URNotAlone

self-acceptance

January 23rd, 2008 1:16 pm MST

It's damaging to the spirit to look at yourself and ALWAYS be unhappy with what you see. 

If not most then certainly many of us fall into the lookist trap of comparing our appearance against our sisters.

I began thinking about this subject when a 6'5" tall, 250 lb. tgirl-friend declared me to be "so incredibly lucky" because i'm 5'4" tall, 150 lbs. All I see when I look at myself in the mirror is the big arms, lumpy muscles and square jaw of a man. And here's someone else who truly envies me. So I have to ask myself why I can't focus on the positives that she sees instead of the negatives that I see? Comes back to that old quote about being one's own worst critic. 

As in every other aspect of life, attributes are distributed normally (bell shaped curve), so there's probably someone more attractive/less attractive, richer/poorer, skinnier/fatter, whatever/whatever not than you are. (Can you tell I'm a statistician?)

OK, I'm not the most passable tgirl on the planet, but I'm not the least passable either. I'm not the most attractive, and I'm not the least attractive. 

But it's not my physical attributes that cause me to be disheartened. It's the fact that I (and you too) spend far too much time comparing ourselves against everyone else. And it's only natural. Everyone does it.

Q: How many GGs look like fashion models? A: Not many! It helps me to keep that in mind.

It also helps to remember that I frequently make myself unhappy by comparing my looks to someone appreciably younger than I am. That's not fair to me. So me: STOP DOING THAT.

We're all built differently and some of us are lucky enough to have perfect skin and perfect teeth and be built to feminine proportions. But I gotta remember that bell shaped curve and be happy to be me.

So I'm going to renew my efforts to accept me exactly as I am and to revel in my CeeCee-ness. 

[4 comments]

past profile text

December 9th, 2007 5:07 pm MST

This set of blogs are primarily those that get moved out of my URNOTALONE profile, which is now restricted in length:

May 4, 2007

I've received criticism from GID/transition oriented sisters re. my comments of 2/14, saying that "bar hopping, bed hopping trannies" reflect poorly on them. But guess what? They have the same rights, even if the two needs are in conflict.

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February 14, 2007

On being part of the trans community:
- There is a philosophical and physical continuum between "entirely male" and    "entirely female".
- All people (both those labeled as trans and those who aren't) find their own place on this continuum.
- I embrace everyone's right to stop at whatever comfort place they choose on the continuum.
- I utterly reject the notion that there should be a hierarchy ranking people on the basis of their chosen place on the continuum, their desire to transition (or not), whether they are pre-op, post-op, or non-op, or their passability.
- Not all passable tgirls are transsexual and not all transsexuals are passable. However, we are all people and should be allowed to earn respect on an individual basis.
-This online community is comprised of many diverse groups Let's try to treat each other with respect and as equals.
- I realize that human beings are hardwired to be tribal and exclusive rather than inclusive in their orientation towards others. But we've also been given the ability to rise above; to behave with nobility of spirit. Let's try to do so.

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11/24/2005 HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

I promise, promise promise to update this profile right after the holiday. In the meantime, just a few things to say.

First, I made my debut in October - went to "PookieMania" at Jacques in Boston wit' da girls. Two nights in a row. As Junie would say "it was *EPIC*". Special thanks to Junie, Tiff, and Rene for taking care of me and making sure I didn't get into trouble. Thanks to all the girls for sharing this tremendous moment with me.

Last weekend, I met some of the local CT girls at Club 251 right in New London. Had a wonderful time - thanks Jenn, Karen, and Rene!

Well that's a little about what I've been doing. It's my first update in months and months.

If you want to know who I *WAS* then look at my guy self URNA profile - "Inscrutable". It's novella length, although it too hasn't been updated in eons. But it does tell many things about me that haven't changed and won't. Also the story of how I became *ME*!

Oh yeah.... one other thing.... why never any new pictures of me????? Because since that first batch, one of which is on my profile, they all suck rocks! Time for a makeover and get some decent pics taken??? I think perhaps it's that the pics have always been taken during the course of one or another of my first 3 outings, during which I've been incredibly nervous.... And it shows. There's an easy cure - go out more!

Talk to you all again soon. Remember, I promised. xxxoooxxx.

CC.

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Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass 

 

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