Journal Entries for Tammy Lynn Asalace
is it summer yet?
May 11th, 2009 9:22 pm MDT
okay girls, it's that time of year again when the weather gets hot out, your considering putting away your girl clothes for the next few months because (heaven forbid) your friends from the straight life might be questioning you as to why your legs, chest, and armpits are so nicely clean shaven. The real question comes is ...what do you do when people ask you about this? Do you lie to them and say... Well, I recently bought a racing bicycle and am doing triathalons and shaving makes me faster in the water and on the bike. or...do you say.. Quite truthfully ( lyging thru your teeth) I thought I'd try and work on getting a better tan this year because the hairy chest and legs made it too difficult in years past. or...Do you just come out and say ..."Look you idiots! Can't you figure it out that I'm a queen who loves to dress up as a woman, and have this desire to be a hot chick as often as I breath air? at any rate I'm sure many of you are thinking similar thoughts. Some of the odd things that I'm realizing the older I get is that I'm enjoying the boy stuff I used to do far less and enjoy doing more and more girl things. Ie ...today I was out at my parents home on the lake and saw sailboats on the lake. Usually this time of year I have this incredible itch to get out and sail. But instead today I had this urge to go home and get all dolled up and email all my Tgirl friends instead. I remember years ago when I'd dream of being a star athlete and competition. Now I fantasize about being a runway model for a day, or being an office secretary wearing short skirts to work and making coffee for some big company CEO. What the hell? I'm not even on hormones yet and I feel like my brain has been overcome by estrogen! Yeah that is weird. I used to subscribe to Sports Illustrated and now I read Vogue, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan! I'm not sure exactly what's going on with me, but I do know that more and more I am becoming a woman with the passing of time. I think it's not because I'm changing ...that's not it.. I've had these intense feelings all my life. I think now it's becasue I'm losing the battle with my female self to really want to come out. My male ego is losing the battle that was winning for so many years. maybe now it's time to let go of the boy and allow the woman to take over. Only time will tell! I hope that many of you will read this and give me your thoughts on this... hugs and kisses! Tammy
