URNotAlone

Broken heart

February 9th, 2009 12:01 am MST

Somebody broke my heart, not once but twice, and I feel so sad becouse it's was at the same time I lost my family too, (just a few days after) all of this in the middlle of sickness and troubles that I did not wanted to have for myself, I've always run away from troubles in my life, justnot to have pain in my soul.

Now I found that, no matter what I do, some of these trouble I was going to live them anyway, if I only had know this before, just to protect myself.

So, is this a beginning of a new life? do I deserve to find happiness? or I just give it away?

I really want to heal my heart an not be as lonely as I am now.

Who in the world will be able to understand, and to care the way and to love the way I used to be love, why I have lost all the people I love to sickness and desease?

Why the person I love, had to have this two disorders (bipolar & borderline) at the same time, and why I did not found out before, so I can help her and me in a better way. Is this he reason why I lost her love in such a quick time? And how those many laughs and smiles and huggs and kisses becomes into lies and tears and sadness? Should I feel betrayed? Is she going to love me again? I know it's what I want now, do I wait for her love again, or do I just go on with my life?

Why it's so hard to understand what I been feeling these days, it's becouse she was my first love? or I just dont love myself enough?

How do I overcome adversity being just the ordinary ts girl next door, why being mi age, and as inteligent as I am, I dont know how to overcome all this.

If you wanted, feel free to give me some advice, please.

Maia, just another fallen angel.