URNotAlone

Being Me

January 25th, 2008 6:31 am MST

  For the past 16 days, I had to make some concessions in being 'me'. My gg's family came to visit us which, in all fairness was very nice, but, poor Jill had to spend this time in the closet and Jill definitely does not like it in there anymore. lol    

  Let me say right here, taking the motherinlaw shopping was no treat. Oh no, she was fine as a shopper, it was me! I was ready to ask her several times what she thought of this dress or that top, on me! lol Or how about that pair of killer shoes, think I'd look good in them 'mom?' "Isn't that bustier simply gorgeous!!!!" Let me tell you, that was one of the hardest things I've had to do in awhile.  lol Each time we went shopping, I had to mentally assess myself to ensure I was totally drab. Talk about feeling weird! It still amazes me she didn't question the smooth skin on me, particularly the legs, but she didn't. Oh yeah, I tried letting the hair grow the first few days after their arrival, but I couldn't stand the picky feeling, so off it came. lol A girl has to set some limitations right? 

So yesterday, after delivering the inlaws to the airport, I stopped to do a little shopping for more shoes(go figure), rushed home, and Jill was finally back, yes!

  I must say, I cannot express how much I missed the feeling of being me, especially the feeling of wearing my attached breastforms. Everything just felt so normal again; the small things like the taste of lipstick, the swaying of my pierced earrings, the sheer stockings, the tenderness of the materials of the clothing. It all just made me feel so wonderful again, so, me.

  So now I get to spend the next 5 weeks before returning home being myself again. I just hope when I do return home, I will be able to mentally accept the restrictions placed on me again by the redneck population I thrive within. This visit by the inlaws has made me realize just how far I have progressed with my gender expression and how much I adore being me.

Hugs, Jill