I would like to send a Heart Felt Thank You to all the People I've met here.Even thou it is only via E-mail(Kellie,Janice Marie,Bobbie)and those I forgot to mention.
I will reach out to everyone even if is only to say "Hi".I'm shy by nature so it is somewhat of a challenge to approach people I don't know.
But I have to ask a question(rofl)I was just wondering,Do any of you Ladies ever answer those guys I see on comment sections leaving their phone numbers?I am just wondering,WTF is up with that?
Anyway,
Have a Wonderfull upcoming week(even if you are a yankees fan)
Yesterday, my gf thought it would be fun to paint my toe nails, and I just said ok. She used a purple color thats a little shiny. I feel so pretty now ^_^
It is hard to change someone's decision if you yourself have your doubts about something. You lack the enthusiasm to push your idea, you feel jaded and a little funny. I am sure that is how most of the "regulars", who quit going to Trixies have felt since the showbar re-opened a couple months ago. What can a TG bar offer to a bunch of girls who go out everywhere and don't mind the stares of disconcert from the mainstream? Nothing. Yep, that's right. We go to expensive restaurants and eat better than what the kitchen at Trixies offers. We can walk into mostly any bar and get a drink that is cheaper than what Trixies is charging. We don't need the hassle of the occasional admirer and we have seen the showgirls hundreds of times. Why would I then accept to help Jon and Vicki at the URNA get together this Saturday Oct. 3 then? Got into an argument with Glenn even. He said he wasn't going. I am sure most of the girls I hang out with, will probably be missing. But, I do not think this get together is destined to fail. Of course, all the guys will be there- that's the only place they will go, but if there are no girls, then their enthusiasm wanes. Definitely, there is no enthusiasm in the veteran ranks but I have noticed a stir among the part-time girls. Part- time girls do not go to Wilton Manors or South Beach- they rather remain anonymous and Trixies is the perfect spot for them. A couple of girls wrote to me and are delighted to know URNA is sponsoring a party this Saturday. I think back several years and I remember how I lived for the day when I could come out and use the term full time like a signature at the end of my name. There are more girls still in hiding and we live totally oblivious to this fact. Back then, the only place I would dare to go was Trixies. And I find this a very compelling argument to support the "only" TG bar in So Fla. The original owners Carlos and Stan made it a point to make every girl that walked in to feel welcome and comfortable. I told Sean (the new guy) that THAT was what made Trixies. Not the show, not the new lights or the new music system. A girl who rarely came out had the chance to feel the 'I am out' for a few hours, anonymously. I do not know if the new ownership will understand. But I am going to give Trixies a chance. Maybe I don't feel like I am supporting Sean as much as I am supporting girls who do not have their own voice in the matter. Jon and Vicki have supported us all these years, so yeah I will be there too :-) And if you are coming stop by and say hi, I don't bite :-P
You Girls are some of most honest people i've met.Let me explain:
And excuse some of my words as they are NOT part of my view merely making a point!
I grew up in a time when it was ok to Hate no matter who it was e.g. gay,black,jew,tg,ts you get the picture.
a friend of mine(who i didn't know was gay,i was only 12 and didnt figure it out until i was 30 or so) no kidding.anyway
Then a chance meeting not in person mind you,online.I was surfing the web and and came across a woman(pre-op)about 8 yrs ago,I wont use her name,But we chatted for hours and got to know each other pretty well.Then about 6months later she told me about her upcomming SRS and WOW i was floored,But the way we got along was .........Better than anybody i ever talked with she really undersstood and listened and didnt care about stereotypes.To this day I am thankful to have come in contact with your community and cherish some of the friendships i have come across,anyway
Hey everyone, so today I played this computer game called Little My Maid, its a japanese PC hentai game. If you don't know what hentai is, its japanese anime cartoon porn. I'm not into the whole hentai stuff but this game actually got me pretty turned on. Well anyways, you play this boy who is on vacation and sees this girl getting raped by 3 guys. You get to choose between saving her or doing nothing (I saved her ^_^) anyways you find out that she is a maid for this mansion. She takes you to the mansion and you find out that is ran all by these beautiful women. There is 4 maids and the owner of the mansion. Well the point of the game is mostly to read through the storyline which many parts you get to choose what happens next. Since this is a hentai game there are many scenes where you have sex with one of the maids or even the owner. I really liked the owner so I had sex with her the most. I really enjoyed the games, many parts of the game really turned me on. If anyone is interested in trying this game, I can tell you how to get it ^_^.
There is no sense in me trying to rewrite something that is this well said. This is from my good friend, ennifer - Love, Suzi
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide By Jennifer Nelson
What’s it like to walk on both sides of the gender spectrum sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman? This is the kind of question that gets asked by those who are naive yet curious. My answer, as a transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.” Though I have a male body, for as long as I can remember, I have thought of myself as female. I hide it well, even though I don’t relate well to guys doing guy things. My heart aches to have a doll collection. When I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are; “how can I be more like her.” Men and women are truly different. In body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking across the gender spectrum, probably 99.9% of men are congruent with being men and 99.9% of women are congruent with being women. These men have absolutely no interest in putting on a dress and the women have no interest in being men. Their gender and sex are congruent.
This is at the heart of the misunderstanding the general public has about us as transgendered women. They have no comprehension of what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No pun intended.) They can't even imagine it. Many are even revulsed by the idea because it is so foreign to who they are. What woman would want to be a man? What man would want to be a woman? Yet here we are, women on the inside struggling to make the person we see in the mirror congruent with our inner selves. Being married and transgendered further complicates the situation. On the one hand our spouses have expectations of us as men and specifically as husbands. On the other hand we are transgendered. Denial, purges, prayer, nothing seems to change who we are inside.
I was once scolded by one of my wife’s friends who had heard that I sometimes wore women’s clothes. If she only knew. I had no interest in getting into a discussion with her but she did get me thinking about how could I ever explain my conundrum? How can this make sense to those who are congruent as males or females? Imagine, as a mind game, that a beautiful genetic woman is made to look like a man; short hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry, no earrings, takes testosterone, has no breasts, grows a beard or shaves every day wears male clothes lowers her voice and walks like a soldier. Next, she's told this is who she is for the rest of her life which means, among other things, that all her relationships will change. Other women will look upon her as a man; i.e., one of them, useful but not girl friend material. She will also now have to relate to men as one of them. Remember that through all of this, in her mind, she is still a woman. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time she puts on her clothed every time she comes in contact with another person, who she is and who she appears to be are in diametric opposition. This is truly a recipe for disaster. Welcome to being transgendered.
This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006: “I can't express how much I appreciated your artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize the woman smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman, young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and sophisticated looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for the rest of the day was real, I felt like I've never felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was the woman I had always dreamed I could be. Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw this same beautiful woman smiling back at me. Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my face to a totally new level. Your color palette is so different from what I've been using that I'm going to have to get the complete MAC kit before I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have so much to learn but the wonderful result you showed me gives me the encouragement to get started. Amanda, you've turned the clock back 30 years! I want to look spectacular.
“Last year I watched a reality program called the Swan, where a group of women who considered themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc., never seeing themselves in a mirror until the final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful women they had become. Watching the program I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I truly know how they felt because I too was that woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in various outfits, is a wonderful remembrance of the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful gown has always been a fantasy that has now been given life. Thinking back over the day and reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy. “The need for congruence as a woman is very strong.”
For the last several years I have been heavily involved in supporting Majestic Hearts of All Colorado. thsi is a pageant that exists for the rasing of money for various charities both inside and outside the GLBT community. My good friend Phyllis si the owner of the pageant and I have performed in many oftheir shows from the beginning of the pageants existance.In fact it is actualy due to the existence of the pageant that I first began performing.
For many years Phyllis had wanted me to have formal title but due to the rules and regulations of the pageant I did nto fall neatly into the guidlines. This past Saturday she bestowed upon me the titleof Honorary Ms.for life. I was very honored to be crowned and sashed as I have always enjoyed supporting the pageant and its work.
Hey girls! Hows everyone doing? So anyways like a couple of weeks ago my gf was going to throw out a old shirt that was a little worn out on one side, and OMG its such a cute shirt, but anyways lol, I told her to not throw it out and she asked if I want it since like I give her my shirts sometimes. She asked me if I was going to wear it cuz she thought it was weird that I wanted it in the first place (oh yea, if you dont know, my gf doesn't know that I dress) and I just told her that I wanted it for like a memory thing so when Im not was her, I have something of hers. So anyways today she gave me it, and when I got home I tried it on. Its a little tight but I like it. Its a black shirt and the shoulders are a see-through pattern. Its really cute. Hopefully the next time I dress I can take some pics and let everyone see it. ^_^
I was chattign on line with a friend last night and discussing where I am in my journey and the reasons for such.
In the way of a little background I am now 52 soon to be 53(May 5 too close whew!!) but then again age is only one more label we use to define ourselves. Around the age of 9 I had my first experience related to wht I at the ti me saw as cross dressing. I always saw it as that in my formative years but somehow the sinning of female attire was never about sexual gratifacation there was always something more it seemed to transport me to a more calm and serene feeling. Being raised a wasp this conflicted with not only my socialization but what I was taughta s a protestant. Of course by the time I reached puberty I was invovled in scouting and so many other male oriented activities that I was able to ignore or at least sublimate the other desires.
Through high school I would have been considered to be shy around girls. As I have matured and come to understand myself bettter I now realize what I at the time thought were crushes on several girls were not that at all. I now believe that I was atracted to their feminine beauty and strength because though physically I apeared to be male psychologically and spiritually I was struggling to gain my female awareness. What I was really desiring was that my shysical attributes would have allowed me to share true gender with other females and to experience and share those pubescent rituals with the girls. Through college I once again was able to sublimate my true self because my focus was on graduating andd starting a life.
Many times through my 20's and even into my early 40's I would return secrectly to the dressing to satisfythe innerneeds. Always it woudl be fine for a short period of timethen my religious and social upbringing would surface and I would feel deep guilt why am I this way boys don't have those desires besides its a sin just look in the bible. my major confusion was based on the misinformation that I was exposed to growing up the idea that boys that wanted to dress as girls were gay. Yet I k newin my own heart and mind that my sexual orientation was not gay so what was wrong with me if I wa snot gay why did I harbor this desire to dress female and even more why did I expereince such an overwhelming sense of calm and joy when I was dreswed female?
As I reeached my mid 40's the conflict reached a point where I could no longer ignore the needs. The major event in my life at this time that put on more a road of self discovery was my first pc and my first encounter with the internet. The first search parameters I ever typed into an engine were the terms cross dresser, transvestite and transsexual.this was such an ephipany for me becasue though logically I probably always comprehended that I was not the only one to see thousands uppon thousands of sites dealing withthe whole tg spectrum was proof positive that I was not alone. At this point in my journey I immediately accepted that I was a cross dresser and felt such a relief of burden becasue if I there were so manyothers aroudn the world not only was I not alone but maybe I wasn't so strange.
Through another girl I meant in a chat room I was guided to Trie Ess ( The Society for The Second Self):a national and international organzation that is a support group for cds an d their families> Upon reading the theory of the second self I came to the revalation that this made sense about who I was and where I fit. This was 8years ago and in the beginning of my self realization this was a comfortable place for me I could express myself in a group of like minded people. I was able to get out once a month as my inner female self. Somewhere in the middle of the second year of my tri ess association I realized that accepting myself as a cross dresser was just a step ina much larger journey. What led me tothis realization is one saturday night after returning home from the monthly meeting I had such a heavy sense of dread that Ihad to remove al the clothing and make up and go back to the male appearance. It was at this point that Iunderstood that identifying as a cd had been a comfortable place to start but it wasn't really me. It was that nightthat I began identifying myself as transsexual.
Though due to circumstances in my life at this time I still live the majority of my life as a male I now identify as a non op ts female. Many people I have spoken with feel that its wrong for me to identify this way because niether am I yet living even 50% of the time as female or on hrt (hormone replacement therapy). My answer to that is that I know in my inner beign that I am female and that point can not be argued. I also am told that becasue I have not revealed this to my immediate family I am not being true to myself. My answer to that is especially with my parents becasue of their age and the time they were brought up in its better not to ask them to deal with it. Also as htey are in their 80s and my mother isstricken with ms and my father is her care giver I think it would be quite selfish of me to make this an issue for them. As I gro tounderstand myself more I also have come to the conclusion that as much as we want others to accept that this is whowe truly are that it is hard to lay that expectation on them when it takes us so long to understand and accept ourselves.
I have found ways to cope. I have several very close ts girlfriends that constantly express thier love and support and provide encouragement. Theyhave helped me to understand that while many of us take this journey each of us is unique in that we each find the paththat owrks best for us.
My friend told me last night that she thought I was being strong and valiant by considering my parents needs over mine. Iam not sure if that is the case I just know that as my inner female traits grow and develope that in an indirect way while they still seee me as their son they are getting to nowtheir daughter.
Read the second article in the first newsletter and the second and third articles in newsletter that follows. I left the newsletters in so you had a better idea on where then came from - Suzi
ACCESS TO ENERGY A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter NOVEMBER 2007 (Vol. 35 no. 4), Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523 Copyright 2007 by Access to Energy Adaptation Empirical evidence supporting the hypothesis of biological "evolution" is meager at best This hypothesized phenomenon is experi-mentally unobservable and. therefore, not validated. Many of the outstanding scientists I have known - from atheists to Christians -quietly subscribe to some form of "intelligent design." "Quietly" is the operative word here because American academia has become increasingly uninhabitable for those who do not appear to conform to current politically correct trends.
"Adaptation." however, is easily observable and constantly in evidence. Each living species contains very great variation within its genes - biological variability between individuals of the same species. This allows species to adapt to changing'conditions.
A remarkable example of this is found in bacteria that require the essential amino acid tryptophan in their diets. If tryptophan is eliminated from their diet, the entire colony of bacteria quickly gains the ability to make it. If tryptophan is returned to the growth medium, then the bacteria colony loses the ability to make it.
Without dietary tryptophan or the ability to make tryptophan, the colony would die. If tryptophan is supplied, however, there is a competitive advantage in not using resources to make tryptophan. In each case, a few bacteria with the opposite talent remain in the colony. If their particular ability becomes advantageous, their progeny quickly dominate the colony.
Evolutionists like to describe such phenomena as micro-evolution - the colony evolving back and forth driven by survival of the fittest. Survival is driving this process, but it has nothing to do with evolution. Biological variation - or "diversity," to use a popular politically correct word - is present in all living species. This assures that the species survive under widely varied conditions. This diversity can take the form of individuals of different abilities or of biochemical systems that measure the environment and change individual biochemistry to adapt to conditions as needed
The United States Constitutional Republic was constructed in such a way as to take advantage of a similar phenomenon. With many separate semi-autonomous states, errors made by one state government were unlikely to be made simultaneously by the others. People and resources- flowed back- and forth between these largely independent states in accordance with the wisdom of their policies.
For example, if one state debased its currency and another maintained honest money, market competition would have soon ended the debasement. With, however, the vast growth of centralized power in Washington, this advantage has been substantially lost. An error in Washington affects the whole.
Still, the process of adaptation is nevertheless at work. Through excessive governmental taxation, regulation, and litigation, the United States has been rendered a poor environment for energy and manufacturing industries. So, these activities have flowed to other nations that have not been as unwise. In this way the community of nations - the political species - has gained survival capabilities through adaptive survival of the fittest. The human race has an abundance of energy and manufacturing even though it is increasingly no longer located in the United States. Survival of the fittest is therefore diminishing American prosperity and power.
Now, however, international elitists want to impose tyrannical control over the entire community of nations. The human-caused global warming propaganda drive is an effort to transfer power to tax and ration energy into an international body that will thereby control the energy and technology of all nations. Aside from its immoral and unethical aspects, this diminution of the independence of nation states contains great peril for the human race.
While Al Gore and retainers regale the public with fear of global warming, NASA scientist David Hathaway is predicting the opposite. John Casey, Director of the NASA Space Science Research Center, has confirmed that their research indicates an impending return to Earth temperatures as low or lower than prevailed during the Little Ice Age that occurred about 200 to 300 years ago. See http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10may_longrange.htm and also www.spaceandscience.net.
These NASA studies indicate that the solar cycle beginning between 2015 and 2020 may have unusually low activity - similar to that which contributed to the Little Ice Age. Accurate predictions of future weather are not yet possible. The actual temperature could rise or fall - no one knows this future.
If, however, a member of the current crop of political opportunists running for U. S. President is elected - rather than Ron Paul, the energy deficit in the United States will seriously worsen. All of these people have endorsed the human-caused global warming. United Nations agenda. So, if NASA is right, Americans are going to be very cold and miserable beginning about 10 years from now. While we could easily cool the Earth with the Penner-Teller procedures, we have no means with which to warm it.
Should the fears of misinformed and over-governed Americans be allowed to drag Asia and Africa into the same disaster? If energy production is unregulated - controlled by free enterprise or at least by separate nation states, then some of the world's people will not be energy poor if colder weather comes.
Without an immediate revival of the American hydrocarbon and nuclear energy industries - made possible by government withdrawal of the oppressive taxes, regulations, and litigation that currently prevent this, Americans will be very short of energy 10 years from now. Energy for heat and for mitigating technology is the only human response available to lower temperatures.
It has always been thus. The man who hikes into the winter mountains without warm clothing may freeze to death. He has, however, no moral right to demand that everyone else also leave their cold weather gear behind. Freedom to be different is an inherent human right. Freedom also confers important adaptive survival characteristics for the entire human race.
CURING THE INCURABLE Thomas E. Levy's book, Curing the Incurable, Livon Books, 2002, is largely a review of the work of Frederick R. Klenner, M.D., and other related discoveries. Dr. Klenner began medical practice in 1940. He soon became interested in research carried out in the 1930s, which showed that vitamin C could kill viruses "in vitro," outside of living things.
Frederick Klenner discovered two things. First, vitamin C can be given to humans in enormous oral and intravenous doses over short to medium time intervals without serious harm - long-term very high doses may be an exception. Second, very high doses of vitamin C, especially given intravenously, are remarkably effective in curing serious viral and bacterial infections, and even poisonous snake bite. Klenner reported that he cured 60 out of 60 polio patients during the polio epidemic of 1948 with vitamin C.
Klenner's work found its way into the alternative medicine industry in the 1950s and 1960's. Nutrition gurus such as Adele Davis and Carlton Fredricks advertised Klenner's findings to their followers. This led to the ingestion of supplementary doses of vitamin C by many Americans.
When Irwin Stone - on the basis of Klenner's work - first convinced Linus Pauling in 1967 to personally take 3 grams of vitamin C per day, Linus began to read the literature on vitamin C and to write summary articles and books about it. Klenner was delighted, thinking that Pauling's entrance into the field would lead to much greater recognition of his own, pioneering work. In this, Klenner was to be disappointed.
Pauling was willing to work closely with people whose work did not predate his own, but Klenner had 25 years of precedence in the field - which would overshadow Pauling. He referenced Klenner, but had very little interest in working with him.
This historical and personal interplay was unfortunate because Klenner's most important discoveries received too little attention, and Pauling's claims that "75% of all cancer can be prevented or cured by vitamin C alone" distorted the field away from some of the true merits of vitamin C.
Initially in the 1970s, I had little interest in Klenner's work. Working closely with Pauling, I tended to be influenced by his interests. Then, students working in my laboratory at UCSD discovered that vitamin C, in the presence of air, quickly destroys peptide and protein molecules. As a result, I asked Stanford graduate student Steve Richeimer to investigate the mechanism of this process.
Richeimer found that aerobic oxidation of vitamin C leads to free radicals and peroxides, which destroy peptides and proteins. We also found earlier published work showing a similar result, wherein vitamin C plus oxygen destroyed the integrity of DNA molecules. Later studies showed that these reactions also occur "in vivo," in living things. These findings were personally unfortunate for Richeimer, whose work was quickly terminated by Pauling in actions that seriously damaged his career.
In any case, Richeimer and I published a short paper suggesting that the oxidation products of vitamin C may have a significant positive value in biological systems - and Fredrick Klenner's work began to interest me more.
Klenner used doses of vitamin C very far beyond those found in ordinary biological systems. Moreover, his results were startling. Poisonous snake bite? Snake venoms are peptides. Peptides are chemically destroyed by the oxidation products of vitamin C. Viruses? Viruses are simple packages of DNA and protein, both of which are chemically destroyed by these same oxidation products. Bacteria could be similarly affected. Human cells and molecules would, of course, also be affected, but these are easily replaced within human tissues.
Did we now understand the mechanism of action that led to Klenner's results? Possibly, but by no means certainly. It is often the case, especially in fields as complex as biochemistry, that a hypothesis leads to experiments and procedures that turn out to be useful -even though the hypothesis turns out to be wrong.
It is also the case that outstanding empirical medical results are frequently ignored because they are not understood within the framework of ordinary medical training and orthodoxy.
Klenner's empirical results, however, stand on their own. They need not be understood to be of value. They have the potential to save many, many lives.
I strongly recommend that each reader of Access to Energy obtain a copy of Curing the Incurable by Thomas Levy - even if you just put the book on a shelf without reading it. Then, if you or someone for whom you are responsible is afflicted with a dangerous viral or bacterial infection - such as the infections that often kill elderly people, take the book from your shelf and read it. Klenner's procedures, especially those involving very high intravenous administration of vitamin C, might very well save a life. In any case, Klenner's discoveries provide an additional reason for hope.
Read the second and third articles ACCESS TO ENERGY A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter MARCH 2008 (Vol. 35 no. 8) Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523 Copyright 2008 by Access to Energy
Clathrate Hydrates Contrary to many popular accounts, there is absolutely no shortage of hydrocarbon resources in the United States. Besides large amounts of undrilled oil, the U.S. has enormous reserves of natural gas and essentially unlimited quantities of coal - 25% of the world supply. Oil shale is also abundant. Moreover, these resources can be converted into one another with ease.
For example, the liquefaction of American coal into oil could produce more oil per year than Saudi Arabia - for at least 200 years. Coal liquefaction, used by Germany to fuel its military during World War 11 and now used in South Africa, might be best done today with nuclear power. In any case, this is relatively simple to do with well-developed technology. Similarly, natural gas can be converted to oil, as is now being done on an industrial scale in the Middle East.
The shortage of hydrocarbon energy in the U.S. today - leading to high prices and a debilitating trade deficit - has been entirely caused by the paper-shuffling mob in Washington. Politicians have created a nightmare of taxation, regulation, and litigation that has prevented sufficient free-enterprise development of American hydrocarbon resources. If freedom were returned to our industrial environment, inexpensive and abundant domestic hydrocarbon energy would be available to Americans for several centuries.
Moreover, that "several centuries" is actually "several millennia" when methane clathrate hydrates are considered. In the authoritative book, Clathrate Hydrates of Natural Gases - Third Edition by E. Dendy Sloan and Carolyn A Koh, CRC Press, 2008, a review of estimates of U.S. and world methane clathrate hydrates is provided.
The current total annual energy consumption of the United States in methane, CH4, equivalents is estimated to be about 1 x 1012 cubic meters, m3, at standard temperature and pressure. The best current estimate of U.S. reserves of methane in clathrate hydrates - 1% in permafrost and 99% in the coastal oceans - is 9 x 1015 m3. This is enough methane to power the United States at its present energy use for 9,000 years. The 95% confidence limits of this estimate lie be-tween 3,000 and 19,000 years.
So, with already-developed technology, the U.S. can be self-sufficient in hydrocarbons for several centuries. By developing methane recovery methods for use with clathrates, this can be extended to several thousand years. Commercial methods for recovery of methane from clathrate deposits are already significantly along the way to practicality - both in the U.S. and in India and China..
Moreover, it is clear already that - if technological freedom is restored and maintained in the U.S. - conversion of most energy production to nuclear processes should occur during the 21st Century. Nuclear fuel resources are sufficient for tens of thousands of years.
At or beyond defined temperature and pressure, water freezes into ice - the usual form with which we are familiar. If, however, easily polarizable molecules of appropriate sizes are dissolved in the water, a different ice forms. This "clathrate" ice contains special cavities into which are fitted the solute molecules. Bonding of the solute molecules to the water increases the stability of the ice, so that it melts at a higher temperature than ordinary ice. Dissolved ionic substances such as ordinary salt interfere with ice formation. Also the shapes of the solute molecules affect stabilization, so there is much theoretical and empirical science associated with this subject.
As methane from biological and geological sources percolates into cold permafrost and oceanic regions, very large deposits of methane clathrate ices are formed.
The clathrate ices were discovered in the early 19th Century by Davy and Faraday and were fairly well understood before the beginning of the 20th Century. As natural gas transmission lines were built in the early 20th Century, it was found that formation of clathrate ices frequently caused plugging in these pipes, so clathrate chemistry became a standard component of pipeline engineering.
An interesting classroom demonstration can be constructed - featuring a piece of methane clathrate ice that burns like a candle. Since living things are largely composed of water, clathrate structures are also important in biochemistry. Already at Caltech in the 1960s, clathrate structures in biochemical systems were under study. See, for example, Robinson, A.B., Manly, K.F., Anthony, M.P., Catchpool, J.F., and Pauling, L., Anesthesis of Artemia Larvae: Method for Quantitative Study, Science 149 (1965) 1255.
The Miller-Pauling hypothesis of general anesthesia holds that general anesthetics function by organizing the water in living things into clathrate structures. All living things from swimming one-celled algae to human beings can be anesthetized by general anesthetics such as xenon, which fits clathrate cavities well and is an excellent anesthetic, or methane, which fits less well so is a poorer anesthetic.
The extra stabilization provided to clathrate ices and clathrate solvent structures arises from van der Waals dispersion forces between the included compounds and water. These forces are proportional to the polarizability of the included compound and also to the geometrical fit of that compound in the clathrate cavities.
The structure of water around protein molecules and other biological structures probably involves extensive clathrate structures, which play an essential part in biochemical processes. This field of specialization has, however, never been of much interest to the paper-shufflers who control tax-funded research grants - to which most academic scientists are addicted. So, research on biochemical clathrates has progressed very slowly.
Your body is filled with beautiful clathrate-like water structures similar to those which, as fully-formed ice, contain vast deposits of permafrost and oceanic methane.
Clathrate methane will likely not be used enough to appreciably diminish the supply - especially since we should change to abun-dant, inexpensive nuclear power in the near future. Its presence, however, is one more reason to ignore the misguided priests of "peak oil." The real issue is "peak hydrocarbons." This peak is at least thousands of years in the future - probably never.
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FEEDING CANCER "Vitamin C Megadoses Hamper Cancer Treatments in Mice" by Randy Dotinga in The Washington Post, October 1, 2008, reports research published by Mark L. Heaney of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City and his colleagues in which they found that vitamin C interferes with cancer chemo- therapy in mice. The mice were given the human equivalent of 2 grams of vitamin C per day. This reduced the effectiveness of chemotherapy by between 30% and 70%.
Medical "science" progresses very slowly. Part of the reason for this is that it is dominated by people trained in the application of current medical procedures to individual patients.
To be sure, hundreds of thousands of men and women trained in current medical procedures are necessary. Their skills and educations as MDs are extensive and essential, so they well deserve to be highly respected and generously rewarded.
People who are best able to discover and develop new knowledge require, however, markedly different talents and educations.
A research physical scientist carries, in his brain, a model of the systems in which he specializes. Each and every relevant experimental discovery must be consistent with his model. If an inconsistency arises, the model must change to accommodate it. Everything must conform to experimental reality.
In physics, if an experimental observation is made and is found to be rigorously repeatable, then it is considered a fact of nature. Physical theory must accommodate it. It cannot be ignored.
In medical research, however, most work is not rigorous in this way. If an observation is unusual or not in accord with currently accepted dogma, it is often rejected - for that reason alone.
In 1978, my coworkers and I made the discoveries summarized in Figure 1. See, Robinson, A.B, Hunsberger, A., and Westall, F.C., Mechanisms of Ageing and Development 76 (1994) 201-214. The graph shows the number of squamous cell carcinoma lesions in mice as a function of vitamin C intake. Cancer - pathologically identical to that found in humans - was induced in these mice by means of UV light, just as it is induced in humans. Humans eat about one kilogram of food per day, so the human equivalent dose is numerically the same as grams per kilogram in the mouse food.
The number of lesions at one point in the experiment shown in Figure 1, as delineated in greater detail in our research publication, measures the rate of growth of the cancer.
The cancer growth rate was found to be about 100% higher in 100 mice receiving the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day, as compared with mice that did not receive a supplement. At, however, true megadoses of 50 grams per day or higher, vitamin C reduces the cancer growth rate. A diet of raw fruits and vegetables also markedly reduces it. The dietary reduction has an advantage, since doses of vitamin C of 200 grams or greater are fatal to some of the mice. It is better not to be so close to a lethal limit - but, for seriously ill patients, this is justified.
The reported Sloan-Kettering work is almost certainly just a repeat of our finding that the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day increases the growth rate of cancer. They used a 2 gram human equivalent and found that the cancer grew faster than expected during their chemotherapy.
We published this result 14 years ago. In physical science, discoveries are not ordinarily forgotten for 14 years and then rediscov-ered. The Journal in which we published was Mechanisms of Ageing and Development - an old and very respected publication. Better, however, would have been the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, PNAS. Our paper was actually reviewed and submitted to PNAS by Martin Kamen, R. B. Merrifield, and B. Strehler. By the ordinary rules, that submission and recommendation should have meant automatic publication.
PNAS has, however, a special procedure in which any paper with potential medical implications must also pass a designated board of MDs. These MDs rejected the paper - nutrition and cancer not being a mainstream part of current ordinary medicine.
Our publication reported that the rate of growth of squamous cell carcinoma in mice can be varied over a 20-fold range by means of diet alone! Ho-hum. Medicine might become interested if the same thing is rediscovered several times over a period of 50 years.
In an age of ascendency of science and engineering, fields of specialization that depend upon this progress can advance very rapidly -but only if the people in these fields accept this advance. It is not this way in medicine. This is the reason I write medical "science" - with quotation marks. Sometimes it is a science and sometimes it isn't. When it isn't, unnecessary human suffering and death is the result.
HEALTH PROFILING In the review article "Revolutionizing 21st Century Medicine with Consumer-based Diagnostics and the Internet," J. American Physicians and Surgeons 12, 1, Spring 2007, which was sent to all Access to Energy subscribers, we discussed the advantages of application of modern technology to the quantitative measurement of human health. This work involves extracting quantitative information from human tissues and fluids and computationally analyzing it. This review article gives 21 references to the scientific literature that chronicle our work in this field.
Useful information can be extracted from whole body scans, biopsies, compilations of symptoms, blood analysis, urine analysis, and other sources. All of these are used in one form or another by "modern" medicine - but most of their techniques are technologically far out of date. Constrained by the medical monopoly and stifling government control of most health research, diagnostic medicine has fallen many decades behind technological advance.
This is going to change - although, unless the government-caused de-industrialization and de-capitalization of the United States is reversed, these advances will more likely be made in other countries.
As analytical apparatus is miniaturized and reduced in price, and as research using this apparatus advances, some people living now may well see a time when the air in the rooms in which they live is continuously monitored - with the information obtained used to extend their lives by many years and to markedly reduce their suffering due to ill health. The technology to do this exists now, but it is expensive, and it has not been applied to this problem.
In the nearer term and with the capital still available to Americans, the best substitute is regular urine analysis - by methods that are not now and are not likely in the future to be available from the American medical monopoly, without outside intervention.
Our work on this problem has inched forward to the point that we expect to be ready - by early 2009 - to test new techniques of urine analysis that we have developed.
Usually such tests involve sample sets that are impractical for widespread use. The samples are gathered in specialized ways from unusual groups of people. The end products of the laboratory work are research papers - published in the research literature, but rarely utilized in a practical way. We prefer to avoid this trap.
So, we have decided to ask the readers of Access to Energy to participate. Participation will require that the individual send to us - at regular 3-month intervals - a few drops of his urine. We will provide small vials and shipping containers for this purpose.
In addition to the urine samples, we will need to know the individual's sex and age and to know about specific serious illnesses that he has experienced in the past and illnesses that he experiences during his participation in the experiments. This will involve a health questionnaire similar to that ordinarily filled out in a doctor's office.
Everything - the questionnaire and the analyses - will, of course, be kept rigorously confidential.
In return, the participant can expect nothing other than the satisfaction of having helped with this research. We do not suggest that we will find information in his samples that will benefit him.
We are still refining our analytical and computational procedures. A few months from now, we will send out sample containers.
If you or someone you know would like to participate in this study, please send a note to the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, 2251 Dick George Road, Cave Junction, OR 97523. You will not hear from us immediately. Eventually, however, each per-son who volunteers will receive a sampling kit along with the necessary Questionnaire.
Hey gurls. So have something that I want to tell you all about. So two days ago (Tuesday) I didnt have school so I was home alone all morning long. This was the perfect chance for me to dress, so that morning I went into my moms room to find what I wanted to wear but I stopped and frozed before reaching my moms room. I started not feeling like dressing. Then I just went back in my room and started thinking how like its now so boring to dress alone. I've only dressed by myself since I only can do it when no one is home. Its so boring now to dress alone since I can't really share it with someone else in the room with me. I've always wanted to dress with another tgurl or a gg, but that hasn't happened yet and probably won't happen for a long time. So to all of you gurls reading this, should I be feeling and thinking this way? I don't know if its a bad thing to do?
Hey gurls, I was just wondering if anyone who uses yahoo mail had any weird problems today on it, because I've been.
When I sign in on the yahoo mail page I get this page saying like Cannot open site, or like cannot get to server but something like that, but I tried again and it signed me on to the homepage of my mail account but when i clicked on indox, those weird messages came up
Routine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped
in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed.
I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be
bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't
really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work.
Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop
my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I
don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the
warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my
life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to
retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more
comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There
is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You
remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were
in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or
when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting
traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a
solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good
excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always
a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know
about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite
intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too
long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and
his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of
kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let
go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during
one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked
about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not
fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed
political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he
never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many
decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during
the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also
that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the
Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone
has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed
B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the
truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I
knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But
little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush
and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not
going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority
superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8
and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black
vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex
marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters
followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything
unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a
meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry
against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think
protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's
make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens.
though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could
understand we are being discriminated like they were being
discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall
meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was
in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight
and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this,
cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do
the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good.
We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there
are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the
front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this
month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna
have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do. It
sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is
a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority
to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all
the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for
a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every
citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the
greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like
Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway,
Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex
marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized
in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia,
Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not
the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch
up. So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you
can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing
about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry
about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend
your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are
remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know
what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests
against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to
march, crazy people :-P
Routine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped
in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed.
I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be
bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't
really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work.
Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop
my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I
don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the
warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my
life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to
retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more
comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There
is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You
remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were
in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or
when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting
traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a
solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good
excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always
a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know
about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite
intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too
long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and
his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of
kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let
go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during
one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked
about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not
fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed
political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he
never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many
decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during
the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also
that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the
Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone
has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed
B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the
truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I
knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But
little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush
and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not
going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority
superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8
and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black
vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex
marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters
followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything
unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a
meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry
against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think
protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's
make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens.
though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could
understand we are being discriminated like they were being
discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall
meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was
in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight
and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this,
cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do
the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good.
We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there
are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the
front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this
month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna
have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do. It
sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is
a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority
to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all
the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for
a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every
citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the
greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like
Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway,
Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex
marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized
in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia,
Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not
the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch
up. So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you
can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing
about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry
about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend
your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are
remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know
what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests
against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to
march, crazy people :-P
Routine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped
in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed.
I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be
bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't
really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work.
Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop
my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I
don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the
warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my
life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to
retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more
comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There
is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You
remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were
in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or
when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting
traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a
solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good
excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always
a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know
about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite
intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too
long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and
his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of
kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let
go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during
one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked
about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not
fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed
political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he
never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many
decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during
the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also
that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the
Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone
has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed
B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the
truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I
knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But
little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush
and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not
going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority
superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8
and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black
vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex
marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters
followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything
unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a
meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry
against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think
protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's
make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens.
though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could
understand we are being discriminated like they were being
discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall
meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was
in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight
and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this,
cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do
the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good.
We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there
are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the
front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this
month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna
have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do. It
sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is
a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority
to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all
the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for
a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every
citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the
greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like
Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway,
Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex
marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized
in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia,
Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not
the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch
up. So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you
can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing
about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry
about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend
your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are
remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know
what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests
against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to
march, crazy people :-P
Routine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped
in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed.
I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be
bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't
really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work.
Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop
my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I
don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the
warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my
life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to
retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more
comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There
is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You
remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were
in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or
when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting
traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a
solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good
excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always
a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know
about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite
intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too
long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and
his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of
kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let
go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during
one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked
about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not
fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed
political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he
never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many
decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during
the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also
that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the
Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone
has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed
B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the
truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I
knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But
little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush
and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not
going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority
superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8
and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black
vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex
marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters
followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything
unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a
meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry
against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think
protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's
make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens.
though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could
understand we are being discriminated like they were being
discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall
meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was
in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight
and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this,
cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do
the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good.
We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there
are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the
front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this
month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna
have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do. It
sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is
a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority
to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all
the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for
a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every
citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the
greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like
Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway,
Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex
marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized
in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia,
Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not
the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch
up. So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you
can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing
about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry
about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend
your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are
remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know
what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests
against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to
march, crazy people :-P
I am reposting this article the suthor makes some very valid arguemwnt that I can relate to. Being a partitme non op ts who values thetime she can spend being herself but not able to realize the fruition of her desire to be full time at this juncture in her life due to circumstances beyond the obvious financial ones I do cherishand value the time I get to express myself as the woman I am.
The Occasional Woman
An Old Essay by Cheryl Ann "Cassie" Sanders
Reprinted Here (with a last line added here)
There are those among us
with XY chromosomes who can choose to "be" women whenever it is convenient
for them … and whenever, and for however long, they choose to, be it a
weekend, a day, an hour, a month, or forever.
Often, they are a lot
prettier than you. Often, while choosing to be women, they move with more
grace than you do, dress with better taste, unselfconsciously feel things
with a woman's natural sensibilities that still alludes you.
Often,
they are long passed the time when their sexuality was centered on their
clothes, and instead the lucky ones find themselves in comfortable, even
passionate, even if intermittent, relationships with men or
women.
Sometimes, if they are lucky, they experience the ultimate
authentication, they love and/or are loved as women. (And even
sometimes, they find themselves rolled up in a ball, under a throw, in a
window seat, crying from a heart hurt by another ... experiencing a kind of
feeling different from the way a man ever feels and in a way that is no way
distinguishable from that of any woman, natal or transsexual.
)
I
deeply admire transsexuals, the ultimate existential heroines, women of
courage, choosing to live their lives as they were meant to, no matter what
tricks nature and fate have tried to play on them.
But some few of them
seem to be so unreconstructed in their prejudices.
As an occasional
poster in various tg forums, I've noticed that I've often found myself
taking a curious place in the forum debates.
Like Don Quixote charging
the windmills, I champion the committed crossdresser, the dilettante
transvestite, even at the extreme, the lowly, lonely, panty-wearing, rushed
masturbator, even sad her. I champion them all, I argue for their sisterhood
in gender quandary, for their fully legitimate, fully equal places in our
community, not more nor less, just different.
I rage against the last
vestiges of class warfare in our community, especially from the transsexuals
who claim political correctness, but can't suppress their lingering
perceptions of the crossdresser as being, somehow, of a lower order of being
than themselves.
Especially when transsexuals use their perceived unique
class as the basis of their higher claim on political discourse, they insult
everyone, including themselves. (Since I am not black, maybe I cannot
feel in my gut all the ways racism is wrong; but that doesn't mean I
can't despise the stupidity of racism with all the same passion as
anyone else.) My contribution to political discourse, like everyone
else's, should be based on the reasonableness of my arguments, not on
some special class-based right.
Ironically, for these reprobates of
yesterday's transsexualism, it is their own lack of free will, their own
lack of choice that they trumpet triumphantly, that they use as
justification, even to themselves, for their air of superiority.
They
are so threatened! They find the concept of choice, the idea of fluidity of
gender, not as different, but as an attack on the very tales, tales however
true or just convenient, tales they tell themselves about their own lives.
And their response to the perceived attack is so sad, so defensive, so
hysterical a distancing of their class from all the others and, what's
worse, a disdain for all the others that's palpable … and
unjustified.
In contrast, I have many 24/7, fully-realized transsexual
friends on many different points of the gender expression spectrum, from
deep stealth to in-your-face, I-am-what-I-am ... and these many
transsexual friends have no trouble calling me "sister."
But for
those transsexuals who, even at this late date in the ongoing
nature-of-gender debate, those transsexuals that succumb to
name- calling, this touchy defensiveness, this distancing, this unworthy
disdain exposes a nerve of protest-too-much self-doubt that is
embarrassing in its obviousness.
Get over it girls. We're not better
nor worse than you. We're just different.
We are free. And our
courage is in recognizing and acting on our freedom … whenever it is
convenient … and whenever we choose to.
Don't ever dismiss me as a
"weekender." You don't know me.
I'm not into conspiracy theories but I do believe that lots of stuff happens because of $. Follow the money on this one and then tell me what you think?
This is long but if you have diffuse symptoms (chronic
illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, lupus, multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's
disease-illnesses) or know someone who does, it is worth the time. Likewise, if
you ever have a desire for a diet drink it is a must see - Suzi
Being a transgender person in fact identifying as a nonop -ts: though I don't live 24/7 at this time; I really get anoyed when people referr to this as a lifesyle. In fact I feel the same way about referring to any of the various facets of the GLBT communityas a lifestyle. While I guess you could quite effectively argue that by the dictionary definiton;" the typical way of life of an invidual, group or culture;" it is such I think that makes it a vague generalization. First of all I see lifestyle as making a concious choice to be or live a certain way. Believe me I struggled for years to come to the conclusion about myself that I did. Since it took me the better part of what I hope is the first half of my life to come to terms and accept that this is who I am I do not see it as a lifestyle as much as it being my life. Yes, in the sense that I quit running from myself and accepted who I am that is a choice. I guess myarguemetn is that I did not wake u p one morning I say I am transexual today I was born this way and it has taken al this time for me tosort that out and realize it.
How does this relate tothe rest of my community? I have come to realize that anymember of the GLBT Community can make the same arguement. I do beleive for lack of a better term that this is how we are hard wired at birth and the one and pnly choice we have in this is to either accept or deny who we are. Because in the process of making the decision to accept who we are and live our lives in what we see as the correct manner we open ourselves up to ridcule, ostricism and all kinds of other negative things including being labeled as deviant or sick I do not think it is a life style as much as it is my life because it who I am. The main point I am trying to get across here is the idea that I did not just wake up one morning and say gee today I am transsexual and I woul d rather be a woman than a man I mean think about this would I really just suddenly decide to send mylife in a direction that woudl expose me to all the negative reactions that society and even family seem to have towards the idea of gender idenitity or sexual orientation?
So you see to me this is life and its my life its who I am and how I live. Undoubtedly life would have been much easier had my appearance and anatomy matched my mind and spirit and psychological state. It would have been nice to never have had to go through this self discovery and have had everything functioning in harmony. Finding myself has helped me togrow as personand now I can look at others without having to label them or prejudge them. I have become acquainted with some wonderful people that I would never have known if Ihad not had to make this journey. Until I made my journey of self discovery and accepted wh Iam Iwould have probably looked upon this as a lifestyle but to me it is my life and his is the way ihave to live it to be happy, healthy and survive. While its true that I have made the ch oice that this is who I am that was more a coming to the realization of who I have always been rather than making a decision to be something or someone I'm not. Si maybe what I am saying is that my life is who I am and my lifestyle is how I choose to convey that to the world.
Keeping in touch
Frank October 26th, 2009 8:48 am MDTGood Morning,
I would like to send a Heart Felt Thank You to all the People I've met here.Even thou it is only via E-mail(Kellie,Janice Marie,Bobbie)and those I forgot to mention.
I will reach out to everyone even if is only to say "Hi".I'm shy by nature so it is somewhat of a challenge to approach people I don't know.
But I have to ask a question(rofl)I was just wondering,Do any of you Ladies ever answer those guys I see on comment sections leaving their phone numbers?I am just wondering,WTF is up with that?
Anyway,
Have a Wonderfull upcoming week(even if you are a yankees fan)
[1 comment]
Toe Nails
Sakura The Cutie October 4th, 2009 8:42 pm MDTYesterday, my gf thought it would be fun to paint my toe nails, and I just said ok. She used a purple color thats a little shiny. I feel so pretty now ^_^
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URNA @ Trixies this Saturday Oct. 03
Laura Carrillo September 28th, 2009 10:52 pm MDTIt is hard to change someone's decision if you yourself have your doubts about something. You lack the enthusiasm to push your idea, you feel jaded and a little funny. I am sure that is how most of the "regulars", who quit going to Trixies have felt since the showbar re-opened a couple months ago. What can a TG bar offer to a bunch of girls who go out everywhere and don't mind the stares of disconcert from the mainstream? Nothing. Yep, that's right. We go to expensive restaurants and eat better than what the kitchen at Trixies offers. We can walk into mostly any bar and get a drink that is cheaper than what Trixies is charging. We don't need the hassle of the occasional admirer and we have seen the showgirls hundreds of times.
Why would I then accept to help Jon and Vicki at the URNA get together this Saturday Oct. 3 then? Got into an argument with Glenn even. He said he wasn't going. I am sure most of the girls I hang out with, will probably be missing. But, I do not think this get together is destined to fail.
Of course, all the guys will be there- that's the only place they will go, but if there are no girls, then their enthusiasm wanes.
Definitely, there is no enthusiasm in the veteran ranks but I have noticed a stir among the part-time girls. Part- time girls do not go to Wilton Manors or South Beach- they rather remain anonymous and Trixies is the perfect spot for them. A couple of girls wrote to me and are delighted to know URNA is sponsoring a party this Saturday. I think back several years and I remember how I lived for the day when I could come out and use the term full time like a signature at the end of my name. There are more girls still in hiding and we live totally oblivious to this fact. Back then, the only place I would dare to go was Trixies. And I find this a very compelling argument to support the "only" TG bar in So Fla. The original owners Carlos and Stan made it a point to make every girl that walked in to feel welcome and comfortable. I told Sean (the new guy) that THAT was what made Trixies. Not the show, not the new lights or the new music system. A girl who rarely came out had the chance to feel the 'I am out' for a few hours, anonymously.
I do not know if the new ownership will understand. But I am going to give Trixies a chance. Maybe I don't feel like I am supporting Sean as much as I am supporting girls who do not have their own voice in the matter. Jon and Vicki have supported us all these years, so yeah I will be there too :-) And if you are coming stop by and say hi, I don't bite :-P
[1 comment]
Admirers thoughts
Frank April 7th, 2009 7:56 am MDTHey All,
You Girls are some of most honest people i've met.Let me explain:
And excuse some of my words as they are NOT part of my view merely making a point!
I grew up in a time when it was ok to Hate no matter who it was e.g. gay,black,jew,tg,ts you get the picture.
a friend of mine(who i didn't know was gay,i was only 12 and didnt figure it out until i was 30 or so) no kidding.anyway
Then a chance meeting not in person mind you,online.I was surfing the web and and came across a woman(pre-op)about 8 yrs ago,I wont use her name,But we chatted for hours and got to know each other pretty well.Then about 6months later she told me about her upcomming SRS and WOW i was floored,But the way we got along was .........Better than anybody i ever talked with she really undersstood and listened and didnt care about stereotypes.To this day I am thankful to have come in contact with your community and cherish some of the friendships i have come across,anyway
I guess what i'm trying to say is hate is taught
Love Is Love between two human beings
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Time to help out others
Frank April 4th, 2009 7:59 am MDTHi Everyone,
Do or can we support causes on this communinty?if not im sorry for posting this
But Please take a look.
www.foodforfurryfriends.com
www.anyloosechange.com
Thank you for your consideration
[Comment on this post]
Little My Maid
Sakura The Cutie March 5th, 2009 10:35 pm MSTHey everyone, so today I played this computer game called Little My Maid, its a japanese PC hentai game. If you don't know what hentai is, its japanese anime cartoon porn. I'm not into the whole hentai stuff but this game actually got me pretty turned on. Well anyways, you play this boy who is on vacation and sees this girl getting raped by 3 guys. You get to choose between saving her or doing nothing (I saved her ^_^) anyways you find out that she is a maid for this mansion. She takes you to the mansion and you find out that is ran all by these beautiful women. There is 4 maids and the owner of the mansion. Well the point of the game is mostly to read through the storyline which many parts you get to choose what happens next. Since this is a hentai game there are many scenes where you have sex with one of the maids or even the owner. I really liked the owner so I had sex with her the most. I really enjoyed the games, many parts of the game really turned me on. If anyone is interested in trying this game, I can tell you how to get it ^_^.
XXXSakuraXXX
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Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide By Jennifer Nelson
Suzi January 26th, 2009 10:27 am MSTThere is no sense in me trying to rewrite something that is this well said. This is from my good friend, ennifer - Love, Suzi
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Walking Both Sides of the Gender Divide
By Jennifer Nelson
What’s it like to walk on both sides of the gender spectrum sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman? This is the kind of question that gets asked by those who are naive yet curious. My answer, as a transgendered woman, is; “I don’t know.” Though I have a male body, for as long as I can remember, I have thought of myself as female. I hide it well, even though I don’t relate well to guys doing guy things. My heart aches to have a doll collection. When I see a beautiful woman, my thoughts are; “how can I be more like her.” Men and women are truly different. In body, it’s obvious. In the mind, where you can’t see it, it’s no less profound. Looking across the gender spectrum, probably 99.9% of men are congruent with being men and 99.9% of women are congruent with being women. These men have absolutely no interest in putting on a dress and the women have no interest in being men. Their gender and sex are congruent.
This is at the heart of the misunderstanding the general public has about us as transgendered women. They have no comprehension of what it is like to walk in our shoes. (No pun intended.) They can't even imagine it. Many are even revulsed by the idea because it is so foreign to who they are. What woman would want to be a man? What man would want to be a woman? Yet here we are, women on the inside struggling to make the person we see in the mirror congruent with our inner selves. Being married and transgendered further complicates the situation. On the one hand our spouses have expectations of us as men and specifically as husbands. On the other hand we are transgendered. Denial, purges, prayer, nothing seems to change who we are inside.
I was once scolded by one of my wife’s friends who had heard that I sometimes wore women’s clothes. If she only knew. I had no interest in getting into a discussion with her but she did get me thinking about how could I ever explain my conundrum? How can this make sense to those who are congruent as males or females? Imagine, as a mind game, that a beautiful genetic woman is made to look like a man; short hair cut, no makeup, no jewelry, no earrings, takes testosterone, has no breasts, grows a beard or shaves every day wears male clothes lowers her voice and walks like a soldier. Next, she's told this is who she is for the rest of her life which means, among other things, that all her relationships will change. Other women will look upon her as a man; i.e., one of them, useful but not girl friend material. She will also now have to relate to men as one of them. Remember that through all of this, in her mind, she is still a woman. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time she puts on her clothed every time she comes in contact with another person, who she is and who she appears to be are in diametric opposition. This is truly a recipe for disaster. Welcome to being transgendered.
This is what I wrote Amanda Richards after she did a makeover and photo shoot on me in 2006: “I can't express how much I appreciated your artistry in doing my makeover. When I first saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize the woman smiling back at me. I saw a beautiful woman, young, modern, vibrant, classy, elegant and sophisticated looking like she had just stepped out of the pages of Elle Magazine. My smile for the rest of the day was real, I felt like I've never felt before. I was the woman in the mirror. I was the woman I had always dreamed I could be. Even that night when I looked in the mirror, I saw this same beautiful woman smiling back at me. Jim Bridges taught me a lot but you brought my face to a totally new level. Your color palette is so different from what I've been using that I'm going to have to get the complete MAC kit before I can even start to reproduce my new look. I have so much to learn but the wonderful result you showed me gives me the encouragement to get started. Amanda, you've turned the clock back 30 years! I want to look spectacular.
“Last year I watched a reality program called the Swan, where a group of women who considered themselves flawed, ugly and rejected were put through a rigor of diet, exercise, face lifts etc., never seeing themselves in a mirror until the final reveal. Dressed to the nines, they finally saw themselves for the first time as the beautiful women they had become. Watching the program I could feel their joy, elation and even disbelief as they saw themselves for the first time. Now, I truly know how they felt because I too was that woman. The photo shoot, seeing my new self in various outfits, is a wonderful remembrance of the day. I see myself in the green dot dress as elegant and sophisticated. With the corset pulled tight, my shape is so feminine. How I felt in the wedding gown is beyond words. I shall never be a bride, but wearing such an elegant and beautiful gown has always been a fantasy that has now been given life. Thinking back over the day and reviewing my pictures, I want to cry with joy. “The need for congruence as a woman is very strong.”
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My Title
Georgieanna Gwendolyn Gorgeous January 19th, 2009 11:25 am MSTFor the last several years I have been heavily involved in supporting Majestic Hearts of All Colorado. thsi is a pageant that exists for the rasing of money for various charities both inside and outside the GLBT community. My good friend Phyllis si the owner of the pageant and I have performed in many oftheir shows from the beginning of the pageants existance.In fact it is actualy due to the existence of the pageant that I first began performing.
For many years Phyllis had wanted me to have formal title but due to the rules and regulations of the pageant I did nto fall neatly into the guidlines. This past Saturday she bestowed upon me the titleof Honorary Ms.for life. I was very honored to be crowned and sashed as I have always enjoyed supporting the pageant and its work.
I think my crown loks damn good lol!!
[Comment on this post]
Best gift ever!
Sakura The Cutie January 17th, 2009 10:56 pm MSTHey girls! Hows everyone doing? So anyways like a couple of weeks ago my gf was going to throw out a old shirt that was a little worn out on one side, and OMG its such a cute shirt, but anyways lol, I told her to not throw it out and she asked if I want it since like I give her my shirts sometimes. She asked me if I was going to wear it cuz she thought it was weird that I wanted it in the first place (oh yea, if you dont know, my gf doesn't know that I dress) and I just told her that I wanted it for like a memory thing so when Im not was her, I have something of hers. So anyways today she gave me it, and when I got home I tried it on. Its a little tight but I like it. Its a black shirt and the shoulders are a see-through pattern. Its really cute. Hopefully the next time I dress I can take some pics and let everyone see it. ^_^
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This Transgender Existance: Where I Am
Georgieanna Gwendolyn Gorgeous January 3rd, 2009 11:30 am MSTI was chattign on line with a friend last night and discussing where I am in my journey and the reasons for such.
In the way of a little background I am now 52 soon to be 53(May 5 too close whew!!) but then again age is only one more label we use to define ourselves. Around the age of 9 I had my first experience related to wht I at the ti me saw as cross dressing. I always saw it as that in my formative years but somehow the sinning of female attire was never about sexual gratifacation there was always something more it seemed to transport me to a more calm and serene feeling. Being raised a wasp this conflicted with not only my socialization but what I was taughta s a protestant. Of course by the time I reached puberty I was invovled in scouting and so many other male oriented activities that I was able to ignore or at least sublimate the other desires.
Through high school I would have been considered to be shy around girls. As I have matured and come to understand myself bettter I now realize what I at the time thought were crushes on several girls were not that at all. I now believe that I was atracted to their feminine beauty and strength because though physically I apeared to be male psychologically and spiritually I was struggling to gain my female awareness. What I was really desiring was that my shysical attributes would have allowed me to share true gender with other females and to experience and share those pubescent rituals with the girls. Through college I once again was able to sublimate my true self because my focus was on graduating andd starting a life.
Many times through my 20's and even into my early 40's I would return secrectly to the dressing to satisfythe innerneeds. Always it woudl be fine for a short period of timethen my religious and social upbringing would surface and I would feel deep guilt why am I this way boys don't have those desires besides its a sin just look in the bible. my major confusion was based on the misinformation that I was exposed to growing up the idea that boys that wanted to dress as girls were gay. Yet I k newin my own heart and mind that my sexual orientation was not gay so what was wrong with me if I wa snot gay why did I harbor this desire to dress female and even more why did I expereince such an overwhelming sense of calm and joy when I was dreswed female?
As I reeached my mid 40's the conflict reached a point where I could no longer ignore the needs. The major event in my life at this time that put on more a road of self discovery was my first pc and my first encounter with the internet. The first search parameters I ever typed into an engine were the terms cross dresser, transvestite and transsexual.this was such an ephipany for me becasue though logically I probably always comprehended that I was not the only one to see thousands uppon thousands of sites dealing withthe whole tg spectrum was proof positive that I was not alone. At this point in my journey I immediately accepted that I was a cross dresser and felt such a relief of burden becasue if I there were so manyothers aroudn the world not only was I not alone but maybe I wasn't so strange.
Through another girl I meant in a chat room I was guided to Trie Ess ( The Society for The Second Self):a national and international organzation that is a support group for cds an d their families> Upon reading the theory of the second self I came to the revalation that this made sense about who I was and where I fit. This was 8years ago and in the beginning of my self realization this was a comfortable place for me I could express myself in a group of like minded people. I was able to get out once a month as my inner female self. Somewhere in the middle of the second year of my tri ess association I realized that accepting myself as a cross dresser was just a step ina much larger journey. What led me tothis realization is one saturday night after returning home from the monthly meeting I had such a heavy sense of dread that Ihad to remove al the clothing and make up and go back to the male appearance. It was at this point that Iunderstood that identifying as a cd had been a comfortable place to start but it wasn't really me. It was that nightthat I began identifying myself as transsexual.
Though due to circumstances in my life at this time I still live the majority of my life as a male I now identify as a non op ts female. Many people I have spoken with feel that its wrong for me to identify this way because niether am I yet living even 50% of the time as female or on hrt (hormone replacement therapy). My answer to that is that I know in my inner beign that I am female and that point can not be argued. I also am told that becasue I have not revealed this to my immediate family I am not being true to myself. My answer to that is especially with my parents becasue of their age and the time they were brought up in its better not to ask them to deal with it. Also as htey are in their 80s and my mother isstricken with ms and my father is her care giver I think it would be quite selfish of me to make this an issue for them. As I gro tounderstand myself more I also have come to the conclusion that as much as we want others to accept that this is whowe truly are that it is hard to lay that expectation on them when it takes us so long to understand and accept ourselves.
I have found ways to cope. I have several very close ts girlfriends that constantly express thier love and support and provide encouragement. Theyhave helped me to understand that while many of us take this journey each of us is unique in that we each find the paththat owrks best for us.
My friend told me last night that she thought I was being strong and valiant by considering my parents needs over mine. Iam not sure if that is the case I just know that as my inner female traits grow and develope that in an indirect way while they still seee me as their son they are getting to nowtheir daughter.
[Comment on this post]
Curing the Incurable - Is HIV treatable???
Suzi December 21st, 2008 3:03 pm MSTRead the second article in the first newsletter and the second and third articles in newsletter that follows. I left the newsletters in so you had a better idea on where then came from - Suzi
ACCESS TO ENERGY
A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter
NOVEMBER 2007 (Vol. 35 no. 4), Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523
Copyright 2007 by Access to Energy
Adaptation
Empirical evidence supporting the hypothesis of biological "evolution" is meager at best This hypothesized phenomenon is experi-mentally unobservable and. therefore, not validated. Many of the outstanding scientists I have known - from atheists to Christians -quietly subscribe to some form of "intelligent design." "Quietly" is the operative word here because American academia has become increasingly uninhabitable for those who do not appear to conform to current politically correct trends.
"Adaptation." however, is easily observable and constantly in evidence. Each living species contains very great variation within its genes - biological variability between individuals of the same species. This allows species to adapt to changing'conditions.
A remarkable example of this is found in bacteria that require the essential amino acid tryptophan in their diets. If tryptophan is eliminated from their diet, the entire colony of bacteria quickly gains the ability to make it. If tryptophan is returned to the growth medium, then the bacteria colony loses the ability to make it.
Without dietary tryptophan or the ability to make tryptophan, the colony would die. If tryptophan is supplied, however, there is a competitive advantage in not using resources to make tryptophan. In each case, a few bacteria with the opposite talent remain in the colony. If their particular ability becomes advantageous, their progeny quickly dominate the colony.
Evolutionists like to describe such phenomena as micro-evolution - the colony evolving back and forth driven by survival of the fittest. Survival is driving this process, but it has nothing to do with evolution. Biological variation - or "diversity," to use a popular politically correct word - is present in all living species. This assures that the species survive under widely varied conditions. This diversity can take the form of individuals of different abilities or of biochemical systems that measure the environment and change individual biochemistry to adapt to conditions as needed
The United States Constitutional Republic was constructed in such a way as to take advantage of a similar phenomenon. With many separate semi-autonomous states, errors made by one state government were unlikely to be made simultaneously by the others. People and resources- flowed back- and forth between these largely independent states in accordance with the wisdom of their policies.
For example, if one state debased its currency and another maintained honest money, market competition would have soon ended the debasement. With, however, the vast growth of centralized power in Washington, this advantage has been substantially lost. An error in Washington affects the whole.
Still, the process of adaptation is nevertheless at work. Through excessive governmental taxation, regulation, and litigation, the United States has been rendered a poor environment for energy and manufacturing industries. So, these activities have flowed to other nations that have not been as unwise. In this way the community of nations - the political species - has gained survival capabilities through adaptive survival of the fittest. The human race has an abundance of energy and manufacturing even though it is increasingly no longer located in the United States. Survival of the fittest is therefore diminishing American prosperity and power.
Now, however, international elitists want to impose tyrannical control over the entire community of nations. The human-caused global warming propaganda drive is an effort to transfer power to tax and ration energy into an international body that will thereby control the energy and technology of all nations. Aside from its immoral and unethical aspects, this diminution of the independence of nation states contains great peril for the human race.
While Al Gore and retainers regale the public with fear of global warming, NASA scientist David Hathaway is predicting the opposite. John Casey, Director of the NASA Space Science Research Center, has confirmed that their research indicates an impending return to Earth temperatures as low or lower than prevailed during the Little Ice Age that occurred about 200 to 300 years ago. See http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10may_longrange.htm and also www.spaceandscience.net.
These NASA studies indicate that the solar cycle beginning between 2015 and 2020 may have unusually low activity - similar to that which contributed to the Little Ice Age. Accurate predictions of future weather are not yet possible. The actual temperature could rise or fall - no one knows this future.
If, however, a member of the current crop of political opportunists running for U. S. President is elected - rather than Ron Paul, the energy deficit in the United States will seriously worsen. All of these people have endorsed the human-caused global warming. United Nations agenda. So, if NASA is right, Americans are going to be very cold and miserable beginning about 10 years from now. While we could easily cool the Earth with the Penner-Teller procedures, we have no means with which to warm it.
Should the fears of misinformed and over-governed Americans be allowed to drag Asia and Africa into the same disaster? If energy production is unregulated - controlled by free enterprise or at least by separate nation states, then some of the world's people will not be energy poor if colder weather comes.
Without an immediate revival of the American hydrocarbon and nuclear energy industries - made possible by government withdrawal of the oppressive taxes, regulations, and litigation that currently prevent this, Americans will be very short of energy 10 years from now. Energy for heat and for mitigating technology is the only human response available to lower temperatures.
It has always been thus. The man who hikes into the winter mountains without warm clothing may freeze to death. He has, however, no moral right to demand that everyone else also leave their cold weather gear behind. Freedom to be different is an inherent human right. Freedom also confers important adaptive survival characteristics for the entire human race.
CURING THE INCURABLE
Thomas E. Levy's book, Curing the Incurable, Livon Books, 2002, is largely a review of the work of Frederick R. Klenner, M.D., and other related discoveries. Dr. Klenner began medical practice in 1940. He soon became interested in research carried out in the 1930s, which showed that vitamin C could kill viruses "in vitro," outside of living things.
Frederick Klenner discovered two things. First, vitamin C can be given to humans in enormous oral and intravenous doses over short to medium time intervals without serious harm - long-term very high doses may be an exception. Second, very high doses of vitamin C, especially given intravenously, are remarkably effective in curing serious viral and bacterial infections, and even poisonous snake bite. Klenner reported that he cured 60 out of 60 polio patients during the polio epidemic of 1948 with vitamin C.
Klenner's work found its way into the alternative medicine industry in the 1950s and 1960's. Nutrition gurus such as Adele Davis and Carlton Fredricks advertised Klenner's findings to their followers. This led to the ingestion of supplementary doses of vitamin C by many Americans.
When Irwin Stone - on the basis of Klenner's work - first convinced Linus Pauling in 1967 to personally take 3 grams of vitamin C per day, Linus began to read the literature on vitamin C and to write summary articles and books about it. Klenner was delighted, thinking that Pauling's entrance into the field would lead to much greater recognition of his own, pioneering work. In this, Klenner was to be disappointed.
Pauling was willing to work closely with people whose work did not predate his own, but Klenner had 25 years of precedence in the field - which would overshadow Pauling. He referenced Klenner, but had very little interest in working with him.
This historical and personal interplay was unfortunate because Klenner's most important discoveries received too little attention, and Pauling's claims that "75% of all cancer can be prevented or cured by vitamin C alone" distorted the field away from some of the true merits of vitamin C.
Initially in the 1970s, I had little interest in Klenner's work. Working closely with Pauling, I tended to be influenced by his interests. Then, students working in my laboratory at UCSD discovered that vitamin C, in the presence of air, quickly destroys peptide and protein molecules. As a result, I asked Stanford graduate student Steve Richeimer to investigate the mechanism of this process.
Richeimer found that aerobic oxidation of vitamin C leads to free radicals and peroxides, which destroy peptides and proteins. We also found earlier published work showing a similar result, wherein vitamin C plus oxygen destroyed the integrity of DNA molecules. Later studies showed that these reactions also occur "in vivo," in living things. These findings were personally unfortunate for Richeimer, whose work was quickly terminated by Pauling in actions that seriously damaged his career.
In any case, Richeimer and I published a short paper suggesting that the oxidation products of vitamin C may have a significant positive value in biological systems - and Fredrick Klenner's work began to interest me more.
Klenner used doses of vitamin C very far beyond those found in ordinary biological systems. Moreover, his results were startling. Poisonous snake bite? Snake venoms are peptides. Peptides are chemically destroyed by the oxidation products of vitamin C. Viruses? Viruses are simple packages of DNA and protein, both of which are chemically destroyed by these same oxidation products. Bacteria could be similarly affected. Human cells and molecules would, of course, also be affected, but these are easily replaced within human tissues.
Did we now understand the mechanism of action that led to Klenner's results? Possibly, but by no means certainly. It is often the case, especially in fields as complex as biochemistry, that a hypothesis leads to experiments and procedures that turn out to be useful -even though the hypothesis turns out to be wrong.
It is also the case that outstanding empirical medical results are frequently ignored because they are not understood within the framework of ordinary medical training and orthodoxy.
Klenner's empirical results, however, stand on their own. They need not be understood to be of value. They have the potential to save many, many lives.
I strongly recommend that each reader of Access to Energy obtain a copy of Curing the Incurable by Thomas Levy - even if you just put the book on a shelf without reading it. Then, if you or someone for whom you are responsible is afflicted with a dangerous viral or bacterial infection - such as the infections that often kill elderly people, take the book from your shelf and read it. Klenner's procedures, especially those involving very high intravenous administration of vitamin C, might very well save a life. In any case, Klenner's discoveries provide an additional reason for hope.
Read the second and third articles
ACCESS TO ENERGY
A Pro-Science, Pro-Technology, Pro-Free Enterprise Monthly Newsletter
MARCH 2008 (Vol. 35 no. 8) Box 1250, Cave Junction, Oregon 97523
Copyright 2008 by Access to Energy
Clathrate Hydrates
Contrary to many popular accounts, there is absolutely no shortage of hydrocarbon resources in the United States. Besides large amounts of undrilled oil, the U.S. has enormous reserves of natural gas and essentially unlimited quantities of coal - 25% of the world supply. Oil shale is also abundant. Moreover, these resources can be converted into one another with ease.
For example, the liquefaction of American coal into oil could produce more oil per year than Saudi Arabia - for at least 200 years. Coal liquefaction, used by Germany to fuel its military during World War 11 and now used in South Africa, might be best done today with nuclear power. In any case, this is relatively simple to do with well-developed technology. Similarly, natural gas can be converted to oil, as is now being done on an industrial scale in the Middle East.
The shortage of hydrocarbon energy in the U.S. today - leading to high prices and a debilitating trade deficit - has been entirely caused by the paper-shuffling mob in Washington. Politicians have created a nightmare of taxation, regulation, and litigation that has prevented sufficient free-enterprise development of American hydrocarbon resources. If freedom were returned to our industrial environment, inexpensive and abundant domestic hydrocarbon energy would be available to Americans for several centuries.
Moreover, that "several centuries" is actually "several millennia" when methane clathrate hydrates are considered. In the authoritative book, Clathrate Hydrates of Natural Gases - Third Edition by E. Dendy Sloan and Carolyn A Koh, CRC Press, 2008, a review of estimates of U.S. and world methane clathrate hydrates is provided.
The current total annual energy consumption of the United States in methane, CH4, equivalents is estimated to be about 1 x 1012 cubic meters, m3, at standard temperature and pressure. The best current estimate of U.S. reserves of methane in clathrate hydrates - 1% in permafrost and 99% in the coastal oceans - is 9 x 1015 m3. This is enough methane to power the United States at its present energy use for 9,000 years. The 95% confidence limits of this estimate lie be-tween 3,000 and 19,000 years.
So, with already-developed technology, the U.S. can be self-sufficient in hydrocarbons for several centuries. By developing methane recovery methods for use with clathrates, this can be extended to several thousand years. Commercial methods for recovery of methane from clathrate deposits are already significantly along the way to practicality - both in the U.S. and in India and China..
Moreover, it is clear already that - if technological freedom is restored and maintained in the U.S. - conversion of most energy production to nuclear processes should occur during the 21st Century. Nuclear fuel resources are sufficient for tens of thousands of years.
At or beyond defined temperature and pressure, water freezes into ice - the usual form with which we are familiar. If, however, easily polarizable molecules of appropriate sizes are dissolved in the water, a different ice forms. This "clathrate" ice contains special cavities into which are fitted the solute molecules. Bonding of the solute molecules to the water increases the stability of the ice, so that it melts at a higher temperature than ordinary ice. Dissolved ionic substances such as ordinary salt interfere with ice formation. Also the shapes of the solute molecules affect stabilization, so there is much theoretical and empirical science associated with this subject.
As methane from biological and geological sources percolates into cold permafrost and oceanic regions, very large deposits of methane clathrate ices are formed.
The clathrate ices were discovered in the early 19th Century by Davy and Faraday and were fairly well understood before the beginning of the 20th Century. As natural gas transmission lines were built in the early 20th Century, it was found that formation of clathrate ices frequently caused plugging in these pipes, so clathrate chemistry became a standard component of pipeline engineering.
An interesting classroom demonstration can be constructed - featuring a piece of methane clathrate ice that burns like a candle.
Since living things are largely composed of water, clathrate structures are also important in biochemistry. Already at Caltech in the 1960s, clathrate structures in biochemical systems were under study. See, for example, Robinson, A.B., Manly, K.F., Anthony, M.P., Catchpool, J.F., and Pauling, L., Anesthesis of Artemia Larvae: Method for Quantitative Study, Science 149 (1965) 1255.
The Miller-Pauling hypothesis of general anesthesia holds that general anesthetics function by organizing the water in living things into clathrate structures. All living things from swimming one-celled algae to human beings can be anesthetized by general anesthetics such as xenon, which fits clathrate cavities well and is an excellent anesthetic, or methane, which fits less well so is a poorer anesthetic.
The extra stabilization provided to clathrate ices and clathrate solvent structures arises from van der Waals dispersion forces between the included compounds and water. These forces are proportional to the polarizability of the included compound and also to the geometrical fit of that compound in the clathrate cavities.
The structure of water around protein molecules and other biological structures probably involves extensive clathrate structures, which play an essential part in biochemical processes. This field of specialization has, however, never been of much interest to the paper-shufflers who control tax-funded research grants - to which most academic scientists are addicted. So, research on biochemical clathrates has progressed very slowly.
Your body is filled with beautiful clathrate-like water structures similar to those which, as fully-formed ice, contain vast deposits of permafrost and oceanic methane.
Clathrate methane will likely not be used enough to appreciably diminish the supply - especially since we should change to abun-dant, inexpensive nuclear power in the near future. Its presence, however, is one more reason to ignore the misguided priests of "peak oil." The real issue is "peak hydrocarbons." This peak is at least thousands of years in the future - probably never.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
FEEDING CANCER
"Vitamin C Megadoses Hamper Cancer Treatments in Mice" by Randy Dotinga in The Washington Post, October 1, 2008, reports research published by Mark L. Heaney of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City and his colleagues in which they found that vitamin C interferes with cancer chemo-
therapy in mice. The mice were given the human equivalent of 2 grams of vitamin C per day. This reduced the effectiveness of chemotherapy by between 30% and 70%.
Medical "science" progresses very slowly. Part of the reason for this is that it is dominated by people trained in the application of current medical procedures to individual patients.
To be sure, hundreds of thousands of men and women trained in current medical procedures are necessary. Their skills and educations as MDs are extensive and essential, so they well deserve to be highly respected and generously rewarded.
People who are best able to discover and develop new knowledge require, however, markedly different talents and educations.
A research physical scientist carries, in his brain, a model of the systems in which he specializes. Each and every relevant experimental discovery must be consistent with his model. If an inconsistency arises, the model must change to accommodate it. Everything must conform to experimental reality.
In physics, if an experimental observation is made and is found to be rigorously repeatable, then it is considered a fact of nature. Physical theory must accommodate it. It cannot be ignored.
In medical research, however, most work is not rigorous in this way. If an observation is unusual or not in accord with currently accepted dogma, it is often rejected - for that reason alone.
In 1978, my coworkers and I made the discoveries summarized in Figure 1. See, Robinson, A.B, Hunsberger, A., and Westall, F.C., Mechanisms of Ageing and Development 76 (1994) 201-214. The graph shows the number of squamous cell carcinoma lesions in mice as a function of vitamin C intake. Cancer - pathologically identical to that found in humans - was induced in these mice by means of UV light, just as it is induced in humans. Humans eat about one kilogram of food per day, so the human equivalent dose is numerically the same as grams per kilogram in the mouse food.
The number of lesions at one point in the experiment shown in Figure 1, as delineated in greater detail in our research publication, measures the rate of growth of the cancer.
The cancer growth rate was found to be about 100% higher in 100 mice receiving the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day, as compared with mice that did not receive a supplement. At, however, true megadoses of 50 grams per day or higher, vitamin C reduces the cancer growth rate. A diet of raw fruits and vegetables also markedly reduces it. The dietary reduction has an advantage, since doses of vitamin C of 200 grams or greater are fatal to some of the mice. It is better not to be so close to a lethal limit - but, for seriously ill patients, this is justified.
The reported Sloan-Kettering work is almost certainly just a repeat of our finding that the human equivalent of 3 grams of vitamin C per day increases the growth rate of cancer. They used a 2 gram human equivalent and found that the cancer grew faster than expected during their chemotherapy.
We published this result 14 years ago. In physical science, discoveries are not ordinarily forgotten for 14 years and then rediscov-ered. The Journal in which we published was Mechanisms of Ageing and Development - an old and very respected publication. Better, however, would have been the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, PNAS. Our paper was actually reviewed and submitted to PNAS by Martin Kamen, R. B. Merrifield, and B. Strehler. By the ordinary rules, that submission and recommendation should have meant automatic publication.
PNAS has, however, a special procedure in which any paper with potential medical implications must also pass a designated board of MDs. These MDs rejected the paper - nutrition and cancer not being a mainstream part of current ordinary medicine.
Our publication reported that the rate of growth of squamous cell carcinoma in mice can be varied over a 20-fold range by means of diet alone! Ho-hum. Medicine might become interested if the same thing is rediscovered several times over a period of 50 years.
In an age of ascendency of science and engineering, fields of specialization that depend upon this progress can advance very rapidly -but only if the people in these fields accept this advance. It is not this way in medicine. This is the reason I write medical "science" - with quotation marks. Sometimes it is a science and sometimes it isn't. When it isn't, unnecessary human suffering and death is the result.
HEALTH PROFILING
In the review article "Revolutionizing 21st Century Medicine with Consumer-based Diagnostics and the Internet," J. American Physicians and Surgeons 12, 1, Spring 2007, which was sent to all Access to Energy subscribers, we discussed the advantages of application of modern technology to the quantitative measurement of human health. This work involves extracting quantitative information from human tissues and fluids and computationally analyzing it. This review article gives 21 references to the scientific literature that chronicle our work in this field.
Useful information can be extracted from whole body scans, biopsies, compilations of symptoms, blood analysis, urine analysis, and other sources. All of these are used in one form or another by "modern" medicine - but most of their techniques are technologically far out of date. Constrained by the medical monopoly and stifling government control of most health research, diagnostic medicine has fallen many decades behind technological advance.
This is going to change - although, unless the government-caused de-industrialization and de-capitalization of the United States is reversed, these advances will more likely be made in other countries.
As analytical apparatus is miniaturized and reduced in price, and as research using this apparatus advances, some people living now may well see a time when the air in the rooms in which they live is continuously monitored - with the information obtained used to extend their lives by many years and to markedly reduce their suffering due to ill health. The technology to do this exists now, but it is expensive, and it has not been applied to this problem.
In the nearer term and with the capital still available to Americans, the best substitute is regular urine analysis - by methods that are not now and are not likely in the future to be available from the American medical monopoly, without outside intervention.
Our work on this problem has inched forward to the point that we expect to be ready - by early 2009 - to test new techniques of urine analysis that we have developed.
Usually such tests involve sample sets that are impractical for widespread use. The samples are gathered in specialized ways from unusual groups of people. The end products of the laboratory work are research papers - published in the research literature, but rarely utilized in a practical way. We prefer to avoid this trap.
So, we have decided to ask the readers of Access to Energy to participate. Participation will require that the individual send to us - at regular 3-month intervals - a few drops of his urine. We will provide small vials and shipping containers for this purpose.
In addition to the urine samples, we will need to know the individual's sex and age and to know about specific serious illnesses that he has experienced in the past and illnesses that he experiences during his participation in the experiments. This will involve a health questionnaire similar to that ordinarily filled out in a doctor's office.
Everything - the questionnaire and the analyses - will, of course, be kept rigorously confidential.
In return, the participant can expect nothing other than the satisfaction of having helped with this research. We do not suggest that we will find information in his samples that will benefit him.
We are still refining our analytical and computational procedures. A few months from now, we will send out sample containers.
If you or someone you know would like to participate in this study, please send a note to the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, 2251 Dick George Road, Cave Junction, OR 97523. You will not hear from us immediately. Eventually, however, each per-son who volunteers will receive a sampling kit along with the necessary Questionnaire.
[Comment on this post]
A day to dress.....?
Sakura The Cutie December 11th, 2008 12:35 pm MSTHey gurls. So have something that I want to tell you all about. So two days ago (Tuesday) I didnt have school so I was home alone all morning long. This was the perfect chance for me to dress, so that morning I went into my moms room to find what I wanted to wear but I stopped and frozed before reaching my moms room. I started not feeling like dressing. Then I just went back in my room and started thinking how like its now so boring to dress alone. I've only dressed by myself since I only can do it when no one is home. Its so boring now to dress alone since I can't really share it with someone else in the room with me. I've always wanted to dress with another tgurl or a gg, but that hasn't happened yet and probably won't happen for a long time. So to all of you gurls reading this, should I be feeling and thinking this way? I don't know if its a bad thing to do?
[3 comments]
Yahoo Mail Problems
Sakura The Cutie November 29th, 2008 5:16 pm MSTHey gurls, I was just wondering if anyone who uses yahoo mail had any weird problems today on it, because I've been.
When I sign in on the yahoo mail page I get this page saying like Cannot open site, or like cannot get to server but something like that, but I tried again and it signed me on to the homepage of my mail account but when i clicked on indox, those weird messages came up
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 11th, 2008 5:49 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:57 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:32 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
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Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:30 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Repost of "The Ocassional Woman"
Georgieanna Gwendolyn Gorgeous September 9th, 2008 10:06 am MDTI am reposting this article the suthor makes some very valid arguemwnt that I can relate to. Being a partitme non op ts who values thetime she can spend being herself but not able to realize the fruition of her desire to be full time at this juncture in her life due to circumstances beyond the obvious financial ones I do cherishand value the time I get to express myself as the woman I am.
The Occasional Woman
An Old Essay by Cheryl Ann "Cassie" Sanders Reprinted Here (with a
last line added here)
There are those among us with XY chromosomes who can choose to "be"
women whenever it is convenient for them … and whenever, and for
however long, they choose to, be it a weekend, a day, an hour, a
month, or forever.
Often, they are a lot prettier than you. Often, while choosing to be
women, they move with more grace than you do, dress with better
taste, unselfconsciously feel things with a woman's natural
sensibilities that still alludes you.
Often, they are long passed the time when their sexuality was
centered on their clothes, and instead the lucky ones find themselves
in comfortable, even passionate, even if intermittent, relationships
with men or women.
Sometimes, if they are lucky, they experience the ultimate
authentication, they love and/or are loved as women. (And even
sometimes, they find themselves rolled up in a ball, under a throw,
in a window seat, crying from a heart hurt by another ...
experiencing a kind of feeling different from the way a man ever
feels and in a way that is no way distinguishable from that of any
woman, natal or transsexual.
)
I deeply admire transsexuals, the ultimate existential heroines,
women of courage, choosing to live their lives as they were meant to,
no matter what tricks nature and fate have tried to play on them.
But some few of them seem to be so unreconstructed in their
prejudices.
As an occasional poster in various tg forums, I've noticed that I've
often found myself taking a curious place in the forum debates.
Like Don Quixote charging the windmills, I champion the committed
crossdresser, the dilettante transvestite, even at the extreme, the
lowly, lonely, panty-wearing, rushed masturbator, even sad her. I
champion them all, I argue for their sisterhood in gender quandary,
for their fully legitimate, fully equal places in our community, not
more nor less, just different.
I rage against the last vestiges of class warfare in our community,
especially from the transsexuals who claim political correctness, but
can't suppress their lingering perceptions of the crossdresser as
being, somehow, of a lower order of being than themselves.
Especially when transsexuals use their perceived unique class as the
basis of their higher claim on political discourse, they insult
everyone, including themselves. (Since I am not black, maybe I cannot
feel in my gut all the ways racism is wrong; but that doesn't mean I
can't despise the stupidity of racism with all the same passion as
anyone else.) My contribution to political discourse, like everyone
else's, should be based on the reasonableness of my arguments, not on
some special class-based right.
Ironically, for these reprobates of yesterday's transsexualism, it is
their own lack of free will, their own lack of choice that they
trumpet triumphantly, that they use as justification, even to
themselves, for their air of superiority.
They are so threatened! They find the concept of choice, the idea of
fluidity of gender, not as different, but as an attack on the very
tales, tales however true or just convenient, tales they tell
themselves about their own lives. And their response to the
perceived attack is so sad, so defensive, so hysterical a distancing
of their class from all the others and, what's worse, a disdain for
all the others that's palpable … and unjustified.
In contrast, I have many 24/7, fully-realized transsexual friends on
many different points of the gender expression spectrum, from deep
stealth to in-your-face, I-am-what-I-am ... and these many
transsexual friends have no trouble calling me "sister."
But for those transsexuals who, even at this late date in the ongoing
nature-of-gender debate, those transsexuals that succumb to name-
calling, this touchy defensiveness, this distancing, this unworthy
disdain exposes a nerve of protest-too-much self-doubt that is
embarrassing in its obviousness.
Get over it girls. We're not better nor worse than you. We're just
different.
We are free. And our courage is in recognizing and acting on our
freedom … whenever it is convenient … and whenever we choose to.
Don't ever dismiss me as a "weekender." You don't know me.
Alan Barrie
Cheryl Ann "Cassie" Sander
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Everyone
Suzi September 1st, 2008 6:02 pm MDTI'm not into conspiracy theories but I do believe that lots of stuff happens because of $. Follow the money on this one and then tell me what you think?
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Life or Lifestyle?
Georgieanna Gwendolyn Gorgeous September 1st, 2008 10:54 am MDTBeing a transgender person in fact identifying as a nonop -ts: though I don't live 24/7 at this time; I really get anoyed when people referr to this as a lifesyle. In fact I feel the same way about referring to any of the various facets of the GLBT communityas a lifestyle. While I guess you could quite effectively argue that by the dictionary definiton;" the typical way of life of an invidual, group or culture;" it is such I think that makes it a vague generalization. First of all I see lifestyle as making a concious choice to be or live a certain way. Believe me I struggled for years to come to the conclusion about myself that I did. Since it took me the better part of what I hope is the first half of my life to come to terms and accept that this is who I am I do not see it as a lifestyle as much as it being my life. Yes, in the sense that I quit running from myself and accepted who I am that is a choice. I guess myarguemetn is that I did not wake u p one morning I say I am transexual today I was born this way and it has taken al this time for me tosort that out and realize it.
How does this relate tothe rest of my community? I have come to realize that anymember of the GLBT Community can make the same arguement. I do beleive for lack of a better term that this is how we are hard wired at birth and the one and pnly choice we have in this is to either accept or deny who we are. Because in the process of making the decision to accept who we are and live our lives in what we see as the correct manner we open ourselves up to ridcule, ostricism and all kinds of other negative things including being labeled as deviant or sick I do not think it is a life style as much as it is my life because it who I am. The main point I am trying to get across here is the idea that I did not just wake up one morning and say gee today I am transsexual and I woul d rather be a woman than a man I mean think about this would I really just suddenly decide to send mylife in a direction that woudl expose me to all the negative reactions that society and even family seem to have towards the idea of gender idenitity or sexual orientation?
So you see to me this is life and its my life its who I am and how I live. Undoubtedly life would have been much easier had my appearance and anatomy matched my mind and spirit and psychological state. It would have been nice to never have had to go through this self discovery and have had everything functioning in harmony. Finding myself has helped me togrow as personand now I can look at others without having to label them or prejudge them. I have become acquainted with some wonderful people that I would never have known if Ihad not had to make this journey. Until I made my journey of self discovery and accepted wh Iam Iwould have probably looked upon this as a lifestyle but to me it is my life and his is the way ihave to live it to be happy, healthy and survive. While its true that I have made the ch oice that this is who I am that was more a coming to the realization of who I have always been rather than making a decision to be something or someone I'm not. Si maybe what I am saying is that my life is who I am and my lifestyle is how I choose to convey that to the world.
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