URNotAlone

Reflection

March 9th, 2010 9:16 pm MST

I was going back in my blog over some of the stuff I have written in the past and while doing this I realized that today the poems have a different meaning to me than when I first wrote them.  I do this quite often actually.  I will write something and then not grasp the full meaning of it until months or even years later and quite honestly it still amazes me to this day.  Here is one I would like to share with you all that I have to say is one of my favorites and with reading it today I grasped the full meaning :)  Hope you enjoy.

Triumph

Life is a tangled web we weave;
For ourselves and others we do deceive.

We walk out the door smile and say hi;
Yet inside all we want to do is curl up and cry.

Pushing on we tell ourselves everything will be alright;
But pretending will not scare away all of the fright.

Our hopes have been dashed and our dreams swept away;
Should we stand and fight or turn and walk away?

Giving up is an option most will choose;
No matter how much they stand to loose.

But if you stay strong and persevere through the rough times ahead;
You will still come out on top no matter what is done or said.

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Mi Amore....

February 27th, 2010 5:33 pm MST

Love.......the best emotion I have ever felt but one of the most frustrating at the same time.  When you cannot be with the one you love all of the time it is trying to say the least.  And when you have plans to see that person and then cannot it brings up all kinds of emotions, at least for me anyways.  I long to be in their arms and am frustrated that I cannot be.  I never knew it would be like this. 

Love is the hardest thing I have ever done but the one thing that I will fight for to make work.  On April 3 of this year I will move in with my significant other and I so look forward to it yet am scared at the same time.  To live with someone full time is going to be much different then seeing them on the weekends and talking during the week.  I know it shall not be easy but I also know that this is the right thing for both of us and cannot wait to start our life together. 

Our path has not been the easiest.  We both have scars that have made things difficult, but between us there is such a strong connection that it cannot be denied.  At one point I will freely admit I was ready to give up but at that point they finally told me they loved me.  Those three words almost floored me.  To love someone for so long and think that they did not return those feelings was hard and with intentions of saying goodbye I went down there.  That night though will forever be burned in my mind because three powerful words changed my life forever.......I Love You.

I know not what this journey will bring but I do know this.......with the one I love at my side I am ready to face what the Gods have to throw at us and ready to take the bad with the good.  Together she and I are a force to be reckoned with and I know her love and strength will lift me up and help guide me in my journey from here on out as I hope that my love and strength will help her.  For I truely believe she is "Mo Anam Cara" my soul mate.

Blessings to you all.

Heidi Kay

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One year ago today.......

February 20th, 2010 4:38 pm MST

One year ago today I joined this wonderful site after being referenced to it by the love of my life.  I could not realize then what URNA would do for me in that one year.  It has given me a better understanding of being in love with someone who is TG and it has also given me acceptance.  I am a Pagan BBW who has not always had the easiest of lives.  I had no self confidence and did not believe that I deserved to be loved.  After I met Jenette a whole new world opened up for me.  For the first time in my life I was able to be myself and not be afraid of being rejected or made fun of. 

Jenette took me to my first URNA T-Party in Columbus, Ohio in January of 2009 and I admit I was a bit terrified.  Once we got there though all of the girls were so nice to me; it was a turning point in my life I do believe.  Finding that one place where I fit in.  I have only missed 3 parties since that one and each one has gotten better and better for me and each month I look forward to seeing all the wonderful people who have become friends and family to me. Thinking back on all of this just makes me wonder what this year will bring, and with giddy anticipation I look forward to it! 

[1 comment]

Need your Help :-)

February 13th, 2010 12:57 am MST

Hello All!!! This Journal entry is dedicated to my best friend who is an Artist out of Southern California. She is getting ready to start a new project but needs some help. This is what her project is about:

Who I am: An artist based in Southern California. I graduated with a BA in Fine Art from California State University San Bernardino in 2004. About the project: Over the past decades, technology has transformed our lives. It has made things better, faster, more efficient; but at the same time colder, less personal. People will email, instant message or text rather than pick up a phone and call or stop by and have a conversation face to face. My idea for this project is to incorporate the emotion, the personal touch of one of our oldest forms of communication (next to speech of course), handwriting. The idea is to use real handwritten letters/poems/etc as an underlay to my paintings.Yes I appreciate the irony that I'm asking this using said technology. This project is still in it's infancy. So far I just have samples with printed song lyrics just so I could get an idea of how things work. This is where YOU come in. How you can help: My ability to work on this project is dependent largely upon the help from others. What I'm looking for is emotion. I'm not asking you to write to me, but to send me things people have written to you, or you have written to someone. Love letters, poems, song lyrics, hate letters, breakup letters, anything that evokes emotion, good or bad. Something to/from a current flame or one that burned out long ago, it matters not. You can also help by suggesting the page to any friends you think might be able to help me.

Important Notes: Please do not send me the only copy of a letter your dead grandmother wrote to your grandfather in WW II (or something equally meaningful to you); these will NOT be returned. In sending me anything, you are acknowledging you know it will not be returned and giving me permission to use it in my art. If you would like to be contacted if I make use of your letter(s), please include an email address and I will do my best to do so. If you would like to include any background information regarding who the letter/poem/etc was from/to/about/etc, feel free to do so, but it is by no means required. Also please let me know if you would like to be credited for any written material, otherwise everything will remain anonymous.

If you are interested in helping please mail the letter to:

PO Box 343

Sun City, CA, 92586

You can also check out her fan page on facebook by clicking on this link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/heART-and-Letters/281750334484?ref=mf#!/pages/heART-and-Letters/281750334484?v=info&ref=mf

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What URNA Means to Me......

February 3rd, 2010 7:13 am MST

This site I have to tell everyone means so much to me. I was introduced to it by my significant other Jenette and it has opened up many doors for me and given me many new friends. The T-Parties; wow not sure where to start with them.........they are amazing. I have been going to them for a year now and have only missed I think a total of 3. Never before in a community have I felt so welcome and accepted for who I am and to me that is amazing. I live in rural Ohio and have always been the outcast and to finally after 28 years find a place I can be me and not be afraid of rejection is priceless. The URNA is part of my extended family. Every month I have the opportunity to meet new friends and LOVE IT! So thank you all and see you at the end of this month at Club Diversity for the Party! *HUGS*

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