Cheryl_Lynne
"Living female most of 4 years. Worked at laser salon last summer and no one clocked me even the owners parents. It helped to have my hair done each day by my boss. NOW I LIVE AS A MAN AGAIN"
Journal Entries for Cheryl_Lynne
bout my life now
November 8th, 2009 12:25 pm MST
I have flopped from male to female and back a few times in the last 5 years. I found my female self at 55 yrs old and embraced her. Then started hormones, that was on May 5, 2005. It took untill Nov. 2005 to accept I was a transsexual. Yes, I know it was backwards to protocalls. When I started going out infem Feb. 05 it was scarry then just natural feeling. That is how I got to start HRT. Going almost full time holding back in front of my parents and a few family members for several months. Then the big letter was written and sent out. Only a few answered the rest turned away. I have a son that was one of them and he has a daughter. I have not been allowed to see her for 4 yrs now. My first time going back to male was to try and get my wife back. We were married 35+ yrs then. That did not work and only 3 months later Cheryl was back. Then I did the going back last yr in Aug for a joke and because I had to go off HRT for medical reasons. I tried to get my son and grand daughter in my life then and my son came back. It helped me to get a job too thou I told Wal mart I was a TS and would change on the job soon. I changed there in May this yr and my son left again. I still have not been allowed to see my grand daughter and she is 10. After many battles with myself trying to find a balance, I found it. I now have peace with my male self and live as a man! NEWS FLASH I live male. I do not think living female works for me or is needed. My body would need way too many changes and I still would not look how I invisioned. Don't get me wrong, I look pretty as a woman even with min make up. It is not how I want to look or need to be now. So this Sept. 2009 I changed to a new male self, happier and at peace with both identities of mine. I AM TWO SPIRITED both male and female and male is how I will live. This is not for anyone but me. I have a friend that is ok with both and is adjusting to Terry as she met me as Cheryl a woman. Our friendship is growing strong too. In public I am a man and in the bed, well I wear womans soft PJs my friend gave me. Balance is what I have now.
My trans sister Robyn left early this morning for Texas to live with her son and family. It is the first trans friend for me and my closest sis. I will miss her greatly and call her often! Safe travels for your family get to meet her and she her daughter i n law and grand kids. So wonderful! There is hope in our life after all. Terry a MTFTMTFTMTFTM (o:
Untitled Post
October 26th, 2009 9:40 pm MDT
The lady friend I met at Wal mart is still around. We see each other almost every day. Thou she may move north (in with a friend of hers) about 40 miles away. She is not ready for romance and our friendship is growing. I cherish the friendship and hope it never dwindles. Wal mart terminated me cuz I stored my gun in my SUV parked in their parking lot while working. I have no other place to store it and have a conceled weapons permit in this state. So jobless and homeless now. My friends let me stay in a spare bedroom for now if I dont talk about guns. Hoping everyone is happy and healthy Cheryl_Lynne
Friends-new and last GF
September 17th, 2009 12:07 am MDT
in pix with SUV note lic plate--I AM TS on it. YEAH!
I have a new friend that pursued me in a way that leaves me confused. She came to me while I was working at Wal mart (cashier). After several times I talked about being a trans woman. Not a problem she said. She was gone about 6 weeks then showed up at my work. I was tapped on my shoulder and turned around. She gave me a hug and said "I bet you though I left". That was 2 weeks ago. We see each other and went to dinner once. Talking with her I finally said I wanted to lay next to her soon. "I'm not a lesbian" she said. Then we talked about our friendship and needs- hers and mine. She is my age and pretty. Not sure where it will lead.
Now to my past GF. She is younger and deaf. We met last summer and fell in love. I gave her a promise ring Dec. Then her old BF got involved and his parents (he's 49 yr and she's 39 yrs old) We broke up and finally she broke off someway with him. Tonight we are on line texting like old times. Dang it-I m lonely and want to be loved but things get in the way. Both have said no problem what gender I live as. I am Bi-Gender meaning I ID male and Female but prefer the female self to live as. I am what is called "Two Spirit" and a much better person since I started the journey. Like Kate Bornstein I m a gender outlaw/ non conformist/ a bender of genders even. Yet, I only dress female or a neutral-like look, never male again.
Today was a good day
September 12th, 2009 9:40 pm MDT
It was a good day today. My lady friend and I talked more. Maybe it will become a great friendship and possibly more. It is so nice to have someone with similar interest. My last GG was deaf and 21 yrs younger. We broke up after 7 mths. This woman is around my age. A very nice difference. She is a GG and came to me to talk. After several months she dissapeared. Then she showed up and hugged me at my work. We spend time together, when we can, and talk or text frequent.
I was First Lady to the Rain Tree Empire's Empress 33 (Vancouver, WA) Rhea Rhange from May 07 to May 08. Now that was fun and I wore several formals or gowns to the events and fund raisers.
It is so nice to meet the several that wrote me, espicially Darlene as we talked by phone last night.
about me---
September 11th, 2009 10:49 pm MDT
At 55 yrs old (2005) I found information about transsexuals. I was new to the internet and with my own lap top, I explored the web looking for answers why. I found Lauries place and from there a local place that accepted and HELPED CD's and Trans. The first visit I looked male and from then on only female. The owner became a dear dear friend. She helped many in the Portland, Or. and Vancouver, Wa .area gender variants. Thru her I found a therapist (FTM) and a doctor (MTF) who are good friends to me now. I felt I had to be a man more then once after starting HRT, the last time was Aug 08 thru May 09. I did this to try and get my wife and 2 son's back in my life. I could not do it and lost them all. I was dating a deaf GG last yr and she did not mind who I dressed. Finally she decided to go back to the guy she had been with. We are friends still and love each other.
My interest are in GG's and TS women. No guys ever. I ride a Purple Harley Dyna Glide. Work for Wal mart as a cashier and transistioned at work. I told them in the interviews I would transition soon. May of this yr I have not looked back. I love camping and the outdoors. Fishing and might try hunting again. Use to water ski and drive demolition derby cars (built them too for 11 yrs). I like long trips on my Harley too.
poems by me Dear Heart
September 11th, 2009 10:29 pm MDT
You must wait for love
Don't rush it dear
Just love yourself
Accept all that is you
As each day passes
Your beauty will grow
The love light within
Will become your beacon
Sad days are gone
Take time to pick
A bouquey of flowers
For your time has come
By Cheryl_Lynne
