Journal Entries for Ashley Lynn
Another Day of Questioning
January 1st, 2009 8:53 pm MST
Here I am again today questioning my innate desire to dress. I replied to a post online and it turned out to be another old friend who is a dresser. Well the thing is, she's purging because of a child'd discovery of her things and due to the living situation. She's offered me Hormones, a six month supply. I'm questioning wether I should take them or not?
I've considered taking hornones for some time now. The idea of having real breast (even an A or B cup) is very exciting. My concern is, if I end up changing my mind, would I be stuck for life with breast? I know I've read about men that have grown them and then actually had a surgery to have them removed, which is something I don't think i want to experience. Has anyone ever experienced the use of hormones, even for a short time?
I know that my best bet is it see a counselor and discuss the issue with them. I'm making an appointment to see if a counselor can help. I'm a little nervous in that I could be going down a road that I might not be able to return on. It's like a fork and you have to choose a path. I hope that I make the right decision.
I'm curious to know what other girls have experienced around this topic. Do any of you have some real life experience you'd be willing to share?
Ashley
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As someone who has purged multiple times, I can only say that staying the course is the only way to go. I'm not on hormones yet, but I have taken testerone reducers to help grow my breasts. They are not that big yet, but the feeling of having a bra actually cupping them, is an awesome sensation. I get happier every time I experience it. I'm telling you this, because I have spent hundreds replacing my clothes shortly after every purge, and I feel that if you crossdress once, and like it, you should save your money, and the mental anguish, and just keep on doing what feels right. If my situation wasn't so bad right now, and I had the money, I would probably go for the full transition. I can see that you have some beautiful clothes. It would be an awful shame to let them go to waste. I've put you on my hotlist, and sent a friend request, and I hope you'll respond. I would like to find as many friends out here as possible, and I would be greatly pleased to coount you as one of them. Hope you had great holidays, and have a great new year. Stay with what makes you happy. Sincerely, Rachel