URNotAlone

My Mother's Closet

January 14th, 2010 6:26 pm MST

My Mother’s Closet

By Candace Suzanne

Your Miss Suzi

My earliest memories of pleasure in feminine delights coincide with my remotest memories of practically anything at all. Mother was just so beautiful and she had a closet full of the most wonderful things way back in the early 1960s (which is as close as you will ever get to finding out Miss Suzi's actual age, teehee!). Precious moments were spent lying across Mother's bed each morning watching as she sat poised at her glamorous dressing table applying makeup, fixing her hair, and working her feminine magic.

We engaged in warm and casual chit chat as she worked and I took in her many beauty secrets and vicariously absorbed into my young psyche the pleasure she derived from her efforts and her satisfaction in her results each time she completed her feminine ritual. Those were OUR special times together and the,,, memories of those special times have remained vividly etched upon my brain.

When Mother had finished her daily makeup, she would slide up and garter her sheer full-fashioned, reinforced heel and toe nylons. With the sweet swishing sound of the accordion-pleated hem of her lacy slip brushing across her nylon stockings, she would step to her wonderful closet to select her dress and shoes for the day. Whether she chose a long slim wool skirt and sweater or full-skirted swirling shirtdress, Mother always found just the right shoes to match classic stiletto pumps with very pointed toes and heels at least four inches tall.

Then, with precise rhythmic clicking of high heels, she would walk briskly but elegantly toward the mirror, turn, and then looking back at herself over her shoulder turn again. The self-satisfied look in hers eyes as she vouged and modeled her day's attire, inspired me then and even to this day inspires me still. Mother would then ask, knowing full well what my, answer,, would be, "Does Mommy look pretty?" Then with a generous hug and kiss for her little one, off she would go to the office where she worked so hard to support me, her only child and my dear Nana, who kept our home and who watched over me.

After Mother had gone off to work, and with Nana busy in the kitchen, it was my turn to practice what I had learned. First, a visit to Mother's bureau drawers to retrieve lace slip, nylons, panties, and six-garter rubber girdle then on to the wonderland of her amazing closet filled with beautiful dresses and racks of neatly arranged high heeled shoes. I was in heaven with the combined aromas of leather shoes, latex rubber foundations, and Mother's perfume swirling about my little nylon-clad legs and too-loosely girdled body.

I still recall the distinct sounds of the rustling and swishing of much-too-large lingerie and the scuffing and clicking of oversized high heels on hardwood floors as I attempted to mimic Mother's modeling and vogueing, in her,, full-length bedroom mirror Satisfied, even at that early preschool age of three years, that I even though supposed to be a boy was in fact, a pretty pretty girl just like Mommy.

Throughout my life, I have had this strange reoccurring dream in which I find myself anxiously entering dimly-lighted attics, basements, and closets filled with wonderful and beautifully feminine dresses, sensual lingerie, and lots of pretty shoes. Although the settings and the contents of these dreamland wardrobes have changed and evolved over the years, I know now that my passionate and repeated reveries represent memories conjured up from the excitement of my early childhood and taboo play in Mother's feminine boudoir and in her amazing closet.

It is precisely that exciting energy and feminine sensuality that I carefully tried to recreate in my Buffalo, New York Studio and Boutique between 1998 and 2005. It was my goal to create a fantasyland atmosphere that stirs up sweet emotions of feminine, bliss at, the, first peek through my welcoming front door beautiful feminine clothing of all kinds, dresses, gowns, lingerie, wigs and high heels in a safe comfortable atmosphere. Over the years I grew into my feminine persona and gravitated away from “The Community” in new and exciting social settings and... in romance.

Over the years, I have discovered that the true essence of femininity is Nurturing and Caring… the way a mother instinctively nurtures a child or the way a loving woman sensuously and selfishlessly pleases her man or the way sisters watch out for and help each other to grow strong and wise. So much more than just the clothing, which I now know is really only an outward symbol and expression of the real feminine spirit, which comes only from within.

Hugs & Kisses, Love Suzi

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WHAT KIND OF WOMAN ARE YOU ANYWAY ??

January 14th, 2010 6:25 pm MST

WHAT KIND OF WOMAN ARE YOU ANYWAY ??

Dear Miss Suzi, I am a bit confused regarding the proper words to use when describing shemales and such. I do not know the difference between TV, CD, TS, etc. but I am an admirer of all lovely ladies and I do not want to hurt anybody’s feelings by saying or asking the wrong thing. Perhaps you can help? Sincerely, Robert, Syracuse, NY

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Dear Robert,

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful letter indeed. First of, all,,, your statement that you admire “all lovely,,,,,,, ladies,” is much appreciated because for all transgendered people, acceptance, in their desired gender roll is more important than being identified as a TV, CD, TS, TG, Shemale, etc. The goal for all of these groups is to be accepted and treated as women (except, of course, for those relatively few genetic women who wish to and sometimes do become men). M2F and F2M are shorthand for Male-To-Female and Female-To-Male respectively. It appears that M2F is much more common than F2M situations.

Transgender or TG is used to describe ALL of the phenomena of and the people who do behave in ways socially appropriate for, or believe they are members of, the opposite genetic and anatomical sex. One such behavior mightbe men wearing women’s clothes… and doing so for any number of reasons.

Wearing clothing that is socially appropriate for the opposite sex is known as crossdressing. Those who do so are known as crossdressers or, CDs,,. The Latin words for crossdressing,,, and,,,,, crossdressers are Transvestism and Transvestites (trans=cross+vestum=dress). As a, group, most people who identify themselves as crossdressers or transvestites (CDs and TVs) are men who like being men and live mostly as men but dress in women’s clothes, when they can, because they find doing so to be some combination of physically relaxing, emotionally comforting, or even sexually arousing.

They are most likely to be (but are not necessarily always) straight married men whose most frequent and greatest fantasy is to be accepted in a “lesbian” type relationship with a genetic woman. Some, however, do experiment with or prefer dating men or even other TG girls. Some TVs and CDs find out that their motivation lies much deeper than just wearing the clothes.

Transsexuals or TSs are people who believe that they are or should be members of the opposite sex. They are not satisfied with their genetic sex and sex characteristics and often, take,, steps (hormones and/or,,,,,, surgeries,) to, alter their anatomy and change their lives in order to live in the gender role that, they prefer. TSs differ from TVs and CDs in that they still feel like women even when they are naked or dressed as men. When dressed as women, they do not feel that they are crossdressing (even though they actually are), but feel that they are dressed appropriately for their preferred gender.

Those who have had Sex- Reassignment Surgery (SRS) sometimes refer to themselves as “Post-ops”. Those who are hoping to have or are waiting for SRS are called “Pre-ops”. Another group has emerged from all of this… Those who wish to and do live as women, take hormones and/or have breast augmentation, but do not wish to have their genitalia surgically altered. These “Non-ops” are often referred to as Shemales because they, as much as possible, look and live like women but still have male genitalia and prefer to keep them. M2F pre-op transsexuals are essentially,, albeit,, temporarily,, or,,,, even, reluctantly,, shemales… as long as their male genitalia are still intact.

Drag Queens are usually (,but not necessarily) gay men who prefer to be men but who dress as and emulate women for entertainment or prostitution purposes. It seems that the word “drag” is an acronym quoined by William Shakespeare who annotated his play scripts with DrAG for Dressed as a Girl. Drag is the art, the illusion, the costumes, the fantasy, and the magic of female impersonation.

There is quite a bit of overlap between all of these transgender groups and a certain amount of interchangeability and variability between the appropriate terminology as well as individual changes in “TG-status” over a person’s lifetime. That is to say… People change. This certainly adds to confusion about and even within the transgendered community and is especially confusing for the general public at large.

Regardless of labels, All transgendered people are seeking social and self,-,,,,acceptance,,,, while, being true to their, own selves. Many have lived and continue to live in shame, guilt, and fear and do not need, any further insult from others as they struggle to liberate themselves from the repression, suppression, and depression found in their sad dark and lonely closets.

So, please remember, when you see or meet someone whom you suspect is dressed in the clothes of, or assumes the role of, their preferred gender and which you suspect is opposite from that to which they were born… First of all… You do not know for sure! Nor do you have a right to know. Asking or checking are both rude and out of the question as well. A person’s genitalia are private and none of anyone else’s business (at least not until later) anyway.

And second… Good manners, political correctness, human kindness, and common decency dictate, that if someone appears to be or wishes to be of a certain gender, we should treat her with the same respect and compassion due to anyone,, who, does,,,,,, not wish, to harm us in any way,. The proper pronouns and titles appropriate for her preferred gender should always be used: girl,, lady, woman, miss, ma’am, she, her, and hers all apply.

Now Miss Suzi is going to let you gentlemen admirers out there in on a little secret. If you want to meet and date a special lady (TV, CD, TS, Shemale), forget those terms unless or until she chooses to explain the details later after a very politely and discreetly asked question or two; BUT any rudeness or reminders of her undesired or hidden masculinity (no matter how much YOU may want to get at those she-male parts right away) will only serve to leave you all alone and wondering what it might have been like to share an evening with the “woman” of your dreams.

Again, just as with any woman worth having, transgendered women desire and deserve to be treated as they wish… as women. So please do use your very best manners, warmth, charm, and romance to make her your,, special girl,,,. Both,, you and,,, she will be glad you did,!

Thank you for asking, Miss Suzi

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Upon Being Stood Up: Best Memories Never Had: A Message To Cowards

January 14th, 2010 6:20 pm MST

by Miss Suzi Miss Suzi

Upon Being Stood Up: Cowardice: Best Memories Never Had: A Message To Cowards

This essay was written FOR All the Women and Girls and Gentle People everywhere who have ever been Stood-Up, Lied To, and Hurt by someone pretending to be warm and real and sincere... But Lacking the courage to follow through on the simplest of promises or the commonest of courtesies and having NO Honor !

This message is to You Cowards.

YOU know who you are !

Best Memories Never Had: A Message To Cowards

You said you would stop by at Eight... And that I was your dream come true... One whom You Claimed to want so badly ! Making me believe that you were on your way.

So, in a girlish flutter I made preparations to be beautiful and wonderful for You. Lipstick, nylon, lace, perfume in all the right places. Thinking of nothing but YOUR pleasure. Then...

The Pain The Shame The Humilation The Waste of Time and Efforts YOU will never ever know or even have the conscience to understand and which I do not wish upon even the likes of you or upon anyone.

But you Will Suffer just the same.

You will go to your grave regretting your cowardice and the pain you caused to this one and to others so true. Your sad wasted dreams and lies will ALL die away with you and Your Fondest and Very Best Memories Will Never Be Had.

Go to your grave never knowing that which you have wanted most! On our deathbeds, fantasies do not pass through our brains... but fond Memories Do.

My tears will only last for an hour... my shame for 2 hours... and my anger for three.

But your cowardice will haunt you all the days of your life (not regrets for whom you have hurt... that would require a conscience), but for what YOU yourself have lost and will never regain.

But Please Always Remember This... Someone brave and true is getting Your Share of what You Sadly Will Never Know. Enjoy the "pix" and photos... For THEY... and masturbation... are ALL you will ever deserve or ever get ! What a pathetic shame !

So... Another Lying Gutless wonder bites the dust ! Leaving the very best of that which Could Be YOURS... to the one who has the Honor and the Courage to TAKE. But Who Is NOT... and NEVER Will Be... YOU !

Sayanara Amigo !

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FAIRY TAILS, ROMANCE, AND DREAMS COME TRUE!

January 14th, 2010 1:27 pm MST

FAIRY TAILS, ROMANCE, AND DREAMS COME TRUE !

Once upon a time, not so very far away and not so very long ago, in a mighty kingdom between two seas, there lived a maiden fair with a gentle, heart both, pure, and true, who, longed for the love and affection of a gentle knight of courage and honor and chivalrous deeds. She knew not his name nor from whence he might come but she hoped and believed and prayed and dreamed and did all, that she, could do each day in the hope that one day he might come to her, to take her hand, and to make her his own.

Early each morning she would begin the process of restoring, enhancing, and perfecting her beauty. In, her, morning bath,, every, inch of her skin was,, made soft and smooth and fragrant. At her mirror she applied her cosmetics carefully to enhance her best features and to minimize her flaws. She carefully dressed herself in lace and satin and ribbons and bows. She knew that she was not the fairest maiden in the land, but because her heart was pure and true and dedicated to femininity, romance, and charm, she believed with all of her heart that one day her unknown prince would come to her and all her dreams would come true.

Each day, when she had, done, every thing she, could think of to make herself beautiful and desirable and soft and smooth and feminine with great attention to the smallest of details, she would gaze proudly upon her image in the mirror hoping and, praying that, TODAY would be the day that HE might come and make her HIS. As each day passed, she would sit at her writing table pouring out her thoughts and hopes and dreams and prayers on paper and in notes and messages, and, poems that, appeared, throughout the land for,, all to see. She made it quite clear what she desired in a man and what a brave knight might do to have her if he so truly desired. If only one brave man would have the courage to do what so many claim to desire to do so much.

Her expectations were neither great, nor impossible, nor shallow, nor superficial in any way. She did not require nor ask for great riches or handsomeness or noble birth. Not height, not weight, not bankroll, not hairline were important to her. All she asked for,… all she desired, was a, man of warmth,, charm, good manners, honor, romantic desire, and old fashioned chivalry… for whom she was willing to gladly and freely and proudly share her most sensual favors, her body, her soul, her life, and, her love.

As, time went by, her charm, her beauty, and her name became known throughout the kingdom between the two seas. Each day messengers would arrive from all across the land bearing messages of love and desire, and, of promises, of the best, of intentions for the,, unspecified future. Oh how those messages set her heart afire! Messages that reassured her, inspired her, and gave her the strength and the courage to carry on and to begin each day anew the great task of maintaining and enhancing her fleeting beauty so that when HE might come to her, she would still be at her very best for him.

To each message that arrived pledging love and desire and devotion to her and with promises of things to come, she responded in kind with her gratitude, her images,, and her simple, request, to be brave and, to come take what the sender of the message claimed to want so badly. She did not enjoy the time spent at her writing table responding to message after message and pledge after pledge. It, seemed to her that, sitting at a desk and writing and writing and writing was more like work than romance and was a waste of her beauty and charm because for all her efforts, and for all the many promises she had,, received… her soft, perfect smooth, satin and lace covered,, skin remained untouched; her luscious red lips remained unkissed; her dreams remained unfulfilled; and she was still alone.

Then one day at Christmastime a messenger arrived from far away across the land with a message from someone who had been captivated by her images and by her poetry. The message was kind and charming and flattering and polite but not too horribly different from all of the thousands of messages she had received before. This message was only slightly different from all of, the others but oh, what a, difference it made,… Instead of using weak pathetic words like "maybe, might, someday, soon, eventually, hope to, wish to, dream of, etcetera… this message from one Sir Jeffrey, bravely, directly, and, specifically asked, ",Would you please do me the honor of letting this Knight take you by the hand this New Years Eve?" to which she most joyfully and affirmatively consented.

The very next day, which was,, Christmas Eve, there, arrived at the, maiden's door the most,, beautiful bouquet of roses she had ever seen. Oh how she cried tears of joy as she gently brushed each flower with her red ruby lips… her happy tears falling onto and rolling off of the sweet fragrant blossoms and petals. Oh what a joyous Christmastime that was. Her girlish romantic heart beating with hope and anticipation of things to come… perhaps this Jeffery was THE ONE for whom she had waited for so long and for whom she had sacrificed so much.

You cannot imagine the apprehension and trepidation, with which she, awaited Sir, Jeffrey's arrival,. She had been left standing in the lurch many many times before by the cowards and fools and scoundrels who pretended to be true but who lied and who had broken her heart and, ruined their own chances, for romantic fulfillment with her.

And then just as promised… Sir Jeffrey arrived with another single red rose in hand. She had not known he was so handsome for his images did,, not do him justice nor, did they convey, the love and affection,, she found in his eyes. He took her into his arms and they kissed and kissed and were not separated for more than a moment during the last days of the old year and the first days of the New Year. Jeffrey stood so tall and proud when she took his strong arm as they walked by the water and as they dined and as they danced and as they celebrated the New Year and their new life together. When it came time for Jeffery to return to his far off land, they hugged and kissed and she wept and cried for hours… Not just, tears of, sadness for his, departure… but tears, of great joy for the love she had found in the wonderful New Year.

When Jeffrey arrived safely back in his land, he immediately sent her a kind and thoughtful message, reassuring her of his love, and continued devotion; and she too pledged the same in return. He promised that he would return soon… and he did; and he did so often, even though it was such a long long,, way to travel... each, time with a red rose, in hand. By his bravery,, and his courage Jeffrey had taken what so many had claimed to want. By his honor and chivalry and promises kept, Jeffrey now enjoys what thousands of messages from thousands of men have claimed to desire. Because Jeffrey was brave and true and because the fair maiden faithfully believed, the two lovers now live happily ever after in each other's arms.

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SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES ?

January 14th, 2010 1:23 pm MST

SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES??

Q: Miss Suzi, What about Sex in Public Places?

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One of the key components of femininity, in my humble opinion, is the aspect of giving and sharing. Pleasing my man is so important to me. My partner is always a man who loves women and femininity. Most men love to be teased and tormented seductively. In Public is a wonderful place to accomplish this. I always insist on polite romantic behavior, hand-holding and kissing and such.

I often wear large circle skirts with lacy crinolines underneath and sometimes no panties. There is nothing like sitting on a park bench or on a picnic blanket and teasing a fella with my high heeled legs and allowing him to kiss me a bit or to caress my legs while he does so. Then I slyly mention that I am wearing NO panties. As he slides his hand discretely up my skirt I tease a bit by drawing back just a bit after he gently brushes my "girlie parts" underneath teeheehee!

At, this point, I want more kissing but I also want his hand to stay up under my skirt too. I have to be careful because when all this works out just as I wish, I am likely to moan out loud... so caution is in order! What I have just described here is the most exciting thing in the world to me. When a man is brave and cooperative and all this comes to pass, that is when I take him home and make damn sure that ALL of his wildest dreams are fulfilled because he has already fulfilled mine.

The first time I ever aroused a man in public was when I first came out. I was wearing a tight red sweater dress and he was a big strong black man who kept looking me all up and down and repeating "Oh my God, I can't believe it" over and over again. I let him kiss me in a doorway outside a club where we met... as he kissed me, I felt his hardness growing against me. I was in ecstacy.

That was the first time I ever touched a man.s penis. It throbbed and he smelled like leather. Ok Ok I gotta stop now, oh, my... I will tell you the rest of the story some other time. (I know just what to do with one of those!) Kissses Byeee Your

Suzi

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HOW TO GET LUCKY WITH WOMEN AND SHEMALES

January 14th, 2010 1:19 pm MST

HOW TO GET LUCKY WITH WOMEN AND SHEMALES

by Miss Suzi

Dear Miss Suzi, I have been fantasizing a lot lately about crossdressers, transsexuals, and shemales. I have never, met, one before, and I, would like,, to get,, involved with, one, sexually for, the first time. The idea of kissing a penis is very exciting to me. I have responded to personal ads on the Internet and in magazines but so far I have not had any luck meeting one. Am I doing something wrong? Jack, Rochester, NY,

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Dear Jack,Yes, you are. And I might be able to help you dear, but there are a few things you must know first. These are things that will improve your chances with both natural born women and with transgendered women. Unfortunately, most men just do not get it. They frequently behave in ways that actually prevent them from achieving their wildest fantasy with a woman of exceptional quality.

Believe me, there are some gorgeous shemales and women out here... who remain alone... NOT because we don’t get all kinds of opportunities, but because we are often insulted and put off by the ways some men think of, speak to, and treat us. It really is very, simple,; but 99,% of,, men, who want a, particular, woman (,,either GG or TG,), really screw it up, for themselves and end up making love with a magazine or a computer screen when perfectly willing and able women are quite readily available.

If you have any amount of sensitivity or enlightenment, I, might be able to help you. But I have spent hours and hours trying to explain to some men what women really want... and most still just don’t get it. So, they either end up alone, or with a prostitute, or with some hairy pathetic desperate man in a dress, instead of with the woman of their dreams. The one who really understands these things will be quite busy on Friday night… and I won’t be home either, if you get my drift. Are you with me so far, Jack?

The most important thing you need to know is that we are WOMEN, LADIES, GIRLS... first. NOT... TV, CD, TS, TG, DQ, Shemale etc… but WOMEN. We put our hearts, and souls, and fortunes into being WOMEN (at least as much as anyone with a Y-,chromosome can,,)… but, NOT into, being, TVCDTSTG, shemales, etc,,. Your, fascination with a penis is fine,... BUT if you focus on that without responding primarily to the femininity of the WOMAN, you will be rejected, scorned, and giggled about when the girls talk about you later. We call guys who focus on the, penis “cocksuckers and penis chasers”... and we avoid them like the plague.

Sure, you might be just crazy with desire to touch or kiss her penis...(teeheehee!) And you just might get to… if you play your cards right, Jack… BUT if SHE finds out that THAT is your MAIN goal... she will be insulted... and you will never enjoy the fullest completion of your wildest desires. It is better to respond primarily to her femininity and the qualities that she has in common with women (her eyes, her legs, her breasts, her smile, her taste in clothes).

Even genetic women resent being wanted for just one or two of their parts. Any woman, whether GG or TG, wants to be wanted for ALL of her parts, and, feminine,, qualities… the, WHOLE,, package… not just, her,, genitalia. Your motivation for wanting, her is very important to her and it behooves you to desire her for the reasons that she wishes to be desired for, that is, if you really do want to get lucky with her at all. You like pretty eyes and legs and breasts and smiles,, don’t you, Jack?

Phrases like "never had one" "always wanted to meet one" are rude and insulting. This means you are thinking in terms of: TV, CD, TS, TG, DQ, Shemale, or Penis... like a hunk of sirloin steak... NOT about the woman, the girl, or her femininity. Every woman of quality wants to be wanted for the “right” reasons… her beauty, her charm, her femininity, her mind, the power of her womanhood, and all of her other most feminine qualities. Responding appropriately to these is the best way to go, which is what really turns HER on… and gets YOU lucky! You do ultimately want to get lucky, don’t you? You’re not just teasing yourself, are you, Jack?

If you,, told, your wife, or girlfriend,,... ",You have legs, like a,, man, I am so turned on"... she would, throw you out on your ass with a lousy “compliment” like that. So reminding a "special" girl of her masculinity in any way is equally insulting.

You might consider yourself to be “bisexual” and in fact, you just might be, Jack… But telling her, that devalues her femininity. She wants to be wanted by a man who loves WOMEN and who knows how to treat a woman right. The facts that you are bisexual and that she is transgendered might be quite true, but she does not want to hear about it. Just as an overweight woman does not want to hear that she is fat or that you want her because she is obese (even if you are really wild for fat women), because it ends up as kind of an insult in her mind anyway.

Do you see? A compliment inappropriately delivered is really no compliment at all; in fact, some compliments end up sounding like insults to the person receiving them. “Baby, you have a big, penis,,!” just does not cut, it,. Even, "Hey,, baby, you',re hot,,!" may be okay but is not as gratifying, to her as hearing words like "You are beautiful… I would love to take you out… May I kiss you?" One mindset gets you nowhere at all; and the other gets your wildest dreams fulfilled.

Warmth, charm, good manners, romance, gentle compliments, thoughtful, little gifts and notes, more kind compliments, affectionate hugging, kissing, hand-holding, and caressing are what both genetic women and transgendered women are looking for and are what will ultimately get you lucky… and the wildest kind of lucky that you can possibly imagine... if that is what you really want. If you want any special lady to be “not so ladylike” for a while… Treat her like a Lady… It works!

I hope that this helps you a bit, Jack. I will be glad to teach you more if I am not just butting my head against a stubborn/unyielding wall of whatever it is that keeps many men (But Not All) from experiencing what they, claim to, really, want. I am quite, glad, to help you, to,, understand,, these things, Jack… if you really do care,... darling. Just treat her like the woman of your dreams and then your wildest dreams will all come true. Good Luck!

Thank you for asking, Miss Suzi

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