Journal Entries for connie
an old friend.
November 25th, 2009 9:14 pm MST
the woman you see in the picture is a mirror image of who i see. she has been a part of me for as long as i can remember and it has been a long ,painful at times struggle to come to terms with her. until a few years ago, i wasn't sure who this woman was or what she wanted with me. i tried to push her back as far as i could for years at a time but she always came back and usually with a vengence. her appetite for nice clothes and jewelry and shoes were a mystery to me but i knew it was useless to resist. she always gets her way and when she is happy, i am happy also. some of my friends know about "connie" and to my surprise, they have been accepting though somewhat surprised. i really had built up a whole other world that didnt include her but here lately, i realized that i have to change a few things. its not all that drastic but simply the truth. the truth as scary as it may seem is not as bad as lying. believe me, when the truth is out then the fear goes away and if the ones you care about really love you, they wont stop. youll never please everyone and there will be disapointments but think about this-in a hundred years, no one will remember your name much less the things youve done. a hundred years is really not that long so what you need to remember is you have less than that here on this earth.
