URNotAlone

Lust in Translation

May 8th, 2007 10:57 am MDT

I date men and enjoy it very much and I have recently learned a lesson about our male admirers that I want to share. A man I have had an on again, off again relationship with for several years recently told me he was wearing panties often and having fantasies of attempting to dress entirely as a woman and would I help him. I welcome friendships with tgirls, but his interest seemed forced, almost desperate. He also was living with a woman and considering breaking up and to my surprise said he wanted to deepen his relationship with me. Then he asked if I would leave the coffee shop where we were sitting and get a motel room with him that very afternoon.I’m not easily shocked but this caught me off guard. I like this man and have known him for nearly 8 years. He had never expressed an interest in dressing before or related any childhood adventures with dressing. Regardless, he had become convinced he should dress. I declined his offer that afternoon and over several emails and another meeting the following week it dawned on me that he had come to see my life and lifestyle as liberating at a time when he felt trapped in his relationship and career. He was losing his freedom of expression. I came to symbolize a new freedom. He was feeling unattractive; my appearance was appealing.The episode ended awkwardly. We haven’t spoken for two weeks, which I regret. What I now know however, is that when the pressures in his life intensified this winter, our playful friendship became powerfully attractive, so much so that he imagined it could become transforming for his life as well. Beware the man who wears panties, my good friend Suzi has warned me, and perhaps she is right. This episode has also shown me that the men who pursue us are as fragile as we are. And it has shown me that we shouldn’t underestimate the power and appeal of our lives girls. We live in a precious middle ground that many people, men and women, want