Dateline Monday ( I think…lol) Report to the Surgeon General from the bat cave…;p :
WOO F***ing HOO!
Your Foo fighter (against the seriously mundane) is spent…and my legs actually feel weak today…lol
I seriously doubt that my fellow bat girl, (and team leader of the day (the inimitable Miss Crystal Frost) went to work…If she did, I’m pretty certain that the phone is in “we’ll get back to ya” mode…lol
What a truly heroic VIKING tale yesterday was, and you couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day to be at your finest, looking like a movie star & REPRESENT! …to the general inmate population out there!
Let’s just say that the TWO of us were on a “take no prisoners” ransack of the Left Village…HA!
Here’s what you missed (you can kick yourselves later for being dumb ass lazy!...;p)
It was a beautiful start to the race with Crystal & her assembled entourage of contestants lounging on the red carpet outside of the Cowgirl Hall Of Fame…looking like the cast of Sex In the City being regaled by the Press Gang & paparazzi crushed behind the velvet ropes…;))… ;D The sky was bright & clear, and the sun shone brightly… this was brunch with the ladies who meal, and it’s one of the last days of Indian Summer in NYC…just perfect!
I made my way across the street as the crowd parted like the red sea to join the cast of what would prove to be a production of epic proportions…lol
After an appropriate amount of time for the staff to prepare a central feasting table for us inside the totally cute Cowgirl themed jalapeneo popper…lol we were regaled with a superfine protein & carb fuel up while being treated like stars with super sized smiles & service, with seemingly every satellite table giggling at the comedy coming from our banter… ;D
The Bloody Mary's were en eye opener, or closer, depending on your resistance to hot stuff...lol
The Echidna was seriously bruised…lol
…then…. With all jets a go we launched headfirst into the sun, heading due north. A pedal cabbie was seriously smitten & offered us a free ride wherever we wanted to go…which we declined, as a spectacle such as ours needed be circumcised with much more pomp & circumstance…lol (although I was seriously considering the ramifications of what would come of a modern Judah Ben Hur chariot ride through the streets of the Old West…lol ART! is what we are, and such Dandy Warhol’s need to be seen up close to be truly appreciated for our individuality & quality of execution…lol…best appreciated by the serious connoisseur, culture jammers or blatantly inappropriate lesbians…lol The pedal pusher gave us cards though with his cell number saying “anytime, anyplace”…lolol hmm…;p
Our first stop would be Planet Cubbyhole, for a circle jerk under the twinkling mélange of holidaze rotating overhead, taking in the heady vapors of females in heat…lol and being offered complimentary clam chowder…(how appropriate!)…lol The Cubby’s apparently are wanting to give us brunch-ability with them soon too! Excellent!
Next, it was back out for a stroll through the cobblestone streets heading due East to Johnny’s, where the totally friendly low key atmosphere found us in rare form…I haven’t laughed so hard in ages…did I mention the pie? There was pie…lol it came along with us for the laughs somewhere along the way…in a box. There were cruel jokes, but no one got hurt…lol Tess, resplendent behind the bar was beautiful, and her top was quite revealing. It was a cool night and the door was open…lol…I think it moved…;p Crystal’s friend Melissa was really sweet. I explored the inside of her oral cavity looking for answers, but only found more questions the deeper I probed…lolol
We picked up a hitchhiker who didn’t care for darts, golf or curling, I was to find out…lol He was called Robert, and Crystal & I decided he must have been Chinese, as he ping-ponged with serpentarian aplomb between us…lol men are such dogs, you know, not being able to decide which shit smells better, but wanting to take it all in the ass run…lol
THEN!...(got your score cards out?) we continued the flight out of Egypt with the rainbow warrior in tow & headed East & took a hard right straight into Babylon…lol Making the scene at Boots & Saddles was easy, where the serious grinding of the evening now started, as we danced around a plethora of urgently pressing issues…lol, got our freak on…and with a toss of our curls, schwing! we left…always leave ‘em begging for more I say, right…lol Now it was time to cross the street, past the crowd singing show tunes at street level & down into the bowels of the Monster, for some over exposure under the disco ball’s shimmer & the call of the dance floor. ;D Crystal shook it like a white girl, Trish fell hard for a Latino pixie with a 6 pack, and I went into a tail spin with a hungry wolf…lol We were all having lots of fun, when Trish asked me to sing her a song of desire. I decided that she would be able to hear it much more clearly if I sang it directly into her mouth…lol This particular song is tricky… I make it up on the fly of course, but it wound up having several verses, a repeated chorus…and an encore…lol
At this point we lost the hitchhiker, who, had become like peau de soie,… a medium to heavy, drapeable fabric with a soft satin weave and dull finish….lol
There had been, by this point a serious amount of mead drained out of various tanks, and into ours…lol, and we decided to come up for air…and away we went….
…straight back again into the deep house 4/4 at Greenhouse….I love that space, the raw tune-age is fine, the crowd is terribly sexy, and the toilets come with breath mints…lolol We slid across the waxed dance floor under a canopy of foliage back lit & throbbing with a seemingly full room spectrum of wall to wall sound...it comes from everywhere, but you can’t see how…very cool, kinda like being inside a fuzzy navel or ear canal…radical & tubular!…;)) we danced till breathless, and I got mad props for knowing HOW to move my junk flash dance style in 4+ inch heels…Get your bad self down beatch! lol I wanted the Redheaded Emma Peel Doll in a skin tight black body stocking & boots…yummy… ;)) but she kept disappearing … was it live or was it girls on film?… must have been Memorex, but I can never really be sure…lol
Trish is a real trooper, she’s only just above the level of my business, which means it was easy for her to play with my garters…I told her the pleasure was all mine, but I’m not so sure about that…lolol By now I have no fricking clue what time it was, I think it had been called on account of hedonism… too much fun is just enough ya know…;)) The upstairs was in overdrive, and I had serious fear for the safety of my toes, as the room was like a beehive with a fire lit from below… so we decided to fly before getting our wings clipped. ;D
To the surprise of both Crystal & myself, Trish then jumped into a cab with three beautiful strangers, and headed to Amanda Lepore’s party at the Hiro Ballroom. Crystal assured me that she’d be fine as she always lands on her feet. I was a bit concerned as the poor kitten’s frame seemed seriously bent by now…lol She called us later and I THINK anyway, was back in the game & on the prowl in another part of the jungle…lol
We weren’t done yet, as it turned out…ummm…did I mention the word VIKING…lol Now we were headed back north, passing Caliente Cab Company. Crystal suggested that we should get a dozen girls with temporary water weight gain to go in there & flash mob the bathroom…lol I said I’ll drink to that!...lol (if you don’t get it, do some homework…lol)
Flying a bit farther a field found your trusty heroine’s on a strafing run through Duplex & Stonewall when it occurred to us that the Pie had been having such a good time singing “ I will Survive” at Boots & Saddles, that it had fallen behind with the swaggering Cocks & Hens (and Chickens…lol). SO, we decided to go rescue it, as Pies aren’t especially known for carrying loose cab fare…lol Upon entering, the Pie, which by now had done a costume change and had come fully out of it’s shell joined us for a short rendition of Naughty Marietta, and with a stage left, and a deliberately liberal sprinkling of air kisses, we shuffled off into the gaping mouth of the night, giggling like schoolgirls…lol
Where to go where to go!...NEXT!
The not so obvious choice to me anyway, was the Hanger. Along the way I noted that practically every shop had in some form included the execution of tattoos in their business model… tattoos & heavy lifting, tattoos & French Polishing, tattoos & antique sushi bowling, tattoos & sea foam bubble tea for you & a matching mole, half off on Tuesdays! Tattoos AND body art…I suppose that’s like the Big Mac…. Double your signage & brand recognition with excessive fat…lol…comes with a fork with seating for 6 at the table of the elements, with no reservations required!…lol I thought we should get matching Gummi’s glued screwed or tattooed where the sun don’t shine…lol… so much virgin canvas & so little time! Tsk!...lol The Hanger was really loud, with big muscular tribal beats that make you want to throttle your knuffle bunny’s best assets or at least, the most open targets…lol…Let’s just say it was DEFINITELY NOT ladies nite…lol but who cares, we were out to shake things up & get our goddess worship on anyway…lol I’m ready for my scene now Mr. DeMille…lol Crystal knew a guy in there who begged for us to stay, meanwhile, she gave me a look that said “hockey puck”…lol later explaining that this one follows her around like a puppy…lol I didn’t think a jury could possibly convict…lol Crystal’s certainly got that Big Fish Story appeal…lol I did mention dogs earlier didn’t I?...lol Well, enough of the Locker Room so she, me, and the Pie Rushed out the door flaming…lol Paris isn’t the only thing burning…lol We left burnout patches in the street as we careened a hard right down Bedford…lol
Which way did they go which way did they go! Run rabbit’s run!
Well, I have been trying for months to find out what’s going on with Chumley’s, as the phone’s ringing, but no one’s home…Chumley’s is the Doyenne of NYC Speakeasy’s, having successfully been playing Hide & Seek now for almost a century. It’s like a pair of favorite slippers. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe…;D If you don’t know where it is, you probably won’t find it, there’s no sign, no lamp post & the door is forgettable…lol Once inside the door, you are transported into what is most certainly a Dickensian Era British pub. The dark wooded walls are covered with the manuscripts of Lost generation & Beat Generation writers & poets., men of letters, some chicks too…lol …people like EE Cummings , William Faulkner, John Steinbeck, Ring Lardner & Edna St. Vincent Millay… There is also a ghost in there as well, usually, apparently, over by the bar. The floor is covered in sawdust, and there is a huge working fireplace. There are a trio of Hounds of the Baskervilles, ancient beasts that I think came with the property…lol They usually lie in front to the fireplace like stuffed sacks of peanuts roasting slowly in the dry heat…lol The bar has hand pulled ales with curious names of Firemen who fell in the way back, dirty Vicars & other social anomalies & activists. The walls & benches are carved with the names of lovers & spirits past… There’s a juke box with a permanent collection of 78’s…songs from the distant haze, but you can’t expect to hear what you attempt to play. The ghost get’s to work, and the box has a mind on playing what you SHOULD hear…lol and it’s all good…;)) My favorite meal is a lobster tail, with corn on the cob, salad & a biscuit…all for 12 bucks! You just can’t beat that! Anyway, away we went, and looked with intent, but it’s disappeared, vanished! I could cry a river into my beer if I could just get one!...lol Things that old don’t die, or fade away. I asked a migrant beaner in the corner restaurant. He looked at me balefully, and said “It’s gone”. FAK! I’ve been going there for 30 years, and I have to hear it from someone who fell off the turnip truck yesterday morning… it’s just not fair! I’ve done a google search, and found out the truth, and there is hope alive! ;D
ANYWAY, that wasn’t gonna’ work, so us girls held hands with the Pie & skipped town, err, rather around the corner DOWN town…lol We had almost come full circle from where we started, but couldn’t see the finish line just yet…lol Henrietta Hudson’s looked promising. We were back in our element, with the girls…ok, I’m speaking for myself here…lol Our little mini marathon had at this point seen us girls in heels for at least 15 hours, and me the night before as well…I was smart enough to bring a bag big enough to keep a pair of flats in, but Crystal’s combat boots were now barking…lol and we both wanted to sit down somewhere that wasn’t all whistles & gongs…the belles in HH’s sounded like a good landing strip… and so we were let inside the halls of the sisterhood… ;D Unfortunately, there was no seating available, so now we decided to keep the marathon going…lol Crystal suggested that we entertain the sailors in the “straight” bar across the street, but warned that it could be a bad move… I looked at my shoes. I like may shoes. I looked at the Shamrocks in the window. I looked at Crystal. I looked at her throbbing boots. We had the Pie’s well being to think of, so we walked on by…lol Now, we were back at the Cowgirl where we started, but ya know, every good effort takes 110 percent, and the RL Lounge (nee Rubyfruit) was at the far end of the block…we can do this!!!...lol The RL is a place where a girl can get something good & stiff from another girl, at a fair price!...lol The upstairs has been beautifully renovated. It’s clean & cheerful with good lighting & it’s choc’ full of cute women… just my kind of place! Even the butch bunnies are hunni’s…lol There are stylish salon pedestal stools which make you just want a makeover!...lol We got comfy, and then we got engaged…lol no silly, I love Crystal, but I had my little eyes on Diana. She had a killer dancer’s bod, spike heeled boots & a wicked grin… I kept singing in my head “… but you can leave your hat on…lol” She wiggled over to us, and pulled up to the bumper… fun fun FUN! Well, let me tell you…back off she’s mine!...lol Well, maybe ours… but seeing as Crystal is waiting for Selma Hayak, I think I’ll be building a bridge between my island & her brick house starting this week! What a fine ass pect of the Midnight hour!...lol whew! We exchanged cards, and I needed to scratch an itch…it was on her, of course…lol and well, Bob’s your uncle, as the Bishop said to the Actress…lol Well, as happens when two fine T Gals walk into any room, shit happens…lol and Diana HAD to leave with her friend who pretty much dragged her down the stairs…lol Sympathy for the Devil, and all that…lol We will meet again soon , me thinx… ;D Anyway, with one girl down, and more to go, I found a comfy place at the bar next to yet another lovely La Femme Nikita… and decided to get busy…lol I can actually pin point the exact moment when the fire lit in her eyes, when I explained that my brain actually worked exactly like hers, and that I had no genuine interest in boys at all, and that I guess that would make me lesbian too! Granted, it’s possibly Vampyros Lesbos that we’re talking about here, but hey, I can’t help it, I was just born to really suck at some things in life…lolol Crystal as well was having her own petting party, and we were definitely a hit… so much so, that the girl that I was chatting with’s girlfriend dragged her off down the stairs & out as well!...lol Doh! She wanted to stay, and I could have caused the earth to move, but I thought better for her & said that she should leave with her friend… ;D Ok, time to add a bit of new lipstick before trying for the hat trick…lol SO! I va va voomed my way over to the powder room. Once inside, I marveled at the most excellent design of the large well planned space. There was a niche at the far end lit softly with ambient lighting with a vase of Bird’s Of Paradise, which perfumed the air. The walls & floor were of a hewn bluestone, giving the space the feel of a Zen Garden…The Queen Mary..(There just can’t be a John in there, was a sleek curvilinear design which would echo the anatomy of she who would be born from above…;)) The sink, with it’s pedestal of stone and ovular bowl-like stainless steel nest resting on top with a single pistil-like faucet were in harmony with the somewhat oblique trapezoidal shape of the room. It’s not a box…lol As I sat there with my panties between my ankles, the sound of my own fluidity echoed like a stream flowing through a temple in a hidden cave, somewhat like a womb, actually…. Quite reflective all this, for just taking a pee…lol I lifted myself up, and well, you know, tucked in my panties…lol then washed my hands…. Upon turning around, I saw no towels, and no basket… this, made perfect sense for such a Shinto space. The Fung Sui would be utterly ruined if you could possibly mess it up with random intrusions like misfired rimshots on the floor…lol I then spied the hand dryer, which again, made perfect sense… I glided over, ran my hands beneath it & was immediately blasted by hyper-sonics crashing off the walls, creating standing waves that made harmonic dead spots, as the super heated turbo forced air thundered out of the short, cone shaped expeller. Finally, after what seemed far too long after my hands were already dry, it stopped. I fell back, collected the pieces of my shattered psyche, adjusted my garters & combed my hair. THAT, I’m quite sure, was designed by a man…lol
There are 3 things I found interesting at the RL, besides the company, that is…
1) I decided to have a quick peek into the men’s head…lol It was nothing like the women’s, Firstly, it was about half as big…lol the walls didn’t have the same treatment as in the ladies, quite Spartan by comparison. The sink was the same, but the head was most definitely a John…and the place was brightly lit. This, I assume, was an un-verbalized sign saying look before you get your pee shooter out…lol and oh, it was a box, quite boringly predictably rectangular…
2) Of all the places that we went in that catered to the occasional sporting life, the RL was the only place that didn’t put the Tube De Boob behind or above the bar, but rather placed it in a discretionary position in the room which favored social interaction over mindless hypnosis…lol
3) Of all the bars we were in, every one which catered to the more hirsute patrons had their boxes switched on to football. The RL had on the final ALC championship baseball game. Being a Yankee town, and that night being the last crucial game of the series, combined with the fact that baseball is played as much in the head as on the field, it made again, a lot of sense…lol after all, as we know…Diamonds are a girls best friend…lol
By now it was really getting late, and Crystal needed to get home in time to call in sick…lol so, we gathered our things, said our goodbyes to all of the lovelies, and again, hit the pavement…. Tap tap tap, click click click…and now we’re hugging each other at 7th Avenue. I hail a cab, and she’s away to the train with the Pie, (pumpkin, that’s one well traveled vegetable!)…Goddess speed sister, I hope you got home in a jiff… ;D
SO, what can we gain from this run on stream of consciousness? Get a good night’s sleep Saturday night, empty your bank account, expect the unexpected and have a working medical plan in place …lol
My legs have felt like rubber and weak still some 24 hours later, and my ribs still hurt a little from laughing so hard… but these are pains that I’d welcome anytime… ;))
It’s that time of year again, and amateur night is just around the corner… trust me, If you talk the talk, you need to come out & walk the walk with C & B Music Factory when the risk Vs. reward factor is a toss up…lol… we make what you want to do right now…lol
Brunch with the ladies who DO lunch is now a part of the weekly social, so come out with us in NYC & have a gas yas yas… ;))
Love ya Crystal, let’s turn this pig over & roast the other side soon!
After having been extremely active in the online transgender community for a couple of years as the hostess and facilitator of http://www.genderevolve.com/ and genderevolve.blogspot.com , I decided to go offline for awhile to pursue my career. Words cannot express how much I missed you during this time, yet I had to stay very focused to accomplish some of my life goals.
Now that I have achieved a new level of balance in my daily life, I have decided to venture back online and see how you beautiful transladies have been making out this past while. I sense there have been changes in the t-community, there are a lot of new faces, and some very cool new websites too. Yet it seems not everything has changed and there is stability in our online community, as most of my friends are still online and all our favorite sites are still online. It it a welcome relief to find that there is always a place to come home to, no matter how far on different paths our journies take us, we can always return to the source of our sisterhood.
One of the things that encouraged me to come back online was an email from my dear sister Jenna Elizabeth Taylor to the GenderEvolve contributors, entitled "Is Gender Still Evolving?". Her email sparked a flurry of activity and responses in our private Yahoo group forum, which made me delighted to realize there is still so much mutual interest and collaborative spirit among us. As such, I want to take this discussion public and pose the same question to all of our friends in the transgender community at large.
So I would like to ask all of you reading this post... Is Gender Still Evolving?
By this I mean, take your pick of any or all of the following questions:
1) In the past few years, have you personally changed or evolved in your own transgender journey?
2) Has there been any changes in people around you in your family or friends regarding your gender identity?
3) Have there been any events or news that show gender evolution is still happening in society?
4) Do you recommend any new websites, people or groups that have been influential to the trans community over the past few years?
5) Or simply, how the heck have you been Girlfriend?? What's new?
Anyone reading this post is encouraged to respond and share any thoughts, stories, perspectives on this topic. Please don't be shy, we would love to hear from you.
There is no sense in me trying to rewrite something that is this well said. This is from my good friend, ennifer - Love, Suzi
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide By Jennifer Nelson
What’s it like to walk on both sides of the gender spectrum sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman? This is the kind of question that gets asked by those who are naive yet curious. My answer, as a transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.” Though I have a male body, for as long as I can remember, I have thought of myself as female. I hide it well, even though I don’t relate well to guys doing guy things. My heart aches to have a doll collection. When I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are; “how can I be more like her.” Men and women are truly different. In body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking across the gender spectrum, probably 99.9% of men are congruent with being men and 99.9% of women are congruent with being women. These men have absolutely no interest in putting on a dress and the women have no interest in being men. Their gender and sex are congruent.
This is at the heart of the misunderstanding the general public has about us as transgendered women. They have no comprehension of what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No pun intended.) They can't even imagine it. Many are even revulsed by the idea because it is so foreign to who they are. What woman would want to be a man? What man would want to be a woman? Yet here we are, women on the inside struggling to make the person we see in the mirror congruent with our inner selves. Being married and transgendered further complicates the situation. On the one hand our spouses have expectations of us as men and specifically as husbands. On the other hand we are transgendered. Denial, purges, prayer, nothing seems to change who we are inside.
I was once scolded by one of my wife’s friends who had heard that I sometimes wore women’s clothes. If she only knew. I had no interest in getting into a discussion with her but she did get me thinking about how could I ever explain my conundrum? How can this make sense to those who are congruent as males or females? Imagine, as a mind game, that a beautiful genetic woman is made to look like a man; short hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry, no earrings, takes testosterone, has no breasts, grows a beard or shaves every day wears male clothes lowers her voice and walks like a soldier. Next, she's told this is who she is for the rest of her life which means, among other things, that all her relationships will change. Other women will look upon her as a man; i.e., one of them, useful but not girl friend material. She will also now have to relate to men as one of them. Remember that through all of this, in her mind, she is still a woman. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time she puts on her clothed every time she comes in contact with another person, who she is and who she appears to be are in diametric opposition. This is truly a recipe for disaster. Welcome to being transgendered.
This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006: “I can't express how much I appreciated your artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize the woman smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman, young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and sophisticated looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for the rest of the day was real, I felt like I've never felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was the woman I had always dreamed I could be. Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw this same beautiful woman smiling back at me. Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my face to a totally new level. Your color palette is so different from what I've been using that I'm going to have to get the complete MAC kit before I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have so much to learn but the wonderful result you showed me gives me the encouragement to get started. Amanda, you've turned the clock back 30 years! I want to look spectacular.
“Last year I watched a reality program called the Swan, where a group of women who considered themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc., never seeing themselves in a mirror until the final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful women they had become. Watching the program I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I truly know how they felt because I too was that woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in various outfits, is a wonderful remembrance of the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful gown has always been a fantasy that has now been given life. Thinking back over the day and reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy. “The need for congruence as a woman is very strong.”
Read the second article in the first newsletter and the second and third articles in newsletter that follows. I left the newsletters in so you had a better idea on where then came from - Suzi
ACCESS TO ENERGY A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter NOVEMBER 2007 (Vol. 35 no. 4), Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523 Copyright 2007 by Access to Energy Adaptation Empirical evidence supporting the hypothesis of biological "evolution" is meager at best This hypothesized phenomenon is experi-mentally unobservable and. therefore, not validated. Many of the outstanding scientists I have known - from atheists to Christians -quietly subscribe to some form of "intelligent design." "Quietly" is the operative word here because American academia has become increasingly uninhabitable for those who do not appear to conform to current politically correct trends.
"Adaptation." however, is easily observable and constantly in evidence. Each living species contains very great variation within its genes - biological variability between individuals of the same species. This allows species to adapt to changing'conditions.
A remarkable example of this is found in bacteria that require the essential amino acid tryptophan in their diets. If tryptophan is eliminated from their diet, the entire colony of bacteria quickly gains the ability to make it. If tryptophan is returned to the growth medium, then the bacteria colony loses the ability to make it.
Without dietary tryptophan or the ability to make tryptophan, the colony would die. If tryptophan is supplied, however, there is a competitive advantage in not using resources to make tryptophan. In each case, a few bacteria with the opposite talent remain in the colony. If their particular ability becomes advantageous, their progeny quickly dominate the colony.
Evolutionists like to describe such phenomena as micro-evolution - the colony evolving back and forth driven by survival of the fittest. Survival is driving this process, but it has nothing to do with evolution. Biological variation - or "diversity," to use a popular politically correct word - is present in all living species. This assures that the species survive under widely varied conditions. This diversity can take the form of individuals of different abilities or of biochemical systems that measure the environment and change individual biochemistry to adapt to conditions as needed
The United States Constitutional Republic was constructed in such a way as to take advantage of a similar phenomenon. With many separate semi-autonomous states, errors made by one state government were unlikely to be made simultaneously by the others. People and resources- flowed back- and forth between these largely independent states in accordance with the wisdom of their policies.
For example, if one state debased its currency and another maintained honest money, market competition would have soon ended the debasement. With, however, the vast growth of centralized power in Washington, this advantage has been substantially lost. An error in Washington affects the whole.
Still, the process of adaptation is nevertheless at work. Through excessive governmental taxation, regulation, and litigation, the United States has been rendered a poor environment for energy and manufacturing industries. So, these activities have flowed to other nations that have not been as unwise. In this way the community of nations - the political species - has gained survival capabilities through adaptive survival of the fittest. The human race has an abundance of energy and manufacturing even though it is increasingly no longer located in the United States. Survival of the fittest is therefore diminishing American prosperity and power.
Now, however, international elitists want to impose tyrannical control over the entire community of nations. The human-caused global warming propaganda drive is an effort to transfer power to tax and ration energy into an international body that will thereby control the energy and technology of all nations. Aside from its immoral and unethical aspects, this diminution of the independence of nation states contains great peril for the human race.
While Al Gore and retainers regale the public with fear of global warming, NASA scientist David Hathaway is predicting the opposite. John Casey, Director of the NASA Space Science Research Center, has confirmed that their research indicates an impending return to Earth temperatures as low or lower than prevailed during the Little Ice Age that occurred about 200 to 300 years ago. See http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10may_longrange.htm and also www.spaceandscience.net.
These NASA studies indicate that the solar cycle beginning between 2015 and 2020 may have unusually low activity - similar to that which contributed to the Little Ice Age. Accurate predictions of future weather are not yet possible. The actual temperature could rise or fall - no one knows this future.
If, however, a member of the current crop of political opportunists running for U. S. President is elected - rather than Ron Paul, the energy deficit in the United States will seriously worsen. All of these people have endorsed the human-caused global warming. United Nations agenda. So, if NASA is right, Americans are going to be very cold and miserable beginning about 10 years from now. While we could easily cool the Earth with the Penner-Teller procedures, we have no means with which to warm it.
Should the fears of misinformed and over-governed Americans be allowed to drag Asia and Africa into the same disaster? If energy production is unregulated - controlled by free enterprise or at least by separate nation states, then some of the world's people will not be energy poor if colder weather comes.
Without an immediate revival of the American hydrocarbon and nuclear energy industries - made possible by government withdrawal of the oppressive taxes, regulations, and litigation that currently prevent this, Americans will be very short of energy 10 years from now. Energy for heat and for mitigating technology is the only human response available to lower temperatures.
It has always been thus. The man who hikes into the winter mountains without warm clothing may freeze to death. He has, however, no moral right to demand that everyone else also leave their cold weather gear behind. Freedom to be different is an inherent human right. Freedom also confers important adaptive survival characteristics for the entire human race.
CURING THE INCURABLE Thomas E. Levy's book, Curing the Incurable, Livon Books, 2002, is largely a review of the work of Frederick R. Klenner, M.D., and other related discoveries. Dr. Klenner began medical practice in 1940. He soon became interested in research carried out in the 1930s, which showed that vitamin C could kill viruses "in vitro," outside of living things.
Frederick Klenner discovered two things. First, vitamin C can be given to humans in enormous oral and intravenous doses over short to medium time intervals without serious harm - long-term very high doses may be an exception. Second, very high doses of vitamin C, especially given intravenously, are remarkably effective in curing serious viral and bacterial infections, and even poisonous snake bite. Klenner reported that he cured 60 out of 60 polio patients during the polio epidemic of 1948 with vitamin C.
Klenner's work found its way into the alternative medicine industry in the 1950s and 1960's. Nutrition gurus such as Adele Davis and Carlton Fredricks advertised Klenner's findings to their followers. This led to the ingestion of supplementary doses of vitamin C by many Americans.
When Irwin Stone - on the basis of Klenner's work - first convinced Linus Pauling in 1967 to personally take 3 grams of vitamin C per day, Linus began to read the literature on vitamin C and to write summary articles and books about it. Klenner was delighted, thinking that Pauling's entrance into the field would lead to much greater recognition of his own, pioneering work. In this, Klenner was to be disappointed.
Pauling was willing to work closely with people whose work did not predate his own, but Klenner had 25 years of precedence in the field - which would overshadow Pauling. He referenced Klenner, but had very little interest in working with him.
This historical and personal interplay was unfortunate because Klenner's most important discoveries received too little attention, and Pauling's claims that "75% of all cancer can be prevented or cured by vitamin C alone" distorted the field away from some of the true merits of vitamin C.
Initially in the 1970s, I had little interest in Klenner's work. Working closely with Pauling, I tended to be influenced by his interests. Then, students working in my laboratory at UCSD discovered that vitamin C, in the presence of air, quickly destroys peptide and protein molecules. As a result, I asked Stanford graduate student Steve Richeimer to investigate the mechanism of this process.
Richeimer found that aerobic oxidation of vitamin C leads to free radicals and peroxides, which destroy peptides and proteins. We also found earlier published work showing a similar result, wherein vitamin C plus oxygen destroyed the integrity of DNA molecules. Later studies showed that these reactions also occur "in vivo," in living things. These findings were personally unfortunate for Richeimer, whose work was quickly terminated by Pauling in actions that seriously damaged his career.
In any case, Richeimer and I published a short paper suggesting that the oxidation products of vitamin C may have a significant positive value in biological systems - and Fredrick Klenner's work began to interest me more.
Klenner used doses of vitamin C very far beyond those found in ordinary biological systems. Moreover, his results were startling. Poisonous snake bite? Snake venoms are peptides. Peptides are chemically destroyed by the oxidation products of vitamin C. Viruses? Viruses are simple packages of DNA and protein, both of which are chemically destroyed by these same oxidation products. Bacteria could be similarly affected. Human cells and molecules would, of course, also be affected, but these are easily replaced within human tissues.
Did we now understand the mechanism of action that led to Klenner's results? Possibly, but by no means certainly. It is often the case, especially in fields as complex as biochemistry, that a hypothesis leads to experiments and procedures that turn out to be useful -even though the hypothesis turns out to be wrong.
It is also the case that outstanding empirical medical results are frequently ignored because they are not understood within the framework of ordinary medical training and orthodoxy.
Klenner's empirical results, however, stand on their own. They need not be understood to be of value. They have the potential to save many, many lives.
I strongly recommend that each reader of Access to Energy obtain a copy of Curing the Incurable by Thomas Levy - even if you just put the book on a shelf without reading it. Then, if you or someone for whom you are responsible is afflicted with a dangerous viral or bacterial infection - such as the infections that often kill elderly people, take the book from your shelf and read it. Klenner's procedures, especially those involving very high intravenous administration of vitamin C, might very well save a life. In any case, Klenner's discoveries provide an additional reason for hope.
Read the second and third articles ACCESS TO ENERGY A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter MARCH 2008 (Vol. 35 no. 8) Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523 Copyright 2008 by Access to Energy
Clathrate Hydrates Contrary to many popular accounts, there is absolutely no shortage of hydrocarbon resources in the United States. Besides large amounts of undrilled oil, the U.S. has enormous reserves of natural gas and essentially unlimited quantities of coal - 25% of the world supply. Oil shale is also abundant. Moreover, these resources can be converted into one another with ease.
For example, the liquefaction of American coal into oil could produce more oil per year than Saudi Arabia - for at least 200 years. Coal liquefaction, used by Germany to fuel its military during World War 11 and now used in South Africa, might be best done today with nuclear power. In any case, this is relatively simple to do with well-developed technology. Similarly, natural gas can be converted to oil, as is now being done on an industrial scale in the Middle East.
The shortage of hydrocarbon energy in the U.S. today - leading to high prices and a debilitating trade deficit - has been entirely caused by the paper-shuffling mob in Washington. Politicians have created a nightmare of taxation, regulation, and litigation that has prevented sufficient free-enterprise development of American hydrocarbon resources. If freedom were returned to our industrial environment, inexpensive and abundant domestic hydrocarbon energy would be available to Americans for several centuries.
Moreover, that "several centuries" is actually "several millennia" when methane clathrate hydrates are considered. In the authoritative book, Clathrate Hydrates of Natural Gases - Third Edition by E. Dendy Sloan and Carolyn A Koh, CRC Press, 2008, a review of estimates of U.S. and world methane clathrate hydrates is provided.
The current total annual energy consumption of the United States in methane, CH4, equivalents is estimated to be about 1 x 1012 cubic meters, m3, at standard temperature and pressure. The best current estimate of U.S. reserves of methane in clathrate hydrates - 1% in permafrost and 99% in the coastal oceans - is 9 x 1015 m3. This is enough methane to power the United States at its present energy use for 9,000 years. The 95% confidence limits of this estimate lie be-tween 3,000 and 19,000 years.
So, with already-developed technology, the U.S. can be self-sufficient in hydrocarbons for several centuries. By developing methane recovery methods for use with clathrates, this can be extended to several thousand years. Commercial methods for recovery of methane from clathrate deposits are already significantly along the way to practicality - both in the U.S. and in India and China..
Moreover, it is clear already that - if technological freedom is restored and maintained in the U.S. - conversion of most energy production to nuclear processes should occur during the 21st Century. Nuclear fuel resources are sufficient for tens of thousands of years.
At or beyond defined temperature and pressure, water freezes into ice - the usual form with which we are familiar. If, however, easily polarizable molecules of appropriate sizes are dissolved in the water, a different ice forms. This "clathrate" ice contains special cavities into which are fitted the solute molecules. Bonding of the solute molecules to the water increases the stability of the ice, so that it melts at a higher temperature than ordinary ice. Dissolved ionic substances such as ordinary salt interfere with ice formation. Also the shapes of the solute molecules affect stabilization, so there is much theoretical and empirical science associated with this subject.
As methane from biological and geological sources percolates into cold permafrost and oceanic regions, very large deposits of methane clathrate ices are formed.
The clathrate ices were discovered in the early 19th Century by Davy and Faraday and were fairly well understood before the beginning of the 20th Century. As natural gas transmission lines were built in the early 20th Century, it was found that formation of clathrate ices frequently caused plugging in these pipes, so clathrate chemistry became a standard component of pipeline engineering.
An interesting classroom demonstration can be constructed - featuring a piece of methane clathrate ice that burns like a candle. Since living things are largely composed of water, clathrate structures are also important in biochemistry. Already at Caltech in the 1960s, clathrate structures in biochemical systems were under study. See, for example, Robinson, A.B., Manly, K.F., Anthony, M.P., Catchpool, J.F., and Pauling, L., Anesthesis of Artemia Larvae: Method for Quantitative Study, Science 149 (1965) 1255.
The Miller-Pauling hypothesis of general anesthesia holds that general anesthetics function by organizing the water in living things into clathrate structures. All living things from swimming one-celled algae to human beings can be anesthetized by general anesthetics such as xenon, which fits clathrate cavities well and is an excellent anesthetic, or methane, which fits less well so is a poorer anesthetic.
The extra stabilization provided to clathrate ices and clathrate solvent structures arises from van der Waals dispersion forces between the included compounds and water. These forces are proportional to the polarizability of the included compound and also to the geometrical fit of that compound in the clathrate cavities.
The structure of water around protein molecules and other biological structures probably involves extensive clathrate structures, which play an essential part in biochemical processes. This field of specialization has, however, never been of much interest to the paper-shufflers who control tax-funded research grants - to which most academic scientists are addicted. So, research on biochemical clathrates has progressed very slowly.
Your body is filled with beautiful clathrate-like water structures similar to those which, as fully-formed ice, contain vast deposits of permafrost and oceanic methane.
Clathrate methane will likely not be used enough to appreciably diminish the supply - especially since we should change to abun-dant, inexpensive nuclear power in the near future. Its presence, however, is one more reason to ignore the misguided priests of "peak oil." The real issue is "peak hydrocarbons." This peak is at least thousands of years in the future - probably never.
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FEEDING CANCER "Vitamin C Megadoses Hamper Cancer Treatments in Mice" by Randy Dotinga in The Washington Post, October 1, 2008, reports research published by Mark L. Heaney of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City and his colleagues in which they found that vitamin C interferes with cancer chemo- therapy in mice. The mice were given the human equivalent of 2 grams of vitamin C per day. This reduced the effectiveness of chemotherapy by between 30% and 70%.
Medical "science" progresses very slowly. Part of the reason for this is that it is dominated by people trained in the application of current medical procedures to individual patients.
To be sure, hundreds of thousands of men and women trained in current medical procedures are necessary. Their skills and educations as MDs are extensive and essential, so they well deserve to be highly respected and generously rewarded.
People who are best able to discover and develop new knowledge require, however, markedly different talents and educations.
A research physical scientist carries, in his brain, a model of the systems in which he specializes. Each and every relevant experimental discovery must be consistent with his model. If an inconsistency arises, the model must change to accommodate it. Everything must conform to experimental reality.
In physics, if an experimental observation is made and is found to be rigorously repeatable, then it is considered a fact of nature. Physical theory must accommodate it. It cannot be ignored.
In medical research, however, most work is not rigorous in this way. If an observation is unusual or not in accord with currently accepted dogma, it is often rejected - for that reason alone.
In 1978, my coworkers and I made the discoveries summarized in Figure 1. See, Robinson, A.B, Hunsberger, A., and Westall, F.C., Mechanisms of Ageing and Development 76 (1994) 201-214. The graph shows the number of squamous cell carcinoma lesions in mice as a function of vitamin C intake. Cancer - pathologically identical to that found in humans - was induced in these mice by means of UV light, just as it is induced in humans. Humans eat about one kilogram of food per day, so the human equivalent dose is numerically the same as grams per kilogram in the mouse food.
The number of lesions at one point in the experiment shown in Figure 1, as delineated in greater detail in our research publication, measures the rate of growth of the cancer.
The cancer growth rate was found to be about 100% higher in 100 mice receiving the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day, as compared with mice that did not receive a supplement. At, however, true megadoses of 50 grams per day or higher, vitamin C reduces the cancer growth rate. A diet of raw fruits and vegetables also markedly reduces it. The dietary reduction has an advantage, since doses of vitamin C of 200 grams or greater are fatal to some of the mice. It is better not to be so close to a lethal limit - but, for seriously ill patients, this is justified.
The reported Sloan-Kettering work is almost certainly just a repeat of our finding that the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day increases the growth rate of cancer. They used a 2 gram human equivalent and found that the cancer grew faster than expected during their chemotherapy.
We published this result 14 years ago. In physical science, discoveries are not ordinarily forgotten for 14 years and then rediscov-ered. The Journal in which we published was Mechanisms of Ageing and Development - an old and very respected publication. Better, however, would have been the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, PNAS. Our paper was actually reviewed and submitted to PNAS by Martin Kamen, R. B. Merrifield, and B. Strehler. By the ordinary rules, that submission and recommendation should have meant automatic publication.
PNAS has, however, a special procedure in which any paper with potential medical implications must also pass a designated board of MDs. These MDs rejected the paper - nutrition and cancer not being a mainstream part of current ordinary medicine.
Our publication reported that the rate of growth of squamous cell carcinoma in mice can be varied over a 20-fold range by means of diet alone! Ho-hum. Medicine might become interested if the same thing is rediscovered several times over a period of 50 years.
In an age of ascendency of science and engineering, fields of specialization that depend upon this progress can advance very rapidly -but only if the people in these fields accept this advance. It is not this way in medicine. This is the reason I write medical "science" - with quotation marks. Sometimes it is a science and sometimes it isn't. When it isn't, unnecessary human suffering and death is the result.
HEALTH PROFILING In the review article "Revolutionizing 21st Century Medicine with Consumer-based Diagnostics and the Internet," J. American Physicians and Surgeons 12, 1, Spring 2007, which was sent to all Access to Energy subscribers, we discussed the advantages of application of modern technology to the quantitative measurement of human health. This work involves extracting quantitative information from human tissues and fluids and computationally analyzing it. This review article gives 21 references to the scientific literature that chronicle our work in this field.
Useful information can be extracted from whole body scans, biopsies, compilations of symptoms, blood analysis, urine analysis, and other sources. All of these are used in one form or another by "modern" medicine - but most of their techniques are technologically far out of date. Constrained by the medical monopoly and stifling government control of most health research, diagnostic medicine has fallen many decades behind technological advance.
This is going to change - although, unless the government-caused de-industrialization and de-capitalization of the United States is reversed, these advances will more likely be made in other countries.
As analytical apparatus is miniaturized and reduced in price, and as research using this apparatus advances, some people living now may well see a time when the air in the rooms in which they live is continuously monitored - with the information obtained used to extend their lives by many years and to markedly reduce their suffering due to ill health. The technology to do this exists now, but it is expensive, and it has not been applied to this problem.
In the nearer term and with the capital still available to Americans, the best substitute is regular urine analysis - by methods that are not now and are not likely in the future to be available from the American medical monopoly, without outside intervention.
Our work on this problem has inched forward to the point that we expect to be ready - by early 2009 - to test new techniques of urine analysis that we have developed.
Usually such tests involve sample sets that are impractical for widespread use. The samples are gathered in specialized ways from unusual groups of people. The end products of the laboratory work are research papers - published in the research literature, but rarely utilized in a practical way. We prefer to avoid this trap.
So, we have decided to ask the readers of Access to Energy to participate. Participation will require that the individual send to us - at regular 3-month intervals - a few drops of his urine. We will provide small vials and shipping containers for this purpose.
In addition to the urine samples, we will need to know the individual's sex and age and to know about specific serious illnesses that he has experienced in the past and illnesses that he experiences during his participation in the experiments. This will involve a health questionnaire similar to that ordinarily filled out in a doctor's office.
Everything - the questionnaire and the analyses - will, of course, be kept rigorously confidential.
In return, the participant can expect nothing other than the satisfaction of having helped with this research. We do not suggest that we will find information in his samples that will benefit him.
We are still refining our analytical and computational procedures. A few months from now, we will send out sample containers.
If you or someone you know would like to participate in this study, please send a note to the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, 2251 Dick George Road, Cave Junction, OR 97523. You will not hear from us immediately. Eventually, however, each per-son who volunteers will receive a sampling kit along with the necessary Questionnaire.
Jenna Elizabeth September 7th, 2008 10:47 pm MDTLocal film maker Michelle Farrell will be screening her homegrown documentary at the Local film maker Michelle Farrell will be screening her homegrown documentary at theNew York International Independent Film and Video Festival OPENING NIGHT THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 18th - Unraveling Michelle Screening Saturday 4pm. The OPENING NIGHT PARTY and art/film market at MANSION ON THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH brings participating filmmakers, producers and artists together. Designed as an "open-air" market, the whole spectrum of the film, art and entertainment industry will be invited to attend thus creating a valuable opportunity for NYIIFVF and NYIAF participants to promote their projects and network with relevant industry professionals. Details: MANSION 530 W. 28TH STREET BETWEEN 10TH AND 11TH AVENUE 6PM-MIDNIGHT, Strict dress code: NO T-SHIRTS, JERSEYS, SWEATS, SNEAKERS AND BASEBALL HATS 21 and over only. No Exceptions http://www.nyfilmvideo.com/2008/ny-fall-2008/presrelease/opening-night.htm AFTER-PARTIES: Each night the festival will host after-parties at some of the best venues in New York. A list of our after-parties will be posted on www.nyfilmvideo.com and will also be listed in the program. We are doing our very best to get everyone in for free but venues marked with *** in the program schedule do have a reputation for being very trendy and upscale. We are also guests of the club. You must dress appropriately. NO T-SHIRTS, SNEAKERS, JERSEYS, BASEBALL HATS, BAGGY JEANS, SWEATS, ETC. ALL AFTER-PARTIES ARE FOR 21 AND OVER ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS. PLEASE KEEP YOUR VIP PASS ON YOU AT ALL TIMES AT THE AFTER-PARTIES. Please email Annalisa San Juan at annalisa@itndistribution.com if you have any questions regarding the after-parties. REMEMBER, for 12 dollars(advance ticket) you get a movie and a party. Unraveling Michelle will be screened on Saturday 9/20 at 4pm. I hope that you can come up to support our documentary.
I'm not into conspiracy theories but I do believe that lots of stuff happens because of $. Follow the money on this one and then tell me what you think?
This is long but if you have diffuse symptoms (chronic
illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, lupus, multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's
disease-illnesses) or know someone who does, it is worth the time. Likewise, if
you ever have a desire for a diet drink it is a must see - Suzi
Wow! I didn't even KNOW that Jahna Steele died late last month, January 24, 2008 to be exact!!! Did notice of her death appear on any of the leading news outlets or web news portals???
Gini Marie Macrae February 9th, 2008 10:49 pm MSTSo... I've been reading some blog/journal entries and some message board posts dealing with the issue of "sex by yourself" or "the M word" or whatever you want to call it! Seems it BOTHERS quite a few --even some accepting-- GGs that more than a few of us "wanna be" girls resort to auto-erotica or "sex for one" as part of our feminine experience. It's not that I ALWAYS do it, but when I'm wearing my incredibly sensuous layered pink negligee, I find myself thinking "I wanna be f*cked... I want to have my body caressed while it's bathed in nylon tricot... I wanna be warm and wet between my legs!" Well, the simple facts of reality are that my SO would NEVER want to be with me when I'm "dressed for sex" and the only way for me to experience something remotely resembling what a GG might feel is to have sex by myself. I have no problems with a GG --dressed similarly-- treating herself to "sex for one" to the point of climax. After all, there's a REASON my negligee feels SO DIFFERENT than --say-- an old cotton nightshirt! But the only thing I know --as a GB-- is that my "real anatomy" dictates that it has to be "different for boys" than it is for girls. The closest I can get to experiencing the desire to "be f*cked" is to enjoy "sex for one" the only way I know.
Alexis Jane Mathews January 14th, 2008 2:41 pm MSTWell it's 2008 . As always gonna push that little bit further. Still looking for a bondage and photo friend any girls who are interested drop me a line
In our everyday life we are surrounded by a variety of people. Some of the people we deal with on a daily basis are a joy to be with, and their loving presence nurtures and encourages us. Others may have the opposite effect, draining us of our energy, making us feel tired and exhausted. Our well-being can be easily influenced by those around us, and if we can keep this in mind, we will have greater insights into the quality of our social interactions and their energetic effect on us.
Once we think more deeply about the people we interact with, it becomes easier for us to work toward filling our lives with people who help us cultivate healthy and positive relationships. Even though it might not always seem like we have much control over who we are with, we do. The power to step back from toxicity lies within us. All we have to do is take a few moments to reflect on how another person makes you feel. Assessing the people we spend the most time with allows us to see if they add something constructive to, or subtract from, our lives. Should a friend sap our strength, for example, we can simply set the intention to tell them how we feel or simply spend less time with them.
We will find that the moment we are honest with ourselves about our own feelings, the more candid we can be with others about how they make us feel. While this may involve some drastic changes to our social life it can bring about a personal transformation that will truly empower us, since the decision to live our truth will infuse our lives with greater happiness.
When we surround ourselves with positive people, we clear away the negativity that exists around us and create more room to welcome nurturing energy. Doing this not only enriches our lives but also envelopes us in a supportive and healing space that fosters greater growth, understanding, and love of ourselves as well as those we care about.
Jenna Elizabeth January 2nd, 2008 10:06 pm MSTI wanted to let ALL of my URNA friends know, the Brielle Echo Whitney is offically an AARP card carrying member as we speak! She passed everso graceouslessly into geriatical care under the watchful eye of her wet nurse. Those wishing to "pay court" to her can do so at the Brooklyn Gardens for Senior Development. And remember, no loud noises during Jeopardy!
My name is Virginia (Gini) Marie MacRae and I’m from sunny Southern California, in the North County area of San Diego to be exact.
A girl isn’t supposed to give away her age, but I’ll make an exception in this case and tell you that I am every bit of 53! I was born in San Diego, CA in September of 1954, even though I list Gini’s birthday as April 1 on the Internet in the interest of having a little fun with April Fool’s day.
I’m fortunate enough to be relatively small (WISH I were smaller!) at 5’ 8” and 158#. I can wear a size 12 dress, size 9 shoes, and I can get into 29” Levis. If it weren’t for my shoulders, I could probably wear a size 10 dress.
I can’t tell you EXACTLY when I became acutely aware of “the girl inside,” but I do know that there was a catalyst and a seminal event in my young girlie life at the age of nine. My dear Mother had taken something of mine away from me (I don’t even remember what!) and I was convinced that she’d hidden it in her dresser. Well, the first drawer that I opened was her lingerie drawer! I didn’t find what I was looking for, but Pandora’s Box was opened wide! I discovered a beautiful powder blue Vanity Fair panty girdle, complete with garters, and something powerfully drew me to it, I touched it, took it from the drawer, and I HAD to try it on! And try it on I did! Intuitively (from having spent time watching my Mother dress and do her makeup at her vanity), I knew that a beautiful woman always wore stockings! I found a pair of “real” nylons in her drawer and I knew exactly how to attach them to the garters. At that moment, I KNEW that I would spend the rest of my life craving and enjoying the luxuries of femininity.
As a youngster, I was always drawn to femininity even though I did the typical GB things like play football and baseball, watch wrestling on television, and enjoy the usual boy hobbies. But I was very curious about “girl things” and I would watch enviously as the girls in my class became old enough to wear bras, nylons, and high heels. I really felt that those “rights of passage” should have been my privileges too!
As a teenager, I “owned” (make that borrowed) many items of lingerie from my Mother’s dresser. She never let on that she knew, but she HAD TO KNOW when a pretty nylon negligee went missing for days and days! As a young lady, I enjoyed sleeping in layered tricot negligees and --to this day—I treasure the nights that I can spend in bed with my body bathed in layers of sheer nylon!
At the age of 20, I made the classic TG mistake of getting married to my high school girlfriend, thinking that my love of and desire to express my femininity would diminish! But, as Rocky the Squirrel says to Bullwinkle the Moose, “But that trick never works!!!” And it didn’t! We were married 8 years before the opportunity presented itself for an amicable “parting of the ways.”
I married again ten years later, and while my new wife knows about my transgender side and TRIES to accept it, she has not been and will likely never be willing to see me as Gini, let alone participate in that aspect of my life.
So, Gini typically gets to come out only when I have the opportunity to travel and visit Karen at Femme Fever (New York) or Amy at Glamour Boutique (Las Vegas)or the fabulous Stephanie Williams (Las Vegas) who did my latest glamour session with me modeling my VERY short Bebe mini dress!
My public outings have all been in Las Vegas. I remember the first time like it was yesterday! That incredible memory of walking into the old Elvis! club on Sahara Boulevard and spending the evening in the company of Amy and her friend Sheila is one that I will treasure forever!
I have always been drawn to pretty dresses, nylons, and high heels. I enjoy the process of making myself look pretty … from choosing the right lingerie, to my clothes, my makeup, my hair, and my nails. The ritual of transformation is powerful to me! There’s a definite magic to it that makes me really feel like I “belong,” that the woman I become is the woman I truly am. When I see my face and my smile in my glamour photos, I see a happiness and contentment that I NEVER see in my GB pictures,
I’ve got to say that my feminine experience has covered many aspects of the so-called “gender continuum.” As a young lady, I would probably have been classified as a crossdresser, even though I was always drawn to the thought and desire to BE a woman! I’m definitely more to the transgender side of the continuum at this point in my life, although given my relationship status and the fact that there’s a darling little daughter in our family, I will probably have to compromise and not go down the road of transition unless something unforeseen happens.
But, having said all that, mentally I’m more and more drawn to an intense inner knowledge that I SHOULD BE a woman! I “tolerate” my natural gender, and that’s about it. When I am intimate with my wife, it’s impossible for me not to think of wearing what the girls would call their “f*ck me clothes!” I long to have big, beautiful, and full breasts. I dream about being a girl “between my legs.” But I KNOW that there’s no way I will ever be able to enjoy physical contact with a GB! So I guess I’m happily trans-lesbian!!!
As for 2008, I have many “goals” for Gini, some reachable, some probably not reachable! I would like to walk down the Las Vegas strip as Gini and go into Wynn or Bellagio and “fit right in.” I would like to pose for glamour shots in a wedding dress. I would like to do a lingerie modeling session/photo shoot. I would like to compete in a transgender beauty pageant. I would like to share Gini with some of my closest friends. I would like to wear a strapless dress and look good in it. I would like to wear a baby doll top and tight fitting jeans and look good in them! I would like to feminize my breasts. I would like to start hormone therapy. I would like to explore SRS!
Happy New Year and blessings to YOU, my dear girlfriends!
Jenna Elizabeth August 30th, 2007 10:26 pm MDTAs I gear up for my 4th SCC, I have the opportunity to reflect on my personal journey of the last 4 years.
By 2003, I had come to terms with the fact I was transgendered. Even though I could not quantify the cause, I accepted it as part of my nature. It had been since the tender age of 6. Years of guilt and shame had taken its toll and I was ready for a change. Many things had transpired in the preceding year. My last relationship(HST i.e. hostage taking situation....) had ended in miserable failure. I was finally on my own, and, as I found to be later, on my way. New job, new income status, and new freedom allowed me to express this identity in a safer environment.
As these planets all came into alignment I found less than a harmonic convergance. The more exposed I was to the multivalent construal known as transgenderism, the less shielded I was to its stark divisions. I knew I was transgendered, however which subset did I belong to?
Communication and language are tools mankind has developed to express a point of view as to allow another person to understand it. For the purpose of my assessment I choose to define three subsets as following; transsexual (both op and non-op), androgynous ( including gender queers and crossdressers who dress for gender identity expression), and transvestites ( to include any fetish based or emotionally driven cross gendered expression through attire/clothing). At the core to each of these BROAD subsets is HOW gender and its expression relates to THEM.
[Please note: A crossdresser is ANYONE who wears clothing of their opposite phsical sex. Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe ANYONE with a gender identity or expression that is at odds with society's binary gender construct]
To the transsexual, its is an innate sense knowing they who they are gender wise, its the body which is incongruent to this defined sense of self.
To the androgynous, its a sense of two genders.Sometimes singularly expressed, and sometimes jointly expressed. Yet typically never just one gender identity as defined by society's binary constructs.
To the transvestite, its a sense of fulfillment to an aspect of their gender definitions through the wearing of garments typically associated to the opposite physical sex. The fullfillment can be sexual in nature and it can be emotional too.
And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lays the rub.
Some transsexuals feel detached or wish to detach themselves from other transgendered individuals because their sense of self is, at least at the point they affirmed their status as transsexual, innate, permanant and quite clear. They were born with the right mind, its just the body which lagged behind. Anyone with less than the same feeling or sense of self could possible cause society at large to demean their situation. (Like its stereotypical TG characters in such movies as Dressed to Kill or Silence of the Lambs) Not dressing within a binarily defined gender contruct ( gender queer/fuck, or androgynous) or dressing in a fetish way can be seen as destructive to them and they need to blend in and be accepted. For many the ultimate goal is to fit into mainstream society and allow themselves to finally just live.
Some androgynous people consider and classify themselves as transgendered because in society's collective vocabulary, they have no accurate word to define themselves. They feel more bi-gendered variant that transvestites and less inconguent in their gender -physicality relationship than transsexuals. They see fetish based crossdressing involving intimate appearal or the lack there of(exposed body parts) in online photo albums as a threat to their legitimacy.
And, some transvestites, content on living with their gender which is in sync with their physical sex, will think in terms of their sense of self and do not possess the capacity to reasonably empathize beyond that contrust. To no fault of their own. How can white Americans truly understand personal biasses afflected upon black Americans. They lack a certain perspective. They are no less ridiculed by society than any other transgendered person however.
I have found, at times, a deep and dark distain for each other by some of us within all of these three subsets. However it seems to be strongest between the two extremes, transsexuals and transvestites. Transgender has been called an umbrella term . Yet I see it more like a covered bus stop. We're all in it together, however none of us want to look at or communicate with each other.
So this beg's to ask the question.
Where is the Love?
At a national level, most of the activism is directed to provide acceptance for those actively living and expressing, on a full time basis, a gender expression inconguent to their natal physicality. This means transsexuals both op and non-op or those 24/7.
At the local level most of the support mechanisms are gears towards the transvestites and provide a social outlet in addition to any emotional support provided.
While both of those two extremes benefit in small part to the actions taken on behalf of the other, there seems to be no middle ground and I certainly fail to see all of us holding hands and singing KumBayah anytime soon.
Which leaves us with the androgynous. You know us, chameleons as we are, we partied with the jocks and the stoners......
Jenna Elizabeth April 17th, 2007 3:48 pm MDTWOW!***** LOL******* I quess by my age I should have seen or read it all. I shake my head in laughingly utter disbelief! ;) ROTFLMAO. Are you serious? I mean SERIOUSLY? Can you take yourself anymore serious? Okay...... chuckle time over. Back to work...... UPDATE 04/18/2007********** Yet again! LOL I mean I'd be making a mess if I weren't wearing Depends........LOL
Jenna Elizabeth April 3rd, 2007 4:55 pm MDTAlright all you tight arsed nags with nothing better to do than sit around in your knitting cirlces and drink from the water cooler while hanging out your dirty laundry, its time you simmered down and not take yourself too seriously. OOPS, sorry, I thought this was the Congressional Blog page, NEVERMIND......
Jenna Elizabeth April 1st, 2007 10:18 am MDT It's with a sad and heavy heart that I announce this, to all of my friends I've made over the years here. However. due to events in my life, I must be returning to my masculine self. I'm cutting the hair short again, keeping the nails short and letting my body hair grow out. I'm sorry that I will not be able to stay in contact with any of you , yet know you are in my prayers.Love Eternally, Jenna
Jenna Elizabeth March 20th, 2007 9:01 pm MDTMarch. It's always an interesing month. Much maligned, but overlooked. March forward! Well this March will remain very memorible for me. It will mark two VERY forward steps in my life to which I'm excited and nervous at the same time. On Wednesday, I will receive my first laser hair removal treatment. 5 more to go! On next Monday, I have a doctor's appointment to get my blood work done. Hmmm? Didn't see that one coming is what a friend told me! LOL Neither did I! Additionally I will be covering for a friend of mine as facilitator of a local TG support group meeting to which I am seeing to make that a permanant arrangement. I have a very good reason as to WHY these things are coming to pass in my life right now, and I am ever grateful for it! I'll keep coming back, thanks for letting me share! Jenna
Brunch~a~palooza with Bri & Crystal 10.24.09 Yahoo serious!...lol
Brielle Echo Whitney November 1st, 2009 11:53 am MSTDateline Monday ( I think…lol) Report to the Surgeon General from the bat cave…;p :
WOO F***ing HOO!
Your Foo fighter (against the seriously mundane) is spent…and my legs actually feel weak today…lol
I seriously doubt that my fellow bat girl, (and team leader of the day (the inimitable Miss Crystal Frost) went to work…If she did, I’m pretty certain that the phone is in “we’ll get back to ya” mode…lol
What a truly heroic VIKING tale yesterday was, and you couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day to be at your finest, looking like a movie star & REPRESENT! …to the general inmate population out there!
Let’s just say that the TWO of us were on a “take no prisoners” ransack of the Left Village…HA!
Here’s what you missed (you can kick yourselves later for being dumb ass lazy!...;p)
It was a beautiful start to the race with Crystal & her assembled entourage of contestants lounging on the red carpet outside of the Cowgirl Hall Of Fame…looking like the cast of Sex In the City being regaled by the Press Gang & paparazzi crushed behind the velvet ropes…;))… ;D The sky was bright & clear, and the sun shone brightly… this was brunch with the ladies who meal, and
it’s one of the last days of Indian Summer in NYC…just perfect!
I made my way across the street as the crowd parted like the red sea to join the cast of what would prove to be a production of epic proportions…lol
After an appropriate amount of time for the staff to prepare a central feasting table for us inside the totally cute Cowgirl themed jalapeneo popper…lol we were regaled with a superfine protein & carb fuel up while being treated like stars with super sized smiles & service, with seemingly every satellite table giggling at the comedy coming from our banter… ;D
The Bloody Mary's were en eye opener, or closer, depending on your resistance to hot stuff...lol
The Echidna was seriously bruised…lol
…then…. With all jets a go we launched headfirst into the sun, heading due north. A pedal cabbie was seriously smitten & offered us a free ride wherever we wanted to go…which we declined, as a spectacle such as ours needed be circumcised with much more pomp & circumstance…lol (although I was seriously considering the ramifications of what would come of a modern Judah Ben Hur chariot ride through the streets of the Old West…lol ART! is what we are, and such Dandy Warhol’s need to be seen up close to be truly appreciated for our individuality & quality of execution…lol…best appreciated by the serious connoisseur, culture jammers or blatantly inappropriate lesbians…lol
The pedal pusher gave us cards though with his cell number saying “anytime, anyplace”…lolol hmm…;p
Our first stop would be Planet Cubbyhole, for a circle jerk under the twinkling mélange of holidaze rotating overhead, taking in the heady vapors of females in heat…lol and being offered complimentary clam chowder…(how appropriate!)…lol The Cubby’s apparently are wanting to give us brunch-ability with them soon too! Excellent!
Next, it was back out for a stroll through the cobblestone streets heading due East to Johnny’s, where the totally friendly low key atmosphere found us in rare form…I haven’t laughed so hard in ages…did I mention the pie? There was pie…lol it came along with us for the laughs somewhere along the way…in a box. There were cruel jokes, but no one got hurt…lol
Tess, resplendent behind the bar was beautiful, and her top was quite revealing. It was a cool night and the door was open…lol…I think it moved…;p Crystal’s friend Melissa was really sweet. I explored the inside of her oral cavity looking for answers, but only found more questions the deeper I probed…lolol
We picked up a hitchhiker who didn’t care for darts, golf or curling, I was to find out…lol
He was called Robert, and Crystal & I decided he must have been Chinese, as he ping-ponged with serpentarian aplomb between us…lol men are such dogs, you know, not being able to decide which shit smells better, but wanting to take it all in the ass run…lol
THEN!...(got your score cards out?) we continued the flight out of Egypt with the rainbow warrior in tow & headed East & took a hard right straight into Babylon…lol
Making the scene at Boots & Saddles was easy, where the serious grinding of the evening now started, as we danced around a plethora of urgently pressing issues…lol, got our freak on…and with a toss of our curls, schwing! we left…always leave ‘em begging for more I say, right…lol
Now it was time to cross the street, past the crowd singing show tunes at street level & down into the bowels of the Monster, for some over exposure under the disco ball’s shimmer & the call of the dance floor. ;D Crystal shook it like a white girl, Trish fell hard for a Latino pixie with a 6 pack, and I went into a tail spin with a hungry wolf…lol
We were all having lots of fun, when Trish asked me to sing her a song of desire. I decided that she would be able to hear it much more clearly if I sang it directly into her mouth…lol This particular song is tricky… I make it up on the fly of course, but it wound up having several verses, a repeated chorus…and an encore…lol
At this point we lost the hitchhiker, who, had become like peau de soie,… a medium to heavy, drapeable fabric with a soft satin weave and dull finish….lol
There had been, by this point a serious amount of mead drained out of various tanks, and into ours…lol, and we decided to come up for air…and away we went….
…straight back again into the deep house 4/4 at Greenhouse….I love that space, the raw tune-age is fine, the crowd is terribly sexy, and the toilets come with breath mints…lolol
We slid across the waxed dance floor under a canopy of foliage back lit & throbbing with a seemingly full room spectrum of wall to wall sound...it comes from everywhere, but you can’t see how…very cool, kinda like being inside a fuzzy navel or ear canal…radical & tubular!…;)) we danced till breathless, and I got mad props for knowing HOW to move my junk flash dance style in 4+ inch heels…Get your bad self down beatch! lol I wanted the Redheaded Emma Peel Doll in a skin tight black body stocking & boots…yummy… ;)) but she kept disappearing … was it live or was it girls on film?… must have been Memorex, but I can never really be sure…lol
Trish is a real trooper, she’s only just above the level of my business, which means it was easy for her to play with my garters…I told her the pleasure was all mine, but I’m not so sure about that…lolol
By now I have no fricking clue what time it was, I think it had been called on account of hedonism… too much fun is just enough ya know…;))
The upstairs was in overdrive, and I had serious fear for the safety of my toes, as the room was like a beehive with a fire lit from below… so we decided to fly before getting our wings clipped. ;D
To the surprise of both Crystal & myself, Trish then jumped into a cab with three beautiful strangers, and headed to Amanda Lepore’s party at the Hiro Ballroom.
Crystal assured me that she’d be fine as she always lands on her feet.
I was a bit concerned as the poor kitten’s frame seemed seriously bent by now…lol
She called us later and I THINK anyway, was back in the game & on the prowl in another part of the jungle…lol
We weren’t done yet, as it turned out…ummm…did I mention the word VIKING…lol
Now we were headed back north, passing Caliente Cab Company. Crystal suggested that we should get a dozen girls with temporary water weight gain to go in there & flash mob the bathroom…lol I said I’ll drink to that!...lol (if you don’t get it, do some homework…lol)
Flying a bit farther a field found your trusty heroine’s on a strafing run through Duplex & Stonewall when it occurred to us that the Pie had been having such a good time singing “ I will Survive” at Boots & Saddles, that it had fallen behind with the swaggering Cocks & Hens (and Chickens…lol). SO, we decided to go rescue it, as Pies aren’t especially known for carrying loose cab fare…lol
Upon entering, the Pie, which by now had done a costume change and had come fully out of it’s shell joined us for a short rendition of Naughty Marietta, and with a stage left, and a deliberately liberal sprinkling of air kisses, we shuffled off into the gaping mouth of the night, giggling like schoolgirls…lol
Where to go where to go!...NEXT!
The not so obvious choice to me anyway, was the Hanger. Along the way I noted that practically every shop had in some form included the execution of tattoos in their business model… tattoos & heavy lifting, tattoos & French Polishing, tattoos & antique sushi bowling, tattoos & sea foam bubble tea for you & a matching mole, half off on Tuesdays! Tattoos AND body art…I suppose that’s like the Big Mac…. Double your signage & brand recognition with excessive fat…lol…comes with a fork with seating for 6 at the table of the elements, with no reservations required!…lol I thought we should get matching Gummi’s glued screwed or tattooed where the sun don’t shine…lol… so much virgin canvas & so little time! Tsk!...lol
The Hanger was really loud, with big muscular tribal beats that make you want to throttle your knuffle bunny’s best assets or at least, the most open targets…lol…Let’s just say it was DEFINITELY NOT ladies nite…lol but who cares, we were out to shake things up & get our goddess worship on anyway…lol I’m ready for my scene now Mr. DeMille…lol
Crystal knew a guy in there who begged for us to stay, meanwhile, she gave me a look that said “hockey puck”…lol later explaining that this one follows her around like a puppy…lol I didn’t think a jury could possibly convict…lol Crystal’s certainly got that Big Fish Story appeal…lol I did mention dogs earlier didn’t I?...lol Well, enough of the Locker Room so she, me, and the Pie Rushed out the door flaming…lol Paris isn’t the only thing burning…lol We left burnout patches in the street as we careened a hard right down Bedford…lol
Which way did they go which way did they go! Run rabbit’s run!
Well, I have been trying for months to find out what’s going on with Chumley’s, as the phone’s ringing, but no one’s home…Chumley’s is the Doyenne of NYC Speakeasy’s, having successfully been playing Hide & Seek now for almost a century. It’s like a pair of favorite slippers. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe…;D
If you don’t know where it is, you probably won’t find it, there’s no sign, no lamp post & the door is forgettable…lol Once inside the door, you are transported into what is most certainly a Dickensian Era British pub. The dark wooded walls are covered with the manuscripts of Lost generation & Beat Generation writers & poets., men of letters, some chicks too…lol …people like EE Cummings , William Faulkner, John Steinbeck, Ring Lardner & Edna St. Vincent Millay…
There is also a ghost in there as well, usually, apparently, over by the bar. The floor is covered in sawdust, and there is a huge working fireplace. There are a trio of Hounds of the Baskervilles, ancient beasts that I think came with the property…lol They usually lie in front to the fireplace like stuffed sacks of peanuts roasting slowly in the dry heat…lol
The bar has hand pulled ales with curious names of Firemen who fell in the way back, dirty Vicars & other social anomalies & activists. The walls & benches are carved with the names of lovers & spirits past… There’s a juke box with a permanent collection of 78’s…songs from the distant haze, but you can’t expect to hear what you attempt to play. The ghost get’s to work, and the box has a mind on playing what you SHOULD hear…lol and it’s all good…;)) My favorite meal is a lobster tail, with corn on the cob, salad & a biscuit…all for 12 bucks! You just can’t beat that!
Anyway, away we went, and looked with intent, but it’s disappeared, vanished! I could cry a river into my beer if I could just get one!...lol Things that old don’t die, or fade away. I asked a migrant beaner in the corner restaurant. He looked at me balefully, and said “It’s gone”. FAK! I’ve been going there for 30 years, and I have to hear it from someone who fell off the turnip truck yesterday morning… it’s just not fair! I’ve done a google search, and found out the truth, and there is hope alive! ;D
ANYWAY, that wasn’t gonna’ work, so us girls held hands with the Pie & skipped town, err, rather around the corner DOWN town…lol
We had almost come full circle from where we started, but couldn’t see the finish line just yet…lol
Henrietta Hudson’s looked promising. We were back in our element, with the girls…ok, I’m speaking for myself here…lol Our little mini marathon had at this point seen us girls in heels for at least 15 hours, and me the night before as well…I was smart enough to bring a bag big enough to keep a pair of flats in, but Crystal’s combat boots were now barking…lol and we both wanted to sit down somewhere that wasn’t all whistles & gongs…the belles in HH’s sounded like a good landing strip… and so we were let inside the halls of the sisterhood… ;D Unfortunately, there was no seating available, so now we decided to keep the marathon going…lol
Crystal suggested that we entertain the sailors in the “straight” bar across the street, but warned that it could be a bad move…
I looked at my shoes. I like may shoes. I looked at the Shamrocks in the window. I looked at Crystal. I looked at her throbbing boots. We had the Pie’s well being to think of, so we walked on by…lol
Now, we were back at the Cowgirl where we started, but ya know, every good effort takes 110 percent, and the RL Lounge (nee Rubyfruit) was at the far end of the block…we can do this!!!...lol
The RL is a place where a girl can get something good & stiff from another girl, at a fair price!...lol
The upstairs has been beautifully renovated. It’s clean & cheerful with good lighting & it’s choc’ full of cute women… just my kind of place! Even the butch bunnies are hunni’s…lol
There are stylish salon pedestal stools which make you just want a makeover!...lol
We got comfy, and then we got engaged…lol no silly, I love Crystal, but I had my little eyes on Diana. She had a killer dancer’s bod, spike heeled boots & a wicked grin… I kept singing in my head “… but you can leave your hat on…lol”
She wiggled over to us, and pulled up to the bumper… fun fun FUN! Well, let me tell you…back off she’s mine!...lol
Well, maybe ours… but seeing as Crystal is waiting for Selma Hayak, I think I’ll be building a bridge between my island & her brick house starting this week! What a fine ass pect of the Midnight hour!...lol whew!
We exchanged cards, and I needed to scratch an itch…it was on her, of course…lol and well, Bob’s your uncle, as the Bishop said to the Actress…lol
Well, as happens when two fine T Gals walk into any room, shit happens…lol and Diana HAD to leave with her friend who pretty much dragged her down the stairs…lol
Sympathy for the Devil, and all that…lol We will meet again soon , me thinx… ;D
Anyway, with one girl down, and more to go, I found a comfy place at the bar next to yet another lovely La Femme Nikita… and decided to get busy…lol I can actually pin point the exact moment when the fire lit in her eyes, when I explained that my brain actually worked exactly like hers, and that I had no genuine interest in boys at all, and that I guess that would make me lesbian too! Granted, it’s possibly Vampyros Lesbos that we’re talking about here, but hey, I can’t help it, I was just born to really suck at some things in life…lolol
Crystal as well was having her own petting party, and we were definitely a hit… so much so, that the girl that I was chatting with’s girlfriend dragged her off down the stairs & out as well!...lol Doh! She wanted to stay, and I could have caused the earth to move, but I thought better for her & said that she should leave with her friend… ;D
Ok, time to add a bit of new lipstick before trying for the hat trick…lol SO! I va va voomed my way over to the powder room.
Once inside, I marveled at the most excellent design of the large well planned space. There was a niche at the far end lit softly with ambient lighting with a vase of Bird’s Of Paradise, which perfumed the air. The walls & floor were of a hewn bluestone, giving the space the feel of a Zen Garden…The Queen Mary..(There just can’t be a John in there, was a sleek curvilinear design which would echo the anatomy of she who would be born from above…;)) The sink, with it’s pedestal of stone and ovular bowl-like stainless steel nest resting on top with a single pistil-like faucet were in harmony with the somewhat oblique trapezoidal shape of the room. It’s not a box…lol As I sat there with my panties between my ankles, the sound of my own fluidity echoed like a stream flowing through a temple in a hidden cave, somewhat like a womb, actually…. Quite reflective all this, for just taking a pee…lol
I lifted myself up, and well, you know, tucked in my panties…lol then washed my hands…. Upon turning around, I saw no towels, and no basket… this, made perfect sense for such a Shinto space. The Fung Sui would be utterly ruined if you could possibly mess it up with random intrusions like misfired rimshots on the floor…lol
I then spied the hand dryer, which again, made perfect sense… I glided over, ran my hands beneath it & was immediately blasted by hyper-sonics crashing off the walls, creating standing waves that made harmonic dead spots, as the super heated turbo forced air thundered out of the short, cone shaped expeller. Finally, after what seemed far too long after my hands were already dry, it stopped. I fell back, collected the pieces of my shattered psyche, adjusted my garters & combed my hair. THAT, I’m quite sure, was designed by a man…lol
There are 3 things I found interesting at the RL, besides the company, that is…
1) I decided to have a quick peek into the men’s head…lol It was nothing like the women’s, Firstly, it was about half as big…lol the walls didn’t have the same treatment as in the ladies, quite Spartan by comparison. The sink was the same, but the head was most definitely a John…and the place was brightly lit. This, I assume, was an un-verbalized sign saying look before you get your pee shooter out…lol and oh, it was a box, quite boringly predictably rectangular…
2) Of all the places that we went in that catered to the occasional sporting life, the RL was the only place that didn’t put the Tube De Boob behind or above the bar, but rather placed it in a discretionary position in the room which favored social interaction over mindless hypnosis…lol
3) Of all the bars we were in, every one which catered to the more hirsute patrons had their boxes switched on to football. The RL had on the final ALC championship baseball game. Being a Yankee town, and that night being the last crucial game of the series, combined with the fact that baseball is played as much in the head as on the field, it made again, a lot of sense…lol after all, as we know…Diamonds are a girls best friend…lol
By now it was really getting late, and Crystal needed to get home in time to call in sick…lol so, we gathered our things, said our goodbyes to all of the lovelies, and again, hit the pavement…. Tap tap tap, click click click…and now we’re hugging each other at 7th Avenue. I hail a cab, and she’s away to the train with the Pie, (pumpkin, that’s one well traveled vegetable!)…Goddess speed sister, I hope you got home in a jiff… ;D
SO, what can we gain from this run on stream of consciousness? Get a good night’s sleep Saturday night, empty your bank account, expect the unexpected and have a working medical plan in place …lol
My legs have felt like rubber and weak still some 24 hours later, and my ribs still hurt a little from laughing so hard… but these are pains that I’d welcome anytime… ;))
It’s that time of year again, and amateur night is just around the corner… trust me, If you talk the talk, you need to come out & walk the walk with C & B Music Factory when the risk Vs. reward factor is a toss up…lol… we make what you want to do right now…lol
Brunch with the ladies who DO lunch is now a part of the weekly social, so come out with us in NYC & have a gas yas yas… ;))
Love ya Crystal, let’s turn this pig over & roast the other side soon!
[Comment on this post]
Is Gender Still Evolving?
Michele Angelique June 7th, 2009 7:01 pm MDTIs Gender Still Evolving?
After having been extremely active in the online transgender community for a couple of years as the hostess and facilitator of http://www.genderevolve.com/ and genderevolve.blogspot.com , I decided to go offline for awhile to pursue my career. Words cannot express how much I missed you during this time, yet I had to stay very focused to accomplish some of my life goals.
Now that I have achieved a new level of balance in my daily life, I have decided to venture back online and see how you beautiful transladies have been making out this past while. I sense there have been changes in the t-community, there are a lot of new faces, and some very cool new websites too. Yet it seems not everything has changed and there is stability in our online community, as most of my friends are still online and all our favorite sites are still online. It it a welcome relief to find that there is always a place to come home to, no matter how far on different paths our journies take us, we can always return to the source of our sisterhood.
One of the things that encouraged me to come back online was an email from my dear sister Jenna Elizabeth Taylor to the GenderEvolve contributors, entitled "Is Gender Still Evolving?". Her email sparked a flurry of activity and responses in our private Yahoo group forum, which made me delighted to realize there is still so much mutual interest and collaborative spirit among us. As such, I want to take this discussion public and pose the same question to all of our friends in the transgender community at large.
So I would like to ask all of you reading this post... Is Gender Still Evolving?
By this I mean, take your pick of any or all of the following questions:
1) In the past few years, have you personally changed or evolved in your own transgender journey?
2) Has there been any changes in people around you in your family or friends regarding your gender identity?
3) Have there been any events or news that show gender evolution is still happening in society?
4) Do you recommend any new websites, people or groups that have been influential to the trans community over the past few years?
5) Or simply, how the heck have you been Girlfriend?? What's new?
Anyone reading this post is encouraged to respond and share any thoughts, stories, perspectives on this topic. Please don't be shy, we would love to hear from you.
Love & Light
Michèle Angélique
http://www.genderevolve.com/
[Comment on this post]
Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide By Jennifer Nelson
Suzi January 26th, 2009 10:27 am MSTThere is no sense in me trying to rewrite something that is this well said. This is from my good friend, ennifer - Love, Suzi
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide
By Jennifer Nelson
What’s it like to walk on both sides of the gender spectrum sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman? This is the kind of question that gets asked by those who are naive yet curious. My answer, as a transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.” Though I have a male body, for as long as I can remember, I have thought of myself as female. I hide it well, even though I don’t relate well to guys doing guy things. My heart aches to have a doll collection. When I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are; “how can I be more like her.” Men and women are truly different. In body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking across the gender spectrum, probably 99.9% of men are congruent with being men and 99.9% of women are congruent with being women. These men have absolutely no interest in putting on a dress and the women have no interest in being men. Their gender and sex are congruent.
This is at the heart of the misunderstanding the general public has about us as transgendered women. They have no comprehension of what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No pun intended.) They can't even imagine it. Many are even revulsed by the idea because it is so foreign to who they are. What woman would want to be a man? What man would want to be a woman? Yet here we are, women on the inside struggling to make the person we see in the mirror congruent with our inner selves. Being married and transgendered further complicates the situation. On the one hand our spouses have expectations of us as men and specifically as husbands. On the other hand we are transgendered. Denial, purges, prayer, nothing seems to change who we are inside.
I was once scolded by one of my wife’s friends who had heard that I sometimes wore women’s clothes. If she only knew. I had no interest in getting into a discussion with her but she did get me thinking about how could I ever explain my conundrum? How can this make sense to those who are congruent as males or females? Imagine, as a mind game, that a beautiful genetic woman is made to look like a man; short hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry, no earrings, takes testosterone, has no breasts, grows a beard or shaves every day wears male clothes lowers her voice and walks like a soldier. Next, she's told this is who she is for the rest of her life which means, among other things, that all her relationships will change. Other women will look upon her as a man; i.e., one of them, useful but not girl friend material. She will also now have to relate to men as one of them. Remember that through all of this, in her mind, she is still a woman. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time she puts on her clothed every time she comes in contact with another person, who she is and who she appears to be are in diametric opposition. This is truly a recipe for disaster. Welcome to being transgendered.
This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006: “I can't express how much I appreciated your artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize the woman smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman, young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and sophisticated looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for the rest of the day was real, I felt like I've never felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was the woman I had always dreamed I could be. Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw this same beautiful woman smiling back at me. Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my face to a totally new level. Your color palette is so different from what I've been using that I'm going to have to get the complete MAC kit before I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have so much to learn but the wonderful result you showed me gives me the encouragement to get started. Amanda, you've turned the clock back 30 years! I want to look spectacular.
“Last year I watched a reality program called the Swan, where a group of women who considered themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc., never seeing themselves in a mirror until the final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful women they had become. Watching the program I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I truly know how they felt because I too was that woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in various outfits, is a wonderful remembrance of the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful gown has always been a fantasy that has now been given life. Thinking back over the day and reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy. “The need for congruence as a woman is very strong.”
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Curing the Incurable - Is HIV treatable???
Suzi December 21st, 2008 3:03 pm MSTRead the second article in the first newsletter and the second and third articles in newsletter that follows. I left the newsletters in so you had a better idea on where then came from - Suzi
ACCESS TO ENERGY
A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter
NOVEMBER 2007 (Vol. 35 no. 4), Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523
Copyright 2007 by Access to Energy
Adaptation
Empirical evidence supporting the hypothesis of biological "evolution" is meager at best This hypothesized phenomenon is experi-mentally unobservable and. therefore, not validated. Many of the outstanding scientists I have known - from atheists to Christians -quietly subscribe to some form of "intelligent design." "Quietly" is the operative word here because American academia has become increasingly uninhabitable for those who do not appear to conform to current politically correct trends.
"Adaptation." however, is easily observable and constantly in evidence. Each living species contains very great variation within its genes - biological variability between individuals of the same species. This allows species to adapt to changing'conditions.
A remarkable example of this is found in bacteria that require the essential amino acid tryptophan in their diets. If tryptophan is eliminated from their diet, the entire colony of bacteria quickly gains the ability to make it. If tryptophan is returned to the growth medium, then the bacteria colony loses the ability to make it.
Without dietary tryptophan or the ability to make tryptophan, the colony would die. If tryptophan is supplied, however, there is a competitive advantage in not using resources to make tryptophan. In each case, a few bacteria with the opposite talent remain in the colony. If their particular ability becomes advantageous, their progeny quickly dominate the colony.
Evolutionists like to describe such phenomena as micro-evolution - the colony evolving back and forth driven by survival of the fittest. Survival is driving this process, but it has nothing to do with evolution. Biological variation - or "diversity," to use a popular politically correct word - is present in all living species. This assures that the species survive under widely varied conditions. This diversity can take the form of individuals of different abilities or of biochemical systems that measure the environment and change individual biochemistry to adapt to conditions as needed
The United States Constitutional Republic was constructed in such a way as to take advantage of a similar phenomenon. With many separate semi-autonomous states, errors made by one state government were unlikely to be made simultaneously by the others. People and resources- flowed back- and forth between these largely independent states in accordance with the wisdom of their policies.
For example, if one state debased its currency and another maintained honest money, market competition would have soon ended the debasement. With, however, the vast growth of centralized power in Washington, this advantage has been substantially lost. An error in Washington affects the whole.
Still, the process of adaptation is nevertheless at work. Through excessive governmental taxation, regulation, and litigation, the United States has been rendered a poor environment for energy and manufacturing industries. So, these activities have flowed to other nations that have not been as unwise. In this way the community of nations - the political species - has gained survival capabilities through adaptive survival of the fittest. The human race has an abundance of energy and manufacturing even though it is increasingly no longer located in the United States. Survival of the fittest is therefore diminishing American prosperity and power.
Now, however, international elitists want to impose tyrannical control over the entire community of nations. The human-caused global warming propaganda drive is an effort to transfer power to tax and ration energy into an international body that will thereby control the energy and technology of all nations. Aside from its immoral and unethical aspects, this diminution of the independence of nation states contains great peril for the human race.
While Al Gore and retainers regale the public with fear of global warming, NASA scientist David Hathaway is predicting the opposite. John Casey, Director of the NASA Space Science Research Center, has confirmed that their research indicates an impending return to Earth temperatures as low or lower than prevailed during the Little Ice Age that occurred about 200 to 300 years ago. See http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10may_longrange.htm and also www.spaceandscience.net.
These NASA studies indicate that the solar cycle beginning between 2015 and 2020 may have unusually low activity - similar to that which contributed to the Little Ice Age. Accurate predictions of future weather are not yet possible. The actual temperature could rise or fall - no one knows this future.
If, however, a member of the current crop of political opportunists running for U. S. President is elected - rather than Ron Paul, the energy deficit in the United States will seriously worsen. All of these people have endorsed the human-caused global warming. United Nations agenda. So, if NASA is right, Americans are going to be very cold and miserable beginning about 10 years from now. While we could easily cool the Earth with the Penner-Teller procedures, we have no means with which to warm it.
Should the fears of misinformed and over-governed Americans be allowed to drag Asia and Africa into the same disaster? If energy production is unregulated - controlled by free enterprise or at least by separate nation states, then some of the world's people will not be energy poor if colder weather comes.
Without an immediate revival of the American hydrocarbon and nuclear energy industries - made possible by government withdrawal of the oppressive taxes, regulations, and litigation that currently prevent this, Americans will be very short of energy 10 years from now. Energy for heat and for mitigating technology is the only human response available to lower temperatures.
It has always been thus. The man who hikes into the winter mountains without warm clothing may freeze to death. He has, however, no moral right to demand that everyone else also leave their cold weather gear behind. Freedom to be different is an inherent human right. Freedom also confers important adaptive survival characteristics for the entire human race.
CURING THE INCURABLE
Thomas E. Levy's book, Curing the Incurable, Livon Books, 2002, is largely a review of the work of Frederick R. Klenner, M.D., and other related discoveries. Dr. Klenner began medical practice in 1940. He soon became interested in research carried out in the 1930s, which showed that vitamin C could kill viruses "in vitro," outside of living things.
Frederick Klenner discovered two things. First, vitamin C can be given to humans in enormous oral and intravenous doses over short to medium time intervals without serious harm - long-term very high doses may be an exception. Second, very high doses of vitamin C, especially given intravenously, are remarkably effective in curing serious viral and bacterial infections, and even poisonous snake bite. Klenner reported that he cured 60 out of 60 polio patients during the polio epidemic of 1948 with vitamin C.
Klenner's work found its way into the alternative medicine industry in the 1950s and 1960's. Nutrition gurus such as Adele Davis and Carlton Fredricks advertised Klenner's findings to their followers. This led to the ingestion of supplementary doses of vitamin C by many Americans.
When Irwin Stone - on the basis of Klenner's work - first convinced Linus Pauling in 1967 to personally take 3 grams of vitamin C per day, Linus began to read the literature on vitamin C and to write summary articles and books about it. Klenner was delighted, thinking that Pauling's entrance into the field would lead to much greater recognition of his own, pioneering work. In this, Klenner was to be disappointed.
Pauling was willing to work closely with people whose work did not predate his own, but Klenner had 25 years of precedence in the field - which would overshadow Pauling. He referenced Klenner, but had very little interest in working with him.
This historical and personal interplay was unfortunate because Klenner's most important discoveries received too little attention, and Pauling's claims that "75% of all cancer can be prevented or cured by vitamin C alone" distorted the field away from some of the true merits of vitamin C.
Initially in the 1970s, I had little interest in Klenner's work. Working closely with Pauling, I tended to be influenced by his interests. Then, students working in my laboratory at UCSD discovered that vitamin C, in the presence of air, quickly destroys peptide and protein molecules. As a result, I asked Stanford graduate student Steve Richeimer to investigate the mechanism of this process.
Richeimer found that aerobic oxidation of vitamin C leads to free radicals and peroxides, which destroy peptides and proteins. We also found earlier published work showing a similar result, wherein vitamin C plus oxygen destroyed the integrity of DNA molecules. Later studies showed that these reactions also occur "in vivo," in living things. These findings were personally unfortunate for Richeimer, whose work was quickly terminated by Pauling in actions that seriously damaged his career.
In any case, Richeimer and I published a short paper suggesting that the oxidation products of vitamin C may have a significant positive value in biological systems - and Fredrick Klenner's work began to interest me more.
Klenner used doses of vitamin C very far beyond those found in ordinary biological systems. Moreover, his results were startling. Poisonous snake bite? Snake venoms are peptides. Peptides are chemically destroyed by the oxidation products of vitamin C. Viruses? Viruses are simple packages of DNA and protein, both of which are chemically destroyed by these same oxidation products. Bacteria could be similarly affected. Human cells and molecules would, of course, also be affected, but these are easily replaced within human tissues.
Did we now understand the mechanism of action that led to Klenner's results? Possibly, but by no means certainly. It is often the case, especially in fields as complex as biochemistry, that a hypothesis leads to experiments and procedures that turn out to be useful -even though the hypothesis turns out to be wrong.
It is also the case that outstanding empirical medical results are frequently ignored because they are not understood within the framework of ordinary medical training and orthodoxy.
Klenner's empirical results, however, stand on their own. They need not be understood to be of value. They have the potential to save many, many lives.
I strongly recommend that each reader of Access to Energy obtain a copy of Curing the Incurable by Thomas Levy - even if you just put the book on a shelf without reading it. Then, if you or someone for whom you are responsible is afflicted with a dangerous viral or bacterial infection - such as the infections that often kill elderly people, take the book from your shelf and read it. Klenner's procedures, especially those involving very high intravenous administration of vitamin C, might very well save a life. In any case, Klenner's discoveries provide an additional reason for hope.
Read the second and third articles
ACCESS TO ENERGY
A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter
MARCH 2008 (Vol. 35 no. 8) Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523
Copyright 2008 by Access to Energy
Clathrate Hydrates
Contrary to many popular accounts, there is absolutely no shortage of hydrocarbon resources in the United States. Besides large amounts of undrilled oil, the U.S. has enormous reserves of natural gas and essentially unlimited quantities of coal - 25% of the world supply. Oil shale is also abundant. Moreover, these resources can be converted into one another with ease.
For example, the liquefaction of American coal into oil could produce more oil per year than Saudi Arabia - for at least 200 years. Coal liquefaction, used by Germany to fuel its military during World War 11 and now used in South Africa, might be best done today with nuclear power. In any case, this is relatively simple to do with well-developed technology. Similarly, natural gas can be converted to oil, as is now being done on an industrial scale in the Middle East.
The shortage of hydrocarbon energy in the U.S. today - leading to high prices and a debilitating trade deficit - has been entirely caused by the paper-shuffling mob in Washington. Politicians have created a nightmare of taxation, regulation, and litigation that has prevented sufficient free-enterprise development of American hydrocarbon resources. If freedom were returned to our industrial environment, inexpensive and abundant domestic hydrocarbon energy would be available to Americans for several centuries.
Moreover, that "several centuries" is actually "several millennia" when methane clathrate hydrates are considered. In the authoritative book, Clathrate Hydrates of Natural Gases - Third Edition by E. Dendy Sloan and Carolyn A Koh, CRC Press, 2008, a review of estimates of U.S. and world methane clathrate hydrates is provided.
The current total annual energy consumption of the United States in methane, CH4, equivalents is estimated to be about 1 x 1012 cubic meters, m3, at standard temperature and pressure. The best current estimate of U.S. reserves of methane in clathrate hydrates - 1% in permafrost and 99% in the coastal oceans - is 9 x 1015 m3. This is enough methane to power the United States at its present energy use for 9,000 years. The 95% confidence limits of this estimate lie be-tween 3,000 and 19,000 years.
So, with already-developed technology, the U.S. can be self-sufficient in hydrocarbons for several centuries. By developing methane recovery methods for use with clathrates, this can be extended to several thousand years. Commercial methods for recovery of methane from clathrate deposits are already significantly along the way to practicality - both in the U.S. and in India and China..
Moreover, it is clear already that - if technological freedom is restored and maintained in the U.S. - conversion of most energy production to nuclear processes should occur during the 21st Century. Nuclear fuel resources are sufficient for tens of thousands of years.
At or beyond defined temperature and pressure, water freezes into ice - the usual form with which we are familiar. If, however, easily polarizable molecules of appropriate sizes are dissolved in the water, a different ice forms. This "clathrate" ice contains special cavities into which are fitted the solute molecules. Bonding of the solute molecules to the water increases the stability of the ice, so that it melts at a higher temperature than ordinary ice. Dissolved ionic substances such as ordinary salt interfere with ice formation. Also the shapes of the solute molecules affect stabilization, so there is much theoretical and empirical science associated with this subject.
As methane from biological and geological sources percolates into cold permafrost and oceanic regions, very large deposits of methane clathrate ices are formed.
The clathrate ices were discovered in the early 19th Century by Davy and Faraday and were fairly well understood before the beginning of the 20th Century. As natural gas transmission lines were built in the early 20th Century, it was found that formation of clathrate ices frequently caused plugging in these pipes, so clathrate chemistry became a standard component of pipeline engineering.
An interesting classroom demonstration can be constructed - featuring a piece of methane clathrate ice that burns like a candle.
Since living things are largely composed of water, clathrate structures are also important in biochemistry. Already at Caltech in the 1960s, clathrate structures in biochemical systems were under study. See, for example, Robinson, A.B., Manly, K.F., Anthony, M.P., Catchpool, J.F., and Pauling, L., Anesthesis of Artemia Larvae: Method for Quantitative Study, Science 149 (1965) 1255.
The Miller-Pauling hypothesis of general anesthesia holds that general anesthetics function by organizing the water in living things into clathrate structures. All living things from swimming one-celled algae to human beings can be anesthetized by general anesthetics such as xenon, which fits clathrate cavities well and is an excellent anesthetic, or methane, which fits less well so is a poorer anesthetic.
The extra stabilization provided to clathrate ices and clathrate solvent structures arises from van der Waals dispersion forces between the included compounds and water. These forces are proportional to the polarizability of the included compound and also to the geometrical fit of that compound in the clathrate cavities.
The structure of water around protein molecules and other biological structures probably involves extensive clathrate structures, which play an essential part in biochemical processes. This field of specialization has, however, never been of much interest to the paper-shufflers who control tax-funded research grants - to which most academic scientists are addicted. So, research on biochemical clathrates has progressed very slowly.
Your body is filled with beautiful clathrate-like water structures similar to those which, as fully-formed ice, contain vast deposits of permafrost and oceanic methane.
Clathrate methane will likely not be used enough to appreciably diminish the supply - especially since we should change to abun-dant, inexpensive nuclear power in the near future. Its presence, however, is one more reason to ignore the misguided priests of "peak oil." The real issue is "peak hydrocarbons." This peak is at least thousands of years in the future - probably never.
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FEEDING CANCER
"Vitamin C Megadoses Hamper Cancer Treatments in Mice" by Randy Dotinga in The Washington Post, October 1, 2008, reports research published by Mark L. Heaney of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City and his colleagues in which they found that vitamin C interferes with cancer chemo-
therapy in mice. The mice were given the human equivalent of 2 grams of vitamin C per day. This reduced the effectiveness of chemotherapy by between 30% and 70%.
Medical "science" progresses very slowly. Part of the reason for this is that it is dominated by people trained in the application of current medical procedures to individual patients.
To be sure, hundreds of thousands of men and women trained in current medical procedures are necessary. Their skills and educations as MDs are extensive and essential, so they well deserve to be highly respected and generously rewarded.
People who are best able to discover and develop new knowledge require, however, markedly different talents and educations.
A research physical scientist carries, in his brain, a model of the systems in which he specializes. Each and every relevant experimental discovery must be consistent with his model. If an inconsistency arises, the model must change to accommodate it. Everything must conform to experimental reality.
In physics, if an experimental observation is made and is found to be rigorously repeatable, then it is considered a fact of nature. Physical theory must accommodate it. It cannot be ignored.
In medical research, however, most work is not rigorous in this way. If an observation is unusual or not in accord with currently accepted dogma, it is often rejected - for that reason alone.
In 1978, my coworkers and I made the discoveries summarized in Figure 1. See, Robinson, A.B, Hunsberger, A., and Westall, F.C., Mechanisms of Ageing and Development 76 (1994) 201-214. The graph shows the number of squamous cell carcinoma lesions in mice as a function of vitamin C intake. Cancer - pathologically identical to that found in humans - was induced in these mice by means of UV light, just as it is induced in humans. Humans eat about one kilogram of food per day, so the human equivalent dose is numerically the same as grams per kilogram in the mouse food.
The number of lesions at one point in the experiment shown in Figure 1, as delineated in greater detail in our research publication, measures the rate of growth of the cancer.
The cancer growth rate was found to be about 100% higher in 100 mice receiving the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day, as compared with mice that did not receive a supplement. At, however, true megadoses of 50 grams per day or higher, vitamin C reduces the cancer growth rate. A diet of raw fruits and vegetables also markedly reduces it. The dietary reduction has an advantage, since doses of vitamin C of 200 grams or greater are fatal to some of the mice. It is better not to be so close to a lethal limit - but, for seriously ill patients, this is justified.
The reported Sloan-Kettering work is almost certainly just a repeat of our finding that the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day increases the growth rate of cancer. They used a 2 gram human equivalent and found that the cancer grew faster than expected during their chemotherapy.
We published this result 14 years ago. In physical science, discoveries are not ordinarily forgotten for 14 years and then rediscov-ered. The Journal in which we published was Mechanisms of Ageing and Development - an old and very respected publication. Better, however, would have been the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, PNAS. Our paper was actually reviewed and submitted to PNAS by Martin Kamen, R. B. Merrifield, and B. Strehler. By the ordinary rules, that submission and recommendation should have meant automatic publication.
PNAS has, however, a special procedure in which any paper with potential medical implications must also pass a designated board of MDs. These MDs rejected the paper - nutrition and cancer not being a mainstream part of current ordinary medicine.
Our publication reported that the rate of growth of squamous cell carcinoma in mice can be varied over a 20-fold range by means of diet alone! Ho-hum. Medicine might become interested if the same thing is rediscovered several times over a period of 50 years.
In an age of ascendency of science and engineering, fields of specialization that depend upon this progress can advance very rapidly -but only if the people in these fields accept this advance. It is not this way in medicine. This is the reason I write medical "science" - with quotation marks. Sometimes it is a science and sometimes it isn't. When it isn't, unnecessary human suffering and death is the result.
HEALTH PROFILING
In the review article "Revolutionizing 21st Century Medicine with Consumer-based Diagnostics and the Internet," J. American Physicians and Surgeons 12, 1, Spring 2007, which was sent to all Access to Energy subscribers, we discussed the advantages of application of modern technology to the quantitative measurement of human health. This work involves extracting quantitative information from human tissues and fluids and computationally analyzing it. This review article gives 21 references to the scientific literature that chronicle our work in this field.
Useful information can be extracted from whole body scans, biopsies, compilations of symptoms, blood analysis, urine analysis, and other sources. All of these are used in one form or another by "modern" medicine - but most of their techniques are technologically far out of date. Constrained by the medical monopoly and stifling government control of most health research, diagnostic medicine has fallen many decades behind technological advance.
This is going to change - although, unless the government-caused de-industrialization and de-capitalization of the United States is reversed, these advances will more likely be made in other countries.
As analytical apparatus is miniaturized and reduced in price, and as research using this apparatus advances, some people living now may well see a time when the air in the rooms in which they live is continuously monitored - with the information obtained used to extend their lives by many years and to markedly reduce their suffering due to ill health. The technology to do this exists now, but it is expensive, and it has not been applied to this problem.
In the nearer term and with the capital still available to Americans, the best substitute is regular urine analysis - by methods that are not now and are not likely in the future to be available from the American medical monopoly, without outside intervention.
Our work on this problem has inched forward to the point that we expect to be ready - by early 2009 - to test new techniques of urine analysis that we have developed.
Usually such tests involve sample sets that are impractical for widespread use. The samples are gathered in specialized ways from unusual groups of people. The end products of the laboratory work are research papers - published in the research literature, but rarely utilized in a practical way. We prefer to avoid this trap.
So, we have decided to ask the readers of Access to Energy to participate. Participation will require that the individual send to us - at regular 3-month intervals - a few drops of his urine. We will provide small vials and shipping containers for this purpose.
In addition to the urine samples, we will need to know the individual's sex and age and to know about specific serious illnesses that he has experienced in the past and illnesses that he experiences during his participation in the experiments. This will involve a health questionnaire similar to that ordinarily filled out in a doctor's office.
Everything - the questionnaire and the analyses - will, of course, be kept rigorously confidential.
In return, the participant can expect nothing other than the satisfaction of having helped with this research. We do not suggest that we will find information in his samples that will benefit him.
We are still refining our analytical and computational procedures. A few months from now, we will send out sample containers.
If you or someone you know would like to participate in this study, please send a note to the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, 2251 Dick George Road, Cave Junction, OR 97523. You will not hear from us immediately. Eventually, however, each per-son who volunteers will receive a sampling kit along with the necessary Questionnaire.
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Unraveling Michelle Screening
Jenna Elizabeth September 7th, 2008 10:47 pm MDTLocal film maker Michelle Farrell will be screening her homegrown documentary at the Local film maker Michelle Farrell will be screening her homegrown documentary at theNew York International Independent Film and Video Festival OPENING NIGHT THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 18th - Unraveling Michelle Screening Saturday 4pm. The OPENING NIGHT PARTY and art/film market at MANSION ON THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH brings participating filmmakers, producers and artists together. Designed as an "open-air" market, the whole spectrum of the film, art and entertainment industry will be invited to attend thus creating a valuable opportunity for NYIIFVF and NYIAF participants to promote their projects and network with relevant industry professionals. Details: MANSION 530 W. 28TH STREET BETWEEN 10TH AND 11TH AVENUE 6PM-MIDNIGHT, Strict dress code: NO T-SHIRTS, JERSEYS, SWEATS, SNEAKERS AND BASEBALL HATS 21 and over only. No Exceptions http://www.nyfilmvideo.com/2008/ny-fall-2008/presrelease/opening-night.htm AFTER-PARTIES: Each night the festival will host after-parties at some of the best venues in New York. A list of our after-parties will be posted on www.nyfilmvideo.com and will also be listed in the program. We are doing our very best to get everyone in for free but venues marked with *** in the program schedule do have a reputation for being very trendy and upscale. We are also guests of the club. You must dress appropriately. NO T-SHIRTS, SNEAKERS, JERSEYS, BASEBALL HATS, BAGGY JEANS, SWEATS, ETC. ALL AFTER-PARTIES ARE FOR 21 AND OVER ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS. PLEASE KEEP YOUR VIP PASS ON YOU AT ALL TIMES AT THE AFTER-PARTIES. Please email Annalisa San Juan at annalisa@itndistribution.com if you have any questions regarding the after-parties. REMEMBER, for 12 dollars(advance ticket) you get a movie and a party. Unraveling Michelle will be screened on Saturday 9/20 at 4pm. I hope that you can come up to support our documentary.[Comment on this post]
Everyone
Suzi September 1st, 2008 6:02 pm MDTI'm not into conspiracy theories but I do believe that lots of stuff happens because of $. Follow the money on this one and then tell me what you think?
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RIP - Jahna Steele, 1958-2008
Gini Marie Macrae February 10th, 2008 11:15 am MST[1 comment]
Where Do YOU Live??? I'm In San Diego, CA!!!
Gini Marie Macrae February 10th, 2008 10:03 am MST[3 comments]
Auto Erotica OR Sex For One!
Gini Marie Macrae February 9th, 2008 10:49 pm MSTSo... I've been reading some blog/journal entries and some message board posts dealing with the issue of "sex by yourself" or "the M word" or whatever you want to call it! Seems it BOTHERS quite a few --even some accepting-- GGs that more than a few of us "wanna be" girls resort to auto-erotica or "sex for one" as part of our feminine experience. It's not that I ALWAYS do it, but when I'm wearing my incredibly sensuous layered pink negligee, I find myself thinking "I wanna be f*cked... I want to have my body caressed while it's bathed in nylon tricot... I wanna be warm and wet between my legs!" Well, the simple facts of reality are that my SO would NEVER want to be with me when I'm "dressed for sex" and the only way for me to experience something remotely resembling what a GG might feel is to have sex by myself. I have no problems with a GG --dressed similarly-- treating herself to "sex for one" to the point of climax. After all, there's a REASON my negligee feels SO DIFFERENT than --say-- an old cotton nightshirt! But the only thing I know --as a GB-- is that my "real anatomy" dictates that it has to be "different for boys" than it is for girls. The closest I can get to experiencing the desire to "be f*cked" is to enjoy "sex for one" the only way I know.[Comment on this post]
Untitled Post
Alexis Jane Mathews January 14th, 2008 2:41 pm MSTWell it's 2008 . As always gonna push that little bit further. Still looking for a bondage and photo friend any girls who are interested drop me a line[Comment on this post]
Surround Yourself with Love
Michele Angelique January 6th, 2008 4:51 pm MSTOnce we think more deeply about the people we interact with, it becomes easier for us to work toward filling our lives with people who help us cultivate healthy and positive relationships. Even though it might not always seem like we have much control over who we are with, we do. The power to step back from toxicity lies within us. All we have to do is take a few moments to reflect on how another person makes you feel. Assessing the people we spend the most time with allows us to see if they add something constructive to, or subtract from, our lives. Should a friend sap our strength, for example, we can simply set the intention to tell them how we feel or simply spend less time with them.
We will find that the moment we are honest with ourselves about our own feelings, the more candid we can be with others about how they make us feel. While this may involve some drastic changes to our social life it can bring about a personal transformation that will truly empower us, since the decision to live our truth will infuse our lives with greater happiness.
When we surround ourselves with positive people, we clear away the negativity that exists around us and create more room to welcome nurturing energy. Doing this not only enriches our lives but also envelopes us in a supportive and healing space that fosters greater growth, understanding, and love of ourselves as well as those we care about.
Much love and happy 2008,
Michele Angelique
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My friend Brielle's as old as dirt...
Jenna Elizabeth January 2nd, 2008 10:06 pm MSTI wanted to let ALL of my URNA friends know, the Brielle Echo Whitney is offically an AARP card carrying member as we speak! She passed everso graceouslessly into geriatical care under the watchful eye of her wet nurse. Those wishing to "pay court" to her can do so at the Brooklyn Gardens for Senior Development. And remember, no loud noises during Jeopardy![Comment on this post]
How Do I Change My Status???
Gini Marie Macrae January 2nd, 2008 2:21 pm MSTI'm having "a blonde moment!" HOW do I change my status (the little phrase right under my name)???[2 comments]
My Mini Autobiography
Gini Marie Macrae January 2nd, 2008 1:49 pm MSTGini MacRae (San Diego, CA)
My name is Virginia (Gini) Marie MacRae and I’m from sunny Southern California, in the North County area of San Diego to be exact.
A girl isn’t supposed to give away her age, but I’ll make an exception in this case and tell you that I am every bit of 53! I was born in San Diego, CA in September of 1954, even though I list Gini’s birthday as April 1 on the Internet in the interest of having a little fun with April Fool’s day.
I’m fortunate enough to be relatively small (WISH I were smaller!) at 5’ 8” and 158#. I can wear a size 12 dress, size 9 shoes, and I can get into 29” Levis. If it weren’t for my shoulders, I could probably wear a size 10 dress.
I can’t tell you EXACTLY when I became acutely aware of “the girl inside,” but I do know that there was a catalyst and a seminal event in my young girlie life at the age of nine. My dear Mother had taken something of mine away from me (I don’t even remember what!) and I was convinced that she’d hidden it in her dresser. Well, the first drawer that I opened was her lingerie drawer! I didn’t find what I was looking for, but Pandora’s Box was opened wide! I discovered a beautiful powder blue Vanity Fair panty girdle, complete with garters, and something powerfully drew me to it, I touched it, took it from the drawer, and I HAD to try it on! And try it on I did! Intuitively (from having spent time watching my Mother dress and do her makeup at her vanity), I knew that a beautiful woman always wore stockings! I found a pair of “real” nylons in her drawer and I knew exactly how to attach them to the garters. At that moment, I KNEW that I would spend the rest of my life craving and enjoying the luxuries of femininity.
As a youngster, I was always drawn to femininity even though I did the typical GB things like play football and baseball, watch wrestling on television, and enjoy the usual boy hobbies. But I was very curious about “girl things” and I would watch enviously as the girls in my class became old enough to wear bras, nylons, and high heels. I really felt that those “rights of passage” should have been my privileges too!
As a teenager, I “owned” (make that borrowed) many items of lingerie from my Mother’s dresser. She never let on that she knew, but she HAD TO KNOW when a pretty nylon negligee went missing for days and days! As a young lady, I enjoyed sleeping in layered tricot negligees and --to this day—I treasure the nights that I can spend in bed with my body bathed in layers of sheer nylon!
At the age of 20, I made the classic TG mistake of getting married to my high school girlfriend, thinking that my love of and desire to express my femininity would diminish! But, as Rocky the Squirrel says to Bullwinkle the Moose, “But that trick never works!!!” And it didn’t! We were married 8 years before the opportunity presented itself for an amicable “parting of the ways.”
I married again ten years later, and while my new wife knows about my transgender side and TRIES to accept it, she has not been and will likely never be willing to see me as Gini, let alone participate in that aspect of my life.
So, Gini typically gets to come out only when I have the opportunity to travel and visit Karen at Femme Fever (New York) or Amy at Glamour Boutique (Las Vegas) or the fabulous Stephanie Williams (Las Vegas) who did my latest glamour session with me modeling my VERY short Bebe mini dress!
My public outings have all been in Las Vegas. I remember the first time like it was yesterday! That incredible memory of walking into the old Elvis! club on Sahara Boulevard and spending the evening in the company of Amy and her friend Sheila is one that I will treasure forever!
I have always been drawn to pretty dresses, nylons, and high heels. I enjoy the process of making myself look pretty … from choosing the right lingerie, to my clothes, my makeup, my hair, and my nails. The ritual of transformation is powerful to me! There’s a definite magic to it that makes me really feel like I “belong,” that the woman I become is the woman I truly am. When I see my face and my smile in my glamour photos, I see a happiness and contentment that I NEVER see in my GB pictures,
I’ve got to say that my feminine experience has covered many aspects of the so-called “gender continuum.” As a young lady, I would probably have been classified as a crossdresser, even though I was always drawn to the thought and desire to BE a woman! I’m definitely more to the transgender side of the continuum at this point in my life, although given my relationship status and the fact that there’s a darling little daughter in our family, I will probably have to compromise and not go down the road of transition unless something unforeseen happens.
But, having said all that, mentally I’m more and more drawn to an intense inner knowledge that I SHOULD BE a woman! I “tolerate” my natural gender, and that’s about it. When I am intimate with my wife, it’s impossible for me not to think of wearing what the girls would call their “f*ck me clothes!” I long to have big, beautiful, and full breasts. I dream about being a girl “between my legs.” But I KNOW that there’s no way I will ever be able to enjoy physical contact with a GB! So I guess I’m happily trans-lesbian!!!
As for 2008, I have many “goals” for Gini, some reachable, some probably not reachable! I would like to walk down the Las Vegas strip as Gini and go into Wynn or Bellagio and “fit right in.” I would like to pose for glamour shots in a wedding dress. I would like to do a lingerie modeling session/photo shoot. I would like to compete in a transgender beauty pageant. I would like to share Gini with some of my closest friends. I would like to wear a strapless dress and look good in it. I would like to wear a baby doll top and tight fitting jeans and look good in them! I would like to feminize my breasts. I would like to start hormone therapy. I would like to explore SRS!
Happy New Year and blessings to YOU, my dear girlfriends!
Gini MacRae (ginigirl@cox.net)
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TOP 10 Reasons I attended SCC
Jenna Elizabeth September 18th, 2007 4:15 pm MDTThe top 10 reasons I attended SCC.
10. Five days en femme
9. Flying AirTRAN ( It's OUR airline baby!)
8. Seminar after seminar of helpful stuff
7. Formal dinners with 800+ of your closest friends
6. The local Atlanta club scene
5. The SCC marketplace
4. The first ever Transgender Job Expo
3. Making new friends
2. Catching up with old friends
1. They don't call it HOT-lanta for nothing!
360 days to go til SCC 2008
[7 comments]
Where is the Love?
Jenna Elizabeth August 30th, 2007 10:26 pm MDTAs I gear up for my 4th SCC, I have the opportunity to reflect on my personal journey of the last 4 years. By 2003, I had come to terms with the fact I was transgendered. Even though I could not quantify the cause, I accepted it as part of my nature. It had been since the tender age of 6. Years of guilt and shame had taken its toll and I was ready for a change. Many things had transpired in the preceding year. My last relationship(HST i.e. hostage taking situation....) had ended in miserable failure. I was finally on my own, and, as I found to be later, on my way. New job, new income status, and new freedom allowed me to express this identity in a safer environment. As these planets all came into alignment I found less than a harmonic convergance. The more exposed I was to the multivalent construal known as transgenderism, the less shielded I was to its stark divisions. I knew I was transgendered, however which subset did I belong to? Communication and language are tools mankind has developed to express a point of view as to allow another person to understand it. For the purpose of my assessment I choose to define three subsets as following; transsexual (both op and non-op), androgynous ( including gender queers and crossdressers who dress for gender identity expression), and transvestites ( to include any fetish based or emotionally driven cross gendered expression through attire/clothing). At the core to each of these BROAD subsets is HOW gender and its expression relates to THEM. [Please note: A crossdresser is ANYONE who wears clothing of their opposite phsical sex. Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe ANYONE with a gender identity or expression that is at odds with society's binary gender construct] To the transsexual, its is an innate sense knowing they who they are gender wise, its the body which is incongruent to this defined sense of self. To the androgynous, its a sense of two genders.Sometimes singularly expressed, and sometimes jointly expressed. Yet typically never just one gender identity as defined by society's binary constructs. To the transvestite, its a sense of fulfillment to an aspect of their gender definitions through the wearing of garments typically associated to the opposite physical sex. The fullfillment can be sexual in nature and it can be emotional too. And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lays the rub. Some transsexuals feel detached or wish to detach themselves from other transgendered individuals because their sense of self is, at least at the point they affirmed their status as transsexual, innate, permanant and quite clear. They were born with the right mind, its just the body which lagged behind. Anyone with less than the same feeling or sense of self could possible cause society at large to demean their situation. (Like its stereotypical TG characters in such movies as Dressed to Kill or Silence of the Lambs) Not dressing within a binarily defined gender contruct ( gender queer/fuck, or androgynous) or dressing in a fetish way can be seen as destructive to them and they need to blend in and be accepted. For many the ultimate goal is to fit into mainstream society and allow themselves to finally just live. Some androgynous people consider and classify themselves as transgendered because in society's collective vocabulary, they have no accurate word to define themselves. They feel more bi-gendered variant that transvestites and less inconguent in their gender -physicality relationship than transsexuals. They see fetish based crossdressing involving intimate appearal or the lack there of(exposed body parts) in online photo albums as a threat to their legitimacy. And, some transvestites, content on living with their gender which is in sync with their physical sex, will think in terms of their sense of self and do not possess the capacity to reasonably empathize beyond that contrust. To no fault of their own. How can white Americans truly understand personal biasses afflected upon black Americans. They lack a certain perspective. They are no less ridiculed by society than any other transgendered person however. I have found, at times, a deep and dark distain for each other by some of us within all of these three subsets. However it seems to be strongest between the two extremes, transsexuals and transvestites. Transgender has been called an umbrella term . Yet I see it more like a covered bus stop. We're all in it together, however none of us want to look at or communicate with each other. So this beg's to ask the question. Where is the Love? At a national level, most of the activism is directed to provide acceptance for those actively living and expressing, on a full time basis, a gender expression inconguent to their natal physicality. This means transsexuals both op and non-op or those 24/7. At the local level most of the support mechanisms are gears towards the transvestites and provide a social outlet in addition to any emotional support provided. While both of those two extremes benefit in small part to the actions taken on behalf of the other, there seems to be no middle ground and I certainly fail to see all of us holding hands and singing KumBayah anytime soon. Which leaves us with the androgynous. You know us, chameleons as we are, we partied with the jocks and the stoners......[3 comments]
New set of glasses to go with my English Composition classes
Jenna Elizabeth April 17th, 2007 3:48 pm MDTWOW!***** LOL******* I quess by my age I should have seen or read it all. I shake my head in laughingly utter disbelief! ;) ROTFLMAO. Are you serious? I mean SERIOUSLY? Can you take yourself anymore serious? Okay...... chuckle time over. Back to work...... UPDATE 04/18/2007********** Yet again! LOL I mean I'd be making a mess if I weren't wearing Depends........LOL[1 comment]
This site needed a good enema...
Jenna Elizabeth April 3rd, 2007 4:55 pm MDTAlright all you tight arsed nags with nothing better to do than sit around in your knitting cirlces and drink from the water cooler while hanging out your dirty laundry, its time you simmered down and not take yourself too seriously. OOPS, sorry, I thought this was the Congressional Blog page, NEVERMIND......[6 comments]
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO FRIENDS
Jenna Elizabeth April 1st, 2007 10:18 am MDT It's with a sad and heavy heart that I announce this, to all of my friends I've made over the years here. However. due to events in my life, I must be returning to my masculine self. I'm cutting the hair short again, keeping the nails short and letting my body hair grow out. I'm sorry that I will not be able to stay in contact with any of you , yet know you are in my prayers.Love Eternally, Jenna[3 comments]
In like a Lion, out like a...
Jenna Elizabeth March 20th, 2007 9:01 pm MDTMarch. It's always an interesing month. Much maligned, but overlooked. March forward! Well this March will remain very memorible for me. It will mark two VERY forward steps in my life to which I'm excited and nervous at the same time. On Wednesday, I will receive my first laser hair removal treatment. 5 more to go! On next Monday, I have a doctor's appointment to get my blood work done. Hmmm? Didn't see that one coming is what a friend told me! LOL Neither did I! Additionally I will be covering for a friend of mine as facilitator of a local TG support group meeting to which I am seeing to make that a permanant arrangement. I have a very good reason as to WHY these things are coming to pass in my life right now, and I am ever grateful for it! I'll keep coming back, thanks for letting me share! Jenna[Comment on this post]