Journal Entries for Kelli M
Education of Culture
December 9th, 2010 4:14 pm MST
We speak of discrimination insofar as referencing some mainstays of society found in race relations, home ownership, hiring practices and perceptions of social status. Moreover, we collectively admonish those adopting such outdated notions.
Over generations, we’ve been enlightened toward cultures and peoples not readily familiar to us; and, as a result, eyes are opened relative to one’s productive abilities, familial proclivities and vibrancy of dance, cuisine, faith, language, work ethic and generosity.
A simple lack of knowledge — ignorance — is the closed door to expanded breadth and awareness of community. Unfortunately, much is attributed to time-tested feelings of vulnerability that stem from the uneasiness of being uncomfortable. Perhaps acting as natural defense mechanisms, many are quick to either dismiss as “wrong” or deride for the purpose of self-preservation when encountering someone (or something) new or differing from an intangible set of boundaries. Mocking others is the apparent tonic for making ourselves feel better.
This, partly, is what Irish and Italian immigrants, those physically challenged, and American-born women endured. Once upon very different times, the aforementioned and many others were viewed through negative lenses, based upon … what, exactly? An immigrant, for example, has no “official” track record for others to draw from. Essentially, they’re strangers. Opinions — and worst of all — conclusions toward them were unfounded, wholly preposterous, and rooted in unabating fear of the unknown. That “fear” breeds discomfort and a sense of lacking social control. In battling these phantom fears, unfamiliar peoples were blatantly denigrated, blacklisted regarding employment and housing, and otherwise deemed unseemly.
Through time, of course, these and other silly appraisals diminished by way of eventual openness to experiences and interactions beyond personal, cemented borders. Social enlightenment only advances a community, a family … an individual.
Naturally, there is a difference between awareness and likability. Think soccer. Espouse indifference, become physically ill from its mere mentioning or love it fanatically. We recognize it as a component of world culture while acknowledging there are no requirements relative to embracing or loathing it.
From the above-mentioned example, remove “soccer” and replace it with “transgendered persons”. Generally speaking, the same principles apply, in addition to those concerning our Irish and Italian ancestors. Matter of factly, imagine the varieties of food that you wouldn’t experience in adulthood given the assuring, predictable cereal-candy-soda-donut regimen of your childhood. Alas, your tastes (forgive the pun) expanded through purposeful curiosity (“That looks yummy“) and unassuming circumstances (“It’s part of the meal; might as well try it”).
Never limit yourself in terms of life’s offerings, including the people comprising it. As creatures of comfort, reaction to anyone or thing foreign is nearly an unconscious and reflexive motion in pulling back, attempting to examine in search of something recognizable and often serving a premature judgment from snapshot-in-time analyses.
Instant finality is more expeditious than methodically learning about and discovering all that is new, fresh, curious, varying, puzzling and the like. It also allows for a mental vacuum to be occupied with aged, misguided stereotypes at the hands of peers and trusted adults. Let us all agree that absolutely no single person is born harboring any semblance of negativity in the way of bigotry, racism and otherwise baseless judgments.
Life is not to be simply lived. It’s foundations, pleasures, curves, priorities, nuances, rewards, peaks, challenges and little surprises are derived from experiences.
Dare to know those whom you’ve observed from safe distances; harness your inner spark in gaining exposure to varied creativity; attempt that which you’ve merely considered; engage a soul not like your own, and learn from their perspectives toward better rounding your own daily navigations.
We’re all unique, but not so different.
Still Battling Ignorance
November 7th, 2010 1:48 pm MST
In our modern world — laced with diversity of culture in food, dress, religion, heritage and artistic endeavors — it seems nearly out of place and plainly questionable regarding the negatively-charged perceptions toward transgendered persons. A dichotomy exists whereby our societal differences of thought and presentation are encouraged. Yet, for the number of times one says or hears, ”It's a free country,“ there are countless instances of condescension and outright dismissal concerning those who are transgendered.
Moreover, many are quick to place judgment through open ignorance, acknowledging any lack of exposure to — or wherewithal of — the transgendered community overall. Largely, this is attributed to a long-held notion of harboring suspicion toward anyone who is remotely considered ‘different.’ Often, that perceived difference — through a sense of newness and subsequent inability to control one’s immediate world — gives way to feelings of insecurity in very self-absorbed ways. Such myopic approaches are never predicated upon rational thought.
“What a disgusting and immoral lifestyle.”
Many communities (transgendered included) tend to present some form of stereotype; although, with constant evolutions of culture, we typically dismiss outdated perceptions because they’re simply not socially relevant. For example, contrary to common thought, the majority of individuals under the transgendered umbrella are not flamboyant show girls nor psychologically confused or challenged. Additionally, generating income through gainful employment, electoral voting, and grounded relationships are mainstays of transmen and transwomen alike. If those are disgusting qualities, perhaps our collective world requires a resetting of sorts.
“... just a bunch of weirdo faggots.”
Misconceptions present an easy road for summarizing any given grouping of people. The separating factor is evident when we eliminate mental laziness: taking simple steps toward learning about others who may espouse different, conflicting or seemingly unusual characteristics in their life approaches. The word, “transgendered,” is merely a referencing adjective that is no different from descriptives as blonde, conservative, tall, Protestant or healthy. Various words can shape a thumbnail sketch of us without comprehensively defining who any of us are.
A climate of active learning only reveals a greater depth and appreciation for each’s unique qualities while eroding irrational fears and suppositions. The world is increasingly smaller and its methods for connecting everyone are always expanding. This is notable in easily recognizing that we’re all neighbors in some fashion and the paths we forge inevitably intersect. A bit of added knowledge about our immediate and widespread communities adds substance and breadth for each of us... and all of us.
Unchecked ignorance and the perpetuation of misguided opinions play themselves outward each year in the form of bewildering, hate-inspired violence toward unassuming, law-abiding people within local communities on a national scale. In Columbus, the annual recognition of transgendered victims is November 18th at King Avenue United Methodist Church, which is non-denominational (feel free to contact me regarding details or see bravo-ohio.org for details).
Passable?
July 29th, 2010 1:07 pm MDT
The word, alone, presents a whirlwind of thought --- usually infested with anxiety and intense self-awareness. Consider the query, "Are you passable?" It really asks if you're of an 'acceptable' nature ... to someone else.
Why, ladies, is this permitted to persist? Why are so many of us concerned, if not outright worried, over another's opinions and conclusions? More often than not, the thought patterns of someone else will be largely unchanged, regardless of response to such a ridiculous question.
Further, it implies that if someone is not "into" you per your appearance, you're not, therefore, considered good enough for that person, in whatever capacity.
Throw the word aside. If not, use it to your benefit. Ask yourself, "Do I look alright? Am I really so unusual, despicable, laughable ... ugly?" Liking yourself is the key to any semblance of advancing yourself vis-a-vis the public eye.
Nothing is more valuable, upon leaving your home, than sheer confidence. Looking like 'a million bucks' means little if you're checking over your shoulder or attempting to hear perceived whispers of those nearby. Carry yourself with pride --- not as a member of the LGBT community --- as a member of Your City, USA. Present yourself not unlike others. Go about your life with a sense of ownership and purpose. It's very much a good thing to simply be the gal you are.
Moreover, I never claim to be all-passable all of the time. Every now and then, it's easy detecting someone who may perceive a certain 'differing' element to the person I am. That's fine. Years ago, that would have been a death blow to my psyche ... and the remainder of my day. Plainly, I do what anyone can only do: I make it a point to be the best gal I feasibly can, in demeanor as well as appearance. Certainly, I care about my 'look'; however, I am wholly aware of what I am given with which to present that look. I just do my absolute mightiest to put that best possible foot forward and take on the day.
The notion of being 'passable' is generally of no concern in that I do not --- and never will --- live this life for another. This is the person I am. These are the raw ingredients I am born with. Let's go to work. Alas, the morning routine ...
When I walk into Starbucks for the morning fuel, it's done as if I own the place. When greeted with smiles by numerous staffers and daily patrons, it's due to the presence of that sense of self that is sorely needed and too often swiped to the floor by the ill-informed. Conversely, entering a room or building with a timid, light-footed aura only blasts a searchlight upon yourself. Be natural. Be you. Never give someone a reason for engaging in the extra two-second stare. (If someone does such a classless thing, find it within yourself to wink at them. They'll never look your way again in being too preoccupied with removing the proverbial egg and flushness from their myopic face.)
Allow yourself to flourish, experience life's joys, and evolve. When meeting or encountering a new person, hold standards highly and expect nothing less but respect. You're not a tranny, shemale, tgirl or whatever adult industry-driven moniker is used ... and don't ever allow someone to get away with using such awful language. Remember --- you work, pay taxes, and are otherwise an equal member of your city or town.
You're a person. Be hated for who you are instead of loved for what some believe you to be. Like yourself, put forth effort, and evolve smoothly in the face of anyone espousing otherwise.
Gals, you're fine. Let others 'worry' about you.
Go forth ... now.
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