URNotAlone

1st Entry

June 22nd, 2009 11:03 am MDT

Since this is my first entry and i am new here I guess i will begin with a little history on me (Will \ Lexi)

Like most I have been a dresser since I was around the age of seven maybe younger. I have always been drwn to womans clothing and only really feel comfortable if i am wearing them.

I have always felt i should have been a woman, but have never came out to family or friends and thus living in a dark closet with high security locks, a gaurd on duty and a watchdog. "watch out for landmines"

For a year despite the health risks and concerns I started self prescribing HRT blends and it was working!!!  My skin and hair became softer, breast size slightly increased, nipples became slightly larger and sensitive, my sexdrive actually increased. I actually felt less tense and less irriatable while i was taking estrogen and antiandrogens. unfortunately because of a change in job, school and living arrangements I had to stop ordering my HRT stuff. 

I have always had a strong sexual interest in woman and nothing for men except for during the one year that i was ordering my own HRT. It must have been the chemical changes in my head cause during the second half of my year, I started craving and fantisizing about being completly dominated by a man or more.

That has since changed. It has been almost two years since i was on My HRT. My hair is back to normal I think, My skin is still a little softer than before HRT. I went through some horrible "HORRIBLE!!!" moodswings, hotflashes and interpersonal issues. My sexdrive is about inbetween before and after. I have no more thoughts about men.  but my sexual desires have changed some.  Irronically I am now still attracted to woman and now i am driven mad crazy about a woman with a penis. "Go Figure"

Currently I am living as Will with a beautiful woman who knows nothing about Lexi. She thinks Lexi was a halloween costume =(  I have not and do not know how to break it to her. I am madly in love with her, I have never been happier in a relationship. 

I just wish I knew that I could tell her about Lexi and everything be ok.

I still want SRS But could live happily ever after if I only got to dress and go out and do girly things with my love.

LEXI