URNotAlone

Dreams do come true

December 31st, 2009 6:05 pm MST

Dreams do come true Today, 26th December 2009, a day I honestly thought Iwould never have. Let me take you back a little, August 26th 2009, my last blog, a truly new day for this girl. For those new to my life it was the day I moved out from my wife and son and Fiona was truly born, not just as a dream or hope after all the years just existing, but truly born. Free. Since that time I have had the usual range of emotions which most of us girls experience. Rejection, anger, hurt, guilt, ridicule pain and so many tears. I have had to deal with burocracy at it's worst, financial worries from both households, indiference from companies in relation to name and gender change. If I have been asked once, I have been asked 100 times by various companies, do I have authority to talk to them on behalf of Miss thomson. Humour is a wonderfull tool in dealing with this sort of indifference. So over the phoneyou will here the following conversation, and this will be after all security questions have been answered. Caller, " Do you haveMiss Thomson's permmision/authority totalk on her behalf", Reply, "Hold on I will just askmyself, yesI give myself permmision to talk to you", Caller after a short but noticable pause, " "I think I should appologise to you now, sorry miss Thomson". We may change our name, but we can not change society, not yet anyway. So that is the general way things have been progressing over the last few months in relation to name change and such like. However for every one which has required a humour's hammer to crack some skulls, I have though, had so many positive reponses from total strangers that have crossed my path, both in an official capacity and out and about living my life, that any problems seem so minor, they do not worry me, and humour is a very efective way to deal with them. Returning to the title. "Dreams", since moving out of the marital home, I have kept in constant contact with my Ex, we are and will always be the best of friends, my son however took, first the seperation hard, but Fiona he found extremely hard to come to terms with. He has known of Fiona for considerable time, but now with the seperation and me living 24/7. I do think he could not handel it. So consequently I had not seen him since August, spoken on the phone constantly, but sometimes strained. As more and more friends and relatives became aware of the reason for our seperation, a distictive two camp senario came into play, from being invited to Christmas meals as a family, walls were soon erected around me, with the persons responsible actively trying to influence my freindship with my ex and son. The name "freak" was used on varios occasions to describe me. Even my elderly mom was implecated by these persons, trying to influence when and how she should be told, Basically trying to cause as much damage as possible. And all this by people and relatives Ihad known for over 35yrs, helped and fed them, people that had stayed in my home. Eventually in my own way and own time I told my mom all about Fiona, I showed her a photo of my new house's back garden, She said, "Thats lovely, but who is the woman in the photo", My reply, "Me", so started 8hrs of conversation, a visit to my home, cooked meal, and total acceptance. It should be pointed out that I was not full on Fiona at that point, but I had just came from my facial laser treatment, so looked somewhat red and blotchy. Trousers and a blouse. I was concerened that she could not take it medically, she is in her 80's. But she had to be told, for I knew that one of my detracters was just itching to tell her, some people just like to cause hurt and pain on others. Since that day as mother and daughter we have gone from strength to strength. Shopping trips, meals out, regular almost daily visits, all her neighbours have now been introduced to Fiona as has her friends. The conversations that now take place between us, well you just would not believe me. On a rather weird but so touching note, one of my moms friends was close to dying a few weeks ago, or so she thought. her instructions to her family, Fiona is coming to my funeral. They have now accepted me. In fact if my mom reffers to me in any form other than female, they fine her £1. So life has been going well since August, but with Christmas rapidly approaching, and my son still not wishing to see me, alternative arrangements were made. My mom was spending Christmas with me, my ex and son had been invited to his girlfriends, the girlfriend knows about Fiona. On the 23rd December I phoned my ex to collect some items,, she was adament that she would deliver them to my home. A few hours later I answered my front door, on opening it, there stood my son, a smile on his face. Me I was lostfor words, and I could feel tears fill my eyes. Two hours later they left, my ex and son. It had been him that had wanted to visit, I saw him the following day, was there when he opened his presents on Christmas day, and again on Boxing day where we had a family meal together, Fiona, my ex and mom and my son. Dreams can come true. A little footnote, a relative has tried on various occasions to derail any attempt at contact with my son, again on Boxing day, she had tried to get my ex and son to visit for a meal, even though she had been told that his gran and I were going for a meal. Three times she had phoned to basically tell my ex that she was expected and that the table places were set for her. On one occasion she actualy said, "Tell them you are coming here, so they will not stay long". Nothing good ever comes to those type of people, nasty breeds nasty things. Yes it has been a very good year for this girl, a family with about 75% accepting Fiona, the important 75%, the rest were never really a part of this girls life, they were just there being nasty as normal. A life that has been so long in coming, but worth every day I now live. My hormones are having a very very good effect on me, both mentally and physicaly, the facial laser is coming along so well, and I shall be refered to my surgeon in 2010. My neighbours are both welcoming and accepting of me, friendship from strangers is a reward in itself. I have become actively involved with several police forces and there awarenes and diversity oficers, attending meetings and seminars. Currently setting up a new social group for the girls in my local area, found wonderfull location, the landlords are wanting us there, with luck that should be up and running in a few months time. Where do I see my eventual journeys end, Married again, sorry guys but to a loving girl, only time will tell on that one though, and a kiss. I have only scratched the surffice of the last few months, but that is life. Love & hugs, Fiona,xxx

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