URNotAlone

Brunch~a~palooza with Bri & Crystal 10.24.09 Yahoo serious!...lol

November 1st, 2009 11:53 am MST

Dateline Monday ( I think…lol) Report to the Surgeon General from the bat cave…;p :

WOO F***ing HOO!

Your Foo fighter (against the seriously mundane) is spent…and my legs actually feel weak today…lol

I seriously doubt that my fellow bat girl, (and team leader of the day (the inimitable Miss Crystal Frost) went to work…If she did, I’m pretty certain that the phone is in “we’ll get back to ya” mode…lol

What a truly heroic VIKING tale yesterday was, and you couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day to be at your finest, looking like a movie star & REPRESENT! …to the general inmate population out there!

Let’s just say that the TWO of us were on a “take no prisoners” ransack of the Left Village…HA!

Here’s what you missed (you can kick yourselves later for being dumb ass lazy!...;p)

It was a beautiful start to the race with Crystal & her assembled entourage of contestants lounging on the red carpet outside of the Cowgirl Hall Of Fame…looking like the cast of Sex In the City being regaled by the Press Gang & paparazzi crushed behind the velvet ropes…;))… ;D The sky was bright & clear, and the sun shone brightly… this was brunch with the ladies who meal, and
it’s one of the last days of Indian Summer in NYC…just perfect!

I made my way across the street as the crowd parted like the red sea to join the cast of what would prove to be a production of epic proportions…lol

 After an appropriate amount of time for the staff to prepare a central feasting table for us inside the totally cute Cowgirl themed jalapeneo popper…lol we were regaled with a superfine protein & carb fuel up while being treated like stars with super sized smiles & service, with seemingly every satellite table giggling at the comedy coming from our banter… ;D

The Bloody Mary's were en eye opener, or closer, depending on your resistance to hot stuff...lol

 The Echidna was seriously bruised…lol

…then…. With all jets a go we launched headfirst into the sun,  heading due north. A pedal cabbie was seriously smitten & offered us a free ride wherever we wanted to go…which we declined, as a spectacle such as ours needed be circumcised with much more pomp & circumstance…lol (although I was seriously considering the ramifications of what would come of a modern Judah Ben Hur chariot ride through the streets of the Old West…lol ART! is what we are, and such Dandy Warhol’s need to be seen up close to be truly appreciated for our individuality & quality of execution…lol…best appreciated by the serious connoisseur, culture jammers or blatantly inappropriate lesbians…lol
  The pedal pusher gave us cards though with his cell number saying “anytime, anyplace”…lolol hmm…;p

Our first stop would be Planet Cubbyhole, for a circle jerk under the twinkling mélange of holidaze rotating overhead, taking in the heady vapors of females in heat…lol  and being offered complimentary clam chowder…(how appropriate!)…lol The Cubby’s apparently are wanting to give us brunch-ability with them soon too! Excellent!
 
 Next, it was back out for a stroll through the cobblestone streets heading due East to Johnny’s, where the totally friendly low key atmosphere found us in rare form…I haven’t laughed so hard in ages…did I mention the pie? There was pie…lol it came along with us for the laughs somewhere along the way…in a box. There were cruel jokes, but no one got hurt…lol
  Tess, resplendent behind the bar was beautiful, and her top was quite revealing. It was a cool night and the door was open…lol…I think it moved…;p Crystal’s friend Melissa was really sweet. I explored the inside of her oral cavity looking for answers, but only found more questions the deeper I probed…lolol
 
 We picked up a hitchhiker who didn’t care for darts, golf or curling, I was to find out…lol
He was called Robert, and Crystal & I decided he must have been Chinese, as he ping-ponged with serpentarian aplomb between us…lol men are such dogs, you know, not being able to decide which shit smells better, but wanting to take it all in the ass run…lol

THEN!...(got your score cards out?) we continued the flight out of Egypt with the rainbow warrior in tow & headed East & took a hard right straight into Babylon…lol
 Making the scene at Boots & Saddles was easy, where the serious grinding of the evening now started, as we danced around a plethora of urgently pressing issues…lol, got our freak on…and with a toss of our curls, schwing! we left…always leave ‘em begging for more I say, right…lol
Now it was time to cross the street, past the crowd singing show tunes at street level & down into the bowels of the Monster, for some over exposure under the disco ball’s shimmer & the call of the dance floor. ;D Crystal shook it like a white girl, Trish fell  hard for a Latino pixie with a 6 pack, and I went into a tail spin with a hungry wolf…lol
  We were all having lots of fun, when Trish asked me to sing her a song of desire. I decided that she would be able to hear it much more clearly if I sang it directly into her mouth…lol This particular song is tricky… I make it up on the fly of course, but it wound up having several verses, a repeated chorus…and an encore…lol

At this point we lost the hitchhiker, who, had become like peau de soie,… a medium to heavy, drapeable fabric with a soft satin weave and dull finish….lol

There had been, by this point a serious amount of mead drained out of various tanks, and into ours…lol, and we decided to come up for air…and away we went….

…straight back again into the deep house 4/4 at Greenhouse….I love that space, the raw tune-age is fine, the crowd is terribly sexy, and the toilets come with breath mints…lolol
 We slid across the waxed dance floor under a canopy of foliage back lit & throbbing with a seemingly full room spectrum of wall to wall sound...it comes from everywhere, but you can’t see how…very cool, kinda like being inside a fuzzy navel or ear canal…radical & tubular!…;)) we danced till breathless, and I got mad props for knowing HOW to move my junk flash dance style in 4+ inch heels…Get your bad self down beatch! lol I wanted the Redheaded Emma Peel Doll in a skin tight black body stocking & boots…yummy… ;)) but she kept disappearing … was it live or was it girls on film?… must have been Memorex, but I can never really be sure…lol
 
Trish is a real trooper, she’s only just above the level of my business, which means it was easy for her to play with my garters…I told her the pleasure was all mine, but I’m not so sure about that…lolol
 By now I have no fricking clue what time it was, I think it had been called on account of hedonism… too much fun is just enough ya know…;))
 The upstairs was in overdrive, and I had serious fear for the safety of my toes, as the room was like a beehive with a fire lit from below… so we decided to fly before getting our wings clipped. ;D

To the surprise of both Crystal & myself, Trish then jumped into a cab with three beautiful strangers, and headed to Amanda Lepore’s party at the Hiro Ballroom.
 Crystal assured me that she’d be fine as she always lands on her feet.
 I was a bit concerned as the poor kitten’s frame seemed seriously bent by now…lol
 She called us later and I THINK anyway, was back in the game & on the prowl in another part of the jungle…lol

We weren’t done yet, as it turned out…ummm…did I mention the word VIKING…lol
Now we were headed back north, passing Caliente Cab Company. Crystal suggested that we should get a dozen girls with temporary water weight gain to go in there & flash mob the bathroom…lol I said I’ll drink to that!...lol (if you don’t get it, do some homework…lol)

Flying a bit farther a field found your trusty heroine’s on a strafing run through Duplex & Stonewall when it occurred to us that the Pie had been having such a good time singing “ I will Survive” at Boots & Saddles, that it had fallen behind with the swaggering Cocks & Hens (and Chickens…lol). SO, we decided to go rescue it, as Pies aren’t especially known for carrying loose cab fare…lol
 Upon entering, the Pie, which by now had done a costume change and had come fully out of it’s shell joined us for a short rendition of Naughty Marietta, and with a stage left, and a deliberately liberal sprinkling of air kisses, we shuffled off into the gaping mouth of the night, giggling like schoolgirls…lol 

Where to go where to go!...NEXT!

The not so obvious choice to me anyway, was the Hanger. Along the way I noted that practically every shop had in some form included the execution of tattoos in their business model… tattoos & heavy lifting, tattoos & French Polishing, tattoos & antique sushi bowling, tattoos & sea foam bubble tea for you & a matching mole, half off on Tuesdays! Tattoos AND body art…I suppose that’s like the Big Mac…. Double your signage & brand recognition with excessive fat…lol…comes with a fork with seating for 6 at the table of the elements, with no reservations required!…lol I thought we should get matching Gummi’s glued screwed or tattooed where the sun don’t shine…lol… so much virgin canvas & so little time! Tsk!...lol
  The Hanger was really loud, with big muscular tribal beats that make you want to throttle your knuffle bunny’s best assets or at least, the most open targets…lol…Let’s just say it was DEFINITELY NOT ladies nite…lol but who cares, we were out to shake things up & get our goddess worship on anyway…lol I’m ready for my scene now Mr. DeMille…lol
 Crystal knew a guy in there who begged for us to stay, meanwhile, she gave me a look that said “hockey puck”…lol later explaining that this one follows her around like a puppy…lol I didn’t think a jury could possibly convict…lol Crystal’s certainly got that Big Fish Story appeal…lol  I did mention dogs earlier didn’t I?...lol Well, enough of the Locker Room so she, me, and the Pie Rushed out the door flaming…lol Paris isn’t the only thing burning…lol We left burnout patches in the street as we careened a hard right down Bedford…lol

Which way did they go which way did they go!  Run rabbit’s run!

 Well, I have been trying for months to find out what’s going on with Chumley’s, as the phone’s ringing, but no one’s home…Chumley’s is the Doyenne of NYC Speakeasy’s, having successfully been playing Hide & Seek now for almost a century. It’s like a pair of favorite slippers. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe…;D
  If you don’t know where it is, you probably won’t find it, there’s no sign, no lamp post & the door is forgettable…lol Once inside the door, you are transported into what is most certainly a Dickensian Era British pub. The dark wooded walls are covered with the manuscripts of Lost generation & Beat Generation writers & poets., men of letters, some chicks too…lol …people like EE Cummings , William Faulkner, John Steinbeck, Ring Lardner & Edna St. Vincent Millay…
 There is also a ghost in there as well, usually, apparently, over by the bar. The floor is covered in sawdust, and there is a huge working fireplace. There are a trio of Hounds of the Baskervilles, ancient beasts that I think came with the property…lol They usually lie in front to the fireplace like stuffed sacks of peanuts roasting slowly in the dry heat…lol
 The bar has hand pulled ales with curious names of Firemen who fell in the way back, dirty Vicars & other social anomalies & activists. The walls & benches are carved with the names of lovers & spirits past… There’s a juke box with a permanent collection of 78’s…songs from the distant haze, but you can’t expect to hear what you attempt to play. The ghost get’s to work, and the box has a mind on playing what you SHOULD hear…lol and it’s all good…;)) My favorite meal is a lobster tail, with corn on the cob, salad & a biscuit…all for 12 bucks! You just can’t beat that!
 Anyway, away we went, and looked with intent, but it’s disappeared, vanished! I could cry a river into my beer if I could just get one!...lol Things that old don’t die, or fade away. I asked a migrant beaner in the corner restaurant. He looked at me balefully, and said “It’s gone”. FAK! I’ve been going there for 30 years, and I have to hear it from someone who fell off the turnip truck yesterday morning… it’s just not fair! I’ve done a google search, and found out the truth, and there is hope alive! ;D
 
ANYWAY, that wasn’t gonna’ work, so us girls held hands with the Pie & skipped town, err, rather around the corner DOWN town…lol
 We had almost come full circle from where we started, but couldn’t see the finish line just yet…lol
 Henrietta Hudson’s looked promising. We were back in our element, with the girls…ok, I’m speaking for myself here…lol Our little mini marathon had at this point seen us girls in heels for at least 15 hours, and me the night before as well…I was smart enough to bring a bag big enough to keep a pair of flats in, but Crystal’s combat boots were now barking…lol and we both wanted to sit down somewhere that wasn’t all whistles & gongs…the belles in HH’s sounded like a good landing strip… and so we were let inside the halls of the sisterhood… ;D Unfortunately, there was no seating available, so now we decided to keep the marathon going…lol
 Crystal suggested that we entertain the sailors in the “straight” bar across the street, but warned that it could be a bad move…
 I looked at my shoes. I like may shoes. I looked at the Shamrocks in the window. I looked at Crystal. I looked at her throbbing boots. We had the Pie’s well being to think of, so we walked on by…lol
 Now, we were back at the Cowgirl where we started, but ya know, every good effort takes 110 percent, and the RL Lounge (nee Rubyfruit) was at the far end of the block…we can do this!!!...lol
 The RL is a place where a girl can get something good & stiff from another girl, at a fair price!...lol
 The upstairs has been beautifully renovated. It’s clean & cheerful with good lighting & it’s choc’ full of cute women… just my kind of place! Even the butch bunnies are hunni’s…lol
 There are stylish salon pedestal stools which make you just want a makeover!...lol
 We got comfy, and then we got engaged…lol no silly, I love Crystal, but I had my little eyes on Diana. She had a killer dancer’s bod, spike heeled boots & a wicked grin… I kept singing in my head “… but you can leave your hat on…lol”
 She wiggled over to us, and pulled up to the bumper… fun fun FUN! Well, let me tell you…back off she’s mine!...lol
 Well, maybe ours… but seeing as Crystal is waiting for Selma Hayak, I think I’ll be building a bridge between my island & her brick house starting this week! What a fine ass pect of the Midnight hour!...lol whew!
 We exchanged cards, and I needed to scratch an itch…it was on her, of course…lol and well, Bob’s your uncle, as the Bishop said to the Actress…lol
 Well, as happens when two fine T Gals walk into any room, shit happens…lol and Diana HAD to leave with her friend who pretty much dragged her down the stairs…lol
 Sympathy for the Devil, and all that…lol We will meet again soon , me thinx… ;D
 Anyway, with one girl down, and more to go, I found a comfy place at the bar next to yet another lovely La Femme Nikita… and decided to get busy…lol I can actually pin point the exact moment when the fire lit in her eyes, when I explained that my brain actually worked exactly like hers, and that I had no genuine interest in boys at all, and that I guess that would make me lesbian too! Granted, it’s possibly Vampyros Lesbos that we’re talking about here, but hey, I can’t help it, I was just born to really suck at some things in life…lolol
 Crystal as well was having her own petting party, and we were definitely a hit… so much so, that the girl that I was chatting with’s girlfriend dragged her off down the stairs & out as well!...lol Doh! She wanted to stay, and I could have caused the earth to move, but I thought better for her & said that she should leave with her friend… ;D
 Ok, time to add a bit of new lipstick before trying for the hat trick…lol SO! I va va voomed my way over to the powder room.
 Once inside, I marveled at the most excellent design of the large well planned space. There was a niche at the far end lit softly with ambient lighting with a vase of Bird’s Of Paradise, which perfumed the air. The walls & floor were of a hewn bluestone, giving the space the feel of a Zen Garden…The Queen Mary..(There just can’t be a John in there, was a sleek curvilinear design which would echo the anatomy of she who would be born from above…;)) The sink, with it’s pedestal of stone and ovular bowl-like stainless steel nest resting on top with a single pistil-like faucet were in harmony with the somewhat oblique trapezoidal shape of the room. It’s not a box…lol As I sat there with my panties between my ankles, the sound of my own fluidity echoed like a stream flowing through a temple in a hidden cave, somewhat like a womb, actually…. Quite reflective all this, for just taking a pee…lol
 I lifted myself up, and well, you know, tucked in my panties…lol then washed my hands…. Upon turning around, I saw no towels, and no basket… this, made perfect sense for such a Shinto space. The Fung Sui would be utterly ruined if you could possibly mess it up with random intrusions like misfired rimshots on the floor…lol
 I then spied the hand dryer, which again, made perfect sense… I glided over, ran my hands beneath it & was immediately blasted by hyper-sonics crashing off the walls, creating standing waves that made harmonic dead spots, as the super heated turbo forced air thundered out of the short, cone shaped expeller. Finally, after what seemed far too long after my hands were already dry, it stopped. I fell back, collected the pieces of my shattered psyche, adjusted my garters & combed my hair. THAT, I’m quite sure, was designed by a man…lol

 There are 3 things I found interesting at the RL, besides the company, that is…

1)    I decided to have a quick peek into the men’s head…lol It was nothing like the women’s, Firstly, it was about half as big…lol the walls didn’t have the same treatment as in the ladies, quite Spartan by comparison. The sink was the same, but the head was most definitely a John…and the place was brightly lit. This, I assume, was an un-verbalized sign saying look before you get your pee shooter out…lol and oh, it was a box, quite boringly predictably rectangular…

2)    Of all the places that we went in that catered to the occasional sporting life, the RL was the only place that didn’t put the Tube De Boob behind or above the bar, but rather placed it in a discretionary position in the room which favored social interaction over mindless hypnosis…lol

3)    Of all the bars we were in, every one which catered to the more hirsute patrons had their boxes switched on to football. The RL had on the final ALC championship baseball game. Being a Yankee town, and that night being the last crucial game of the series, combined with the fact that baseball is played as much in the head as on the field, it made again, a lot of sense…lol after all, as we know…Diamonds are a girls best friend…lol

By now it was really getting late, and Crystal needed to get home in time to call in sick…lol so, we gathered our things, said our goodbyes to all of the lovelies, and again, hit the pavement…. Tap tap tap, click click click…and now we’re hugging each other at 7th Avenue. I hail a cab, and she’s away to the train with the Pie, (pumpkin, that’s one well traveled vegetable!)…Goddess speed sister, I hope you got home in a jiff… ;D

SO, what can we gain from this run on stream of consciousness?  Get a good night’s sleep Saturday night, empty your bank account, expect the unexpected and have a working medical plan in place …lol

My legs have felt like rubber and weak still some 24 hours later, and my ribs still hurt a little from laughing so hard… but these are pains that I’d welcome anytime… ;))

It’s that time of year again, and amateur night is just around the corner… trust me, If you talk the talk, you need to come out & walk the walk with C & B Music Factory when the risk Vs. reward factor is a toss up…lol… we make what you want to do right now…lol

Brunch with the ladies who DO lunch is now a part of the weekly social, so come out with us in NYC & have a gas yas yas… ;))

Love ya Crystal, let’s turn this pig over & roast the other side soon!



 

 

[Comment on this post]

A very merrie Christmukuahwanzavus! (celebrate diversity!) and a Happy Hogmany too!

December 23rd, 2006 7:05 am MST

TO one & all a very peaceful & joy filled season :D ...May you find that being with loved ones truely is the best gift of all... of course, something naughty & something nice, chocolates, silk stockings & a pack of Davidoff's are always good for grins too...at least I think so...looking foreward to the unmentionables that my sister Louise, her wife & kids always surprise me with...lol Deck tha' house... :)) Wherever you are, or wherever you go, be careful, have fun, and get home safe.. ;))) We need everyone keepin' the love alive in 2007 ;)) I'll see ya's in church... :)) I will be shutting down my UR as of Jan. 1 for an undetermined period of life retooling... I hope to hear from those who wish to find me out there in the ether or real life before then... Hope to see many of you in January at First Event, and throughout the new year out & about & on the dancefloors of life... let's make movies!...lol

XO kittenz~Bri @@>^•.-^<§@,¸¸,ø

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