URNotAlone

an embarrassing period

April 1st, 2007 1:48 pm MDT

well, it was that time of the month. so i went down to my cousin's "miss hugo's house of hilarity and literary adult bookstore/tg pharmacy" to purchase some timely supplies and reading material. in the check out line i noticed a new product, the "always-fun" tampon/vibrator. so i picked up a case of 100 just to give them a thorough try. i chose the medium size. rushed home and inserted one. well, it swelled and i contracted and it's stuck, in and on. it must of been a mismarked jumbo size. my neighbors heard my screams (of joy) and called the emt's and the fire dept. in my delirium i heard one fireman say they would need the "jaws of life". this was totally embarrassing.