URNotAlone

You are hair

February 24th, 2006 1:33 am MST

Ya know, back about twenty years ago when I first started going out (it was really 1998, so not 20 years ago) I noticed something right away. This whole CD thing didn't feel complete unless you had some seriously feminine looking hair on your head, and no non-feminine hair on the rest of you. Thus, short hair and a beard was right out. Variations in between didn't seem to work very well, either: muttonchops, or a little aryan brush, or the stupid web programmer look. Facial hair don't work with this. Please, please, if you dress, and you've had a beard all your life, stop making excuses. Go shave it. It's JUST FACIAL HAIR. YOU WILL NOT DIE. Shave off your beard, get a good pro makeover, and enjoy the full monty for a change.

So, anyway, there were a few websites about that were "top 10" sorts of collections of girls, and I'd look at those and wish I could be in the top 10. All the superstar model types had a couple of things in common (implants?), but the one factor that seemed to set them apart was they had natural hair... or a really fantastic wig. "Gotta get yerself a good wig," I said to myself. I did use a 3/4s wig for a few years, and then had a crazy idea to grow my hair long. Oh yeah, the bane of male existence, long hair. That little experiment went alright until I was in the middle of the ugly period, where it's not long enough to do anything? My wife's hairdresser came over to do her hair, and then commented on mine. "Oh no, you're not cutting my hair," I said, thinking of the terrible things that could happen. "I'm not going to do anything terrible, I'm just going to trim it," said Ed, and that was my first time getting a haircut with a longer than short do. A year later, and I was at Ed's place confessing to him that I liked to wear women's clothes, and could he possibly style my natural hair with layers? Oh, yes, he could, he assured me, not even phased by the crossdressing. And that began a 6 year relationship that continues to this day. Ed makes my hair beautiful. And he knows I love my hair.

See, it's a nice red color. I got beat up for having red hair when I was a child. Don't stand out, no matter what, but when you've got red hair, and not even a good orangy color, but a faggy strawberry blonde, you've got troubles galore from the bullies. But who's laughing now?