URNotAlone

2008 bluless holiday

December 30th, 2008 8:31 pm MST

Well I have just about made it. The holidays are close to officially over and I have not sunk into the deepest darkest blue funk of the year. I may have had it going on all along the past 4 months I don’t know, there has been a steady stream of daily napping/ staying up until 1 AM or later and still up fairly early. Can’t sleep? Impossible, have enough psycho meds to knock out a Clydesdale I take at bed time- oh I suppose I could wake up just as soon as the last molecule of meds is processed enough to let my depression driven insomnia over power the drug induced sleep/ nah……

Just the same I managed to keep busy with the work search, the silliest busy work and planning and executing dinner for twelve on Christmas. Mom is basically having me be the chief cook and bottle washer/ house keeper/ and everything you can get out of me. She has been on vacation for months and I have enjoyed cooking again for the first time in forever.

My normal new years eve is in bed by my self with Lonesome Dove and a Papa Johns Pizza. That’s a 6 hour movie and I am free free bumble bee.

This year is still up in the air. I may have my brother to hang with. Eat the pizza, watch a movie or two, belly ache about life’s BS. // I may go out if he doesn’t come over // I may not. Nothing much of anything,,,, not tripping on any of it. Have just become numb to it all I guess but nothing is bothering me this year. It’s ok.

Then come the new year who knows. I keep putting one foot in front of the other until?

Hope it works that way for you too. Best of the best to you.