and careing - even if its because I am such a 'Pretty little thang'. I take comfort in knowing that I am seen with longing eyes for just one moment in others eyes... In person, I smile a lot and laugh with others and try my BEST to be warm, inviting, positive and THANKFUL for and to others. It comes naturally to me to want to please others - pleasing others pleases ME... because I try SO HARD to make others happy. My nightmare 'is not uncommon' within our group of 'Ladies' ... being alone. I have lived alone for YEARS. I have not had relationships for YEARS. I have not ALLOWED the touch of a man to me for YEARS because of their seeming nature alltogether: Men want sex. If they dont get it from YOU than they will get it from 'someone elce'. I have noticed that on and on again. Thats sad. I do NOT allow myself to fall into mens arms for their reason of nature alone. Id RATHER be by my self for YEARS and without any attatchments than to be bothered with 'wondering' if my Boyfriend is going to stray - as most do from time to time. You cant hold a man...only he can hold himself to you - this I have understood from EARLY on in my struggles of relationships. My fear is to be PERMANENTLY alone. You may ask, "Why do you turn ALL of these men away if you do not want to be alone?" Easy, I have already stated that to you. One may ask me, "Since you do not trust them, WHY do you persist in the persuit of them?" What I have to say to that is this, "I dont. I dont INITIATE the persuit. I only respond when I feel or think that one has found me that is of 'suitable' nature to my likeing. THEN and ONLY THEN do they mostly run off because the Chaser becomes the Chased!" Men can not seem to feel in comfort when they meet someone who turns the tables on them. I, for one am EXTREMELY dominant. Dominant in the way of: AGRESSIVE in my modes. Most men COWER under my ability to 'seemingly crush them' with my gase, stance and overall power of dominance. There has NOT been a one who has succeded me. Not a one ! Lately I have come to an understanding and acceptance of being the way I am (in my Dominant and unyeilding nature - dont get me wrong, I am HIGHLY understanding and compromising. I by ALL means aim to please - BUT - if I sence one thread of weakness or uncertainty - THATS when I pounce!) may be my downfall to a life of lonelyness. Only time will tell if I shall meet one who will be able to fit me like a glove... that takes a rare man indeed. Oh, so true.
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The RMS Titanic
Michelle Hart March 24th, 2008 7:26 pm MDTOn Sunday, 14 April 1912 at 11:40 p.m. The RMS Titanic struck an iceberg and in just 2 hours, and 40 minutes it was gone forever. That in itself is quite profound. Construction on Titanic started on 22 March 1909 with the riveting together of the first of the Ship’s steel plates. A little over two years later, the Titanic was launched on 31 May 1911. Titanic was delivered to the White Star Line in early April, and on 10 April 1912, the Titanic left Southampton, England, for her first trip to New York City. Four days later she was gone.
That's a rather profound little bit of history. So what ladies does this have to do with the price of high heels and miniskirts in china. Follow along if you dare for another adventure in womanhood.
Everything mentioned about the Titanic is true and accurate, Check it if you must. It is from the original records maintained at the time of it's sinking. So how does this relate to the pink fog?
I'm sure you are wondering. It's education, a little slice of the puzzle. A simple timeline explaining a catastrophe. And that sisters is the rub. Are you an idiot, clueless, uniformed, uneducated, or just to lazy to look it up. It took me a whopping five minutes to find out that time line. I read three pages on one website and viola. On the scale of pain and suffering I rate it a -7. No difficulty, no real hardship, not very confusing or even overly verbose. I just took a few minutes to do a little research before I wrote my latest column.
So with that we embark on our newest voyage of discovery.
when I meet someone I like to get to know them a little. I ask questions, share ideas, flirt a little, don't we all. Usually you can tell a lot about someone just by what they wear and how they interact with those around them. When you sit there with your date and intently gaze at him what do you see? The rude and callous way he talks to the staff or the quiet confidence he has when he orders the meal.
Is he attentive to you or does he spend his time looking at other women. Was he polite to the staff, or did he leave a tip? How does he speak to you? Is he crude or boisterous? Are his silly jokes actually funny or does he regale you with poetry. Does he know what you like to eat or the movies you like to watch? Was his effort to seduce you worthwhile or just painful. Did he do his homework?
For all of you who are curious, primarily for you lazy ones. Do your own dam homework! I am not your personal dictionary nor an encyclopedia of the Trans gendered. I don't know everything and if I did I wouldn't be here. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the same questions a thousand times a week. Get off your duff girls. Open up a search page and start reading. I swear if one more of you tarts asks me what I wear to work I'm going to explode. Get a bloody clue, read my journals, read my profile, use the internet, go to the library. Quit being so utterly incensed when I lose interest because of your dumb questions.
If I did have all the answers I would be in New York wearing a fabulous silver gown attending a gala with my rich husband. Wouldn't that be nice..... oh well, back to waiting tables...
Recently while chatting away with a girl I was really getting tired of it. The oh so feminine name, the attempted girlie comments, jammed between the male ones and the overall confusion she displayed. The internet is not new. It has been around a long time, there are thousands of sites that can recommend a counselor, or a corset. The number of Makeup books on Amazon alone could sink the Titanic. Quit asking me this stuff. I wear heels to work everyday, I pin my hair up most of the time, and yes I even wear a dress to the office on occasion. I AM A WOMAN!! That's what we do. When I go out I'm a girl when I sit at home I'm a girl. OK!
With that in mind I am not a doctor, I'm not a therapist or a marriage counselor. If your having problems at home with your wife or girlfriend or whatever quit asking my opinion. I have no idea what you should tell her or him. I barley know you. I'm not going to call you and NO you can't call me. However if I do know you and I have a bond with you that is entirely different. I will help you wonderful ladies out in any way that I can. They are a VERY select group of girls on this site, and they know who they are. Do you see the difference, I have done my homework, I have talked to them. I read what they had to say and LISTENED to it. These incredible women have my gratitude, respect and my love. No I'm not a waitress, but I play one here.
With each column I try to impart that diamond in the rough, that elusive pearl of wisdom. Ladies I am on a very long and often painful road. I have had to endure more pain and suffering than I want to think about or remember. When I began this I was ugly and fat and had no clue what I was doing. Over the years I have LEARNED, I have READ, and I have LISTENED to what other girls said. I looked everywhere. I wrote emails to women I didn't know and hoped they would respond. Most did not but I kept searching and reading anyway.
You see what men find attractive is feminine mannerisms, attitudes and behaviors. The boys want to see short skirts and stockings, but that is not what being feminine or female is about. If you are a girl and you approach a woman you need to knock off the childish and not so subtle pandering. I like to talk about all kinds of things. I am more than happy to share my experiences with you. I will answer most questions if you have an earnest point. Keep that in mind when you ask me something. There are things about me that are strictly off limits. Think about how I might feel when you ramble on about how you wish you were me. Honey trust me, YOU do not want to be in my heels.
If you have no clue what you are or where you fit in, how the hell should I know. Get out there and live it. Don't tell me you want to be like me if your to dam scared to walk out your front door. All that does is insult me and all the women like me who have done it. Every one of us started out fat, dumb, and ugly including me your humble hostess. We BECAME what we are through hard work and shear force of will. We have been abused and lied to. We have been laughed at and fired. So quit asking us what it's like. Honestly it's pretty boring most days. The luster and glamour have long since passed.
Sure every once in a while I go down to the promenade deck for a smoke and a drink or two. The rest of the time I go to work and try to live my life. For most of you it's a passing fancy, for me it's the real world. We live it and so can you if you really want to. I will try to recommend places you can go, books to read or even a technique or two I have learned. things like that are just fine, as your stewardess it's my job to help you.
One thing I am not going to do is put your life jacket on you, I'm not going to tell you where to sit in the lifeboat either. You need to figure some of this out on your own. I stopped acting like a girl and started acting like a woman a long time ago. I stopped with the juvenile come on's and asked about hair and shoes. When I was pretending to be a woman in the beginning, I acted like one and now I am one. That girls it what it is really about.
So girls there it is. There's your bon bon of wisdom. If your playing dress up that's fine with me I actually think some of you are way better looking than I am. It's a woman thing with our catty pecking order and stuff you understand. If you are serious and want to stop being a little girl though and grow up to be a woman then crack a book or two. Asking questions is fine but asking the wrong questions shows foolishness. Waiting until the water is flooding your room is the wrong time to put your life jacket on. If you don't even know what a life jacket is that's even worse.
So that's it girls, take this seriously because it is for many of us. Show a little deference to our moods and condescension. We may have already answered your question fifty times today. It's not that we are mean we are just tired. Believe me, I would much rather talk about shoes and when Macy's is having a sale than weather or not YOU should be on hormones. I became what I am now. I practiced and practiced it until is was natural and so can you. Honey I know you can do it!
The random silliness of "gee your so fine" is laborious. Don't misunderstand when I get a PM or a simple note telling me I am beautiful I love it. Like all women I love to be complimented, and for all of you who stop by my page or PM me and say a kind word I am eternally grateful. I really am. I love it when a random stranger just says "hey you look really nice today". My heart melts, and I get all warm and fuzzy inside but if you think that's the way to get the scoop on being a woman you are way wrong.
So ask yourself girls are you the Titanic? The girl who is to big and to lazy to do your own research while heading for the iceberg? Are you ignoring all the things women are telling you because you don't like how it sounds and are to arrogant to heed the warnings. Or are you the Lusitania, the lone ship in the night going at full steam to aide others? I know which one I am, Do you?
It's sink or swim time....
[3 comments]
The House Rules...
Michelle Hart March 21st, 2008 4:17 pm MDTRecently I went to have lunch with a friend of mine. As I walked to the door I noticed the little signs that adorn most businesses these days. You know the ones, "member of the BBB", "Visa, MasterCard American Express", or that little no smoking symbol. As I casually read these stickers I thought about the subtle things they told me as a patron. This small diner I frequent just gave me a list of their house rules.
Many of you know I've never been to Las Vegas. I have always wanted to go and have flown over it a dozen times or more. As of yet, I have not had the opportunity to go. Fear not dear reader I actually plan to get there one of these days. I consider it a must do on life's list of activities and adventures. It may sound silly but even though I have never been to Vegas I know the casino's rules. Strange isn't it. I know what is acceptable behavior there and what is not allowed. I know their rules.
So what on earth could the jewel in the rough be this time. What nugget is awaiting you? It's rather simple really. Just know the rules. Think about it, Everything has rules. When you Tango or glide around during the Fox Trot or the Waltz there are steps to follow. In order to dance well you need to know the steps. You have to know the rules. When you drive down the road on the way to get those fabulous shoes what do you see? More Rules. No left turn, Stop, and one way signs, each one indicating the direction of travel.
There will always be rules. In love, in dancing, and in life. Knowing them and learning them will only help you. I have my rules, many here know them. Some do not. Even this site has it's rules. Some know them, far to many do not. Those who don't know them don't want to. Many people visit this site for many different reasons. Only the visitor or those who take time to read about me know why they are here. It saddens me greatly that there are some who think the rules do not apply to them.
I'm sure you know the type. It's the moron who saunters up to you at the bar, and lacks any grace. He has no class nor morals yet still thinks he is somehow OWED your company. A world class loser who by his own admission is a lying cad. He has no respect for you or any other woman. he just struts up to you in his cheap shoes and wrinkled t-shirt and expects you to break the rules for him. He is audacious, callous and ignorant. He is not interested in the house rules. They don't interest him because he is hot and bothered and needs to get off.
I pity him, Fleeting as it may be. I move on quietly with style as he whines about how difficult it is to do a profile here. His statements have no merit and make less and less sense. I am amused ever so slightly by his futile gesture to convince me of his worth. As he rambles on endlessly about his need to be part of my life all the while showing me no respect whatsoever. My patience begins to wane as he continues to blame someone or anyone else for his problems.
You see he ignored my rule, and by doing so was disrespectful. Real men are always respectful, especially to women. I despise men who are disrespectful of women. You see that is one of my rules. If you are disrespectful and are unwilling to meet my needs why would I want to know you. Would you want someone who is so self centered that all they cared about was themselves, What They wanted or thought they needed? I trust you said no.
Nobody likes the pompous egotistical little brats of the world. In your own life you know who they are. The people who call you late at night because they are bored, they never care if you were sleeping. They never have cab fare and just stick out their hand and expect you to give them money for it. Every action and every deed shows how little they care about you and emphasizes how much the care only about themselves. The world owes them everything yet they do nothing to earn it.
I've met such a pitiful person on more than one occasion here. Each time he assaulted me in the chat room his handle was different. Perhaps he thought that by changing his name it would somehow impress me. I've said many times cowardice is distasteful to me. However Chivalry is a huge turn on. There were several people in particular who showed incredible class in defense of my honor as this miserable little man continued his tirade like a spoiled child. These wonderful people of whom I speak knew my rules and respected them. That my dear reader is what class is.
One in particular followed my rules and showed respect, and in doing so got closer to me. The other fool, the spoiled child with his ranting complaints was cast aside quickly. I have no room in my kitchen for spoiled vegetables.
In the dance of love the man proposes the step. The woman has the choice to accept and follow or decline his advance. The woman follows the man, but the man has to know how to lead her. A woman will follow his lead as he guides her, gently, softly, and passionately across the floor. She wont follow if he steps on her toes, or shoves her and pushes her around. Why would she? The seduction is lost and her toes are hurt now. Knowing the rules makes you a good driver just as it will make you a great dancer.
You see my dear reader you can either accept the rules each of us create for our own reasons or you can cry and whine about them. If as most of you do, you respect others; You have no problem with a few requested courtesies. Showing grace and class is quite easy for you. On the other hand, If you are like the aforementioned useless idiot, grace and class you will never have. The whining and name calling only shows me how much I don't want you in my life. In doing so you display for all the world why you have a bitter existence. A life of shame and disdain wrapped in cowardly arrogance. I have no time for you, not now nor ever. Your silly game of coded letters indicating your age and build are uninteresting. You bore me, before you even speak.
I am here to learn, to grow, to socialize with those who are like me. The joy I derive from helping a girl out who has questions or just needs a gentle touch of understanding is tremendous. I am more than flattered that some have trusted me with an intimate moment or a horrific tale of personal trauma. To be able to develop a bond with such amazing women is difficult to describe for someone like me who has far to many blond moments.
Every woman here has her talents, her accomplishments, and her embarrassments. I have so many it's taken a lifetime to resolve them. Even today some of my good deeds still go unpunished. I am no angel nor am I gifted, but I know the rules. It's easy if you just learn to read like I did when I was in Kindergarten.
Each of us is looking for someone to dance with, that wonderful soul who takes our hand gently. They twirl us with gusto as we get closer to that crescendo of passion. We all want the best dance partner don't we. However if you stumble on to the floor drunk on your own self importance, trying to conduct the conductor nobody is going to dance with you. I certainly will not, would you?
Alas there he is the maniacal little troll, to cowardly or stupid to figure out how to do his profile. Ignoring the fact that thousands of others have already done it successfully. He only complains and whines. Poor me, poor me. Yes you are poor.....in spirit, in honesty, and in life. You will never have anything more than your fantasy. Your neurotic desire to be my dance partner. I calmly tell you to learn, to gracefully practice the moves I have laid out for all to see.
I implore you to read, to examine me as you would the soft petals of the flowers in a garden. Then and only then will you succeed in this dance. The dance floor is polished and the music is gently caressing my soul. My heart beats in anticipation of the seductive Tango to come.
The question is.....Do you know the house rules?
[3 comments]
Are you lonely tonight........
Michelle Hart March 17th, 2008 2:42 pm MDTIf you are, have you ever really thought about why? Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself what am I doing wrong? I have. A lot more than you would believe. Yes dear reader little miss social butterfly who knows everybody has her moments. I don't always get invited to the best parties but I go to my fair share. Have you ever wondered why? Why do I get to go when you don't? What makes me so special? Well if you press onward and can endure the following you'll know the answer.
I might be talking about you or I might be talking to you. I'll never know but you will. I might make you despise me with this article, or perhaps you will love me more. Only you can decide just as it should be. As always I write from the heart and hope my revelations are meaningful to you loyal reader in some small way. With that said, on with the show...
Dolly Parton once said "honey it takes a lot of money to look this cheap" She was right. You can always tell who has spent money and time on their look and appearance. Just as easily you can see who didn't. That girls is what makes Dolly so cool.
Norma and James have always been cool too. I trust you know who they are just by my use of their first names. If not, James Dean and Norma Jean Baker or Marilynn Monroe. Just take a moment and think about them. We all have and image of those two in our minds. What was it that made them so loved? Was it the hair, the leather jacket, or that grate in New York City. We may not agree on why they were so loved but we can all agree that they were loved and admired by millions.
What about Betty? Or John, two more classic icons of cool. Humphrey is my favorite. I'll admit though that Fred's smooth moves with Ginger on the dance floor make me swoon. Oh I know Clark is so dashing it hurts but, Vivian was so undeniably sexy in that white gown it gave me chills. Betty was cool because she had "The look". Vivian was undeniably sexy and you never saw her naked. James was cool and he hardly even spoke. Norma, well duhhh. All of them had "IT" and a lot of girls here do too. I don't know if I do but I am a lot closer than some and farther than others.
Think about the short list of people I've mentioned, what is it about them that get you going. Was it Eldorado? Maybe is was The Maltese Falcon, which is my personal favorite. Perhaps you loved Gentlemen prefer blonds, or East of Eden. When I think about A Streetcar Named Desire it gives me goosebumps, I'll admit when I saw Kitty Foyle I knew why it beat The Letter.
As I dish out this latest missive like mothers apple pie which we all know is never anything but perfect. The Pie not me, I'm clueless. I have to ask the question, What is it about being cool? What is it that makes someone sexy? Sometimes it can be just a phrase, or a look. It can be a really tight skirt or a bomber jacket. The point is we all struggle to be cool. We all want to be admired and thought of in a positive way. How DOES that happen? It happens by doing just the right thing at the right time. DO the wrong thing and viola, your a tramp....FOREVER!
Think about it, If your sixty five and your profile says "hot young thang" your not being cool, you're being dumb. That really low quality webcam shot of your spare tire is not hot, it's gross. Trolling the internet claiming to be a vixen when you look more like a Volkswagen is not aiding you in your quest to be cool. I cant count the number of really poor quality profiles I've seen here and on other sites. Does "I love to shop and wear heels" really tell anybody anything about you? Or maybe "hot gurl loves to chat and get kinky" what a mouthful that is. For somebody.
What about this jewel "I'm in the closet but I want to explore my fem side", Hmmmmm. So If you're looking in the mirror and thinking your Oh so sexy but act like your 14, Stop it! Cut it out, your not being "interesting" your not being "mysterious", honey you ain't cool. Just because you ended your fifth marriage and are trying to "find yourself" is not a good enough reason to act like a stupid tart, unless that's what your going for. If it is don't leave a comment because everybody knows if a hooker gets out of line she just gets beaten by her pimp. Yes dear I said it, If you talk like some streetwalker and live to dress like one well that's how I will treat you.
I will not show you one bit of respect, why should I? You don't respect your self and you have even less respect for women. Why you ask am I railing against some of my sisters here? Have you looked at some of these "girls"? For clarification go read my nightmare in a red dress column. If you want to be COOL then act COOL. Duhh!!
Girls let me ask you, did you get up today and think to yourself "I want to be a cheap harlot" I doubt it. Well then why on earth do you act that way? Ladies spandex has a load limit... For goodness sake dress you age. twenty something nubile little sex kittens can get away with the bright blue tube top, fifty or sixty year olds can't. Sorry to burst your bubble but You really look bad in those bobby socks and pig tails. What a condescending bitch you say? Who the hell does she think she it telling me how to dress. Well I have to admit I'm a little goofy too but I do know what looks good. Do you? If it's to tight it's the wrong size ladies.
If you want to look like a million dollars then you are going to have to shop someplace other than the thrift store. Your web cam is not an ideal way to show everybody how glamorous you are. It tells everybody how cheap you are. Go buy a decent camera girls!! Quit hiding behind that phony veil of secrecy, You are not Emma Peel. If your wife or girlfriend or whatever finds out, why haven't you told them already? If your lying to them why should I believe your telling me the truth. Being cool is about having courage. It's being who you really are, Why do you think the cool kids always get away with mischief? Duhh!!
It takes a lot of courage to put a profile here. The consequences can be dire for some. I know that. Just ask yourself this, if somebody you know sees you and recognizes you what are they really going to say? Ohhh I saw your picture, I read your profile, Ohhhh. Oh give me a break!! If they are here then they were looking for somebody like you to start with. It's probably a fluke that they found your page. Think about how cool they are for actually being here and how un cool you are for hiding behind a blank profile.
SO.... are you mad, did I hurt your poor little feelings? If I did then you are who I'm talking about. If you have been nodding your head and agreeing thus far well you probably have "IT". I'm sure there will be some who chime in with some diatribe of slander which is fine with me. I love a good debate. Enough with the excuses, enough with the sob stories and the moronic claims about why you cant post a picture. I've actually had people tell me that Jon and Dan wouldn't help them. That is the single biggest lie I have ever been told. Those two guys are absolutely a dream to deal with. I know, I work in the tech field. They are VERY dedicated to making this an incredible experience for all who visit.
Now you have the basics for what you need to start your journey. Have SOMETHING to say, even if its misguided or totally off base. Learn how to spell, Learn how to write. Be PASIONATE. If your going to run around your house in your wife's underwear and claim your a woman then get a clue. Being a LADY is not about seeing how far you can push the envelope with your pictures or the really poorly done fake ones. Prancing around in a teddy when you weigh more than the spruce goose is pretty pathetic. Oh I know it's a "thyroid problem". No honey is a Twinkies problem or maybe a Dolly Madison problem. Your not "big boned" either. Go read an anatomy book before you try that idiocy on me.
If your sitting home alone and playing around at being a woman that's fine. Just stop pretending to be something your not. If your a girl then be a girl. If your some horney jock who wants to just get off with a little naughty talk so be it. Just quit lying about it. We all want to have a little fun. Even this little princess does the deed on occasion.
Ahhh back to the big picture....Ok so NOW you want to know how to get "IT". It's actually a lot easier than you think.
Act your age not your shoe size. Dress your age, quit pretending to be Hanna Montana. Tell us about you, The real you not the delusional fantasy you watched on pay per view yesterday. Get rid of the fake photos, trust me even your worst one is better than your "fantasy one". Use spell check and learn how to write with flair. If you are not passionate about you, then why should I be? Be honest with yourself, and be honest in your profile. I don't spend my time with people who live in a fantasy world. DO YOU? Write more than two sentences. If that's all there is to knowing you, then you are far too uninteresting for me or anyone else to get to know.
If you do all of these things you will be on the path to cool. You may never get there, I haven't yet but I am working on it. Why be a supporting actress when with a little work you could play the lead. You know who she is, the girl everybody flocks to. Why not work at it and be right there with her, instead of hiding in the shadows. Nobody is going to "discover" you if you are to afraid to audition. Just remember though that if you want to be the leading lady you need to act like it. Leading ladies are never tarts. They may play one occasionally, but it's not their feature role.
The next time you sit there late ant night crying and wishing you could find a partner. Ask yourself how good a partner you would be. When Fred and Ginger danced it was magic. Are you the one who leads or the one who falters? How can anyone else see your talent if your to afraid to get on the stage. Grow up. Be an adult. You can handle it. Someday you will get your big break, Your audition will be flawless. If you don't have a profile though that leading man or woman you hope to find might just pass you by.
If you do the right things and I know you can.
You won't be lonely tonight.......
[2 comments]
Your'e So Hot....
Michelle Hart March 12th, 2008 5:10 pm MDTIn my ever elusive quest for a "nice" guy I thought It might be fun to post some of the "love letters" I have gotten over the years. I have placed them in no particular order. I have added my thoughts to them so for the few guys who might read this it might help you figure out why the girls you write to NEVER write back...
I do respond to every polite note I get. Many times if sombody actually does write a well thought out and kind letter I will respond quickly. It takes me a while sometimes but I try really hard to answer everybody. I do have a job... For you guys out there who read my columns these are actual leters from men who are cluless about girls.
Guys we get a lot of mail. OK! We know you want to get in our knickers, we get it. Well we like a little satin sheet time to. The problem is in how you approach us. The letters below never work. If you want some really cheap slut who will sleep with anybody fire away. However if you want a truly hot woman who will keep you satisfied and really wants to be with you take a lesson from these.
Letter -----------------------------------
now lets see the other side. lets share pic's
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Poor gramar, unfocused and lacking any meaningful thought. This sure made me feel special...NOT!!
Letter -----------------------------------
Hi Michelle. My name is ******. I am a 38 year old male that resides in a suburb of ********. I am 5'10" 190 blue eyes and brown hair. I consider myself bi with the righTG lady. I would love to learn more about you. If you want a picture let me know.
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Umm.. Where do I start? It's sure nice to know that you have no clue if your atracted to me. No I don't want to know what you look like, how silly. Why on earth would I ever want a photo. I sure am glad you asked me a lot of questions. Thats what I do when I want to "get to know" somebody. How about you start by READING my profile...
Letter -----------------------------------
Hey Michelle, I am very into crossdressers, and would like to see more of you. I am very familiar with village station, and go there on occasion. Let's trade pics, and see if we have something for each other!
My Thoughts -----------------------------
I'm not a "crossdresser" you dolt. Everybody "wants" to see more of me they just are not willing to do anyting to get that far. Yes let's trade pics you've seen mine so where is yours?? Just what exactly is that somthing?? I really love the cryptic ones, nothing says "he's a keeper" like vauge and noncommital.
Letter -----------------------------------
Hey babe you look hott hopefully we can chat i am in ***** tx but willing to come to you im 25 hispanic amle and email me for pics
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Wow, nothing says class and style like "hey babe" so I guess were dating already?? It's nice to know that your willing to drive all this way for me though. Ummmm.... Not really sure what we could "chat about" maybee if you had said somthing more interesting I would be more interested in you.
Letter -----------------------------------
Hi Michelle. I'm *****. I live in ******. I go to S4 everynow and then too. I would love to meet you maybe have some drinks or a bite to eat and get to know one another. I'm a white male 5'10 150lbs short brown hair and green eyes and I'm 32.
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Why do all of you guys always tell me your height and weight and age??? I'm more interested in if you have a PERSONALITY than how tall you are. I sure wish you could read my ad and figure out by looking in the mirror if your what I'm attracted to. Oh thats right I said, Honest, kind, hopefully rich but able to take care of yourself. Glad your paying attention. This one actually is not to bad. He did offer to meet me someplace I like and at least try to get to know me. To bad he never showed up, thats right ladies, he never showed.
Letter -----------------------------------
was up sweetheart i will take any way i can i would love to meet you i am also looking for a relationship what you think remember i like to give and recieve
My Thoughts -----------------------------
This guy is such a complete moron I can barely comment. Only my closest freinds call me sweetheart, or any other term of endearment. Have you ever actually seen or spoken to a living breathing woman? Your porno colection does not count. No woman likes to be talked to like this, it's degrading. Go back to school and don't drop out this time.
Letter -----------------------------------
hi , im a 33yo married guy in *****,tx<45 minutes from *****> seeking a girlfriend...u look hotter than any woman i've ever seen!.
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Gee let me see ...Be a home wreaker or your side dish. Way to make a girl feel cheap. I'm sure glad your maraige is not working out, if you stop cheating on her it just might survive. I'll admit I liked your honesty. Letting me know I'll never be anyting but a peice of ass to you is refreshing. Too bad you never sent a photo or let me know how well taken care of I would be as your prostitute.
Letter -----------------------------------
white male 40 6ft 190 muscular exec coming into ****** late jan for 5 days
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Again with the vitals?? Why don't you dummies ever include how big your equipment is?? If I'm supposed to just drop everything and come running I might like to know a few things first, like your NAME!! I'll just clear my schedule for the month since you are to stupid to actually know WHEN you're going to be here. I work with executives, not many are this clueless.
Letter -----------------------------------
hi michelle, my names *****, im so interested in you, i can sweep you off your feet baby write me back..
My Thoughts -----------------------------
Golly I'm so flatered by how you will "sweep me off my feet"??? I can tell you want me bad by how little you wrote. You already blew your chance to sweep me of my feet with this icky note.
Letter -----------------------------------
hey there sexy .. would love to see that sexy ass up close and personal...drop me a line and lets get something started .... we could have some real fun ..hope to hear from you soon
My Thoughts -----------------------------
My name is Michelle, not sexy. So I guess it says I'm a hooker somewhere since you talk like I am. Just exactly what are we going to get started?? I just love being a peice of meat.... What kind of "real" fun?? Is that better than "fake" fun?? Stop using song lyrics for inspiration. Areosmith has made a fourtune becasue THEY are GOOD at it. You are not.
As always the little perl is on it's way. These are just a few examples of why I brush you off, or refuse to talk to you. When you saunter up to me and lay this kind of trash out what does it say about you? Nothing good. Guys if you really want to be with us, and trust me we WANT to be with you. Do somthing creative, be the guy that stands out. I'm displaying your mistakes so you won't make them anymore.
The one thing I fear is that there are a bunch of idiots out there who will read these and actually think their good and send them to some poor girl.
I certainly hope that is not the case and if it is I'm really sorry!!
Just remember You're so Hot!!
[2 comments]
All About Me
Vektra March 4th, 2008 3:46 pm MSTWhat I AmI am a 29 year old shemale. Yes, shemale. I am NOT a t-girl in the sense that I don't view sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) as "the Final Surgery". It's not the reason for my existence, and I don't understand why so many transgirls view it as the ultimate status symbol. I enjoy having a penis. Too many girls out there that have vaginas anyway. As long as I can pass in a bulletproof manner as a female (at least while clothed), I'm happy.Other than that, I am who I am. From the way I cry at sappy movies, to the way I enjoy purse shopping and painting my toes, to how I think, act, and sound, I sometimes feel, act, and appear completely feminine. Other times, I enjoy action movies, talking about cars, or watching football.I'm caucasian, 5 foot 10 (out of heels), and about 150-160 pounds. In June of 2007 I had my bilateral orchiectomy (castration). I started laser hair removal on the face in July (completed in January and happy with the results). August began my voyage into hormones and I began dressing in public at that time. I have been practicing my voice since March of 2007, and started using it full time in August as well.Work was awkward at first, and most people viewed me as some psycho gay male, but eventually most caught on and I went full time as of November 1, 2007. I had my name change in the middle of January 2008, and am now looking forward to my Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) coming up on April 3rd!Who I AmI am Vektra! My name was taken from a name I created years ago for my use in online gaming communities. (I'm a computer nerd... what can I say?) When it came time to find a feminine name, I despised all the feminizations of my 'boy' name, and decided to go for it. So now I'm legally Vektra, and I love it. It's enigmatic, vaguely feminine, and yet exotic enough to be completely different. Like Cher or Shakira. MmmmmROWL!I'm usally a quiet person, an introvert, I guess, but not a recluse by any means. I have few friends, but what I lack in quantity is made up in quality. I can do just fine in social situations, but I don't enjoy the bar scene at all. I don't ever smoke. If it's a special occasion, I have been known to drink. Otherwise, I don't like it. I have never used drugs. (Aside from hormones.)What I WantIn essence, to look in the mirror and be turned on. I'm attracted to the feminine form, but I've found I can love anyone. Sexually though, guys just don't do it for me. Sorry. I want to be smoking hot. My friends all ask me why I've decided to have FFS done, when I can pass so well as a female already. The reason is my purpose to live. What use is life if you never reach for your dreams? When surgeons can take a non-passable girl and make her pretty, and then a cute one and make her phenomenally gorgeous... I just couldn't say no to such a prospect.For everything but what might be found between my legs, I want to be authentically female. Of course, I realize the limitations. I WAS a guy for 28 years, after all, and I can't change what testosterone has done to my frame, muscles, and voice. I don't regret it. It made me nice and tall, and the person I was still has good qualities and worthwhile memories. Would I be happier having started hormones at age 8, well hell yes. But while the best time to plant an oak tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is right now.As for my goals, beyond FFS coming up in a few weeks, I hope to go back to school for pharmacy (which will be extremely expensive). But that's merely a vehicle to fund my true dream: being really, really huge! You know what I mean. Breasts! I'm all about them. I have an extreme fetish for the hyper-inflated porn-starlets that carry around those beachball-sized boobs on their chests. That's what I want to be! Well, not a porn star... but top heavy. If you want a mental picture of what I'm talking about, check out www.sabrinasabrok.com, a woman who I idolize.I'm having breast augmentation done with my FFS, and the doctors can do up to a maximum size of 600 cc implants (due to their moral compunctions) but I plan on going much, much larger. 4000 cc is my ultimate goal. (For size reference, 3800 cc is one gallon. So imagine 2 gallons of milk attached to your chest... or if you prefer, my chest, with you enjoying them!)It's completely rediculous, I know. Highly impractical, I realize. Physically limiting, I am aware. I know I will have social problems. I'll have trouble being taken seriously at job interviews and will collect more than a few stares in public. I will have to custom tailor clothing. I might develop back problems if I fail to work out. All of that... I don't care. This is my dream, and my dream alone. It is the reason I chose to pursue transition, and the goal of my life. I have only one chance to do what I want in this world, and this is what I want. More than anything.So if you're okay with all of that, we should chat. I love meeting new people, and I AM interested in finding a partner to share my life with, be it male, female, or in-betweenie. (However, males are at a disadvantage to begin with. Sorry, but that's the way it is.) But whichever the flavor, I'm looking for a strong person, fearless to the core. Not in a destructively suicidal manner, but a truly apathetic view on others' opinions. I don't give a shit what others think of me, and I'm not ashamed of who I am. I would want my partner to be equally proud of their own selves.What I EnjoyIntelligent conversation. Cuddling in the nude. Powerful personalities. Courage at all times. Willpower beyond measure. Showers of affection. Honesty in all things. An hourglass figure.As for the banalities... Movies : anything action oriented or fantasy/sci-fi genre. LotR, the Matrixes, Star Wars, Saving Private Ryan, Aliens, Terminator, Predator, Black Hawk Down, Equilibrium, <insert all other action flicks here>.Music : Rock, mostly. Lots of techno as well. Basically anything that isn't Rap or Country. Sorry, I just can't hang with that crap in my ear. Evanescence, Type O Negative, Paul Oakenfold, Rammstein, Pearl Jam, Tool, Lynard Skynard, anything 80s, etc.Books : I don't read often, but I enjoy mostly non-fiction. Self-help books, empowering type material. Stories of other transsexuals and the balls they brought to the table to stand up and... umm... well, have their balls removed. :) Like I always say, "It takes balls to cut off your balls."Hobbies : Computer gaming, mostly. I play World of Warcraft. Lame, I know, but all my friends are there. I like first person shooters as well. I LOVE Rock Band, and play the snot out of that. I also love to draw and write. For the physical stuff... I enjoy paintballing, bowling, golf once in a while, riding bike, playing in the waves at the beach on red flag days, trampolines, go-karts, the sound of a 440 on open headers at the 1/4 mile, fishing, camping, and others I can't think of right now.. Turn-OffsKids. (Sorry, but I don't want children. Never have, never will.) Smoking, drugs, or alchohol. (Chemical dependencies are for weak people.) Wimps, whiners, and liars. The word "can't" or "fair". (Neither exist.) Cynicism, financial carelessness, anyone in "the closet", female drama, stealth T-girls. (Hey, I understand wanting to fit in and the comfort of anonymity, but come on, you were born as a male, stop lying to yourself.) Body hair or testicles... eww.That's it for now. If I haven't completely disgusted you or scared you off, we should chat some time! Drop me a line, if you like. I love meeting new people.[Comment on this post]
It must be love
Michelle Hart February 29th, 2008 4:20 pm MSTBut what is love? is it attraction, desire, heart stopping need? Is it the comfort of chocolate chip cookies and warm milk? Is it having someone you can call at 3am to bail you out of jail or is it the flowers you got on valentines day? All of us have a definition but some things are universal.
Love is the feeling inside you that overwhelms your senses. It captivates you and brings you unending joy. It is a peaceful brook or a calm meadow. The storm of passion, the fire in your eyes. That smoldering desire to hold someone close. In their absence you feel sorrow and pain. Your heart races when you hear their name, they are the candle that carries your flame. so subtle so muted always present within your mind. Those fond memories of forgotten times.
I love the color pink, in all its varied shades. Fuchsia, baby, hot, soft, bubblegum and on and on. Pink excites me. it fills a void, a need I have. It makes me a woman, a girl who is soft and feminine. I am gentle and tender, as many of you know I'm quite sweet. I care deeply about my sisters here perhaps more than some yet much less than others. Each of my columns has a purpose, a point. Droll on occasion, yet always written with love for you my sisters.
We are a special breed, unique in flavor. our dimensions are infinite but our tastes so similar. Big hair for some white lace for others. Our makeup done our purses ready. The clack of our heels echo in unison. A coy giggle, with the flip of long blond hair. With our long red talons, buyer beware. Red satin sheets upon our bed. To join us there you must first get in our head.
What is it you love? do you know or are you in love with love. You seek out others who like yourself love feminine traits, is it our mannerisms, or our grace. The delicate movement of girls like us. We live in a world of color with such varied hues.
Why do you love us? Do you not have no outlet, is your world devoid of color so bleak it stifles you. You lie awake at night do you choke on the darkness. As you stroll through life do you miss the ruffles of a filmy white blouse, the subtle round silhouette of a ever so tight skirt. Your eyes strain at the sea of denim and sweatshirts that assault your senses. Do you long for a time when a girl proudly donned her poodle skirt and bobby socks.
As amazing as it may seem that is why your here. You love the feminine image. You so love it so much that you came here to seek us out. You curious reader, Love us. More than you can admit. It causes you shame and you feel dirty when you admit the truth. It causes you pain so you lie to yourself. We know what you do as you sit there alone, staring at our photos causing yourself to moan.
As I ramble about what each of us considers an ideal of love, a goal post of desire. I'm struck by why so many are fearful of love. They dread and loathe their desire to love. They betray themselves and insult those they cherish. Some may read this missive and think me daft, perhaps assuming I speak for them; but do I. Is it no less sincere to define that which you seek. In an effort to attain it to posses it outright and without malice. You want to possess us, to have us, to enthrall us with your wit. Yet you tread so timidly. Your insecurity betrays your every word.
You have so little to say about yourself but you love us. You struggle to describe your need for us but you love us. You dread being found out for loving us. You sit with rapt attention in the hopes that we will succumb to your advance. Yet your attempt is so frail. Are you so fragile that only those who brave ridicule and humiliation can give you strength. Girls can be so cruel sometimes and I am going to be cruel.
I do this with love, I will defame you and humiliate you, chide you, and abuse you. Why? Because I love you too. I know you love me, why else would you stare at my picture. I know you think of me and imagine our conversations. It plays in your mind like a phonograph, you conquer me in your dreams, you stare at your monitor and imagine what we will do together. Sadly it will never happen, you have no courage nor ability to draw my attention. Your so utterly clueless, you don't even know how to say hello. Civility is lost on you. you hide in your basement pretending to talk to me but never do.
Every attempt you make is taken from a playbook that has never worked. You imagine your self as Don Juan yet you speak like Tiny Tim. You profess a desire that is so phony and far fetched. It shows you've read to many comic books. Which I do love. I can also tell you why, yet you can not. My digital personality is no different from my physical one. You have no personality. A meager dilitant on the grand stage.
You have few friends if any, and hide behind a wall of shame. You are so ashamed to love me, so full of wretched disdain for wanting me. I embarrass you because I captivate you. I easily capture your attention but you do so little to keep mine. I pity your soul because you are afraid to love me. You falsely assume that I will love you back. I love the attention of a real man, not you little trolls. Oh I trust in your desire, just nothing more.
No gentleman presumes a lady is his. He seduces her with wit and charm. He will court her and regale her with his stories of adventure, with the hope of making her blush. His manner is apparent he need not state his intent. He knows a lady will accept his advances. His personality will make her swoon, it will make her lust, it will make her his to possess. I regret that you lack all the aforementioned. I am sad, I really am. You see real men love themselves first. Without that they can never love me.
With all the hate you feel and contempt for your own shortcomings is it any wonder why you sit alone. Hiding from your desire, infatuated by a fantasy. You see my dear you can never love me. You are far to busy despising me for what I make you feel inside. Consumed by fear of what others may think you hide in the shadows, you have no profile you have no name. A life filled by abject shame. You want me so badly you will claim anything, sweet little lies are just part of your game.
Your rich, your famous, you know lots of people. I know you love me and every girl here, just not in the light of day, lest you be thought queer. Your love is so vast that we need to make haste. Your wife will be home soon or you have a another date. You love me isn't it obvious, you've said it so many times before. When shall we meet and in which dark alleyway. I am just a plaything your amusement your shamful folly. Anytime any place as long as your friends don't find out. You'll do anything to prove your love for me is real. As long as there is no witness, no trace nor tracks to point out your wickedness.
why not write me a letter with more than four words, dazzle me with your seductive prose. Tell me why you fancy me so. That's far to much of me to ask of you, I know...
I should not expect anything from you, you love me and that is all. You twist yourself into a knot, the desire for me makes you so hot. I excite you in ways no woman can but the self loathing was not part of your plan. I know you don't want to hate yourself more but being a coward evens the score. You always have an excuse a preplanned lie. You didn't have time, you just don't know why.
You are a house of glass with no depth. I can see right through you, you have no color or hue. Alas I have my color and it is true. Do you know what it is, do you even remember do you even care. You love me but you don't know the answer you have to go look quickly to avoid my wrath. I already know you have forgotten.
It's OK, really. It must be love....
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