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Validation is for parking

September 3rd, 2011 9:16 am MDT

So, there I was the other day, talking to a cousin (who happens to be gay, and that I'm out to) about how my mother (his god-mother) doesn't accept me. I'm still uncertain at this point if it's that she doesn't understand, or worse, that she doesn't WANT to understand.


But, anyway. During our conversation, he mentioned that I've not been to a psychologist to talk about it - so "SOC" of him. My response: Did he have to go see a psychologist when he came out? No, he didn't. He didn't have to convince some Dr. Phil wanna-be that he is in fact gay before the doc gave him a certificate to allow my cousin to go out to the gay bars. So why do Trans-people have to do so. What happens if we don't meet this person's ideals of who a trans-person is? What happens when this person says to us: "sorry, you're not really trans. No medical intervention for you."? What then? Why do we have to have 3rd-party validation to our existence? Why is it that when a gay person announces their sexuality, it's immediately accepted as gospel, but when a trans-person comes out, it's derided unless accompanied by a certification from a psychologist?


So many "why"s. No real answers. Only real heartbreak. Only real tears.

Comments

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  • Mata
    Re: Validation is for parking Mata September 3rd, 2011 8:58 pm MDT There IS an answer to many of the "why"s ... It's a lack of public awareness that causes most of the problems. It's been a long way over many decades to get from homosexuality having been considered a disease or even a crime but in any case against God's will (although I bet no one ever asked her what her will really was....) to where we are now. Homosexuality is, by and large, being accepted (well, sort of) as part of our so called civilized society (if you try very hard to ignore all the hypocrisy that still exists all around the issue). So in simple terms you'd say that homosexuality is yet not "normal" but "okaayyy" in a way. But it took endless efforts, fights and sacrifices to get there - and that's only half the way. Celebrities also played an important role over the last maybe ten, fifteen years to bring homosexuality to public awareness. Now, what's the status of transsexuality today? Well, the sad truth is, there isn't any. Go and ask people in the streets what they think a transsexual person is? "Errrrrr ... it's the ones that dress up in women's clothes, isn't it ...." That's the best answer that you'd probably get. And it's nowhere near the heart of the matter. But that is where the problem lies - you don't see transsexuality in talkshows, in movies, in newspapers, and magazines. No one really talks about it, no one thinks about it. When, on the other hand, everyone knows Elton John, George Michael, Ellen Degeneres, Jodie Foster etc. In terms of public awareness, homosexuals are perhaps half way round the track while transsexuals are still sitting in the starting blocks waiting for .... well, I don't really know ... But that's the reason why you still have to depend on the education/knowledge/understanding/goodwill of some Dr. Phil wanna-be to get  permission to be who you are.
  • harley mae rogers
    Re: Validation is for parking harley mae rogers September 4th, 2011 6:35 pm MDT

    http://www.docbushong.com/pubs/what_is gender.aspTake a look at this dear,Perhaps you may find it as helpful as I did.Huggs,Mae


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