URNotAlone

self-acceptance

January 23rd, 2008 1:16 pm MST

It's damaging to the spirit to look at yourself and ALWAYS be unhappy with what you see. 

If not most then certainly many of us fall into the lookist trap of comparing our appearance against our sisters.

I began thinking about this subject when a 6'5" tall, 250 lb. tgirl-friend declared me to be "so incredibly lucky" because i'm 5'4" tall, 150 lbs. All I see when I look at myself in the mirror is the big arms, lumpy muscles and square jaw of a man. And here's someone else who truly envies me. So I have to ask myself why I can't focus on the positives that she sees instead of the negatives that I see? Comes back to that old quote about being one's own worst critic. 

As in every other aspect of life, attributes are distributed normally (bell shaped curve), so there's probably someone more attractive/less attractive, richer/poorer, skinnier/fatter, whatever/whatever not than you are. (Can you tell I'm a statistician?)

OK, I'm not the most passable tgirl on the planet, but I'm not the least passable either. I'm not the most attractive, and I'm not the least attractive. 

But it's not my physical attributes that cause me to be disheartened. It's the fact that I (and you too) spend far too much time comparing ourselves against everyone else. And it's only natural. Everyone does it.

Q: How many GGs look like fashion models? A: Not many! It helps me to keep that in mind.

It also helps to remember that I frequently make myself unhappy by comparing my looks to someone appreciably younger than I am. That's not fair to me. So me: STOP DOING THAT.

We're all built differently and some of us are lucky enough to have perfect skin and perfect teeth and be built to feminine proportions. But I gotta remember that bell shaped curve and be happy to be me.

So I'm going to renew my efforts to accept me exactly as I am and to revel in my CeeCee-ness.