URNotAlone

Update May 8, 2006, Lana's first time in public

May 10th, 2006 2:49 pm MDT

Dear URNA friends, well, I finally went out for the first time in public as Lana.  Wow, I can't believe it!  It was exactly as I had hoped.  My heart was racing inside and I was so excited that I could hardly contain myself.  Of course, I was also very nervous and forgot to wear any mascara!  Yikes!  Steffanie T was so wonderful to take me out.  After she helped me finish my make-up, we went out about 5:30p.  With the sun shining brightly, I thought it might be a mistake to go out in daylight for the first time, but Steffanie said that I would be fine and helped me to relax as we drove to our first stop on our shopping trip.  She also said I looked like a bookworm with my glasses on--I agreed and was thrilled to go out looking like a librarian. :)          I wore a brown knee-length corduroy/suede large-pleated skirt with nude pantyhose and wedge sandals (they were so cumfy and easy to walk in all day and night!), and a yellow boy's shirt.  I only have dressy and/or evening women's clothes, so this was the best I could do for casual wear until I could make some new purchases.  What made me feel so wonderful is that the skirt is a size 8 and it was too loose even with the shirt tucked in and even without wearing a waist cincher or corset.  I guess that's a good problem to have. :)  I love that skirt, so I guess I need to find a size 6.            Anyway, back to our public venture... We went to two thrift stores and found a bunch of clothes to buy.  I was hoping that no one would pay EXTRA attention to me, and fortunately, that's what happened.  The late afternoon and evening we were out was so wonderfully uneventful. :)  I was trying to be conscious of who was looking at me, but since I didn't stare at anyone, no one seemed to give me a second look.  Steffanie was so good to stay close by and she did all the talking when we encountered anyone, so no one heard me say anything.  Of course, we weren't in the middle of a crowd and no one really approached us or got too close to my face (thank God!), but I felt empowered nevertheless.  I was ecstatic on the inside and felt like my heart was going to jump out of my body any second, though you couldn't tell by the stoic look on my face.            After shopping, Steffanie and I ordered sandwiches at Wendy's drive-thru and ate in my hotel room together just after 9p (I wasn't quite ready to eat out as Lana yet).  At 10p, Steffanie had to go, so after thanking her for taking me out this first time in public, we hugged and said good-bye.  I had all these new clothes on the bed that I just had to try on, including a couple pairs of jeans, a casual pink velvet top with pink crinkle skirt, a black dress (can't have too many little black dresses!), and some dressy skirts.            Being en femme from the mid-afternoon to well after midnight was exhilirating.  It was so much fun to just walk around outside, get in and out of the car, and sit and act like a woman for so many hours, and Steffanie was the perfect shopping partner.  If anyone approached me, she was ready to run interference. :)           Next time, I will not forget to wear mascara!!  And I need to find some casual earrings, maybe necklace and bracelet.  I would have applied nail polish, but we were running late and both agreed to skip that this time.            We took pics while we were out, but only a few came out ok, though I keep wishing I had not forgotten to apply mascara!  Oh, did I say that already? :)  At least I have a record of Lana's firt time in public. :)  I also took pics in the new outfits and I'll try to sort them out and post a gallery soon.            Thank you for reading about Lana's first time in public.  If any of you has not ventured out yet, I hope you will be brave and try it, but please go out with someone who you trust and will be by your side the whole time.  You have heard many say that the trick is not necessarily to pass (though I'd be lying if I said that this was not a goal for me), but to not draw attention to yourself.  One key is to find casual clothes that GGs would wear in public and try to blend in and look as natural as you can.  Of course, we want to look good, too. :)  If anyone had checked me out and said, "I think that's a guy, but he/she sure looks good," that would have been wonderful, especially if it took them a while to figure me out.            So, thank you for reading about Lana's first time in public.  I can hardly describe how it felt to be feminine in public like that, but I hope you sense what I was feeling.  Now that I've taken my first baby steps, I look forward to the next time I go out as Lana.            Hugs, Lana