Annette Bowser Brunette
"is relaxing down at the OLD GOATS CLUB"
Journal Entries for Annette Bowser Brunette
More Little Known Facts That Happen to be True
November 8th, 2007 5:58 pm MST
Construction for the Trans-Atlantic bridge will begin in the year 2020. By 2030 it will be possible to drive from Boston to Norway by automobile.
Savvy bargain hunters looking for low cost popcorn generally buy it in the movie theater.
Back in Jr. high school in the early 70's I was told that the metric system would be the big wave of the future and that we'd all better learn it or be left behind. So we did. Judging by how much metrics are used today, (in the USA) I'd say they were right. (i.e. NFL football, milk cartons, height/weight charts, road signs, speedometers, thermometers etc...)
The official state bird of Utah is the crow. The official state bird of Massachusetts is the passenger pigeon.
The rules of the road state that between cars and pedestrians, cars always have the right of way.
Famous heiress Paris Hilton earned every penny of her fortune the old fashioned way. By hard work and due diligence.
A chess board should always be set up so that the dark square corner is by the player's right hand.
Normally when a head coach in any sport is given a "vote of confidence" by ownership or the general manager, it's a good bet that his job is secure for years to come.
Bolivia is known to be one of the leading exporters of the top of the line metal, tin.
Diets have one of the highest rates of success. Obesity is a media myth.
In gambling casinos, slot machines offer the best chances of winning. Famous pop icon Brittany Spears established her fortune through judicious use of these one armed gold mines.
In poker, the chances of being dealt a full house are 50/50. Either you get it or you don't.
What do frequent flyers of major airlines enjoy the most about their flight experience? The food.
Next to the New York Yankees, the Chicago Cubs have been the most successful at winning the world series.
Picking football games vs. the spread is an exact science, much like astrology and cosmetology.
We have broken the sound barrier and the time barrier. Next we will probably break the heat barrier by establishing colonies on Mercury.
You can be sure that all track and field athletes are free of any performance enhancing chemicals as are cyclists, weight lifters and swimmers.
In 1920, famous spelunker Copernicus discovered vast shores of plankton in the Marianas trench, enough to feed the planet for the next century or two.
The Washington Generals have more wins against the Harlem Globetrotters than any other team.
The are conspiracy theories for the JFK assassination and the moon landings. Soon I expect the conspiracy buffs to attempt to prove that World War II never existed.
The one thing the Mafia and the Quakers have in common is their distaste of violence.
Jerry Springer and the late Jerry Falwell are considered to be amongst the top sources of factual information according to Mensa Magazine.
OJ Simpson is very close to locating the real killers.
Hillary Clinton was born and raised in New York. Hillary is to the Big Apple as fire engine is to red.
Irish messiah Whitey Bulger, a South Boston good samaritan of impeccable qualifications does missionary work for the needy in London, England, where he makes his home. In 1985, Whitey Bulger Community College was established in South Boston in recognition of his accomplishments.
Internet inventor and global cooling expert Al Gore warns us that an ice age similar to the one that occurred during the Mezozoic era is imminent within the next 100 years.
For the most part, M2F's pass much better than F2M's.
Old Goats ... 39 Forever
March 11th, 2007 7:12 pm MDT
Recently I stumbled upon a yahoo profile of an attractive blonde genetic woman who I thought was in her 30's. I looked at her age: 99. Hot damn, I thought to myself. I wish I looked half that good when I reached 99, not that I would ever make it that far. She must have one heck of a plastic surgeon.
"Oh, she's not 99," said Biff. *Not 99?* "She obviously doesn't want to reveal her real age." *Well why would anyone not tell their real age?* Biff stared at me wide eyed. "C'mon, haven't you ever heard of teenage kids saying they were 21 just to buy beer? Y'know...fake ID's." ....
Age Inflation. Come to think of it I did ponder running for president of the United States when I was 15 only I knew it would be hard to look 35 even with a fake ID. I guess age inflation had its limits. Still, (as an old goat of 46) people said I looked "good for my age." I wondered if I changed myself to "56" would I then look great for my age?
"You should just change your profile to 39," said Biff. *But I'm 46.* "So what. No one will know the difference." *Oh no?! Well, I would know the difference.* "Yeah but no one else will. Think of the possibilities. Guys will be hitting on you left and right." *But I'm not into guys.* "Well I don't know what it is but when you turn 40, people start thinking of you as OLD." It sounded ominous, like some sort of death sentence. "Besides, you gotta stand up to the younger generation of tgals."
Age Deflation. "Heck, how many gals give their real age anyway?" said Biff. *All of them, right?* "You're not the brightest bulb on the planet, are you? You can't tell me you don't know at least ONE person who finagled their age a bit. Watcha' been smoking???"
Spooky. I did. Around five years ago I took a ts gal out to Jacques for her birthday. This Person In Question (CHAOS) told me she was about five years younger than me making her (at the time) 35 or 36. I never thought that much about it except that CHAOS had a substantial amount of grey hair under that wig. Fast forward four years. I was at a small party and (somehow) CHAOS became the topic of discussion.
"I know CHAOS's real age" said Annie. (a pseudonym) *Really?!* 'Yeah, I heard her mentioning her date of birth on the phone." *How do you know it was her real date of birth?* (wink, wink) "She was talking to the Registry of Motor Vehicles." Oh. Extrapolating her date of birth meant that CHAOS was actually three years older than me. And to think that all this time I thought I had been helping out a "younger" sister. Eerie, as CHAOS had been lying to everyone about her age, (and a lot of other things) not just the online world. (Disclaimer: CHAOS does not have a profile on this site. I don't want anyone to think I'm pointing the finger at anyone here.)
So what now? To be 39 ... or not to be 39... that was the question. Heck, why stop at 39? Why not 36? 32? 22! (Oh please)
"You know what they do to animals that have outlived their usefulness," said Biff. "They put 'em out to pasture. That's why you're thirty-something as far as I'm concerned. Always have been. Always will be."
No thanks, Biff. I'm 46, an old goat and proud of it. So let the tg police in the white coats come and just try to take me away! I'm ready for them. Now where was that acorn crop I was supposed to gather???
CD names you're not likely to see
February 9th, 2007 10:32 pm MST
I don't know about the rest of you but it seems that half the people I meet in this community are named "Stephanie", "Michelle" or "Tiffany." Now there's nothing wrong with these names but really, they have to be the most overused monikers on the planet next to Smith, Jones and Sullivan. It reminds me of the sketch in Monty Python where everyone goes by the name "Bruce".
Goodday, Bruce.
Oh, hello Bruce. How are yer?
Bit Crock, Bruce.
It turned out everyone was Bruce, that is until Michael came along. To avoid "confusion" they changed his name to Bruce as well!
It's not my job to engage in polemics but the next time you meet one of these "Michelle's", you might suggest they change their name to something a bit more original. Like for instance ............
Bertha ... Muffy ... Queenie. How about it? Any takers? No laughing!!! I can almost guarantee you'll be unique! No kidding! Need more choices? How about ....
Ethel ... Gertrude ... Myrtle ... Ruth ... Martha ... Leona ... Eunice ... (I knew a Eunice in grade school...legend has it that this adult chaperone was a squid wrestler) Prudence ... Fanny ... Gretta ... Patsy ... Maude ... Zipporah ... (Zippy?...yes, I saw this name on a time card once) Mindy ... Droxine ... Helga ... Inga ... Sidney ... Hortense ... Gidget ... Ivy ... Betsy ... Hilda ... Beulah ... Agatha ... Agnes ... Regina ... Cookie ... Astrid ... Penelope ... Dottie ... Ramona ... Gaye ... Lydia ... Sybil ... Stella ... Dale .... Betty Lou ... Lucretia ... Glenda ... Lilly ... Priscilla ... Edna ... Violet ... Winnie ... Charlotte ... Blanche ... Elsie ... Bonnie ... Louise ... Florence ... Dorothy ... Kitten ... Gladys ... Henrietta ... Cassandra ... Brunhilde (Broomhilda?) ... Hope ... Beatrice ... Bunny ... Igor (wait a minute, wrong gender) ... Josephine ... Beryl ... Dagmar ... Mildred ... Mortissia ... Harriet ... Mathilda ... Monique ... Millicent ... Blair ... Hyacinthe ... Isabelle ... Peaches ... Daisy ... Lolly ... Dolly ... Molly ... Polly ... Good Golly! ...
What about it readers? Any more original cd names that you can think of?
Little Known Facts That Just Happen to be True
February 1st, 2007 9:39 pm MST
Penguins live in the North Pole.
Asian camels have one hump. African camels have two.
The tiger is the most dangerous predator of northern Africa.
According to the Columbia Encyclopedia, Chihuahuas are members of the rodent family.
World peace will be established by 2015. By 2025, war will be a thing of the past.
Polar bears are most often found at the equator as are the Eskimos.
Pygmies are amongst the tallest tribesman in Africa. The Watutsi are among the shortest.
Pound for pound, squirrels are smarter than humans. Ever see those two legged animals try to keep squirrels out of bird feeders? It's laughable. Bill Adler, author of "Outwitting Squirrels" said, "...squirrel proof is a state of mind. If you can't tolerate squirrels at all, there's no such thing as a squirrel proof feeder..."
Chipmunks have been known to gather as many as 900 acorns per chipmunk per day.
Elvis Presley is still alive. He has been sighted in such diverse places as Timbuktu and Amsterdam.
The Detroit Lions have been the NFL's winningest franchise of the first decade of the new millenium.
Beer is good for the liver.
American kangaroos jump far higher than those from the Caribbean.
2010 will mark the first manned space mission to Mars. Colonies on Mars will be established by 2020. (12/06)
Ted Kennedy never had a drop of alcohol in his life.
The favorite mode of transportation amongst the hardcore environmentalists is the SUV. (Sport Utility Vehicle) SUV's are well known for their great gas mileage and environmentally friendly emissions.
Lawyers and politicians are held in the highest moral regard by the vast majority of the general public.
Congress will balance the budget by 2015.
The tax rate will be lower by the next decade. In 20 years, taxes will be a thing of the past.
After Bill Cllinton left politics, he migrated to Greenland where he started his own goat farm. An outspoken activist for the rights of ruminant Americans, he spends most of his time training goats to chase frisbees.
This is a work in progress. More pearls of wisdom to be added later.
Tgal Bowsers!
November 22nd, 2006 7:03 pm MST
Not that anyone cares but have you noticed the proliferation of websites devoted to really pretty T-Gals? I mean the REALLY PRETTY ones. You know, the gals who do their makeup like Michelangelo and have their lips perfectly lined. 5 inch stilletto heels and flawlessly color-coordinated outfits. The knockouts with knockers.
Come to think of it, I became aware of these websites myself when I received an invitation to join a group, "Foxy TGals". Foxy?? Just what made anyone think I was a fox? Was I the victim of a mass femailing? And if I joined Foxy TGals where did that leave the non-members? Did they form the Canine TGals sorority? Or the Transgender Bowsers??? (and what about "legal aliens?" and "non-passable transsexuals"?) Eager to become a "foxy" lady, myself, I sent my application to the group. Wow, I thought as I scanned each member's profile, they had one exquisite group of ladies here and if I was accepted, I too, would be a "fox". Each member had their telltale handle: FoxyBertha. Pretty_Muffy_CD. SexyQueenie.
As I explored the site further I began to feel a bit distressed. It looked like every gal in that group was over 6' tall and had 5" heels to boot. Stiletto heels. Double D ubercups. 22" waistlines. Mini-mini skirts. Heck, even Erin Brockovich looked like a librarian. Five pounds of makeup and one inch eyelashes. Ultra high gloss lipstick. Fishnet stockings. The ultimate in femininity. They were the few, the proud, the Foxiest of the Foxy. They were so lean they made the average marathon runner look like Jabba the Hut. What did that make me? The Goodyear blimp? Would I have to go on a hunger strike to lose 50 lbs and drop 10 sizes? And maybe some 10" heels? Was it worth going through all these contortions to be a "fox"? Would I be accepted as a "fox" by the other members. Or was I destined to a lifetime of St. Bernardhood? At any rate, this "Foxification of tgAmerica" was beginning to grate on my nerves. Was beauty worth the price of walking on stilts?
On second thought maybe not. But just as I was ruing my decision at having applied to the "little foxes" I stumbled upon the Secret Society of the Ya-Ya-Bowserhood. Eeek! I'd heard of the Ya-Ya-Brotherhood but who'd want to be a dog? Apparently a lot of gals did as their dress code was a bit less stringent (to put it mildly). I found a veritable cornucopia of "Foxy Tgals" rejects, big nosed bimbos and a slew of gals who just wanted a less caricatured look. And heck, it was easy to be a bowser. I bark, therefore I am. I was hooked. A cottage industry of groups had slipped under the radar screen largely due to the tg crowd of "foxy babe wannabees." I was impressed by this underground network of bowser hags who had formed their own organizations: Cosmetically Challenged Tgals, Frumpy or Dumpy?, The Cracked Mirror, Bag Lady International, Prissiest of the Prissy, Ugliest of the Ugly, The Modesty Club... running the entire spectrum of Bowserdom from poodles to great danes.
As a matter of fact they had their own get-togethers, Bowserpaloozas if you will. At one Bowserama meeting they asked me what breed of dog I was. A chihuahua. And by popular applause, I was elected Miss Bowser of the month for May of 2006. As if that weren't heady enough, they nominated me as cover-bowser-girl of the month. Bow Wow! I was having so much fun that it was almost a relief when I received a rejection notice from the Foxy Tgals site: "Thank you for your application to Foxy Tgals. After reviewing your physical stats, we regret to inform you that you do not meet the minimal cosmetic standards of our organization. Perhaps with the aid of facial reconstruction surgery, breast implants, liposuction and a Hollywood makover you can someday become a member of our regal society of the foxiest tgals on the planet." Woah. Why didn't they just come out and say I was fat and ugly. No wonder so many gg's had such an inferiority complex. At least they didn't tell me I needed the laser. Well with 12 yrs. of electro, I hope not.
I stared at my profile with great satisfaction. Bowser and proud of it. Heck, how many foxy tgals wore jeans? I remembered reading a bumper sticker somewhere: Good tgirls go to heaven. Bowsers go everywhere. Woof! Woof! 
Are We Pyschologically Compatible?
June 15th, 2006 5:57 pm MDT
When I was a kid I remember reading a magazine called "Highlights for Children." My favorite column was "Goofus and Gallant." Goofus was the naughty boy who always did the wrong thing and Gallant, the role model for good behavior. A typical Goofus and Gallant pictorial went something like this. 1). Goofus: "C'mon Susie, the science club is boring. Come join us at the chess club." (giggle) ------ Gallant: "Susie, the science club sounds interesting too." Or this. 2). Goofus: "What do you want?!" ----- Gallant: "Did you call me, mother?"
I just read an article stating that "Highlights" came out with its one BILLIONTH copy, not bad for a magazine that started in 1946. Along with its spiffed up colors and graphics, likewise, Goofus and Gallant got an extreme makover with a new artist to bring it into the 21st century. Call me old fashioned but I miss the black and white Goofus of yesterday. He really did look like a thug, not just another mischievous cherry-picking kid. Realizing that Goofus was only a normal ill mannered ruffian and Gallant was an impossibility straight from the goody-two-shoes twilight zone, a friend and I came up with our own Goofus and Gallant episodes some 25 years ago.
Goofus and Gallant: A Reappraisal --- 1). Goofus laughs when Tony is afraid to go down the slide. --- Gallant helps Tony down the slide then goes around the corner and laughs his head off. 2). Goofus gets chocolate all over his fingers. --- Gallant always remembers to eat M&M's. 3). Goofus: "I broke your bat but it was already broken." --- Gallant: "Sorry I broke your bat. I'll take it home and scotch tape it together." 4). Goofus forgets to study and does poorly on the test. --- Gallant forgets to study so he pulls the fire alarm right before the test.
Ok, so what does this have to do with the title to this little blurb? Well if you thought this was funny and it inspired you to come up with a few Goofus and Gallant episodes of your own then it means our brains are on the same wavelength! And yes, regardless of your sex and gender, we may have something in common, psychologically. ...... But if you thought this was inane, foolish, pointless or nonsensical and you're scratching your head (that is, assuming you even got this far) then, well, maybe we can still be friends but our psyches are probably not on the same wavelength. At the very least, our sense of humor is likely to be on opposite sides of the Mason-Dixon line. :-)
Ratings Nonsense
March 24th, 2006 11:05 pm MST
Ratings: Numerical nonsense for the facially challenged. I turned them off two months after they were launched on this site. Some funny stuff going on here behind the scenes. Gangs of girls like to "lowball" the top vote getters at the last minute to bring their ratings down. You also have the usual assortment of multiple (fake) profiles under one person. Oh, yeah, and the "toughlove" ratings voters. Heck, how many of these profiles are real anyway? Ever get a guestbook comment from someone you don't know? Seems like some chicks with too much time on their hands are out soliciting the prostitute vote but hey, it's a free country, right? The whole system is laughably corrupt joke. That's why I did what anyone with half a brain would do while sitting in front of the boob tube. Press the (ratings) button marked "off."
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