URNotAlone

Going to Spain to find myself?

June 3rd, 2008 8:28 pm MDT

Here I am packing my things and in a few short days I will be on a plane back to Europe again to spend 10 days in Spain; go to my friends wedding and visit Madrid.  I'm leaving a lot of things in the US - my job, my family and my former identity.  I am wondering what I will miss and whether I will have time to make any decisions while I'm away. I guess I won't miss my job; it will be here when I get back (hopefully) and they know all about me anyway and don't care either way. I might miss my family.  We're not exactly close these days and we are trying to make plans for some serious changes anyway.  We know that we can't go on like we are.  I'll probably miss them if I think about it too long.  It will be the hardest thing to accept because I will have to leave my best friends one day soon and start on my own again. My "old" self is kind of losing out on a daily basis anyway.  There is less and less of that around and I'm looking forward to being able to leave it all behind me for ten days.  Especially in a place where I don't have to worry about any phone calls, surprise visits, only a few dozen people who know me already and a lot more who don't care! I need to make a commitment to my future at this point and I know that the only way to do this is to do it directly and with confidence.  I want to be able to come home in a couple of weeks time and know exactly what I have to do, but at least, I need to be able to come back and be prepared to make a few more sacrifices before I can move on. Also, I'm hoping to have a little fun!