This journal enty is the first since all my computer problems, and the problems URNA had with the old format for their site. It seems that everything is working as it should be.
The neighbors who moved in the apartment below mine have come and gone in the past year. They were almost as bad as the two guys living there before. I had to put up with hearing two dogs barking at everything as well as their owners yelling at them. I actually had more peace and quiet when I was at work than I did at home. I now have another set of new neighbors who moved in downstairs. These seem to be a little better than the last, so I'll wait and see if they become loud and obnoxious like the last.
My computer seems to be running as it did before. I have upgraded it's RAM memory to 2.4Gigs. I was never able to recover the pictures I lost, but luckily I have most of them posted on my websites and in my Flickr account. I have been dressing more lately and even bought some new clothes from Victoria's Secret. I also have an even bigger "E" cup version of my Cleavage Croptop. Check out my Newest Pics gallery to view pics of them. My profile pic shows my "E" cup "girls". The Yellow dress pics are of my "D" cup "girls".
I did attend my first convention in nearly 9 years back in June this year. It was wonderful seeing my friends from years past, as well as meeting new girls who have only seen me via the Net. I also was reinstated as a member of Vanity Club, and I thank all those ladies who helped me back into the group. I love you girls!
I hope the next several months ahead will be enjoyable with the holidays soon upon us. Take care and I hope to be around more often. *Hugs*
Yesterday, my gf thought it would be fun to paint my toe nails, and I just said ok. She used a purple color thats a little shiny. I feel so pretty now ^_^
My friend Jackie and I went on summer holiday to northern New York State, Ohio, Indiana, Pennsylvania, and Illinois. We got out of New England just before the floods in Connecticut (7 inches of rain fell in just 4 hours!). I got water in the basement of my house for the first time since I have owned it. Thank God I had friends in the area to check up on the home (they had to wet vac the basement however). It was not much rainwater inside but even an inch can cause a huge problem when it sits around for a few weeks. My neighbors down the hill were not so lucky and had huge problems. There was massive flooding in the town where I live!
We went to Fort Stanwix in Rome, NY and then on to Seneca Falls. There was a lovely canal which Jackie and I spent some time sitting along and having a drink (2nd photo #1). It is ironic that we had picture perfect weather the whole time we were gone. There were sunny, cool days and cool nights.
We made it to Buffalo and Teddy Roosevelt Inaugural Nat. Historic Site (2nd photo #2). This is where Teddy became President after President McKinley was assassinated. President Karen Reeves (what a scary thought!!!) had her picture taken behind the President's desk (2nd photo #3). Notice how I take charge!
The two of us then headed into Ohio to Cuyahoga Valley National Park. A National Park in Northern Ohio? It's not exactly Yellowstone or Yosemite for sure! Jackie took a pic of me (2nd photo #4) on the boardwalk by Brandywine Falls. It was very nice there.
We then headed west to the town of Put-In-Bay, which sits on an island in the middle of Lake Erie reachable only by ferry boat. It was a spectacular day. The boat trip out was nice and the views from the tower in Perry's Victory and International Peace Memorial were breath taking (2nd photo #5). There were too many tourists and I almost took some out with my car. I'm not sure if it was accidental or not!
Nest stop was the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. Jackie and I waded into the waters of Lake Michigan (2nd photo #6). The Great Lakes are like the Atlantic Ocean but without the salty smell or feel of saltwater on your bod. We wish we had more time to spend here but we had to make some miles on this day.
We then made it to our hotel in Glenview, Illinois. My friend Jackie T. got ready to have her FFS performed on her by Dr. Mark Zukowski. She was, of course, quite nervous, but she faced the situation with great calm and determination. That's Jackie! You go girl J !!!
On Sunday, June 28th , a couple of days before her surgery, Jackie and I participated in the Chicago GLBT Pride Parade (See the Main Photo). We were on a float sponsored by Dr. Z along with a live rock band. I thought the crowds would be a few thousand. They estimated that the crowds along the route might have reached a million people! As we waved and danced we saw people lined up 20, 30, even 40 deep along the route. There were even people hanging out of apartment windows and on balconies. It was a little overwhelming for a girl from the coast of Maine but it was great fun. What an adrenaline rush! Thanks Dr. Z for the invite and for dinner!
In the next photo (2nd photo #7) I am admiring some interesting sculpture.
The nicest part of this parade was that these huge throngs of diverse people, from every background that you can imagine, were all smiles, respectful, and having a fantastic time. Smiles were the order of the day.
Jackie came through the surgery with flying colors. The next few days did not allow for much sleep for her and for me.I was her care giver and I set a new record of staying awake in hours playing nurse & maid. (I hope she does not sue me for malpractice!!! YIKES!!!). I figure I was awake for two days straight.
Jackie was doing well enough after just four days that we went out to see the fireworks on July 4th in Glenview at the golf course. It was kind of weird to be allowed to sit on the greens with chairs and blankets when normally you would be chased away. The show was great.
The next day I went back to the golf course to take some day time photos of the gold course. Two guys offered to be "male models" for my pics. I didn't know that golfing made guys soooooo HORNY!!!!
We also were lucky enough to be able to visit Brenda Sue in her new condo on the north shore. Jackie was not up for doing much but a few hours out was good for her. Brenda's pad was beautiful. She lives in a nice area along Lake Michigan It is very rural. Hey Annette! This area that you are from is NICE!!!
My only complaint is that Brenda cooked us hamburgers that must have been two pounds each. They were delicious but after all this time I AM STILL FULL! Thanks Brenda, Anne, and Colin!
It was finally time to head back east. We spent an extra day in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania coming back since this return trip was hard on Jackie who was still recuperating from her surgery. By the way she is looking even more beautiful with every passing day! Drop her a line!
The last new pic of me on my page (2nd photo #8) was taken by Jackie at Pocono Downs NASCAR Raceway. This place is massive! We love NASCAR!
We arrived home safe and sound. It was time to crash!
Hi there URNA friends. As I stated on my "Status/Banner" message on my main page here, I just recently sent the message below, to all on my Yahoo mail contact list, and also to some others on my Yahoo Messenger friend's list. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and if you can help, I would be very greatful and appreciative. I will help a fellow sister, or sisters, as soon as I can. Be well everyone.
W/Love,
Kelli
Hello Everyone,
About 3 weeks ago, I sent, to many of you, the e-mail below, asking for some help, and I explained why, etc. Well, "things" are not getting much better since then, so I'm sending this to everyone one on my contacts list, even to those with whom I don't have much contact with. And also, I wanted to add here, that I now have a PayPal account, so if you are still interested in helping out, that option is now available. Of course, as I said in this letter, if you can help--Wonderful, thank you SO much! (And, if you already have helped out--Thank You!!) And if you can't, I totally understand, believe me, I do. Oh, and since this was sent, I did go to Be-All, and I DID have a FABulous time!! And, somehow I did it all with less than $100 to spend, with MANY thanks to Dr. Ousterhout and Dr. Zukowski, who funded the scholarship I won, and to my friends Bobbie Jane, Zoey and Robbi, for allowing me to stay with them at the hotels. So, yes, despite my current troubles, I am definitely a VERY blessed young lady!! Thank you so much for reading this, again, and thank you all for being my friend. It's never easy being a woman, especially "starting out" this late in life...but, I'll get there, and become whole, of this I have no doubt at all. Best wishes to all of you in your respective journeys! And please, I am here for you also. Take care everyone. (HUGS)
~Kelli
Hello Everyone,
How are you all? As I am sending this e-mail to everyone using "BCC", that's why I say "all". And, although of course, this e-mail is going to each of you, individually, the reason I'm sending it to all of you at one time, is that I am needing some help. Financial help that is. I've been debating, in my mind, for months now, as to whether to send this e-mail...going back and forth, over and over again... is it wrong(even, "audacious"?) to ask for money from people, especially these days?....will I lose friends, because of this?....and, how could I prove, if I did get funds, where it goes/how I spend it?.... And, believe me when I say this--I REALLY don't like asking for help, especially financial help, as I feel like, I don't know, like a "failure"...and, maybe I am in some ways, as I have a job/career that doesn't pay all that much(around $10 an hour)(I'm a Digitizer--computer software embroidery, we manf. marching band uniforms)...and, I have, and am looking for additional work, but around here, there isn't much, but I'll keep trying. So, yes, I have thought about doing this for months now, and actually I did do this, via Yahoo 360, last September, as some of you may recall--and, I thank again, those who were able to help us!....and, even then, I felt very embarrassed to ask for anything(not to mention the timing, what with the economy going downhill fast back then....and, of course, it's not much better, if not worse, nowadays), At that time, I was still married, and my wife was going through her chemotherapy, after having surgery in May(2008), and almost concurrently we went into a bankruptcy, which of course, both being almost overwhelming for us. We persevered and made it through "Okay" though. A positive thing, during her illness(and, she's doing fine now, the cancer has not returned--one year now!), we both did become closer again (we'd decided the summer before to end our marriage, although I did hold out a sliver of hope that maybe we could stay together....)but, despite our spending more time together last year, we still came to the same conclusion: We needed to live our own lives, separately. This past February, Betty moved out, to live with her daughter and family, while I've been living here at home. Our divorce became final on March 13th...and, I must admit, that first month after she moved out was terrible, painful, not fun at all. But anyway, I'm doing better nowadays, at least emotionally, and I do hope that she is also. We still see each other often, mostly to deal with bills we still share in paying, and we get along well, that's not really been much of an issue. And I will always care for her, and love her, in some way. Anyway, my, and our main problem, is money, and it's becoming more and more difficult as the days go by. We are splitting up the 2 mortgage payments, evenly of course, plus a car payment, and I'm taking care of the other home "monthlies"(electric, water, etc.) while she has her own bills to take care of(chemo/hospital/doctor bills, plus her school loans)(and, she doesn't make much more than I do--she's a medical biller/coder)...but, now, it's come just about to the point where I, and we, can't keep up with it all. And recently I've been cut back to 4 day weeks. (She's still working full time, thankfully.) I've also cancelled the land line phone, and now the television costs(satellite), and a few other things(no, not food, I'm still eating, but not as much--can't you tell? ) So, we've decided to sell this house....despite how the market is, and despite the fact we probably won't get too much out of the sale, with those mortgages...plus, we couldn't pay our property taxes last year(still can't), and now this year's taxes are coming up soon....I think this is the point where I start sighing, and crying. I'm just so tired of this "craziness"....we almost lost her car to repossession a couple of months ago, and also one of the mortgages was a few months behind---thankfully, some family members helped out with those problems...and just last week I was 10 days not paying the electric bill on time...and, now I have to live on around $50 for the next 2 weeks, and dem cupboards are gettin' bare. Yeah, I know, that's not funny(but I still have my "wits" about me )...and, thankfully, just this past weekend, a good friend gave me a "care package" of foods. We, my ex and I, are having a garage/moving sale this weekend...hopefully that will help some. And, coming up soon, next week matter of fact, is Be-All, the transgender convention in Chicago, where I won a scholarship(thank goodness!), and of course that will help out a LOT, not to mention some special girlfriends who are helping me with hotel expenses--sounds very much like my SCC experience last year! But I'll still need gas and some meal monies...I really want to go, but of course, it's not a priority. One more thing--my gender therapy. I had 2 sessions, last August, and September, but since then, I've been unable to afford to go again(my deductable is $1000--employee based health ins., and I can't change that amt.), and at $150 per session, I just haven't been able to afford to go anymore since then(still paying on that bill matter of fact)....and, as you all no doubt know, therapy is a very important part of transitioning, and it's been very frustrating that I haven't been able to continue with it, and then begin hormone therapy eventually, and so on.... So, anyway....I am very sorry this is rambling on like this, and that I'm "whining" about all my troubles---I am sure that many of you are probably going through similar trials now, if not worse. I just thought that maybe if a few of you could help out, if only a little--and, believe me, any amount would be helpful.
Let me show you a very special letter, written to me last year, after I posted my "Yahoo 360 "Help" message", by a very very special friend, of whom without her help with another "task"(getting down to Atlanta and back), I'd never been able to have gone to SCC last fall.(she's SO much better at communicating what I am asking, than I am, as you will see. She would like to remain anonymous btw.) This letter has been edited some, since a few things have changed since she sent it to me last September:
Community Support – Please read and pass along.
Each day I am amazed at how large this community is, yet what a loose affiliation we are. Different in many ways, but yet a common theme that brings us together…as a group, imagine what we could accomplish together.
I’ve seen so much compassion and giving by many on an emotional level, that I’m wondering if we could do a little of the same on the financial side? Bear with me just a little longer please.
A few extra dollars individually may not mean much, but if we could harness the numbers, it could mean so much to members of this community.
Proposal - I would like for each of us to sacrifice a little. Maybe the dollars spent on coffee and bagel one day, a meal out, or a new skirt (ouch)…put it in an envelope and mail it to the following sister; either anonymous or with a note of encouragement and support.
Kelli Elam
P.O. Box 32
Greenville, IL 62246
PayPal: kellinicole127@yahoo.com
The Story: Kelli, and more importantly her wife have had a really rough year. Kelli’s wife has been fighting cancer these last few months, which has left them with without her income and an incredible amount of medical and personal expenses to cover. During this time Kelli has cared for her spouse, which prevents her from seeking a second job to address the shortfall in income. The prognosis is good, but they continue to fall further in debt.
I feel this couple could use some help, and ask that you consider helping if you can. I am not here to save the world, but I would like to help where I can. Am I naïve? No, I just want to be.
The Responsibility : This lies with Kelli. Here are a few things she must do.
1. Use our help only for things that allow her and her wife to get back on their feet again. 2. Pay it forward. She would need to solicit the next person in our community for support, and begin the process by telling her story. Kelli would be current recipient, and she would then help the next person. 3. This is a grass roots start, and Kelli would need to find a better way to get the message out. Maybe a flickr group, or a web page that she could administer, along with future people yet to be named. 4. Maybe a name for this group, or community support fund. 5. If Kelli receives more than she needs (can you imagine that) she will use this as seed money to support the next in line…just paying it forward.
The Community: The community must have faith and help with a few things.
1. Do not assume that $5, $10, or $20 is too little to make the difference. This thought often prevents people from giving at all. This amount or even $2 is quite a lot, considering the numbers we have. A little from many, can be quite powerful. Reference Alex’s Lemonade Stand. 2. Get the word out. You all have friends, and friends of friends that could help. Please forward this to others in our community. 3. If you know of someone who needs our help, please message Kelli, as she has the awesome responsibility of choosing the next person who could use some help.
Notes: Safety first. This message would potentially be viewed by those outside our community, who may not share our kindness. I recommend the candidates selected set-up a post office box for mail, and that we send either cash or a check made payable to cash to prevent names and addresses from being published. Maybe there are other ways to transfer a gift without names on either end?
This Is Not A Hand-Out…It’s Our Community Helping…Our Community. What’s in it for you? You mean beyond a smile and warmth in your heart? Send something to Kelli today and let’s see what we can do together.
Isn't she wonderful? A few addendum's to her proposal: Under The Responsibility: Of course, since we are now divorced, these potential funds wouldn't be directed towards "us", as it's just "me" now, though we do share in the mortgage expenses. And, I haven't set up any special web site, or a name for this support fund, but I'm sure I can do those things if need be. And, under Notes, as of right now, I've just set up the PO Box address, included within her proposal above(I'll type it again at the end), and now I have a PayPal account. And, since my legal name is still my male name, Kirby Elam, I wasn't sure, if I do receive checks, if it should be made out to "Kirby" or "Kelli"? Or, "Cash", as she suggested? And, I wouldn't recommend sending actual cash, but I guess small amounts wouldn't be a problem.
So, I have finally decided to go through with this, and as they say, "let the chips fall where they may", though, I'm still a bit hesitant. And, please believe me when I tell you that I will still care, and always will care for each and every one of you, no matter if you can help, or not, because I know you love me, as I love you all too. Someday, I hope the(pardon the pun) "coin" will turn, and I will be able to help others in need. I'm not desperate here, I'm just in a rough patch. So anyway, thank you all for reading this, and of course, thank you to those who can help. I will pay it forward as soon as I can. Thank you so very much.
Vicky and I finally closed on a Townhome in Hollywood, FL on Tuesday, 6/16. For those of you who don't know where Hollywood, FL is, it's about 30 minutes north of Miami and 15 minutes south of Ft. Lauderdale, a nice central location.
We are going to have some work done on the place over then next few weeks and plan on being there permanently when the work is finished... hopefully the 1st or 2nd week of July.
We'll be walking distance from our favorite bar, Trixie's, the only full time TBar in Southern Florida. It just re-opened after being closed for almost 3 months following the death of the previous owner, Stanley. You can expect to find us there most Saturday nights.
Finally, we'll have plenty of space in our own place and can settle in and make Southern Florida our new home.
buisy buisy buisy makin time fur modelling yummny shiny elegant new rubber fetish couture , latex veils , mix match sheer stockings w. rubber nurse & mother superior kinky nurse uniforms in gassmasken germanic fetish style ..... new box's fulls of hi heels n rubber outfits have arrived thanks to a lovely loyal generouss supporter , and these styles of lusciouss couture definitely need as much love n much attention as the hi heeled tight lac'd fetischlifestyle allows
Hey everyone, so today I played this computer game called Little My Maid, its a japanese PC hentai game. If you don't know what hentai is, its japanese anime cartoon porn. I'm not into the whole hentai stuff but this game actually got me pretty turned on. Well anyways, you play this boy who is on vacation and sees this girl getting raped by 3 guys. You get to choose between saving her or doing nothing (I saved her ^_^) anyways you find out that she is a maid for this mansion. She takes you to the mansion and you find out that is ran all by these beautiful women. There is 4 maids and the owner of the mansion. Well the point of the game is mostly to read through the storyline which many parts you get to choose what happens next. Since this is a hentai game there are many scenes where you have sex with one of the maids or even the owner. I really liked the owner so I had sex with her the most. I really enjoyed the games, many parts of the game really turned me on. If anyone is interested in trying this game, I can tell you how to get it ^_^.
Peabody, Massachusetts (15 January-18 January 2009)
First, check out my new album "First Event 2009" which I just posted.
Better late than never, here is my report on First Event 2009 (though after reading this report you may not agree!).
My friend Jackie and I arrived late on Thursday evening at the hotel. Let me tell you it was C-O-L-D! at he door Denise Armel greeted us with a bear hug. Because we were so tired and had worked that day we went to our room, unpacked, and ordered food to be brought in.
On Friday we were up fairly early (9:30 A.M.) I LOVE the Marriott Hotels so we ordered room service for breakfast. The food was exquisite. We attended a couple of seminars and visited with some friends afterwards.
In the evening our intrepid sorority (Sorority Sisters of New England) went out dining in Boston. Tiffany Starr drove one vehicle and I drove my car since it has a kick ass heater. It was 5 degrees out.
Arriving at the No Name Restaurant in our group was Brenda Sue, Tiffany, Jennifer Lane, Jean W. Jackie T., and myself. The crowd inside was light due to the F-R-I-G-I-D weather outside (for me from Maine it was balmy!).
The waiters and waitresses were thrilled to see us all again and remembered when we visited before. I’m not sure if that is good but they did not throw us out so I guess we were acceptable.
The staff was so friendly and nice. We all filled up on delicious seafood dinners (I LOVE SEAFOOD!). After the round of drinks no one felt the cold too.
We met the radio personality Morgan White Jr. (The Man From T.R.V.I.A.) who has a show on WBZ-AM Radio. I think I made his day when I told him that I LOVE to WATCH RADIO! He just shook his head. He is a really nice guy BTW.
Later on we went back to the hotel and visited down in the lobby restaurant/bar. As usual at these events it was hopping!
On Saturday we got up late (10:00 A.M.) and got ready for the day’s festivities. We attended some seminars and met a lot of people that you do not get to see too often during the year (the grind of daily life sort of thing you know).
Jackie actually got a new presenter to come to First Event for the first time (Kathy Perez of Exceptional Voice in Denver, Colorado). She is an awesome lady and KNOWS HER STUFF! She is a board-certified speech pathologist. As one who is an expert in this field (If you do not know why then you do not know me very well!) if you want to feminize your voice or have any vocal issues then you need to go to a professional.
Saturday evening was the Awards Banquet. If you are not a member of the host organization (Tiffany Club of New England) then the awards are about as exciting as watching paint dry on a wall. They host this convention so this is their prerogative.
The dinner was quite tasty. Jean W., Jennifer Lane, Brenda Sue, and Jackie were also in attendance. Unlike last year there was no dancing in the spacious dining room but rather in the exceedingly cramped bar/restaurant. Most of the girls would rather go drink than dance. My observation on this is that is a more of a male pattern than a female pattern. Girls like to dance, guys do not! (Here come the complaints now!).
We danced the night away and then adjourned to the infamous Dr. Z upstairs party. In attendance was the Royal Couple (the plastic dolls). It’s weird how a naked plastic doll just evokes such interest.
In the late evening it was snowing heavily. When Jackie and I got down to the lobby at 10:00 A.M. most participants had bailed. We ate the "Brunch" (Hey! BRUNCH is BR for BREAKFAST and UNCH for LUNCH. Why was there only breakfast food available?) For the price this is a real rip off. I would suggest that if you attend this event in the future that you simply have room service or order in the restaurant.
Jackie and I decided to stay another day and avoid the hassles of the snow. We sat down in the lobby watching the beautifully fallen, flaky snow come cascading down. While chatting with Jamie Dailey and some other girls a big brute of a guy lumbered over and in a hushed voice told us he was coming to First Event. He said he could not get their earlier since he was ill. I have my thoughts on this "illness" but will remain quiet. He left after a couple of hours after we gave him some requested info.
I realized that at 4 P.M. I was still wearing my nametag. I am sure I was the LAST participant to be wearing one for this year!
That evening Jackie and I had a lovely dinner in the restaurant. The hotel was deserted. It was so nice and the staff even came over to visit with us. Later we watched a movie.
On Monday the weather was nice. When I checked out it was amazing to see that the hotel staff had actually shoveled out, and cleared the snow off of my car. Talk about service!
I left for home well satisfied with my "First Event 2009" experience. It has been an EXTREMELY long time since I have been out like this and it was very nice.
Sunday, October 5 Awwww…..it’s now Sunday…the last day at SCC. Sadly, time to say goodbye…and yes, that was a difficult thing to do, just as I had read about in friends’ blog from previous SCC events. And yes, I did cry, in private…though, while packing when Tracy was in the room packing also, the tears appeared…but we gave each other a good long hug and that helped. Tracy, thank you for allowing me to share your room! Friends forever, girlfriend!! ((HUGS)) So, being the last day, of course meant: “Travel Day”! Which, for me at least, meant traveling as Kelli…and, after my successful trip to Atlanta, and with the past 5 days’ worth of accumulated experiences as Kelli—OMG it was JUST so WONDERFUL to JUST BE ME!!---I felt very confident that the return trip would be just as successful. But first: Packing! Or, should I say “stuffing”….and, then, I couldn’t get the big bag zipper to close! But, eventually, superior strength and determination won out. Tracy and I then went down for breakfast. What a sweet girl Tracy is…and no, not just because she bought my breakfast. For letting me stay with her, that’s an obvious one…but also, most importantly, for “being there”, and sharing her life with me during this MOST AMAZING of times in my life! And, as this was Tracy’s first time at SCC, I would suspect she shared similar feelings towards me. After breakfast we went back upstairs to finish packing. But then I remembered that there was some kind of “wrap up” meeting, and I’d thought it was open to any attendee…looking at my handy-dandy SCC booklet, and yes, it was! I thought this would be a nice way to end my time here, so down to the meeting I went. Tracy was still packing, and she had to leave for the airport around noonish, so she didn’t come with, but I was sure we’d be able to say goodbye after the meeting. Well, as it turned out, I missed her…sigh. But, that’s ok, we had a good talk before breakfast, and during breakfast too, so the bond of friendship is there. (and we chatted the next day on YIM, so it’s all cool) Ok, so I arrive at the meeting late…and, I notice my friend Leslie sitting behind the main tables, waving me in….yay, someone familiar and friendly(not that I found anyone who wasn’t friendly my whole time there…well, there were a few girls who, I don’t think it wasn’t being “friendly”, I just think they were nervous—perfectly understandable…and, after I would tell them that this was my first SCC, that seemed to help them relax, at least with me…). Everyone was introducing themselves, and telling what they enjoyed(and sometimes, disliked) about their time at SCC, and some offered suggestions to possibly make next years event an even better one. I noticed a few girls I was familiar with—Allyson, Leslie of course, Sandy Dunkle, a few others. Eventually, it was my turn to “Say Hello”, and, although I’m not an accomplished speaker(especially in front of a group) or anything, I think I did OK…I just thanked SCC for the opportunity, and of course, for the scholarship(and, not long after the meeting was over, Blake Alford, SCC’s scholarship director, came over with his business card, and a warm hug, personifying exactly what it was like to be there: Friendship, Harmony and Love—Celebrating LIFE!)…and also, thanking my friends—4 girls in particular: My “anonymous plane ticket benefactor”, and my roomies, Bridgett and Tracy, and also Chloe Prince, who, over those 5 days, became someone truly special in my life…truly, a “Sister” for life ( HUGS, Sweetie!!)…and, of course, I thanked my wife. I thought of her often during my time in Atlanta. Without her being in my life…where would I be today?? Not long after my “speech”, in walked the one and only Chloe! As the introductions were still going, I went over to talk(ok, whisper) to her…knowing we’d both be leaving Atlanta soon, so it was time to say “so long”…but not before one last hug(oh ok, 3), and also, more words of advice, and encouragement from her. I think she was almost as proud of my accomplishments here, and traveling, as I was! “Big Sister/Little Sister” indeed.
My flight didn’t leave until 4pm, so I had some time to get my bags, check out, and mingle some. (It was interesting that morning, in seeing some girls now in drab…and, for some, I REALLY had to think…”Is that…??” Wow!) For some reason, I forgot about lunch. (Yeah right, Kells ) I had some nice conversations in the lobby. But, I was also trying to figure out how I was going to pay for my big bag, because I knew it was going to be overweight, and they would tack on a $50 charge…and, I had around $35 on me…what to do, what to do. I did ask a couple of girls if they could help, but they couldn’t—either almost out of money themselves, or needing what they had to get home…all perfectly understandable. So it came time to leave the hotel. Sigh. As I was waiting for the shuttle to take to the nearby MARTA station, I met 2 lovely and sweet girls, Kelly and Jia. Kelly was there as a representative of Dr. Pierre Brassard, the well-known GRS surgeon from Montreal, and actually she said she did the seminar for him, since he couldn’t make it this year. She was very sweet, and gave me one of Dr. Brassard’s dvds. I also struck up a conversation with Jia, who I later learned was also from Illinois! We sat together on the train, and I had the most pleasant time with Jia…someone I would definitely like to stay in contact with. And, she helped me keep my mind off of feeling sad, leaving SCC and Atlanta. Thank you Jia!!
Ok, so this is where things get a bit “interesting”…not that my whole time up to this point wasn’t interesting…FAAAARRRR from it! But, this time, flying back home…and, I totally realized it after I got home and thought about this day…was a tremendous morale and confidence booster, and I was actually(a very rare thing for me) very proud of myself! Arriving at the ticket counter, with Jia, I placed my checked(not officially yet though) bag on their(Delta) weight scale thingy—“Ding Ding—68 lbs.!!”(silly thing, it shouldn’t say that outloud!! ) Which, meant it was now 18 lbs. overweight(I think I lost 18 lbs. while in Atlanta, hehe), and, now they needed $50 for the overweight charge…well, I only had $36(Oh, come on now, Delta, can’t you see WHY this bag is so huge?! SCC! Heloooo!!). And, Jia was about out of money herself…so, she suggested to find another bag and maybe they’d allow 2 carry-ons….but, after searching a bit at a nearby store, we couldn’t find any…and, then, out of the blue, 2 more fellow SCC’ers happened to walk by. Maybe they saw concern in my face(I really didn’t want to throw things away at this point to get under the weight limit, and besides, I’m in the busiest airport in the world, and I really don’t want to open my suitcase and rummage through….), and the girl(sigh…I still can’t remember her name…and, though her friend gave me his business card, and I wrote to him last week, thanking him(and his friend) for helping me, and asking what his friend’s name is…I haven’t heard back from him yet…so, for now, it’s just “the girl who helped me”. ) suggested we go to a nearby U.S. Postal store and stuff a couple of boxes…great idea—just as long as it costs less than $36, cause that’s all I had. Well, as it turned out, I didn’t need to worry about that part, since she said she’d take care of it…and, that’s another reason I need to contact her, I gotta pay her back! So(and by this time Jia had to catch her plane—thank you SO much for helping me, Jia!!) we went into the postal store, hurriedly made a couple of boxes, stuffed them full of shoes, books and a few clothes, taped them up(and actually, she did most of the work)…and, just as she was taping up the boxes, I looked at the clock—Ooooh, it’s 3:30!! My plane takes off at 3:55! OOOOPS!! She said “GO GO, I’ll take care of this….”, and I thanked her, then off I scooted to the ticket counter. Yay, the bag now weighed 49 lbs(we had weighed it in the postal store)--whew! Boo, I was too late…the bag wouldn’t make it in time.
So…..now, what to do? Well, now I had to go around to the other side to a different set of ticket agents, and, after waiting in line about 15 minutes(ya, I was starting to get tired), I tried to book a seat on a new flight, or actually, change flights, since it was already paid for….well, for one, there were no seats available on the 3 flights to St. Louis that day, and, yes, they charge $50 to change tickets…BIG double sigh. They said check back every half hour or so. Ok…sure….what other choice did I have? Well, first of all, I still needed $14 to pay for the $50 charge…so, without a debit card or any other source of money available… OH wait! I have my wits about me still! And, I’m Kelli, which means…well, let’s just say, people are more willing, I believe, to help women in need(I’m somewhat guessing there)—you know, a “damsel in distress”. Anyway, I went back to the central atrium area, and sat for awhile…but right before I sat down, I quickly scanned the area, hoping to find someone(s) who, maybe, just maybe might possibly be sympathetic, and possibly give me enough money(all I needed was $14!) to change the ticket. Yeah, I know, this sounds desperate, and, well, I was getting desperate, but I didn’t want to sound or look desperate… I noticed 2 women, probably around my age, and I thought, “Well, I gotta try something…” So, after a few minutes(after first saying hello), I began to introduce myself and then explain my situation. Well, within seconds(not kidding), the 2 women(2 more angels this day!) gave me $14. Of course, I wanted get their names to pay them back…but, they said not to worry. So, I thanked them, and hugged them too, and went back to the counter. Still no luck, all booked. I went back again to sit for awhile—same spot, and waited for awhile, and talked to those 2 nice women for a bit again. (Now I SO wish I could have received an e-mail address or something from them…but, oh well.) Then I went back again to the counter, and to a different agent. Still the same answer: No seats available. But, this person, a sweet lady, kept trying…and, after a few minutes, she said she found a seat! Yay!! As she was typing up the ticket info, I was mentioning to her my situation, that I only had $50 to get home, plus I mentioned the parking situation(needing another $60 or so…) back in St. Louis….and, I guess, she felt sorry for me, because she then said, “Forget about the fee, just go catch your flight, don’t worry about it.” Can you believe it?? I still can’t…but, it actually happened, and now, I had $50! But I still needed that, and a bit more, to pay for the parking in STL. But I was HUNGRY too, and, being that my new flight wasn’t for another 3 hours, and knowing there wouldn’t be much offered (cookies or peanuts—btw, I thought peanuts were banned on flights now, because of the allergens…guess not!) on that flight, I broke down and bought some fries at Wendy’s, and a drink. Now I could at least relax a bit, get some “nourishment”, and then think about what to do next(the parking situation). (Sorry this is so detailed, and no doubt tedious…but, it’s all a part of my first time out, at least traveling-wise, as Kelli, and really, I feel that I wouldn’t have been as successful in receiving help that day, if I were traveling as youknowwho…as you will see, again, on my flight home.)
Now, it was time to head to and through security. Ooops, I forgot my 3 oz. baggie! Thank goodness they had free ones near the checkpoint. Security, of course, was one place I was concerned about, at least somewhat, since I still have that “M” on my ID(drivers license)…but, coming down to ATL wasn’t a problem at all…and, this time turned out the same way! (I do wonder though, what each specific agent was thinking….) So, I gathered my stuff, put my sandals back on, and away I went to my designated concourse. SHEEESH Hartsfield/Jackson is HUGE!! They do have a cool tram to each concourse, but I decided to walk(helps to have those long moving sidewalks). I arrive at my gate about 3 hours prior to liftoff(OH, I would love to be the first transgender space tourist!! “All” I need is 20 million smackerooooos! Hmmm…maybe if I find just a few more “angels”….). Wasn’t much to do to pass that time away….I didn’t want to eat any more, since now I was down to around $46….there was a game on tv, but it was the Cowboys(boring!)….I could add to my journal, or do some reading, or call/text people on my phone….I decided to do the latter, while people watching(and, watching if people were watching me, hehe ). Yes, I called Jeannie. She was doing ok she said, and just about to receive another meal brought in from her church, and of course, I told her I would be a lil late. After awhile, I needed to use the facilities…yes, for “normal” reasons, but also because I hadn’t shaved my face since around 10am, and even though my beard doesn’t grow all that fast, I just felt like I needed it done. So, finding a stall, I scootched my carry-on in, and then proceeded to sit down and…shave too. (Try and picture that scene. ) I didn’t stop on the way out to wash my hands(that’s what Wet Ones are for!) and check my face—I’m still a bit concerned around “gg’s”, especially in that type of situation…in time, I’ll get better…plus, there were pre-teen girls in there, and they might say something to their mother’s, etc…. I sat back at the waiting area, as another hour passed…and then got in line for my seat assignment---yes, one more concern, since my boarding pass said “seat unassigned”, I guess since this was an exchanged ticket…so, even though I had the ticket… But, everything was fine, my seat was 37B…ok, that’s fine, I guess. It turned out to be 2nd to last row….ok no problem…but, when I got back there, and tried to place my carry-on in the bin above—it wouldn’t fit. Panic!! Well, ok, I didn’t panic, but I quickly thought, “if I have to check this bag….(you know, the $50 charge for an extra checked bag, and I didn’t have that much cash…)….” (Btw, remind me never to travel again without enough money! ) But, once again, another angel came to my rescue, as a flight attendant eventually, after a few tries, found a spot for it “mid-ship”. Whew!! I then sat for a few minutes in the last row, just to rest a bit, and also to think about this: I noticed my assigned seat was between to men…and, although I had been fine traveling as Kelli so far, I hadn’t run into this type of situation yet—sitting between to men, as a girl, and my first time…. So, eventually the folks where I was sitting arrived, so I had to get to my seat. This is where it gets interesting…again. >wink< Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever wonder, when things do go well, why it happens? I do. Maybe because life this past year or so hasn’t been all that great. My wife has cancer—although we hope now it is “had” cancer. And, concerns about paying the medical bills…along with the property taxes. We dealt through a bankruptcy. The “daily dealings” (what that does to my wife and her feelings, I mean…but, also just with simple things like, going grocery shopping, buying gas, etc., and wondering if I will get “those looks”, or something else—though I guess it does “help” some that I’m more in an androgynous stage vs. fully looking feminine, especially living here, in Podunkville, where most people know me….) of me, as I inch along with my transitioning. And along with that, our plans to split-up and divorce eventually. And, coming out to various people. A LOT on both of our plates. So, when good things happen, it’s kinda shocking. And, I must say, almost everything good happened to me on this trip---and, it’s a good thing, because I NEEDED everything to go well, just to make it home! So, now I’m sitting between 2 men---hopefully gentlemen! The man on my right never said a word to me the whole time in the plane(around 90 minutes). But, thankfully, the man on my left, in the window seat, was just the opposite of that. I believe the word “gregarious” fits him perfectly—in every positive sense of that word…in other words, he talked to the folks in front of us, the folks behind us, the flight attendants…but, most importantly, he was friendly and nice to me. “Hi, I’m Terry….” “Hi, I’m Kelli….” Eventually I began talking about my wife, and her recent troubled times with her illness. And, I’m sure he heard the “my wife” part, I had said that several times over the course of around, oh, the first 45 minutes of our conversation(we weren’t constantly talking the whole time…but, when we weren’t, I was wondering what he was thinking…and, also wondering if he was glancing at my chest…well, hey, I had never sat this close, for this long, to a man before, dressed as Kelli…). But, he never seemed changed expression or give any hint of curiosity. Eventually he related why he was on the flight—he was heading to Nigeria to visit an online girlfriend…I kid you not!(And, I thought I was “crazy”, driving 300 miles to go meet Jeannie when we began dating, after meeting online ) But, he forgot his visa...so, he had to return home to the St. Louis area. I felt for the guy…and, I hope that they can someday get together. Not long after that, he asked me what brought me to Atlanta. And, I really didn’t hesitate at all. I’m just SO tired of hiding who I am, having to be careful, etc. I will keep doing that, for Jeannie’s sake, and for mine too, if I believe my safety might be of concern. But he seemed the sort who wouldn’t mind…and yes, I was taking a chance, especially since I still planned to ask him for help with my parking situation. “I was in Atlanta for a convention of transgender people…yes, I am transgendered.” He then said that he had no problem with that, and everyone has to live their lives as they see fit…. I was SO relieved! He then said he was curious after hearing me say “my wife”….but he was cool about it. So, not long after that, and feeling more confident TO ask for help, I explained my parking situation, and that I needed around $20. Out of the kindness of his heart, he gave me $40! SUCH a sigh of relief came over me! I’m breaking into tears now just thinking about it, as I did then. I said I would pay him back, and he said that’s fine, take your time, and gave me his business card. So, yes, once again, another angel entered my life that day. Several times, until we parted, he would say “young lady….” when speaking to me, or “this little lady….” when speaking to someone else… and I thought that was pretty cool too. He even pulled my carry-on to the luggage carousel. I thanked him again, and then we parted ways. So, yes, once again, another angel entered my life that day!
Well, the rest of the way, it was just catching the shuttle to the parking area, paying the attendant, and driving the 60 miles home—hoping that the car would make it without breaking down! It did…but I didn’t---not break down I mean. Maybe I’m exaggerating about this…being still so close since I was away, but I really think that this was…maybe with the exception of time when I knew I had fallen in love with Jeannie, and she felt the same for me….the best time of my life! And, as time will tell, possibly the most important week of my life. Definitely one of the proudest times! I really did this….I went to SCC! And, I traveled there and back as Kelli! And, I had no problems, with either situation…besides the low cash flow of course. But that’s the thing: I had to keep calm, cool and collected while trying to find a way home—as Kelli…and, although I had obviously not planned to have such a difficult time going home, I think I learned some valuable lessons along the way. (One, that it pays to be a girl sometimes---I’m serious, because I really believe if I were traveling as Kirby, I would not have been as successful with all the people I encountered that day who helped me get home. Maybe I’m wrong there, but I don’t think so, and besides, I don’t plan on traveling in male mode anymore anyway. ) The main lesson learned? Be confident in who you are! Leading up to going to SCC, that’s what my friends kept telling me—“Just be confident, Kelli, and that will help you in so many ways…..” And, it’s so true! Jeannie was in bed by the time I arrived home. Still awake though, and she was happy I was home safely. I wanted to let her get her rest, so I related my “travel travails” the next day. I know she can never be as proud of me as I felt about myself that day, and that’s ok, it’s perfectly understandable, but maybe, deep down, she thinks what I did was “OK”. For once in my life, I was proud of myself!! A good beginning to hopefully a good, and successful new life.
Where do I go from here? Well, for one, finish this blog! Hehe…sorry for the length(if anyone is still with me—Thank you Thank you!! ), but I had to express what happened during that most wonderful of times! Wow, it’s 2 weeks almost to the minute now since I left home…a time I know I will never ever forget. And, I must re-thank all of those angels who helped me experience this “New Beginning”. First, my wife—for all the obvious reasons. Secondly, “my friend who wishes to remain anonymous”(wasn’t that Prince’s name back in the 90’s? ), who purchased(let me use her miles, actually) the plane ticket. I obviously can’t post her link here, but maybe this "Friendship" will be a good representation of her, and our friendship. Next, Bridgett Sommers, my first roomie---and, what a lovely girl she is. Here’s just one sample . Love you, girl, thank you!! ((HUGS)) And next, Tracy Schapes, my Saturday roomie—one of the sweetest people I met in Atlanta(good thing, eh?? )! Love you too, girl! ((HUGS)) Chloe Prince , who probably doesn’t need an introduction, but she does have my love for a lifetime. Thank you, Sister!! ((HUGS)) And another friend, who couldn’t be there, is Samantha, a friend from California, who has been SUCH a good friend the past couple of months, with her always kind words of love and encouragement—and, clothes! Thank you SO much, sweetie(and your friend Sammi too!)!! ((HUGS)) And, Candice, whom I already knew from URNA, but I had wanted to meet for quite awhile, not only because of the obvious reasons, but also because she’s been such a sweetheart with her concern about my wife…as she has went through similar times recently with her wife. Love you so much, sweetie! ((HUGS)) Oh, and of course, the many other friends I met while at SCC! Oh gosh…Michelle, Deja, Gina, Debbie, Sandy, Cheryl, Leslie, Rachel, Danielle, Rebecca, Tara, Cami, Kim, Bonnie, Christianne, Ronnie, Keri, Mandi, Shawna, Allyson, Kelly, Jia, Lee & Friend(at the airport)….and, many many more!! Love you girls!! ((HUGS)) Oh, and yes, Larry, my friend from Canada—thank you, hon! Oh, and of course, everyone involved with SCC—the staff, the volunteers(I hope to be one next year!), and especially Blake Alford, for offering the scholarship! ((HUGS)) Oh, and the hotel and staff at the lovely Crowne Plaza-Ravinia! And, yes, I DO plan to stay at your fine establishment next year—and hopefully next time paying my own way. >wink< All those involved with the seminars…and specifically for me, Donna Rose, Jessica McKinnon and Jennifer Boylan…all amazing, all inspiring….just amazing. And thanks to everyone at the Vendor area(all SO friendly—sorry I couldn’t buy anything—next year!), and also the people at the Career Fair. Hopefully by next year I’ll be better able to use your services….unless I have new job/career going by then of course. Oh, and all who were so very accommodating over at the Perimeter Mall—at the restaurants(Yay, Hudson Grille and Goldfish!), at the stores(Yay, Charlotte Russe and Arden B.!). Oh, and of course, last but certainly not least—Delta Air! I think I have a new favorite airline. Oh, and I must thank all of those online girlfriends, who couldn’t be in Atlanta, but encouraged me to have a great time, and LIVE life as the girl in my heart. Love you girls!! And, one more thank you: To Jessica, my best friend: I know you wanted to be there with me, and with “the girls” (next year, girl!)…but believe in yourself, honey, and believe that things will get better…with your health, with your career, with your parents…and hey, with your love life too! Go for it, girlfriend!! Love you SO much! ((HUGS))
Well, now I’m a “veteran”, not only of the SCC experience, but of being out in the world as Kelli. Of course, I know that I have a LONG way to go before I am completely comfortable in the world as Kelli…and, the world comfortable with me too. But I am heading, finally, in the right direction. I am very excited, and, much more confident in myself, and really, in others too, especially those in the general population. I know I won’t always be as fortunate as I was, in my travels that week, but then again, the confidence I did gain will be invaluable, as I continue along my journey. I must admit here, that I was humbled, very much, by the amazingly gorgeous, sophisticated and intelligent(and fun-loving!) girls I met while at SCC. Now, yes, I know, this isn’t some type of contest(though maybe it is for some, and that’s ok) to “be the best girl at the party”…and, that certainly wasn’t why I wanted to attend this event. And, this is just me talking, but given my history of low self-confidence(for many reasons), I did sometimes feel I wasn’t quite "there" yet, that I wasn’t quite “cool enough”…and yes, being with that many girls all in one place at one time, at times was a bit intimidating…but, those moments didn’t last long, as I truly did feel my confidence growing, the longer I was there. But, I did learn many valuable lessons while there—most important though, truly, are the friendships made, and the love shared. YOU are the main reason I had the wonderful time I did have while at “Celebrate Life—2008!” Thank you Girls!! Thank you SCC!! What a perfect way to begin celebrating my new life!
Hey girls! Hows everyone doing? So anyways like a couple of weeks ago my gf was going to throw out a old shirt that was a little worn out on one side, and OMG its such a cute shirt, but anyways lol, I told her to not throw it out and she asked if I want it since like I give her my shirts sometimes. She asked me if I was going to wear it cuz she thought it was weird that I wanted it in the first place (oh yea, if you dont know, my gf doesn't know that I dress) and I just told her that I wanted it for like a memory thing so when Im not was her, I have something of hers. So anyways today she gave me it, and when I got home I tried it on. Its a little tight but I like it. Its a black shirt and the shoulders are a see-through pattern. Its really cute. Hopefully the next time I dress I can take some pics and let everyone see it. ^_^
Vicky's modest so I'll go ahead and post this. The History Project http://www.historyproject.org tracks important events in LGBT History. They also have a section for important events in LGBT Latino/a History and Vicky gets several mentions...
1980: The Paradise gay bar in Cambridge initiates Boston's first Latino Night with popular disc jockey, Conrado Cardenas. The event soon moves to Chaps (*Note from Jon: it moved to Chaps in 1990) and is greatly amplified by empresario Alvaro Ortiz, discover and promoter of Vicky. Latino night becomes a significant AIDS education vehicle for latino gay men.
1994: World’s First Lesbian and Gay Latino Theater series, Spic Out: Latino Lesbian and Gay Theater, produced by Abe Rybeck and the Theater Offensive, brings a new queer Latino performance scene to Boston. Plays and performances written by Beto Araiza, Carmelita Tropicana, Enrique Oliver, Senel Paz, Marga Gomez, Paul Bonin-Rodriguez are featured. *Note from Jon: Enrique Oliver's Play was Castro's Child, in which Vicky played the Alter Ego of a Cuban Exile living in Boston.
1996: WGBH's La Plaza presents Boston, Wednesday night… The Night That I Met Vicky. Wednesday nights are when Boston’s Latino gay and lesbian community comes together at a disco known as Chaps. This show interviews Vicky and others about Latino night at Chaps.
1998: Vicky, Boston’s most recognized Latino drag performer produces the first Miss Gay Latina Bombshell contest. It is held at the Jorgé Hernandez Community Center at Villa Victoria in the South End, making it the first Latino gay sponsored event at the Center. Contestants include Boston's Avian Waters, Coco Lopez, and Amanda.
1998: Vicky sponsors a party at Buddies that coincides with the 100th anniversary of the invasion of Puerto Rico by the US on August 25, 1898.
I had a formal makeover and photo session on Sunday, January 4th. Later this week I should have some new photos, my first big group of new photos since last May. They will include some casual "bare leg" looks with denim and flip flops, as well as some more dressed up office lady looks. Some of the photos will show off the pedicure I had (vivid pink nail polish). Also, my hair is in a longer style now, well below my shoulders. Kim :-)
P.S. My photos have started arriving in my email, and I posted two of them on my profile here so far [a/o January 10th]. You can see more of them on my photostream at flickr.com/kimberlyvirtue.
It appears that the case of the missing journal entry postings has been SOLVED!
I can see from my own list of the number of journal entries posted on my site that last June 4th was a busy day. I know I have posted quite a few journal entries over the years but not 53 of them!!! I can talk and write alot but . . . . .
Trying to repair the site the guys posted over 30 test entries on my site in just a few hours! When the site recently got repaired these disappearing journal entries suddenly reappeared. I just noticied this and have spent time deleting the test items.
I would suggest that everyone go delete repetative journal/test items to cut down on the clutter.
Thanks Dan & Jon for the great work in making Urnotalone such an awesome place!!! You have proved yourselves again!
Since my last entry....
Linda Lewis October 19th, 2009 4:23 pm MDTThis journal enty is the first since all my computer problems, and the problems URNA had with the old format for their site. It seems that everything is working as it should be.
The neighbors who moved in the apartment below mine have come and gone in the past year. They were almost as bad as the two guys living there before. I had to put up with hearing two dogs barking at everything as well as their owners yelling at them. I actually had more peace and quiet when I was at work than I did at home. I now have another set of new neighbors who moved in downstairs. These seem to be a little better than the last, so I'll wait and see if they become loud and obnoxious like the last.
My computer seems to be running as it did before. I have upgraded it's RAM memory to 2.4Gigs. I was never able to recover the pictures I lost, but luckily I have most of them posted on my websites and in my Flickr account. I have been dressing more lately and even bought some new clothes from Victoria's Secret. I also have an even bigger "E" cup version of my Cleavage Croptop. Check out my Newest Pics gallery to view pics of them. My profile pic shows my "E" cup "girls". The Yellow dress pics are of my "D" cup "girls".
I did attend my first convention in nearly 9 years back in June this year. It was wonderful seeing my friends from years past, as well as meeting new girls who have only seen me via the Net. I also was reinstated as a member of Vanity Club, and I thank all those ladies who helped me back into the group. I love you girls!
I hope the next several months ahead will be enjoyable with the holidays soon upon us. Take care and I hope to be around more often. *Hugs*
[Comment on this post]
Toe Nails
Sakura The Cutie October 4th, 2009 8:42 pm MDTYesterday, my gf thought it would be fun to paint my toe nails, and I just said ok. She used a purple color thats a little shiny. I feel so pretty now ^_^
[1 comment]
July 09: Chicago GLBT, Vacation & Jackie's FFS
Karen Reeves July 26th, 2009 3:55 pm MDTMy friend Jackie and I went on summer holiday to northern New York State, Ohio, Indiana, Pennsylvania, and Illinois. We got out of New England just before the floods in Connecticut (7 inches of rain fell in just 4 hours!). I got water in the basement of my house for the first time since I have owned it. Thank God I had friends in the area to check up on the home (they had to wet vac the basement however). It was not much rainwater inside but even an inch can cause a huge problem when it sits around for a few weeks. My neighbors down the hill were not so lucky and had huge problems. There was massive flooding in the town where I live!
We went to Fort Stanwix in Rome, NY and then on to Seneca Falls. There was a lovely canal which Jackie and I spent some time sitting along and having a drink (2nd photo #1). It is ironic that we had picture perfect weather the whole time we were gone. There were sunny, cool days and cool nights.
We made it to Buffalo and Teddy Roosevelt Inaugural Nat. Historic Site (2nd photo #2). This is where Teddy became President after President McKinley was assassinated. President Karen Reeves (what a scary thought!!!) had her picture taken behind the President's desk (2nd photo #3). Notice how I take charge!
The two of us then headed into Ohio to Cuyahoga Valley National Park. A National Park in Northern Ohio? It's not exactly Yellowstone or Yosemite for sure! Jackie took a pic of me (2nd photo #4) on the boardwalk by Brandywine Falls. It was very nice there.
We then headed west to the town of Put-In-Bay, which sits on an island in the middle of Lake Erie reachable only by ferry boat. It was a spectacular day. The boat trip out was nice and the views from the tower in Perry's Victory and International Peace Memorial were breath taking (2nd photo #5). There were too many tourists and I almost took some out with my car. I'm not sure if it was accidental or not!
Nest stop was the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. Jackie and I waded into the waters of Lake Michigan (2nd photo #6). The Great Lakes are like the Atlantic Ocean but without the salty smell or feel of saltwater on your bod. We wish we had more time to spend here but we had to make some miles on this day.
We then made it to our hotel in Glenview, Illinois. My friend Jackie T. got ready to have her FFS performed on her by Dr. Mark Zukowski. She was, of course, quite nervous, but she faced the situation with great calm and determination. That's Jackie! You go girl J !!!
On Sunday, June 28th , a couple of days before her surgery, Jackie and I participated in the Chicago GLBT Pride Parade (See the Main Photo). We were on a float sponsored by Dr. Z along with a live rock band. I thought the crowds would be a few thousand. They estimated that the crowds along the route might have reached a million people! As we waved and danced we saw people lined up 20, 30, even 40 deep along the route. There were even people hanging out of apartment windows and on balconies. It was a little overwhelming for a girl from the coast of Maine but it was great fun. What an adrenaline rush! Thanks Dr. Z for the invite and for dinner!
In the next photo (2nd photo #7) I am admiring some interesting sculpture.
The nicest part of this parade was that these huge throngs of diverse people, from every background that you can imagine, were all smiles, respectful, and having a fantastic time. Smiles were the order of the day.
Jackie came through the surgery with flying colors. The next few days did not allow for much sleep for her and for me.I was her care giver and I set a new record of staying awake in hours playing nurse & maid. (I hope she does not sue me for malpractice!!! YIKES!!!). I figure I was awake for two days straight.
Jackie was doing well enough after just four days that we went out to see the fireworks on July 4th in Glenview at the golf course. It was kind of weird to be allowed to sit on the greens with chairs and blankets when normally you would be chased away. The show was great.
The next day I went back to the golf course to take some day time photos of the gold course. Two guys offered to be "male models" for my pics. I didn't know that golfing made guys soooooo HORNY!!!!
We also were lucky enough to be able to visit Brenda Sue in her new condo on the north shore. Jackie was not up for doing much but a few hours out was good for her. Brenda's pad was beautiful. She lives in a nice area along Lake Michigan It is very rural. Hey Annette! This area that you are from is NICE!!!
My only complaint is that Brenda cooked us hamburgers that must have been two pounds each. They were delicious but after all this time I AM STILL FULL! Thanks Brenda, Anne, and Colin!
It was finally time to head back east. We spent an extra day in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania coming back since this return trip was hard on Jackie who was still recuperating from her surgery. By the way she is looking even more beautiful with every passing day! Drop her a line!
The last new pic of me on my page (2nd photo #8) was taken by Jackie at Pocono Downs NASCAR Raceway. This place is massive! We love NASCAR!
We arrived home safe and sound. It was time to crash!
*Kisses*
~Karen~
[1 comment]
A Sister in Need
Kelli Nicole Elam June 19th, 2009 12:58 pm MDTHi there URNA friends. As I stated on my "Status/Banner" message on my main page here, I just recently sent the message below, to all on my Yahoo mail contact list, and also to some others on my Yahoo Messenger friend's list. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and if you can help, I would be very greatful and appreciative. I will help a fellow sister, or sisters, as soon as I can. Be well everyone.
W/Love,
Kelli
Hello Everyone,
About 3 weeks ago, I sent, to many of you, the e-mail below, asking for some help, and I explained why, etc. Well, "things" are not getting much better since then, so I'm sending this to everyone one on my contacts list, even to those with whom I don't have much contact with. And also, I wanted to add here, that I now have a PayPal account, so if you are still interested in helping out, that option is now available. Of course, as I said in this letter, if you can help--Wonderful, thank you SO much! (And, if you already have helped out--Thank You!!) And if you can't, I totally understand, believe me, I do. Oh, and since this was sent, I did go to Be-All, and I DID have a FABulous time!! And, somehow I did it all with less than $100 to spend, with MANY thanks to Dr. Ousterhout and Dr. Zukowski, who funded the scholarship I won, and to my friends Bobbie Jane, Zoey and Robbi, for allowing me to stay with them at the hotels. So, yes, despite my current troubles, I am definitely a VERY blessed young lady!! Thank you so much for reading this, again, and thank you all for being my friend. It's never easy being a woman, especially "starting out" this late in life...but, I'll get there, and become whole, of this I have no doubt at all. Best wishes to all of you in your respective journeys! And please, I am here for you also. Take care everyone. (HUGS)
~Kelli
Hello Everyone,
How are you all? As I am sending this e-mail to everyone using "BCC", that's why I say "all". And, although of course, this e-mail is going to each of you, individually, the reason I'm sending it to all of you at one time, is that I am needing some help. Financial help that is. I've been debating, in my mind, for months now, as to whether to send this e-mail...going back and forth, over and over again... is it wrong(even, "audacious"?) to ask for money from people, especially these days?....will I lose friends, because of this?....and, how could I prove, if I did get funds, where it goes/how I spend it?.... And, believe me when I say this--I REALLY don't like asking for help, especially financial help, as I feel like, I don't know, like a "failure"...and, maybe I am in some ways, as I have a job/career that doesn't pay all that much(around $10 an hour)(I'm a Digitizer--computer software embroidery, we manf. marching band uniforms)...and, I have, and am looking for additional work, but around here, there isn't much, but I'll keep trying. So, yes, I have thought about doing this for months now, and actually I did do this, via Yahoo 360, last September, as some of you may recall--and, I thank again, those who were able to help us!....and, even then, I felt very embarrassed to ask for anything(not to mention the timing, what with the economy going downhill fast back then....and, of course, it's not much better, if not worse, nowadays), At that time, I was still married, and my wife was going through her chemotherapy, after having surgery in May(2008), and almost concurrently we went into a bankruptcy, which of course, both being almost overwhelming for us. We persevered and made it through "Okay" though. A positive thing, during her illness(and, she's doing fine now, the cancer has not returned--one year now!), we both did become closer again (we'd decided the summer before to end our marriage, although I did hold out a sliver of hope that maybe we could stay together....)but, despite our spending more time together last year, we still came to the same conclusion: We needed to live our own lives, separately. This past February, Betty moved out, to live with her daughter and family, while I've been living here at home. Our divorce became final on March 13th...and, I must admit, that first month after she moved out was terrible, painful, not fun at all. But anyway, I'm doing better nowadays, at least emotionally, and I do hope that she is also. We still see each other often, mostly to deal with bills we still share in paying, and we get along well, that's not really been much of an issue. And I will always care for her, and love her, in some way. Anyway, my, and our main problem, is money, and it's becoming more and more difficult as the days go by. We are splitting up the 2 mortgage payments, evenly of course, plus a car payment, and I'm taking care of the other home "monthlies"(electric, water, etc.) while she has her own bills to take care of(chemo/hospital/doctor bills, plus her school loans)(and, she doesn't make much more than I do--she's a medical biller/coder)...but, now, it's come just about to the point where I, and we, can't keep up with it all. And recently I've been cut back to 4 day weeks. (She's still working full time, thankfully.) I've also cancelled the land line phone, and now the television costs(satellite), and a few other things(no, not food, I'm still eating, but not as much--can't you tell? ) So, we've decided to sell this house....despite how the market is, and despite the fact we probably won't get too much out of the sale, with those mortgages...plus, we couldn't pay our property taxes last year(still can't), and now this year's taxes are coming up soon....I think this is the point where I start sighing, and crying. I'm just so tired of this "craziness"....we almost lost her car to repossession a couple of months ago, and also one of the mortgages was a few months behind---thankfully, some family members helped out with those problems...and just last week I was 10 days not paying the electric bill on time...and, now I have to live on around $50 for the next 2 weeks, and dem cupboards are gettin' bare. Yeah, I know, that's not funny(but I still have my "wits" about me )...and, thankfully, just this past weekend, a good friend gave me a "care package" of foods. We, my ex and I, are having a garage/moving sale this weekend...hopefully that will help some. And, coming up soon, next week matter of fact, is Be-All, the transgender convention in Chicago, where I won a scholarship(thank goodness!), and of course that will help out a LOT, not to mention some special girlfriends who are helping me with hotel expenses--sounds very much like my SCC experience last year! But I'll still need gas and some meal monies...I really want to go, but of course, it's not a priority. One more thing--my gender therapy. I had 2 sessions, last August, and September, but since then, I've been unable to afford to go again(my deductable is $1000--employee based health ins., and I can't change that amt.), and at $150 per session, I just haven't been able to afford to go anymore since then(still paying on that bill matter of fact)....and, as you all no doubt know, therapy is a very important part of transitioning, and it's been very frustrating that I haven't been able to continue with it, and then begin hormone therapy eventually, and so on.... So, anyway....I am very sorry this is rambling on like this, and that I'm "whining" about all my troubles---I am sure that many of you are probably going through similar trials now, if not worse. I just thought that maybe if a few of you could help out, if only a little--and, believe me, any amount would be helpful.
Let me show you a very special letter, written to me last year, after I posted my "Yahoo 360 "Help" message", by a very very special friend, of whom without her help with another "task"(getting down to Atlanta and back), I'd never been able to have gone to SCC last fall.(she's SO much better at communicating what I am asking, than I am, as you will see. She would like to remain anonymous btw.) This letter has been edited some, since a few things have changed since she sent it to me last September:
Community Support – Please read and pass along.
Each day I am amazed at how large this community is, yet what a loose affiliation we are. Different in many ways, but yet a common theme that brings us together…as a group, imagine what we could accomplish together.
I’ve seen so much compassion and giving by many on an emotional level, that I’m wondering if we could do a little of the same on the financial side? Bear with me just a little longer please.
A few extra dollars individually may not mean much, but if we could harness the numbers, it could mean so much to members of this community.
Proposal - I would like for each of us to sacrifice a little. Maybe the dollars spent on coffee and bagel one day, a meal out, or a new skirt (ouch)…put it in an envelope and mail it to the following sister; either anonymous or with a note of encouragement and support.
Kelli Elam
P.O. Box 32
Greenville, IL 62246
PayPal: kellinicole127@yahoo.com
The Story: Kelli, and more importantly her wife have had a really rough year. Kelli’s wife has been fighting cancer these last few months, which has left them with without her income and an incredible amount of medical and personal expenses to cover. During this time Kelli has cared for her spouse, which prevents her from seeking a second job to address the shortfall in income. The prognosis is good, but they continue to fall further in debt.
I feel this couple could use some help, and ask that you consider helping if you can. I am not here to save the world, but I would like to help where I can. Am I naïve? No, I just want to be.
The Responsibility : This lies with Kelli. Here are a few things she must do.
1. Use our help only for things that allow her and her wife to get back on their feet again.
2. Pay it forward. She would need to solicit the next person in our community for support, and begin the process by telling her story. Kelli would be current recipient, and she would then help the next person.
3. This is a grass roots start, and Kelli would need to find a better way to get the message out. Maybe a flickr group, or a web page that she could administer, along with future people yet to be named.
4. Maybe a name for this group, or community support fund.
5. If Kelli receives more than she needs (can you imagine that) she will use this as seed money to support the next in line…just paying it forward.
The Community: The community must have faith and help with a few things.
1. Do not assume that $5, $10, or $20 is too little to make the difference. This thought often prevents people from giving at all. This amount or even $2 is quite a lot, considering the numbers we have. A little from many, can be quite powerful. Reference Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
2. Get the word out. You all have friends, and friends of friends that could help. Please forward this to others in our community.
3. If you know of someone who needs our help, please message Kelli, as she has the awesome responsibility of choosing the next person who could use some help.
Notes: Safety first. This message would potentially be viewed by those outside our community, who may not share our kindness. I recommend the candidates selected set-up a post office box for mail, and that we send either cash or a check made payable to cash to prevent names and addresses from being published. Maybe there are other ways to transfer a gift without names on either end?
This Is Not A Hand-Out…It’s Our Community Helping…Our Community. What’s in it for you? You mean beyond a smile and warmth in your heart? Send something to Kelli today and let’s see what we can do together.
Isn't she wonderful? A few addendum's to her proposal: Under The Responsibility: Of course, since we are now divorced, these potential funds wouldn't be directed towards "us", as it's just "me" now, though we do share in the mortgage expenses. And, I haven't set up any special web site, or a name for this support fund, but I'm sure I can do those things if need be. And, under Notes, as of right now, I've just set up the PO Box address, included within her proposal above(I'll type it again at the end), and now I have a PayPal account. And, since my legal name is still my male name, Kirby Elam, I wasn't sure, if I do receive checks, if it should be made out to "Kirby" or "Kelli"? Or, "Cash", as she suggested? And, I wouldn't recommend sending actual cash, but I guess small amounts wouldn't be a problem.
So, I have finally decided to go through with this, and as they say, "let the chips fall where they may", though, I'm still a bit hesitant. And, please believe me when I tell you that I will still care, and always will care for each and every one of you, no matter if you can help, or not, because I know you love me, as I love you all too. Someday, I hope the(pardon the pun) "coin" will turn, and I will be able to help others in need. I'm not desperate here, I'm just in a rough patch. So anyway, thank you all for reading this, and of course, thank you to those who can help. I will pay it forward as soon as I can. Thank you so very much.
Address:
Kelli Elam
P.O. Box 32
Greenville, IL 62246
PayPal: Please use kellinicole127@yahoo.com
With Love,
Kelli Nicole
[Comment on this post]
Hollywood, FL is our new home
Jon June 19th, 2009 9:58 am MDTVicky and I finally closed on a Townhome in Hollywood, FL on Tuesday, 6/16. For those of you who don't know where Hollywood, FL is, it's about 30 minutes north of Miami and 15 minutes south of Ft. Lauderdale, a nice central location.
We are going to have some work done on the place over then next few weeks and plan on being there permanently when the work is finished... hopefully the 1st or 2nd week of July.
We'll be walking distance from our favorite bar, Trixie's, the only full time TBar in Southern Florida. It just re-opened after being closed for almost 3 months following the death of the previous owner, Stanley. You can expect to find us there most Saturday nights.
Finally, we'll have plenty of space in our own place and can settle in and make Southern Florida our new home.
[4 comments]
Sabrinas Shoe Fetish
Sabrina Blaze ^*^ May 28th, 2009 7:49 pm MDT^,,^
buisy buisy buisy makin time fur modelling yummny shiny elegant new rubber fetish couture , latex veils , mix match sheer stockings w. rubber nurse & mother superior kinky nurse uniforms in gassmasken germanic fetish style ..... new box's fulls of hi heels n rubber outfits have arrived thanks to a lovely loyal generouss supporter , and these styles of lusciouss couture definitely need as much love n much attention as the hi heeled tight lac'd fetischlifestyle allows
xx Mystress Sabrina BlazE
[Comment on this post]
Vena interviewed by Cult Sirens
Vena May 22nd, 2009 12:15 am MDTVena feature interview at Cult Sirens: http://fetish.cultsirens.com/vena
[Comment on this post]
Video: Watch Vena talk about Exotica Detroit
Vena May 2nd, 2009 12:58 am MDThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlOGt5jbgHY
[Comment on this post]
Video: Vena's Evil Dolls on stage at Skin Two Exotica Detroit
Vena May 2nd, 2009 12:45 am MDTVena's Evil Dolls: Vena, Noir Halo, Snow Mercy, Xochitl, Rachel Ravage
Music by: Calpernia Addams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjBV9l6-p9g
[Comment on this post]
Vena in the press
Vena May 2nd, 2009 12:37 am MDT[Comment on this post]
Skin Two Exotica
Vena May 2nd, 2009 12:11 am MDT[Comment on this post]
Vena's Evil Dolls
Vena May 1st, 2009 11:45 pm MDTThe Hottest Girls, the sexiest performers..... Brains and Beauty:
http://venasevildolls.blogspot.com
[Comment on this post]
A pox on our house!
Nicole Asahi April 27th, 2009 5:08 pm MDTA picture is worth a thousand Web pages:
http://www.slate.com/id/2216238/
Sigh! Who knew Mad Cowboy disease could be so devastating!
[Comment on this post]
Little My Maid
Sakura The Cutie March 5th, 2009 10:35 pm MSTHey everyone, so today I played this computer game called Little My Maid, its a japanese PC hentai game. If you don't know what hentai is, its japanese anime cartoon porn. I'm not into the whole hentai stuff but this game actually got me pretty turned on. Well anyways, you play this boy who is on vacation and sees this girl getting raped by 3 guys. You get to choose between saving her or doing nothing (I saved her ^_^) anyways you find out that she is a maid for this mansion. She takes you to the mansion and you find out that is ran all by these beautiful women. There is 4 maids and the owner of the mansion. Well the point of the game is mostly to read through the storyline which many parts you get to choose what happens next. Since this is a hentai game there are many scenes where you have sex with one of the maids or even the owner. I really liked the owner so I had sex with her the most. I really enjoyed the games, many parts of the game really turned me on. If anyone is interested in trying this game, I can tell you how to get it ^_^.
XXXSakuraXXX
[1 comment]
First Event 2009: Karen Reeve's Thoughts
Karen Reeves February 2nd, 2009 8:57 pm MSTFirst Event 2009:Some Thoughts
Peabody, Massachusetts (15 January-18 January 2009)
First, check out my new album "First Event 2009" which I just posted.
Better late than never, here is my report on First Event 2009 (though after reading this report you may not agree!).
My friend Jackie and I arrived late on Thursday evening at the hotel. Let me tell you it was C-O-L-D! at he door Denise Armel greeted us with a bear hug. Because we were so tired and had worked that day we went to our room, unpacked, and ordered food to be brought in.
On Friday we were up fairly early (9:30 A.M.) I LOVE the Marriott Hotels so we ordered room service for breakfast. The food was exquisite. We attended a couple of seminars and visited with some friends afterwards.
In the evening our intrepid sorority (Sorority Sisters of New England) went out dining in Boston. Tiffany Starr drove one vehicle and I drove my car since it has a kick ass heater. It was 5 degrees out.
Arriving at the No Name Restaurant in our group was Brenda Sue, Tiffany, Jennifer Lane, Jean W. Jackie T., and myself. The crowd inside was light due to the F-R-I-G-I-D weather outside (for me from Maine it was balmy!).
The waiters and waitresses were thrilled to see us all again and remembered when we visited before. I’m not sure if that is good but they did not throw us out so I guess we were acceptable.
The staff was so friendly and nice. We all filled up on delicious seafood dinners (I LOVE SEAFOOD!). After the round of drinks no one felt the cold too.
We met the radio personality Morgan White Jr. (The Man From T.R.V.I.A.) who has a show on WBZ-AM Radio. I think I made his day when I told him that I LOVE to WATCH RADIO! He just shook his head. He is a really nice guy BTW.
Later on we went back to the hotel and visited down in the lobby restaurant/bar. As usual at these events it was hopping!
On Saturday we got up late (10:00 A.M.) and got ready for the day’s festivities. We attended some seminars and met a lot of people that you do not get to see too often during the year (the grind of daily life sort of thing you know).
Jackie actually got a new presenter to come to First Event for the first time (Kathy Perez of Exceptional Voice in Denver, Colorado). She is an awesome lady and KNOWS HER STUFF! She is a board-certified speech pathologist. As one who is an expert in this field (If you do not know why then you do not know me very well!) if you want to feminize your voice or have any vocal issues then you need to go to a professional.
Saturday evening was the Awards Banquet. If you are not a member of the host organization (Tiffany Club of New England) then the awards are about as exciting as watching paint dry on a wall. They host this convention so this is their prerogative.
The dinner was quite tasty. Jean W., Jennifer Lane, Brenda Sue, and Jackie were also in attendance. Unlike last year there was no dancing in the spacious dining room but rather in the exceedingly cramped bar/restaurant. Most of the girls would rather go drink than dance. My observation on this is that is a more of a male pattern than a female pattern. Girls like to dance, guys do not! (Here come the complaints now!).
We danced the night away and then adjourned to the infamous Dr. Z upstairs party. In attendance was the Royal Couple (the plastic dolls). It’s weird how a naked plastic doll just evokes such interest.
In the late evening it was snowing heavily. When Jackie and I got down to the lobby at 10:00 A.M. most participants had bailed. We ate the "Brunch" (Hey! BRUNCH is BR for BREAKFAST and UNCH for LUNCH. Why was there only breakfast food available?) For the price this is a real rip off. I would suggest that if you attend this event in the future that you simply have room service or order in the restaurant.
Jackie and I decided to stay another day and avoid the hassles of the snow. We sat down in the lobby watching the beautifully fallen, flaky snow come cascading down. While chatting with Jamie Dailey and some other girls a big brute of a guy lumbered over and in a hushed voice told us he was coming to First Event. He said he could not get their earlier since he was ill. I have my thoughts on this "illness" but will remain quiet. He left after a couple of hours after we gave him some requested info.
I realized that at 4 P.M. I was still wearing my nametag. I am sure I was the LAST participant to be wearing one for this year!
That evening Jackie and I had a lovely dinner in the restaurant. The hotel was deserted. It was so nice and the staff even came over to visit with us. Later we watched a movie.
On Monday the weather was nice. When I checked out it was amazing to see that the hotel staff had actually shoveled out, and cleared the snow off of my car. Talk about service!
I left for home well satisfied with my "First Event 2009" experience. It has been an EXTREMELY long time since I have been out like this and it was very nice.
Is Karen back on form? Stay tuned!
*Kisses*
~Karen~
[3 comments]
SCC(2nd part)
Kelli Nicole Elam January 21st, 2009 8:44 pm MSTSunday, October 5
Awwww…..it’s now Sunday…the last day at SCC. Sadly, time to say goodbye…and yes, that was a difficult thing to do, just as I had read about in friends’ blog from previous SCC events. And yes, I did cry, in private…though, while packing when Tracy was in the room packing also, the tears appeared…but we gave each other a good long hug and that helped. Tracy, thank you for allowing me to share your room! Friends forever, girlfriend!! ((HUGS)) So, being the last day, of course meant: “Travel Day”! Which, for me at least, meant traveling as Kelli…and, after my successful trip to Atlanta, and with the past 5 days’ worth of accumulated experiences as Kelli—OMG it was JUST so WONDERFUL to JUST BE ME!!---I felt very confident that the return trip would be just as successful. But first: Packing! Or, should I say “stuffing”….and, then, I couldn’t get the big bag zipper to close! But, eventually, superior strength and determination won out. Tracy and I then went down for breakfast. What a sweet girl Tracy is…and no, not just because she bought my breakfast. For letting me stay with her, that’s an obvious one…but also, most importantly, for “being there”, and sharing her life with me during this MOST AMAZING of times in my life! And, as this was Tracy’s first time at SCC, I would suspect she shared similar feelings towards me. After breakfast we went back upstairs to finish packing. But then I remembered that there was some kind of “wrap up” meeting, and I’d thought it was open to any attendee…looking at my handy-dandy SCC booklet, and yes, it was! I thought this would be a nice way to end my time here, so down to the meeting I went. Tracy was still packing, and she had to leave for the airport around noonish, so she didn’t come with, but I was sure we’d be able to say goodbye after the meeting. Well, as it turned out, I missed her…sigh. But, that’s ok, we had a good talk before breakfast, and during breakfast too, so the bond of friendship is there. (and we chatted the next day on YIM, so it’s all cool) Ok, so I arrive at the meeting late…and, I notice my friend Leslie sitting behind the main tables, waving me in….yay, someone familiar and friendly(not that I found anyone who wasn’t friendly my whole time there…well, there were a few girls who, I don’t think it wasn’t being “friendly”, I just think they were nervous—perfectly understandable…and, after I would tell them that this was my first SCC, that seemed to help them relax, at least with me…). Everyone was introducing themselves, and telling what they enjoyed(and sometimes, disliked) about their time at SCC, and some offered suggestions to possibly make next years event an even better one. I noticed a few girls I was familiar with—Allyson, Leslie of course, Sandy Dunkle, a few others. Eventually, it was my turn to “Say Hello”, and, although I’m not an accomplished speaker(especially in front of a group) or anything, I think I did OK…I just thanked SCC for the opportunity, and of course, for the scholarship(and, not long after the meeting was over, Blake Alford, SCC’s scholarship director, came over with his business card, and a warm hug, personifying exactly what it was like to be there: Friendship, Harmony and Love—Celebrating LIFE!)…and also, thanking my friends—4 girls in particular: My “anonymous plane ticket benefactor”, and my roomies, Bridgett and Tracy, and also Chloe Prince, who, over those 5 days, became someone truly special in my life…truly, a “Sister” for life ( HUGS, Sweetie!!)…and, of course, I thanked my wife. I thought of her often during my time in Atlanta. Without her being in my life…where would I be today?? Not long after my “speech”, in walked the one and only Chloe! As the introductions were still going, I went over to talk(ok, whisper) to her…knowing we’d both be leaving Atlanta soon, so it was time to say “so long”…but not before one last hug(oh ok, 3), and also, more words of advice, and encouragement from her. I think she was almost as proud of my accomplishments here, and traveling, as I was! “Big Sister/Little Sister” indeed.
My flight didn’t leave until 4pm, so I had some time to get my bags, check out, and mingle some. (It was interesting that morning, in seeing some girls now in drab…and, for some, I REALLY had to think…”Is that…??” Wow!) For some reason, I forgot about lunch. (Yeah right, Kells ) I had some nice conversations in the lobby. But, I was also trying to figure out how I was going to pay for my big bag, because I knew it was going to be overweight, and they would tack on a $50 charge…and, I had around $35 on me…what to do, what to do. I did ask a couple of girls if they could help, but they couldn’t—either almost out of money themselves, or needing what they had to get home…all perfectly understandable. So it came time to leave the hotel. Sigh. As I was waiting for the shuttle to take to the nearby MARTA station, I met 2 lovely and sweet girls, Kelly and Jia. Kelly was there as a representative of Dr. Pierre Brassard, the well-known GRS surgeon from Montreal, and actually she said she did the seminar for him, since he couldn’t make it this year. She was very sweet, and gave me one of Dr. Brassard’s dvds. I also struck up a conversation with Jia, who I later learned was also from Illinois! We sat together on the train, and I had the most pleasant time with Jia…someone I would definitely like to stay in contact with. And, she helped me keep my mind off of feeling sad, leaving SCC and Atlanta. Thank you Jia!!
Ok, so this is where things get a bit “interesting”…not that my whole time up to this point wasn’t interesting…FAAAARRRR from it! But, this time, flying back home…and, I totally realized it after I got home and thought about this day…was a tremendous morale and confidence booster, and I was actually(a very rare thing for me) very proud of myself! Arriving at the ticket counter, with Jia, I placed my checked(not officially yet though) bag on their(Delta) weight scale thingy—“Ding Ding—68 lbs.!!”(silly thing, it shouldn’t say that outloud!! ) Which, meant it was now 18 lbs. overweight(I think I lost 18 lbs. while in Atlanta, hehe), and, now they needed $50 for the overweight charge…well, I only had $36(Oh, come on now, Delta, can’t you see WHY this bag is so huge?! SCC! Heloooo!!). And, Jia was about out of money herself…so, she suggested to find another bag and maybe they’d allow 2 carry-ons….but, after searching a bit at a nearby store, we couldn’t find any…and, then, out of the blue, 2 more fellow SCC’ers happened to walk by. Maybe they saw concern in my face(I really didn’t want to throw things away at this point to get under the weight limit, and besides, I’m in the busiest airport in the world, and I really don’t want to open my suitcase and rummage through….), and the girl(sigh…I still can’t remember her name…and, though her friend gave me his business card, and I wrote to him last week, thanking him(and his friend) for helping me, and asking what his friend’s name is…I haven’t heard back from him yet…so, for now, it’s just “the girl who helped me”. ) suggested we go to a nearby U.S. Postal store and stuff a couple of boxes…great idea—just as long as it costs less than $36, cause that’s all I had. Well, as it turned out, I didn’t need to worry about that part, since she said she’d take care of it…and, that’s another reason I need to contact her, I gotta pay her back! So(and by this time Jia had to catch her plane—thank you SO much for helping me, Jia!!) we went into the postal store, hurriedly made a couple of boxes, stuffed them full of shoes, books and a few clothes, taped them up(and actually, she did most of the work)…and, just as she was taping up the boxes, I looked at the clock—Ooooh, it’s 3:30!! My plane takes off at 3:55! OOOOPS!! She said “GO GO, I’ll take care of this….”, and I thanked her, then off I scooted to the ticket counter. Yay, the bag now weighed 49 lbs(we had weighed it in the postal store)--whew! Boo, I was too late…the bag wouldn’t make it in time.
So…..now, what to do? Well, now I had to go around to the other side to a different set of ticket agents, and, after waiting in line about 15 minutes(ya, I was starting to get tired), I tried to book a seat on a new flight, or actually, change flights, since it was already paid for….well, for one, there were no seats available on the 3 flights to St. Louis that day, and, yes, they charge $50 to change tickets…BIG double sigh. They said check back every half hour or so. Ok…sure….what other choice did I have? Well, first of all, I still needed $14 to pay for the $50 charge…so, without a debit card or any other source of money available… OH wait! I have my wits about me still! And, I’m Kelli, which means…well, let’s just say, people are more willing, I believe, to help women in need(I’m somewhat guessing there)—you know, a “damsel in distress”. Anyway, I went back to the central atrium area, and sat for awhile…but right before I sat down, I quickly scanned the area, hoping to find someone(s) who, maybe, just maybe might possibly be sympathetic, and possibly give me enough money(all I needed was $14!) to change the ticket. Yeah, I know, this sounds desperate, and, well, I was getting desperate, but I didn’t want to sound or look desperate… I noticed 2 women, probably around my age, and I thought, “Well, I gotta try something…” So, after a few minutes(after first saying hello), I began to introduce myself and then explain my situation. Well, within seconds(not kidding), the 2 women(2 more angels this day!) gave me $14. Of course, I wanted get their names to pay them back…but, they said not to worry. So, I thanked them, and hugged them too, and went back to the counter. Still no luck, all booked. I went back again to sit for awhile—same spot, and waited for awhile, and talked to those 2 nice women for a bit again. (Now I SO wish I could have received an e-mail address or something from them…but, oh well.) Then I went back again to the counter, and to a different agent. Still the same answer: No seats available. But, this person, a sweet lady, kept trying…and, after a few minutes, she said she found a seat! Yay!! As she was typing up the ticket info, I was mentioning to her my situation, that I only had $50 to get home, plus I mentioned the parking situation(needing another $60 or so…) back in St. Louis….and, I guess, she felt sorry for me, because she then said, “Forget about the fee, just go catch your flight, don’t worry about it.” Can you believe it?? I still can’t…but, it actually happened, and now, I had $50! But I still needed that, and a bit more, to pay for the parking in STL. But I was HUNGRY too, and, being that my new flight wasn’t for another 3 hours, and knowing there wouldn’t be much offered (cookies or peanuts—btw, I thought peanuts were banned on flights now, because of the allergens…guess not!) on that flight, I broke down and bought some fries at Wendy’s, and a drink. Now I could at least relax a bit, get some “nourishment”, and then think about what to do next(the parking situation). (Sorry this is so detailed, and no doubt tedious…but, it’s all a part of my first time out, at least traveling-wise, as Kelli, and really, I feel that I wouldn’t have been as successful in receiving help that day, if I were traveling as youknowwho…as you will see, again, on my flight home.)
Now, it was time to head to and through security. Ooops, I forgot my 3 oz. baggie! Thank goodness they had free ones near the checkpoint. Security, of course, was one place I was concerned about, at least somewhat, since I still have that “M” on my ID(drivers license)…but, coming down to ATL wasn’t a problem at all…and, this time turned out the same way! (I do wonder though, what each specific agent was thinking….) So, I gathered my stuff, put my sandals back on, and away I went to my designated concourse. SHEEESH Hartsfield/Jackson is HUGE!! They do have a cool tram to each concourse, but I decided to walk(helps to have those long moving sidewalks). I arrive at my gate about 3 hours prior to liftoff(OH, I would love to be the first transgender space tourist!! “All” I need is 20 million smackerooooos! Hmmm…maybe if I find just a few more “angels”….). Wasn’t much to do to pass that time away….I didn’t want to eat any more, since now I was down to around $46….there was a game on tv, but it was the Cowboys(boring!)….I could add to my journal, or do some reading, or call/text people on my phone….I decided to do the latter, while people watching(and, watching if people were watching me, hehe ). Yes, I called Jeannie. She was doing ok she said, and just about to receive another meal brought in from her church, and of course, I told her I would be a lil late. After awhile, I needed to use the facilities…yes, for “normal” reasons, but also because I hadn’t shaved my face since around 10am, and even though my beard doesn’t grow all that fast, I just felt like I needed it done. So, finding a stall, I scootched my carry-on in, and then proceeded to sit down and…shave too. (Try and picture that scene. ) I didn’t stop on the way out to wash my hands(that’s what Wet Ones are for!) and check my face—I’m still a bit concerned around “gg’s”, especially in that type of situation…in time, I’ll get better…plus, there were pre-teen girls in there, and they might say something to their mother’s, etc…. I sat back at the waiting area, as another hour passed…and then got in line for my seat assignment---yes, one more concern, since my boarding pass said “seat unassigned”, I guess since this was an exchanged ticket…so, even though I had the ticket… But, everything was fine, my seat was 37B…ok, that’s fine, I guess. It turned out to be 2nd to last row….ok no problem…but, when I got back there, and tried to place my carry-on in the bin above—it wouldn’t fit. Panic!! Well, ok, I didn’t panic, but I quickly thought, “if I have to check this bag….(you know, the $50 charge for an extra checked bag, and I didn’t have that much cash…)….” (Btw, remind me never to travel again without enough money! ) But, once again, another angel came to my rescue, as a flight attendant eventually, after a few tries, found a spot for it “mid-ship”. Whew!! I then sat for a few minutes in the last row, just to rest a bit, and also to think about this: I noticed my assigned seat was between to men…and, although I had been fine traveling as Kelli so far, I hadn’t run into this type of situation yet—sitting between to men, as a girl, and my first time…. So, eventually the folks where I was sitting arrived, so I had to get to my seat. This is where it gets interesting…again. >wink<
Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever wonder, when things do go well, why it happens? I do. Maybe because life this past year or so hasn’t been all that great. My wife has cancer—although we hope now it is “had” cancer. And, concerns about paying the medical bills…along with the property taxes. We dealt through a bankruptcy. The “daily dealings” (what that does to my wife and her feelings, I mean…but, also just with simple things like, going grocery shopping, buying gas, etc., and wondering if I will get “those looks”, or something else—though I guess it does “help” some that I’m more in an androgynous stage vs. fully looking feminine, especially living here, in Podunkville, where most people know me….) of me, as I inch along with my transitioning. And along with that, our plans to split-up and divorce eventually. And, coming out to various people. A LOT on both of our plates. So, when good things happen, it’s kinda shocking. And, I must say, almost everything good happened to me on this trip---and, it’s a good thing, because I NEEDED everything to go well, just to make it home! So, now I’m sitting between 2 men---hopefully gentlemen! The man on my right never said a word to me the whole time in the plane(around 90 minutes). But, thankfully, the man on my left, in the window seat, was just the opposite of that. I believe the word “gregarious” fits him perfectly—in every positive sense of that word…in other words, he talked to the folks in front of us, the folks behind us, the flight attendants…but, most importantly, he was friendly and nice to me. “Hi, I’m Terry….” “Hi, I’m Kelli….” Eventually I began talking about my wife, and her recent troubled times with her illness. And, I’m sure he heard the “my wife” part, I had said that several times over the course of around, oh, the first 45 minutes of our conversation(we weren’t constantly talking the whole time…but, when we weren’t, I was wondering what he was thinking…and, also wondering if he was glancing at my chest…well, hey, I had never sat this close, for this long, to a man before, dressed as Kelli…). But, he never seemed changed expression or give any hint of curiosity. Eventually he related why he was on the flight—he was heading to Nigeria to visit an online girlfriend…I kid you not!(And, I thought I was “crazy”, driving 300 miles to go meet Jeannie when we began dating, after meeting online ) But, he forgot his visa...so, he had to return home to the St. Louis area. I felt for the guy…and, I hope that they can someday get together. Not long after that, he asked me what brought me to Atlanta. And, I really didn’t hesitate at all. I’m just SO tired of hiding who I am, having to be careful, etc. I will keep doing that, for Jeannie’s sake, and for mine too, if I believe my safety might be of concern. But he seemed the sort who wouldn’t mind…and yes, I was taking a chance, especially since I still planned to ask him for help with my parking situation. “I was in Atlanta for a convention of transgender people…yes, I am transgendered.” He then said that he had no problem with that, and everyone has to live their lives as they see fit…. I was SO relieved! He then said he was curious after hearing me say “my wife”….but he was cool about it. So, not long after that, and feeling more confident TO ask for help, I explained my parking situation, and that I needed around $20. Out of the kindness of his heart, he gave me $40! SUCH a sigh of relief came over me! I’m breaking into tears now just thinking about it, as I did then. I said I would pay him back, and he said that’s fine, take your time, and gave me his business card. So, yes, once again, another angel entered my life that day. Several times, until we parted, he would say “young lady….” when speaking to me, or “this little lady….” when speaking to someone else… and I thought that was pretty cool too. He even pulled my carry-on to the luggage carousel. I thanked him again, and then we parted ways. So, yes, once again, another angel entered my life that day!
Well, the rest of the way, it was just catching the shuttle to the parking area, paying the attendant, and driving the 60 miles home—hoping that the car would make it without breaking down! It did…but I didn’t---not break down I mean. Maybe I’m exaggerating about this…being still so close since I was away, but I really think that this was…maybe with the exception of time when I knew I had fallen in love with Jeannie, and she felt the same for me….the best time of my life! And, as time will tell, possibly the most important week of my life. Definitely one of the proudest times! I really did this….I went to SCC! And, I traveled there and back as Kelli! And, I had no problems, with either situation…besides the low cash flow of course. But that’s the thing: I had to keep calm, cool and collected while trying to find a way home—as Kelli…and, although I had obviously not planned to have such a difficult time going home, I think I learned some valuable lessons along the way. (One, that it pays to be a girl sometimes---I’m serious, because I really believe if I were traveling as Kirby, I would not have been as successful with all the people I encountered that day who helped me get home. Maybe I’m wrong there, but I don’t think so, and besides, I don’t plan on traveling in male mode anymore anyway. ) The main lesson learned? Be confident in who you are! Leading up to going to SCC, that’s what my friends kept telling me—“Just be confident, Kelli, and that will help you in so many ways…..” And, it’s so true! Jeannie was in bed by the time I arrived home. Still awake though, and she was happy I was home safely. I wanted to let her get her rest, so I related my “travel travails” the next day. I know she can never be as proud of me as I felt about myself that day, and that’s ok, it’s perfectly understandable, but maybe, deep down, she thinks what I did was “OK”. For once in my life, I was proud of myself!! A good beginning to hopefully a good, and successful new life.
Where do I go from here? Well, for one, finish this blog! Hehe…sorry for the length(if anyone is still with me—Thank you Thank you!! ), but I had to express what happened during that most wonderful of times! Wow, it’s 2 weeks almost to the minute now since I left home…a time I know I will never ever forget. And, I must re-thank all of those angels who helped me experience this “New Beginning”. First, my wife—for all the obvious reasons. Secondly, “my friend who wishes to remain anonymous”(wasn’t that Prince’s name back in the 90’s? ), who purchased(let me use her miles, actually) the plane ticket. I obviously can’t post her link here, but maybe this "Friendship" will be a good representation of her, and our friendship. Next, Bridgett Sommers, my first roomie---and, what a lovely girl she is. Here’s just one sample . Love you, girl, thank you!! ((HUGS)) And next, Tracy Schapes, my Saturday roomie—one of the sweetest people I met in Atlanta(good thing, eh?? )! Love you too, girl! ((HUGS)) Chloe Prince , who probably doesn’t need an introduction, but she does have my love for a lifetime. Thank you, Sister!! ((HUGS)) And another friend, who couldn’t be there, is Samantha, a friend from California, who has been SUCH a good friend the past couple of months, with her always kind words of love and encouragement—and, clothes! Thank you SO much, sweetie(and your friend Sammi too!)!! ((HUGS)) And, Candice, whom I already knew from URNA, but I had wanted to meet for quite awhile, not only because of the obvious reasons, but also because she’s been such a sweetheart with her concern about my wife…as she has went through similar times recently with her wife. Love you so much, sweetie! ((HUGS)) Oh, and of course, the many other friends I met while at SCC! Oh gosh…Michelle, Deja, Gina, Debbie, Sandy, Cheryl, Leslie, Rachel, Danielle, Rebecca, Tara, Cami, Kim, Bonnie, Christianne, Ronnie, Keri, Mandi, Shawna, Allyson, Kelly, Jia, Lee & Friend(at the airport)….and, many many more!! Love you girls!! ((HUGS)) Oh, and yes, Larry, my friend from Canada—thank you, hon! Oh, and of course, everyone involved with SCC—the staff, the volunteers(I hope to be one next year!), and especially Blake Alford, for offering the scholarship! ((HUGS)) Oh, and the hotel and staff at the lovely Crowne Plaza-Ravinia! And, yes, I DO plan to stay at your fine establishment next year—and hopefully next time paying my own way. >wink< All those involved with the seminars…and specifically for me, Donna Rose, Jessica McKinnon and Jennifer Boylan…all amazing, all inspiring….just amazing. And thanks to everyone at the Vendor area(all SO friendly—sorry I couldn’t buy anything—next year!), and also the people at the Career Fair. Hopefully by next year I’ll be better able to use your services….unless I have new job/career going by then of course. Oh, and all who were so very accommodating over at the Perimeter Mall—at the restaurants(Yay, Hudson Grille and Goldfish!), at the stores(Yay, Charlotte Russe and Arden B.!). Oh, and of course, last but certainly not least—Delta Air! I think I have a new favorite airline. Oh, and I must thank all of those online girlfriends, who couldn’t be in Atlanta, but encouraged me to have a great time, and LIVE life as the girl in my heart. Love you girls!! And, one more thank you: To Jessica, my best friend: I know you wanted to be there with me, and with “the girls” (next year, girl!)…but believe in yourself, honey, and believe that things will get better…with your health, with your career, with your parents…and hey, with your love life too! Go for it, girlfriend!! Love you SO much! ((HUGS))
Well, now I’m a “veteran”, not only of the SCC experience, but of being out in the world as Kelli. Of course, I know that I have a LONG way to go before I am completely comfortable in the world as Kelli…and, the world comfortable with me too. But I am heading, finally, in the right direction. I am very excited, and, much more confident in myself, and really, in others too, especially those in the general population. I know I won’t always be as fortunate as I was, in my travels that week, but then again, the confidence I did gain will be invaluable, as I continue along my journey. I must admit here, that I was humbled, very much, by the amazingly gorgeous, sophisticated and intelligent(and fun-loving!) girls I met while at SCC. Now, yes, I know, this isn’t some type of contest(though maybe it is for some, and that’s ok) to “be the best girl at the party”…and, that certainly wasn’t why I wanted to attend this event. And, this is just me talking, but given my history of low self-confidence(for many reasons), I did sometimes feel I wasn’t quite "there" yet, that I wasn’t quite “cool enough”…and yes, being with that many girls all in one place at one time, at times was a bit intimidating…but, those moments didn’t last long, as I truly did feel my confidence growing, the longer I was there. But, I did learn many valuable lessons while there—most important though, truly, are the friendships made, and the love shared. YOU are the main reason I had the wonderful time I did have while at “Celebrate Life—2008!” Thank you Girls!! Thank you SCC!! What a perfect way to begin celebrating my new life!
[Comment on this post]
Best gift ever!
Sakura The Cutie January 17th, 2009 10:56 pm MSTHey girls! Hows everyone doing? So anyways like a couple of weeks ago my gf was going to throw out a old shirt that was a little worn out on one side, and OMG its such a cute shirt, but anyways lol, I told her to not throw it out and she asked if I want it since like I give her my shirts sometimes. She asked me if I was going to wear it cuz she thought it was weird that I wanted it in the first place (oh yea, if you dont know, my gf doesn't know that I dress) and I just told her that I wanted it for like a memory thing so when Im not was her, I have something of hers. So anyways today she gave me it, and when I got home I tried it on. Its a little tight but I like it. Its a black shirt and the shoulders are a see-through pattern. Its really cute. Hopefully the next time I dress I can take some pics and let everyone see it. ^_^
[Comment on this post]
Boston LGBT Latina History: Vicky
Jon January 15th, 2009 2:53 pm MSTVicky's modest so I'll go ahead and post this. The History Project http://www.historyproject.org tracks important events in LGBT History. They also have a section for important events in LGBT Latino/a History and Vicky gets several mentions...
1980: The Paradise gay bar in Cambridge initiates Boston's first Latino Night with popular disc jockey, Conrado Cardenas. The event soon moves to Chaps (*Note from Jon: it moved to Chaps in 1990) and is greatly amplified by empresario Alvaro Ortiz, discover and promoter of Vicky. Latino night becomes a significant AIDS education vehicle for latino gay men.
1994: World’s First Lesbian and Gay Latino Theater series, Spic Out: Latino Lesbian and Gay Theater, produced by Abe Rybeck and the Theater Offensive, brings a new queer Latino performance scene to Boston. Plays and performances written by Beto Araiza, Carmelita Tropicana, Enrique Oliver, Senel Paz, Marga Gomez, Paul Bonin-Rodriguez are featured. *Note from Jon: Enrique Oliver's Play was Castro's Child, in which Vicky played the Alter Ego of a Cuban Exile living in Boston.
1996: WGBH's La Plaza presents Boston, Wednesday night… The Night That I Met Vicky. Wednesday nights are when Boston’s Latino gay and lesbian community comes together at a disco known as Chaps. This show interviews Vicky and others about Latino night at Chaps.
1998: Vicky, Boston’s most recognized Latino drag performer produces the first Miss Gay Latina Bombshell contest. It is held at the Jorgé Hernandez Community Center at Villa Victoria in the South End, making it the first Latino gay sponsored event at the Center. Contestants include Boston's Avian Waters, Coco Lopez, and Amanda.
1998: Vicky sponsors a party at Buddies that coincides with the 100th anniversary of the invasion of Puerto Rico by the US on August 25, 1898.
For the full Latino/a History Timeline: http://historyproject.org/resources/latino_timeline.php
[Comment on this post]
New Photos Coming
Kimberly S Virtue January 6th, 2009 6:30 am MSTI had a formal makeover and photo session on Sunday, January 4th. Later this week I should have some new photos, my first big group of new photos since last May. They will include some casual "bare leg" looks with denim and flip flops, as well as some more dressed up office lady looks. Some of the photos will show off the pedicure I had (vivid pink nail polish). Also, my hair is in a longer style now, well below my shoulders. Kim :-)
P.S. My photos have started arriving in my email, and I posted two of them on my profile here so far [a/o January 10th]. You can see more of them on my photostream at flickr.com/kimberlyvirtue.
[Comment on this post]
URNA DETECTIVES NEWS FLASH! DAN, JON & THE CASE OF THE MISSING JOURNAL ENTRIES!
Karen Reeves December 27th, 2008 8:54 pm MSTHi Everyone!
It appears that the case of the missing journal entry postings has been SOLVED!
I can see from my own list of the number of journal entries posted on my site that last June 4th was a busy day. I know I have posted quite a few journal entries over the years but not 53 of them!!! I can talk and write alot but . . . . .
Trying to repair the site the guys posted over 30 test entries on my site in just a few hours! When the site recently got repaired these disappearing journal entries suddenly reappeared. I just noticied this and have spent time deleting the test items.
I would suggest that everyone go delete repetative journal/test items to cut down on the clutter.
Thanks Dan & Jon for the great work in making Urnotalone such an awesome place!!! You have proved yourselves again!
*Smiles*
~Karen~
[Comment on this post]