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bebe edwards

Everyday Life

October 13th, 2017 9:52 pm EDT

Everyday Life


Looking at the everyday life differences between men and women, we are, as Simone de Beauvoir wrote, the Second Sex. Every day women experience insecurities about, and interactions with, other women, and objectification, humiliation and relegation by men.


What I’m planning to do is blog from time to time about my everyday happenings and encounters exemplifying this, starting with today at the drug store. I’m not complaining, just noticing. Women are a sisterhood, and men, despite their failings, are handy to have around, and if you’re inclined, can be fabulous lovers.


There I was on my way home from work in line at the pharmacy counter to pick up my monthly estrogen prescription and a Monistat Ovule insert (yes, I have a yeast infection). In my hand was a box of Always panty liners. In line with me was an attractive woman about my age. We were between two men who were both overweight and balding, with bad haircuts, and don’t get me started on their clothes.


We were both nicely dressed. She was slim, had a striking short haircut like Mika Brzezinski, was in a black and lime houndstooth shift and black and white flats, and carrying a beautiful black Vuitton bag. I was in my Austin Reed sleeveless cobalt shift and tan Kenneth Cole low pumps, with my tan Mulberry shoulder bag. She looked great. In fact, I was feeling slightly insecure standing next to her. I’m sure she also noticed exactly what I was wearing and was hoping she’d be impressed.


There we were, two slim women on display with our arms and legs exposed, in dresses cut to accent our pert breasts and bums, and underneath, underwear designed to emphasize our charms, feeling competitive about who was better dressed and more attractive.


On the other hand, the two gifts from god (in their own minds) exuded confidence, could care less how they were dressed and spent the entire time checking us out, looking up and down our legs, and at our bums, boobs and faces. I could feel their eyes boring in. Their implicit message was that we would be lucky to be with them.


Once the other woman was served we exchanged commiserating smiles, and I stepped forward and said hello to Caro, the female pharmacist. We know each other and exchanged woman-to-woman smiles; she gave me sympathetic advice about the Monistat and asked me how things were going. We chatted about how her daughter was doing at university, her weekend in NYC with her husband and my bag. All the while I felt the eyes of the guy behind me boring into my bum and on my legs.


In contrast, the men were oblivious to what the other was wearing, remained total strangers to each other, and had no interactions with anyone other than to stare appraisingly at me and the other women.


What’s my point? Simply, that women are insecure by being regularly objectified by men, and constantly comparing themselves with and judging themselves against other women while at the same time unconsciously bond sympathetically because of the objectification, and easily form casual friendships. Men, on the other hand, aren’t.


Don’t get me wrong; I love being a woman, looking my best and the attention I get. As Tina Fey says, “I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.”

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