Lauren Misty Falls
"is buy curious, are those stilettos on sale?"
Journal Entries for Lauren Misty Falls
an embarrassing period
April 1st, 2007 1:48 pm MDT
well, it was that time of the month. so i went down to my cousin's "miss hugo's house of hilarity and literary adult bookstore/tg pharmacy" to purchase some timely supplies and reading material. in the check out line i noticed a new product, the "always-fun" tampon/vibrator. so i picked up a case of 100 just to give them a thorough try. i chose the medium size. rushed home and inserted one. well, it swelled and i contracted and it's stuck, in and on. it must of been a mismarked jumbo size. my neighbors heard my screams (of joy) and called the emt's and the fire dept. in my delirium i heard one fireman say they would need the "jaws of life". this was totally embarrassing.
horny, but not for ewe
February 18th, 2007 5:52 pm MST
raise your hands or your hoves if you read articles in the sj merc or time mag telling of research that says 7 to 10% of rams are gay (8% time), 1 in 5 are bi, 15% asexual. just a slight majority are straight. this is a big problem for ranchers. apparently not for the rams though, they don't care if they are "breeders" or not. the researchers found the "sexual dimorfic nucleus" in gay rams look more like a ewes. in other articles i have read, researchers found gay male brains look like female brains in certain areas. this will take some wind out of the sails of the religious right that say it's a choice and can be cured or changed. maybe their churches will set up counseling for the gay rams. of course this may have expensive RAMifications as there are many other species that have the same percentage of gay,bi,asexual animals in there ranks. however the study found that the rams didn't act girly. hmmmm. is there gender disphoria in animals ? how do you test for that? is tgism in humans nature or nurture. got any ideas?
i must, i must, i must increase my bust
February 6th, 2007 10:46 am MST
hello, there was an interesting article on the web about young boys with gynecomastia, caused by using hair products with tree tea oil or lavender oil. it's rare, but these oils can cause breast growth. other foods that contain plant estrogens can do the same thing. there are plant estrogens in whole grains, fruits (pomegranate),seeds (sunflower), beans, soy( tofu-yum), yams, coffee, licorice (eeeew), beer (burp-excuse me),and herbs like, oregano, nutmeg, tumeric, thyme, goldenseal, cumin, camomille, extract of black cohosh. there's a plant that is grown for medicinal purposes and sometimes inhaled that works that way too. there's more to good food and shampoo than u know sometimes.
low voting explained by my uncle hazel mcnuht
November 5th, 2006 5:11 pm MST
dear luaren i gave u a 1 in jan. because, i don't have a life ! i gave u a 2 in feb. because, i had a life this month, but it sucked ! i gave u a 3 in mar. because, u had way too many 10's i gave u a 4 in apr. because, jealously overcomes me when the pharmaceuticals wear off. i gave u a 5 in may because, your very pretty for your age, but i have low standards to live up to. i gave u a 6 in june because, it is personal and i want to win this month. karma ? what karma ? u mean carmann ghia ? karma sutra ? what ? i gave u a 7 in july, because my parole officer "henrietta low botomy" says "i must tell you truth even if it hurts". i gave u an 8 in aug. because, i'm praying less at the porcelain alter at the church of st. bacardi and ur looking better, honey. i gave u a 9 in sept. because after the third anger management class, i can forgive u for being taller, younger, and prettier than me. i did't give u a 10 in oct. because, 10's are overated don't u think ? even miss america doesn't get all tens. ok, ok, i'm signing up for that advanced anger management class. see u soon dear. love, your uncle hazel
post dramatic tress syndrome
September 27th, 2006 6:58 pm MDT
pop quiz no. 2 what face shape is most ideal ? 1 round 2 oval 3 square 4 long 5 diamond 6 heart 7 trapezoid (fun houses only) if you picked oval go to the head of the class who says the oval is ideal ? 1 hairdressers 2 photographers 3 make-up artists 4 plastics surgeons 5 patrons of hooters 6 my uncle brunhilda if u picked 1 thru 4 ur both cute and smart why is the oval shape ideal ? 1 most balanced 2 rolls better than the square 3 softer lines 4 fewer angles 5 looks like a nascar track 6 i don't know- i'm blonde if u picked 1,3, and 4 your good, very good what can i do to balance my wide face 1 use a side part ( center of the pupil ) 2 use full or partial bangs 3 use waves or curls ( softens features also ) 4 use shorter lengths 5 buzz cut it - i'm a diva i can wear anything if you picked 1 thru 4 your a very clever girl what can i do to balance my long my face 1 use center part (mostly for those in their 20's or younger ) 2 use wispy bangs if any bangs at all 3 use straighter styles 4 use longer lengths 5 use pinkish mohawk to balance your brazilian bikini wax if u picked 1 thru 4 again ur smart for such a young thing hair should balance with 1 face shape and size 2 checking account 3 body size and heighth 4 7" wedgies 5 bust and booty size if u picked 1 and 3 u can go to recess early special circumstance styles for the trapezoid faces 1 blue beehives fm any star trek episode 2 distract eye with low cut tops and show lots of leg 3 asymmetrical styles with ponytails on top of the head 4 get out of the fun house NOW 5 commit "hairy cairy" 6 non of the above if u picked 6 u must be in mensa all face types can be beautiful. most people are blends of types of face types. remember center parts are hard to wear and less flattering, unless u are 20 something or younger, a diva, or a supermodel. one last thing, a wig with a center part worn to far forward will look like a wig, and u don't want to look like my uncle brunhilda. sorry uncle.
truth in labeling or who am i ?
September 26th, 2006 7:15 pm MDT
some people know me as alpine skiir,scuba diver,hang glider, cyclist, windsurfer, surfer, runner, roller blader, river rafter, camper, uber couch spud. cook, gardener, vegetarian, chocoholic. friend, lover, spouse. geekette environment, ecology, and nature lover some people know me by the movies, plays, music, dances, art, concerts, exhibitions i see. my car, house, income, job. my philolosphy, experiences, travels my politics, spiritual beliefs, race, education. heighth, weight, hair, age sex, gender, clothes. iq, eq. to some people i'm just one of my parts. to some people i'm the sum of my parts. to some people i'm more than the sum of my parts am i what i do, feel, say, know, believe, think ? it's impossible to label a human being as just one thing. we are all so much more. lets celebrate.
getting jiggy with your wiggy or helpful hints 501 thru....
June 4th, 2006 11:35 pm MDT
pop quiz hair is to your face as ? 1 a mirror is to a cd 2 7" platforms to a working girl 3 a frame is to a picture 4 a bra is to dolly times up ! no it's not dolly. it's no. 3 silly if your eyes are green or blue and your skin tone is pink your hair color should be ? 1 pink 2 chartreuse 3 greenish blue 4 ash blonde, or ash brown, or blue red 5 lavender,turquoise, and magenta it can only be no. 4 if your eyes are brown or blood shot and your skin tone is peach your hair color should be ? 1 your too drunk to care 2 the color of bacardi 3 brown with red, or blonde with gold ( not real gold ), or orange red 4 all the above of course ur rite no. 3 if you got all three rite then u know that your wig color should match the "color family' of your skin tone, natural hair color,and eye color. ok study hard and be ready for the next mom or pop quiz
faking it and loving it
May 29th, 2006 4:51 pm MDT
breastfast it takes some faking to be a gurly gurl. breast enhancers increase size 1 to 2 cup sizes. full silicone beast forms. silicone breast implants. dolly here we come. i rarely use my breast forms now. sometimes i use the breast enhancers. mostly i fake it with a v.s. 34b slightly padded t-back push-up bra. my spouse says i have more on top than some of the girls at the gym,kind of sad. but most of them are probably faking it too. the no. one selling bra in the u.s. is the push-up bra. i'm not a fan of big breasts, it's all a matter of shape and proportion. of course, a little cleavage is fun. good breeding one of my ts friends was concerned about her shoulders in relation to her hips. so we keep her hair below her shoulders to break up the line. i have the same concerns. i wear my hair at shoulder length or longer. i also fake it by adding a little padding at the hips and tush.. again it's balance. most gg's have hips that are wider than their waist and back. the ideal is the 70% ratio. my hips are naturally close to that (10" difference), and with a little padding they fall well into the 70% ratio and i get a good balance with my back. this 70% ratio comes fm studies about what men find attractive in female bodies. apparently the ratio lets men know if a women is going to be a "good breeder". a wide pelvic bone means ease of delivery when having kids. even women recognize this in other women and find the 70% ratio denotes a good figure. well i've got the pelvic spread, now all i need is a womb and a few other parts and i'll be set. tight genes most men don't have that ratio( something must of been a little loosey goosey with my genes) and some women don't either. so another way to fake it, is to use a waist cincher or corset. i use a lite corset, it's a very sensual experience. it takes in your waist, restricts your movements, gives u a constant hug, improves your posture, makes you always aware of your bodies bounderies and movement, gives u a sense of feminine vulnerability,similar to wearing 4" stilettos or skin tight jeans. u can't ask more fm one item of clothing. but there is more, it gives u a fake waist too. well heeled women appropriated heels fm men centuries ago. men used heels to keep their feet in the stirrups while riding. i think women liked the heighth the heels gave them. faking heighth. today there's not much sexier than a pair 4" stilettos on a gg. but for a tg like me at 5' 11" and with a hair style that adds 1 to 2 inches, i become amazonian. i'll have to rethink flats. maybe i should join the wnba, do they allow u to play in 4" heels ? anyway feel free to fake it for fun and femininity.
ever hear a hor mone
May 18th, 2006 2:03 pm MDT
yes hormones and genes are powerful players in our developement, but on the other hand genes are at the mercy of natures whims it seems. genes can lift out of sequence and flip over and plop back down where they started. they can also lift and float down the sequence and plop down in some new spot. nobody knows what this might do to our orignal blueprint. plus there are a lot of switches, that can turn genes off and on. and some that can amplify or reduce the genes effects. in some cases this may have an effect on our hormones. at the monterey bay aquarium in california, u can usually find a sheepshead fish in the kelp forest tank, that is CHANGING ITS SEX ON ITS OWN. it seems, that when there aren't enough males in the school an adult female takes it upon herself to become a full functiioning male. many other fish can do this, some or all wrasse's can. who knew fish could be so accommondating ! hormones over riding the the basic genetic code of the fish. just like all humans, we start out as girls in the womb and either stay girls or get a testosterone bath at about six weeks and become males, sort of a one way street though. no humans start out as boys in the womb and get an estrogen bath and become girls. and so with fish it appears that most transition fm female to male. but there is hope. in an article in "caifornia wild" fm the california academy of sciences, there is a ribbon eel that changes fm male to female as it ages. when it gets to about 3 ft. it changes color and grows female sex organs. how is it an adult female or male fish, its blueprint fully carried out, can be triggered to change its sex on its own ? pretty impressive. some animals in the ocean are intersexed. the sea cucumbers are naturally intersexed and form sex rings on the bottom of the ocean during mating season. one end of the cucumber is male and the other is female. they hook up to opposite ends of each other and the orgy begins. intersexed animals in the ocean are not uncommon. so nature is full of diversity, sex changes and intersexuallity have been part of nature long before we arrived. this is normal in nature an so it is for us. take care, be kind to yourself and others. so, if i start now to visualize and meditate on those old fish genes we carry around in our genome, how long will it take me to transition into a luscious female ? :)
womb service
May 15th, 2006 2:42 pm MDT
for me being tg always felt right and natural,plus it didn't harm anyone. i never had any purges.however i knew at an early age that this wasn't acceptable behavior. now, my family knows all about it and accepts it, friends too. heres a little biology that might help others. fm conception to six weeks i was a girl. so were you. its was a glorious six weeks,as u can imagine. unfortunately i don't recall a thing about it. well maybe it wasn't a full six weeks, because at first my cells were neither boys or girls, but soon they made up their little minds and i was a girl. as all human cells do, they always become girls first and start developing girls parts.at about the end of the six weeks a choice was made for me, either continue as a girl or become a variation of a girl called a boy. why do i say boys are variations of a girl, because in the womb we develope labia,(in case we stay a girl) which turns into a scrotum for the testes in case we go for the boy thingy. we also develope a clitoris which becomes a penis if we get that testosterone hormone bath at the end of six weeks. and best of all, we each get a set of mammaries, for guys also known as daddaries :) if we go the boy route. our daddaries can turm into mammaries again if we have gynecomastia, males with breasts. and with hormones we can get full size and functioning breasts capable of lactating. what fun. so we really have to thank all the girls for making us possible. thanks girls. this hormone bath is where all the trouble starts. if the timing is off or the amounts or if we have something like p.a.i.s,"partial androgyn insensitivity syndrome", our cells won't let enough testosterone into the cells. so our little girls bodies and minds won't get fully masculinized. more trouble still is "complete androgen receptor defect"( i'm not sure i'd call this a defect) i mean who hasn't wanted to reject all those testosterone charged pick-up lines ? i'm sure our cells get tired of getting hit on all the time. in this case anyway, an xy boy grows up looking completely female. hormones are produced by the genes. hormones carry out some of the genes blueprint for out little lives,but in this case the job can't be completed, because the cells say no to all the hormones pick-up lines.so even if our genes say xy or xx if something doesn't go right a male can be feminized and a female can be masculinized. and as we know there is a large spectrum possible. so, no choice here, it's done before we check out of the womb. so please don't feel guilty. it's been a gift for me personally and has made me a better human being.
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