Ana Cristina García
"Still riding the crisis but seeing light at the end of the tunnel"
Journal Entries for Ana Cristina García
From Ape to Babe - How Far Whould a Cross-Dresser go with Photo-Manipulation?
June 4th, 2008 11:16 am MDT
In the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of
us, cross‐dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top
of our wish list (second only to the temporary‐transformation pill). At last, we
would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for
processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for
creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a
dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web‐based community where
TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo
360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of
friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also
portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention
Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use
our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos
with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we
have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world
this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I
am talking from a cross‐dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show
our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give
or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people
who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as
possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so
that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are
developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a
profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it
is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the
woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity
to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be
completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people
pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or
photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like
to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are
not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they
honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor
beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross‐dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more
appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with
being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful
woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular,
praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or
those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to
look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include
myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other
“girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo
editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us
who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to
resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our
skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use
Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so,
how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality?
I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and
following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with
examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure
of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and
leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful
since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it
sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing
tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me
being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I.
Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually,
something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing
deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we
see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been
heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following
links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic‐design/photo‐retouching‐the‐delicate‐balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that
Faith is already a gorgeous middle‐aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make
her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and
slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is
removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the
article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in
detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples
of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click
on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it
was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage
and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the
perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link
below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is
produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair
we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a
good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us
are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects
that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on
their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure
of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and
exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with
Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite
unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross‐dressers it is very
hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is
opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets,
lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the
difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo‐
manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty
electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful
women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In
my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in
reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better
if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I
know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave
my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest
and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to
shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not
believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the
photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64
501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape‐produced cleavage looked that I thought I
was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by
superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that
maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been
touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in
the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you
agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I
like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a
note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the
“authentic tape‐created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo
editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others)
that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the
way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should
be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further
illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I
prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so
babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend
you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right,
Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to
cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA,
please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting
issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it
clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory
note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me
the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages
asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel,
etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is
often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the
photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a
matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started
posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to
mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the
other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work
shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have
always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped
me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and
just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more
feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting
my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body
snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been
touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”.
I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I
think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other
words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone
thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but
for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all
photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives
me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this
Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr
account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much
of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an
acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one
program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has
told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for
those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not
hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my
case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand
how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed
female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when
they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like
and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the
photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but
as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I
have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the
“virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own
satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to
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