URNotAlone

My Mother's Closet

January 14th, 2010 6:26 pm MST

My Mother’s Closet

By Candace Suzanne

Your Miss Suzi

My earliest memories of pleasure in feminine delights coincide with my remotest memories of practically anything at all. Mother was just so beautiful and she had a closet full of the most wonderful things way back in the early 1960s (which is as close as you will ever get to finding out Miss Suzi's actual age, teehee!). Precious moments were spent lying across Mother's bed each morning watching as she sat poised at her glamorous dressing table applying makeup, fixing her hair, and working her feminine magic.

We engaged in warm and casual chit chat as she worked and I took in her many beauty secrets and vicariously absorbed into my young psyche the pleasure she derived from her efforts and her satisfaction in her results each time she completed her feminine ritual. Those were OUR special times together and the,,, memories of those special times have remained vividly etched upon my brain.

When Mother had finished her daily makeup, she would slide up and garter her sheer full-fashioned, reinforced heel and toe nylons. With the sweet swishing sound of the accordion-pleated hem of her lacy slip brushing across her nylon stockings, she would step to her wonderful closet to select her dress and shoes for the day. Whether she chose a long slim wool skirt and sweater or full-skirted swirling shirtdress, Mother always found just the right shoes to match classic stiletto pumps with very pointed toes and heels at least four inches tall.

Then, with precise rhythmic clicking of high heels, she would walk briskly but elegantly toward the mirror, turn, and then looking back at herself over her shoulder turn again. The self-satisfied look in hers eyes as she vouged and modeled her day's attire, inspired me then and even to this day inspires me still. Mother would then ask, knowing full well what my, answer,, would be, "Does Mommy look pretty?" Then with a generous hug and kiss for her little one, off she would go to the office where she worked so hard to support me, her only child and my dear Nana, who kept our home and who watched over me.

After Mother had gone off to work, and with Nana busy in the kitchen, it was my turn to practice what I had learned. First, a visit to Mother's bureau drawers to retrieve lace slip, nylons, panties, and six-garter rubber girdle then on to the wonderland of her amazing closet filled with beautiful dresses and racks of neatly arranged high heeled shoes. I was in heaven with the combined aromas of leather shoes, latex rubber foundations, and Mother's perfume swirling about my little nylon-clad legs and too-loosely girdled body.

I still recall the distinct sounds of the rustling and swishing of much-too-large lingerie and the scuffing and clicking of oversized high heels on hardwood floors as I attempted to mimic Mother's modeling and vogueing, in her,, full-length bedroom mirror Satisfied, even at that early preschool age of three years, that I even though supposed to be a boy was in fact, a pretty pretty girl just like Mommy.

Throughout my life, I have had this strange reoccurring dream in which I find myself anxiously entering dimly-lighted attics, basements, and closets filled with wonderful and beautifully feminine dresses, sensual lingerie, and lots of pretty shoes. Although the settings and the contents of these dreamland wardrobes have changed and evolved over the years, I know now that my passionate and repeated reveries represent memories conjured up from the excitement of my early childhood and taboo play in Mother's feminine boudoir and in her amazing closet.

It is precisely that exciting energy and feminine sensuality that I carefully tried to recreate in my Buffalo, New York Studio and Boutique between 1998 and 2005. It was my goal to create a fantasyland atmosphere that stirs up sweet emotions of feminine, bliss at, the, first peek through my welcoming front door beautiful feminine clothing of all kinds, dresses, gowns, lingerie, wigs and high heels in a safe comfortable atmosphere. Over the years I grew into my feminine persona and gravitated away from “The Community” in new and exciting social settings and... in romance.

Over the years, I have discovered that the true essence of femininity is Nurturing and Caring… the way a mother instinctively nurtures a child or the way a loving woman sensuously and selfishlessly pleases her man or the way sisters watch out for and help each other to grow strong and wise. So much more than just the clothing, which I now know is really only an outward symbol and expression of the real feminine spirit, which comes only from within.

Hugs & Kisses, Love Suzi