URNotAlone

July 12 2008

July 14th, 2008 2:22 pm MST

July 12 2008
So i got my passport in and it looks great. I also got a credit card and i already bought something with it on line. My limit is 500$ which is good. I need to build some credit so this is a good way to do it. However as soon as my statement comes in to pay for it, im going to pay it right away.
Also i finished reading this great book called The Secret its like a self help book but better. So im learning not to have negative thoughts because what ever i think which turns into a thought goes out. Anyone who reads it will be more thoughtful when thinking thoughts.
My brother is sorta homeless i feel bad for him but he needs to relize set plans before its to late. And he thinks renting a room you get everything included which is untrue. Some place's you rent a room thats all your rent. Anywho hes got some places in mind so i hope he gets something soon.
Im very excited about going shopping in the US this Augest. Also i have heard back from the Dr about going to the Centre For Addiction & Mentle Health for my assessment in September. Now just waiting to find out when that month. Also going to take an art course in probably mid winter, a night course so im excited about that.
Diva is doing really well i really want the medication to work so she stops tinkling. I love her to bits shes done alot for me. Shes gotton bigger and shes now 16 pounds but shes a healthy 16 pounds.
I'm still really werided out by guys. I think because i don't have a sex drive anymore and that i don't want anyone touching me down there has just made me not want a guy at all. I mean i want a relationship but i want one as a female compleated not the way i am now because i know those types of guys that like pre-op's like the dick factor and i just can't stand to be with someone like that. It's funny i never thought id be like that the way i am now and i so am. I don't even like talking to people like that who like that. It's so funny but iv changed in the way i think. I used to think i like having a (penis) its fine i find enjoyment out of it and so on. And now i can't wait till its gone. Is it that i want better for my self, I want to be treated better. I can't even be bothered in talking to men that want sex. And i think its because im done with that side of my self and or side of that life. It's lonely when guys can't take you out in public or they have to much going on or or or. I'm glad i have my dog im not as lonely anymore, though id like to meet someone that has the same things in life that want the same things and that loves pets.
Im going for my last lazer treatment this month on my lip which is great. And then probaly in September i'll start under my chin and finish off my face.
Im taking each day at a time. Thats all i can do right.
Positive thoughts and thinking and loving. Lana