Ellie Ferch Amser
"exploring"
Journal Entries for Ellie Ferch Amser
A brief note
August 7th, 2008 4:13 pm MDT
It has been a busy life lately, and that has kept me from making any entries or even looking about much. This too is a brief interlude. Tomorrow I get shoulder surgery, good in the long run, nothing to look forward to in the short run. The pain is no problem, for reasons I might get into eventually. Drugs? I'm a child of the 60s, I'm OK with the drugs. The idea of possibly spending 24 hours with the dry heaves does not appeal at all: not ladylike. Then there's the several weeks of being able to do almost nothing with the affected limb. That is awkward. However, when I can punch keys and shove a mouse about, I shall return.
How unsporting!
July 18th, 2008 6:33 pm MDT
We can't post entries to our own guestbooks! I suppose there's a critical mass of folk whose vanity would carry them away, and entice them into offering fulsome praise to themselves. They're spoilsports: what about those of us who would take the opportunity to make their self-criticism a global affair? I'm waiting for more news on a store I just heard of. All it needs to get my business are corsets that are attractive, authoritative, and reasonably priced. Not like I want much.
A random request...and an observation
July 12th, 2008 8:54 am MDT
First the request. I'd be interested in hearing from anyone north of Boston or downtown who can recommend someplace trans-friendly (for lack of a better term) to get one's hair cut. This business of going to the usual salon and getting a "guy with long hair" cut (no matter what you ask for) is getting frustrating. At this rate, someday I'll walk out with a mullet ;) Odd how few of us wear our own hair, unless committed to transitioning. The observation. I saw a local woman this morning who frequently dresses in a male kilt, hose, man's shirt and tie. The double standard that endorses women in male clothing can be a nuisance. On the other hand, I've swapped messages with some other androgynous folk and it's true that this double standard is very enabling for us. It did strike me the other day that it can be rather "Victor-Victoria" in reverse. Instead of a woman* dressing like a man dressing like a woman, one may be a man dressing like a woman dressing like a man. Still, it would be nice to have enough latitude to go out shopping in a cool linen skirt on a day like this. *All terms in this statement refer to birth gender for convenience's sake
Double yaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 10th, 2008 4:29 pm MDT
Oh, those two scary digits! Still, I feel OK, I like my exploration, and life in general could be (and has been) much worse. Thank you all for the birthday wishes and nice comments: they are most encouraging.
Yaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 8th, 2008 7:00 pm MDT
Tonight seems to be the attack of the HTML monsters here. I would not mind this normally, except that I've been on a rush job the past couple of days in which these beasties figured prominently. Worse, they won! I'm a little too old to go cry in the corner at the sight of more script, but it is soo tempting. Wavering toward that top level membership so I can spew out my own script in weak moments.
Sound familiar?
June 27th, 2008 6:01 pm MDT
What makes the memory of past purges even more regrettable is knowing that, today, one could probably not get into most of the things one threw out. Except the shoes: I really miss some of the shoes.
Body Anxiety
June 24th, 2008 5:06 pm MDT
If I succumbed to poor body image, I'd succumb, period. I read someone's profile the other night and she was a touch concerned about long arms. Not my problem, dears. However, I have a ridiculously large head: bet you didn't know such a thing as a size 7 7/8 hat even existed! Kinder people suggest that such a large head must have something in it. You can guess what the less kind think.It does make wigs a serious challenge. A total custom job is out of range: most of the really nice ones stop several sizes short of my reality. I make do with cosplay wigs with nearly infinitely adjustable wig caps, or my own head of hair, creatively managed,
Connecting
June 22nd, 2008 6:16 pm MDT
Joanna suggests that journal entries are likely to be a better way to interact than the chat room. That's good on two levels. First is that I need little encouragement to stay out of chat rooms, for reasons I've already mentioned. Second, when one does journals, blogs and the like, one feels that one is talking to oneself sometimes. It's nice to know other people are reading.I'm already too prone to talking to myself, and it's not age: I've always done it. Now I've found a new way to make that habit useful. The first way has been to play my language CDs while driving, which entails a certain amount of backchat with the speaker. The new way, now that I've been reading up on developing a more feminine voice, is to practice that in the car. Tenors have certain advantages in this task. Our natural voice range overlaps the female alto range. This means one has to concentrate mainly on using the upper registers of one's own voice. It's a first step of course, since the question of vocal timbre is much harder to tackle. Still, I'd hate to be a bass and doing this.
Great Marketing, Ladies
June 21st, 2008 1:42 pm MDT
As the profile says, I'm exploring, in part to decide if I want to move up a membership notch. The tea leaves aren't all that encouraging so far. I've made a few civil comments as I've browsed, with little response and none nearby. OK, so one can pursue that a bit more. Last night, I slipped into the chat lobby for my first extended observation. Not good. In the first place, despite the presence of 40 some-odd people, at least half members, not ONE thought to say hello to a newcomer. I've seen this before, not just in chat rooms. It is like herding cats to get any group of sexually different people to take notice of newcomers, much less welcome them with friendly courtesy. In my surfing, I noticed one group where this sort of civility is a requirement. Seems worth looking into. In the second, I hadn't been in the room five minutes when someone entered the room with a breezy greeting, only to be slapped down by a self-important bitch with an overnourished sense of entitlement, The slapper had, until the greeting, been very busy trying to control the conversation. See? You learn a lot when you listen instead of talking. What I learned was that URNA chat is far too much like chat nearly anywhere else. Should there be any owners or mod-types reading, you might want to work a bit harder at making new people welcome. Many of us are hesitant and shy enough without being shown the door by some chat room queen the minute we step inside. Is that how we act at clubs, too? A lot of people like to speak of sexually different groups as "communities." The biological reality is that this community needs people to feel comfortable enough to join, and welcome once they do. Otherwise, it has no future.
Beginning
June 18th, 2008 7:33 pm MDT
Five days on. As usual, I'm a wallflower or, if you prefer, a being carefully sizing up a new territory. Good things: It's encouraging to see the number of girls who are carving out their own appearance. The glam shoot idea still intrigues me and I don't think that's a contradiction. What I want to work on is posting some pictures that are more my everyday self, with my own slowly-grown out hair. Wigs are way too hot in summer! Not-so-good things: labels!! I switched one of my first choices because it struck me that "bisexual" gave tranny chasers too much encouragement. Anyway, I'm as picky about male attractiveness as I am self-critical. Just hard to please, I guess ;)
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
Page generated in 0.34 seconds
