Journal Entries for Tarra
New gene responsible for transsexualism
December 25th, 2008 8:29 pm MST
I found this online today and thought I would share this with everyone. According to scientists in Australia, they have uncovered another part of the human DNA that is responsible for transsexual behavior. "Vincent Harley, of Prince Henry's Institute in Melbourne, said his team's study of 112 Australian and American male-to-female transsexuals found they were more likely to have a genetic variation in a gene that could lead to a feminisation of the brain during early development." What I think is the best about this news is soon doctors can decide a babies gender by a DNA test instead of looking between the legs!! you can check out the article I found HERE.
Christmas
December 25th, 2008 8:27 pm MST
My Christmas was the best! I was able to spent it with my Dad, I haven't had a Christmas with my Dad in almost 10 years! My Wife, Dad, my soon to be Mom, and myself played the Wii until we ran all the batteries dead...hehehe!! We ate duck, the first time for me (it was actually very good), mash potatoes, and the like. My Wife and I got gift cards to AMC Theaters, Papa Johns, Applebee's, and Regal Cinema's... so thats a couple dinner and movie dates! Also, on my birthday, all of us (dad, wife, mom, and I) are going to Epcot at Disney World!! Can't wait! My (bio) mom is also sending me a digital camera so I will be taking plenty of new pics and posting them soon!! I hope that everyone else had a wonderful Christmas!
Update so far
December 24th, 2008 9:36 am MST
When I told my dad about me being transsexual he was absolutely supportive of it! I truely am blessed to have a dad like him. I have been on my hormone regimen now for 3 months with no slip ups. I have started dressing full time now... I no longer have any of my boy clothes anymore. I recently moved from clermont, fl to saint petersburg, fl. I got a job working as an assembler at florida's pool products making boo-koo bucks... I will now be making enough money to save for my orchiectomy surgery. Oh, my dad has started using female pronouns with me, calling me her and she instead of those dreadful male pronouns!! My mom and sister who live in anchorage, ak sent me my christmas and bday gift in one... it was a Walt Disney World birthday package. So, on january 8th (my bday) my dad, my soon to be step mom, my wife, and I are all going to Epcot! Can't wait for that day, its going to be so much fun!! My mom is sending me her old digital kodak camera for christmas/bday so I can get into my photography hobby. Thank you mom! I just hope it gets here before my Disney/Bday celebration so I can have some wonderful pic's to share! My wife and I are still abit unsure on what to do for new years as there is so much to see and do here... but we are leaning toward attending the new years ball at Georgie's Alibi in st. pete. Anyways, as you can see I am having a great time and a wonderful life!!!! Till next time, Tarra
My story
December 22nd, 2008 5:10 pm MST
my story starts with my very first memory in life... when i was about 5 years old, my family lived on an airforce base (elmendorf, ak). around the time when we were still in the middle of unpacking our stuff, when i was alone in the upstairs bedroom, i got down on my knees looking out the window and pleaded with god to make me a girl. being only 5 years old i believed that if i prayed hard enough that god would change me and one day i would wake up as a girl. i waited for many years for god to respond to grant my wish, keeping my need to change to only myself. eventually, after so many long years, i was hidding my need so well that eventually the feelings i had, felt like they disappeared. so, all through my middle and high school days my need to be female was gone. or so i thought... around the time after high school was over and my high school sweet heart and i was living together, she commented one day, "i love you so much because your not so macho man, its like im in love with a woman in a mans body." of course it was ment as a joke but when she saw i wasnt laughing she asked, "did i say something wrong?" that comment made all those repressed memories come up to the surface. i didnt know what to say... i was speechless and scared. i needed to find a way to push those bad feelings back again. so, believe it or not, i joined the army. i was back to being so busy again that i thought i succeeded in killing those needs until things started to slow down again. this time those repressed feelings came back with a vengence. it was so strong and i felt so hopeless and scared i didnt know what these feelings where or what to do. i was at the end of my rope. thats when my darkest day in my life came... i attempted suicide! i am so glad that i had carring friends living with me. after surviving my darkest day in my life i realised i had to find answers on my own. at this time in my life i was back in my hometown and in anchorage, ak. there is no one there at all that has the expertise to help or give acurate information. so, the internet became my best friend for a couple years. i studied, learned, and discovered what it was i was feeling. by the time i felt like i was done with my 2 year self discovery, i got married. my wife is the most supportive and loving person on this planet. if it wasnt for her i wouldnt be here, as more than likely i would of attempted again. when i was 25 years old, i made the hard desicion to "come out of the closet" with friends and family. all of my friends and my sister are 100% behind me. my mom on the other hand wasnt support at all at first. i love my mom so much and all i wanted was her trust and acceptance. i wanted to be accepted so bad that since i saw my mom wrecked about this news i stopped what i was doing and lived as her son for many years. i love her so much that i allowed myself to be pushed back in the closet by her. what about my dad? well, lets just say that i am so scarred to even tell him because i dont want to be pushed away like my mom did (my mom and dad divorced a couple years ago). all i want is to be accepted for who i am... to have the love and support of my family and to finally get my transition back on track. i moved to clermont, fl about three months ago to be closer to my dad (as my mom is in alaska) and the time has finally come to let my dad in on my life long deepest secret. will he accept me for me? or push me away?
