URNotAlone

An update

February 5th, 2012 2:36 pm MST

It's been over two years since my last posting;  much has happened but not so much.  I still primarily dress at home and rarely go out.  This remains an issue of both courage and places to go.  There is a club less than a mile away that hosts we girls one night a week, but I have yet to find time--and courage--to go.  My desire waxes and wanes:  some days I feel as if I would burst if I didn't get out while on others I hardly think of dressing at all.

Kris seems to be not very stress-resistant.  When my male life is smooth and calm and fun, Kris wants to get some of the attention;  but when my male life is stressful or very busy--as it is much of the time these days--she rarely nudges. 

But Kris is always there.  Sometimes I feel as if I am living that Steve Martin-Lily Tomlin film, where the Lily Tomlin character occupies the body of the Steve Martin character.  There are days when I know Kris is looking out from my male eyes.  And she always shades my male personality:  I find I can compliment a woman on her shoes or her hair or her eyes without feeling awkward, as one woman might another.  And there are times when I can hardly resist asking a woman where she got a particular pair of shoes that Kris would love to have.

But we go along.  Kris has met lots of wonderful friends and stays in touch with the ones she had.  She has developed a pretty god makeup routine and gotten some nice wigs:  the experimental stage as to color and style seems to be over.  The wardrobe continues to grow.  We just got a nice jacket dress with a bright beaded bodice;  now we need somewhere to go in it!

My male life finds me in the at-home office many Mondays, so Kris often comes to work.  My URNA and Flickr galleries have plenty of pictures of the new stuff.

The next challenge is GGs.  My male persona is finally over the shock of losing a wife of 34 years and is contemplating dating and maybe more.  The issue of what to do and say about Kris is in the background.  We'll play that one as it lays, but two things are true:  if a woman falls in love with the male me, there is a lot of Kris there that she loves;  and I really can't put Kris back into mothballs.  She is me and I am she and we are we, and that's all there is to that.