Chris Ian
"Happy"
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"Happy"
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
Page generated in 1.69 seconds
Purple America
Dan™ November 7th, 2008 3:03 pm MSTFor those of you who still think that the election was close, take a look at these two maps. One shows the counties in their actual size shaded blue or red based on what the population voted.
This map shows each county with a size set by the population. It looks a lot less red.
This is far more of the mandate the George W Bush claimed four years ago, this is a landslide. For those of you that fear a socialist government, let me just state the following:
1. Socialist nations like Denmark, Normay, Sweden and Holland have:
I've heard a lot of people claim that Obama was a socialist. He's not. I wish he was, but I would have been no more enthusiastic of his candidacy.
Be that as it may, why would socialism be so scary anyway?
[10 comments]
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday
Dan™ October 20th, 2008 1:50 pm MDTHalloween has always been my favorite Holiday. Godless heathen that I am, there aren't many holidays that don't have the flavor of one of more gods tainting them. That's all right. I love Solstice decorations, and even some Christmas decorations (I usually have angels on my tree). Easter is fun because of coloring eggs and candy. I guess you could say that I enjoy some holidays that have been co-opted by religions in spite of that. Halloween though has always had a special place in my heart. There isn't a related religious holiday to be seen. It's all about dressing up and having fun. A final harvest festival to usher in the cold snowy months. I just got news that is going to make Halloween even better for me. I just got a notice from the Clerk of the Court of Common Please, Franklin County Ohio, Domestic Division. After six long irritating years of playing silly buggers in the court system, the judge has finally lost patience and is going to grant me an uncontested divorce! My children and I haven't even SEEN their mother is eight years! I always celebrated Halloween in Boston with the drag queens and transvestites. It's always a really fun time. I've been planning a "Bachelor Party" to coincide with my divorce. I think this is going to be an annual event! Anyway, I'm excited. The only fly in the ointment is that I am supposed to be in court at 9 am and my flight for Boston is scheduled for 1:20 pm the same day, so I may have to see about pushing it back. Either way, I'm pretty excited!
[2 comments]
The Candidates, simplified
Dan™ October 9th, 2008 11:12 pm MDT[2 comments]
Open Casting Call for Gothcoming 2k8 (Chas Ray Krider)
Dan™ August 29th, 2008 12:37 pm MDTChas Ray Krider (http://www.motelfetish.com) and Daniel Goode (http://www. retrokitten.com) will be holding open casting call interviews at The Invisible Studio for Gothcoming 2k8 (Friday Oct 3rd, 2008).
Chas will be interviewing for assistants and performers for an installation piece the night of Gothcoming.
Daniel is interviewing for Box Dancers and general assistants.
Wednesday August 3rd
2PM - 5PM
7PM - 9PM
The Invisible Studio
219 King Ave
Columbus OH, 43201
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=219+King+Ave+Columbus+OH&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=44.069599,68.203125&ie=UTF8&ll=39.990454,-83.012202&spn=0.010456,0.016651&z=16&iwloc=addr
If you are unable to attend the open casting call, you can contact Chas or Daniel directly to set up and interview.
Chas Ray Krider 614 327-2793
Daniel Goode 614 546-9117
View Larger Map
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Say Hello to Roxy
Dan™ August 17th, 2008 6:44 pm MDTToday, Lynne and I bought the most adorable Chihuahua. We found her through http://petfinder.com. She was from a mother that was rescued from a puppy mill.
She is quite possibly the most adorable animal that we've ever seen. I'm really glad we are able to give her a good home. Our cats of course don't seem really thrilled yet, but I'm sure they will come around.
It's been a good weekend. Things aren't turning around yet, but progress is being made in all of the right directions.
http://gallery.me.com/dan.frederick/100169
[2 comments]
Making Memories
Dan™ August 16th, 2008 3:36 pm MDTWhen I was five years old, I over heard my older foster sisters (10 and 12) talking about going to a "Teddy Bear Picnic". I was so excited. I imagined that the Teddy Bears came to life and played with you. I begged them to let me come along but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, I resorted to the tried and true method of little brothers everywhere and implored my foster mother. She told my sisters that they HAD to take me and they relented. Or so I thought...
With my radio flyer tied inexpertly to my tricycle (which was still wobbly from my failed re-enactment of the Monkee's opening credit trick where they rode mopeds down stairs) and my favorite Teddy Bear snuggled securely for the ride across town, we pedaled to the corner of Weir Street.
At the very moment that we reached the corner, my sisters, with some pre-arranged signal, sped away on their two wheeled bicycles.
I yelled and I cried, but the tears made it impossible for me to see where they went.
I rode my tricycle down the alley behind our house and crawled into the wagon with my Teddy Bear and cried and cried and cried.
From that point on, I hated them and I never forgave them for depriving me of my chance to go to the Teddy Bear Picnic.
Fast Forward 33 years, and my lovely girlfriend Lynne informs me that there is an opportunity for us to volunteer with Nationwide Children's Hospital at the Teddy Bear Safari at the Columbus Zoo. You'd better believe that I jumped all over that.
This is probably my favorite volunteer gig to date. Seeing children of all ages with their teddy bears. Eyes full of wonder as they help their furry little friends get check ups and vaccinations.
Truth be told, I wasn't ready to quit when my shift was up. They had to tell me repeatedly that I could go, and finally, Lynne had to drag me away. I would have stayed all day if I could.
I didn't get to create many happy memories when I was a child, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let another child miss out on that opportunity.
To commemorate this awesome day, I bought a new teddy bear, and I even got her a friend. Without out further ado, let me introduce you to Flo (IceFlow) the polar bear cub, and her best friend Xavier the cephalopod.
I've been rather lax in posting and I'm a little behind so here are photos from our trip to Cedar Point last weekend.
[photos]
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Untitled Post
Dan™ July 17th, 2008 10:29 pm MDTNate, Lynne and I drove to Cincinnati for dinner with Deb and Tammie. Jasmine was going to come, but Rocky was sick. I understand completely.
We had a lovely meal at a Thai place. We were completely full and getting ready to drive home. We were in fact in the car, when Lynne suddenly shouts "KITTENS!"
Playing around the dumpster, were five of the most adorable kittens you will ever see. We went over to the dumpster while they scampered around. On the side of the restaraunt, someone had erected a little shelter and their were clean plates scattered around.
While we were investigating, the owner of the restaurant and his daughter came out. It seems the mother had abandoned the kittens (or perhaps she was hit by a car or something), and the kittens had been motherless for about five days.
The owner, and elderly Thai man had been trying to get them into shelters, but Cincinnati apparently has weird rules and they hadn't been able to find people to take them. (Go ahead and say it, an asian place where kittens weren't being used as food...) anyway...
We decided that we need to rescue them and at least bring them to a shelter in Columbus.
I currently have five kittens playing in my basement.
Here's the deal. We'd like them to find homes. The Shelter is OK, but ideally, if there is someone out there that would like a kitten, now's your chance. FREE to a good home.
I've posted a photo gallery to weaken your will.
Seriously, just go an look. What could it hurt? ehh? ehh?
[cuteness]
We are taking them to the shelter tomorrow around four pm, so you don't have a lot of time to decide. Seriously, they can't be more than four or five weeks old, they've already had rough lives. Wouldn't you like to give them a happy home?
[1 comment]
Help me get another facial!
Dan™ June 12th, 2008 11:43 am MDT[clicky-click]
For some reason, gay people and their friends are often in the service industry. Bartenders, waiters, stylists, airline attendants. You don't take advantage of these relationships per se. It just makes your life easier.
One of my "Shopping Friends" Kelly, works at Phia in the Short North. Last week, I took k8e in for her first "Big Girl" salon visit and Kelly harped on me to come in. I cut my own hair, I do my own eyebrows, I really don't need to go to a salon...
or so I thought.
I went in this morning and got the "New Customer" Discount. $25 for a cut, eye brow wax, facial, hot towel and scalp massage.
WOW. I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. Seriously. My best friend Michael always went to Salons and I chided him for wasting his money. I never understood. I would get a manicure while he slipped away into the bowels of the salon. He was always perkier and happier, but I thought it was just because he had spent a lot of money, not because he had been pampered. I get it now.
So here's the deal. Call Phia. Ask for an appointment with Kelly, and tell them that Daniel Frederick referred you. You'll get $10 off your first visit, and more importantly, "I'll" get $10 off "MY" next visit.
Seriously. I need to do this once a week. I feel like a million dollars. This needs to be part of my Friday ritual.
Please please please. Help me get a facial.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, I still giggle when I say the word "facial".
[3 comments]
Trouble is HOME!!!
Dan™ June 11th, 2008 4:45 pm MDTWe had almost given up hope. My phone rang again this afternoon. Pete, the cook at Victorian's Midnight Cafe had adopted a stray from behind the bar last Thursday. It was Trouble!
He's home safe and sound. He has a brand new collar, fresh pet grass and more hugs and kisses then he probably wants.
That stupid douche. When I get done crying, I'm going to kill him!
Lynne and I are in Michigan for her nieces graduation party this weekend, but we'll be home Sunday.
HOORAY, the TROUBLE CAT is home SAFE!!!!!!
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Things We Lost in the Fire
Dan™ June 9th, 2008 7:33 am MDTWhen I was about fifteen, I discovered the incredible joy of cross-country bicycling. For four years, I competed on an amateur level in Centuries and Double Centuries all over the mid west (a century is 100 miles). I was good, never great, but I did it because I loved the feeling of getting out on the road with the wind in my hair. It's one of the reasons I started shaving my body, and still do to this day.
In 1989, I entered the Marine Corps, and except for occasional stints with mountain biking, I never really got back in cycling.
Thirteen years ago, after seven different knee surgeries, the Navy finally decided they couldn't fix this broken Marine and gave me a medical discharge. Over the years, I've tried running, swimming, pilates, a dozen things. For some reason, I never got back into cycling.
This last week, I've been walking about three miles a day looking for our missing cat Trouble. I've spent each day sweating and generally feeling awful, but each day seemed a little easier.
Today at Target, something got into Lynne and I. I can't say what it was, but we suddenly found ourselves packing two brand spanking new Schwinn bicycles into our car.
After about an hour of tinkering and adjusting our bicycles, we heading out for the bike paths by the Olentangy River.
I don't remember feeling like this since 1989. Wind rushing past my face. Leg muscles pumping as I shitfted gears and climbed a hill. The smooth effortless thrill of pushing myself faster and faster.
I've found something that I lost. I can't believe that I didn't miss it. I'm not going to give this up again. I'm not going to ever give away something that makes me feel this good again.
[1 comment]
Gay Leather Bar + Karaoke = AWESOME
Dan™ June 4th, 2008 11:20 am MDTMy friend Chris is running Karaoke at EXILE on Wednesdays. I didn't make it last week, but I'm going tonight. I'm really not sure why every single Karaoke DJ downtown is one of my friends, but I blame Jasmine.
It gives me a chance to try out my awesome new leather chaps that I got for $60 in Lancaster. Who knew there would be such awesome savings out in the sticks!
We are probably heading over around 10:30 or 11. Exile is located on 4th St between 1st and 2nd Avenue. The bar used to be called Patrick's.
I used to go to Exile all the time, but over the years, too many memories built up and I couldn't go in without crying (shut up Jasmine). Remember, I'm not a goth. I'm a gay leather power bottom. I only started frequenting the goth scene because I needed a place to go where my investment in clothes wasn't going to be wasted.
If you want to come along, I'm getting a crew together. Come with me and experience my roots. It will be a walk down Amnesia Lane.
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The Best Deep Dish Pizza You Aren't Eating in Columbus
Dan™ May 22nd, 2008 11:12 am MDTI've been craving Chicago Deep Dish Pizza for a while. Lynne took me to Pizzeria Uno over by Tuttle, and it was good, but not great. Then Sarah told me about Fabian's on High Street. I've driven by this place a dozen times and hadn't thought twice about it. Some people have a preference for the style of Pizza. New York Style, Chicago Style, Midwest Style (which is apparently small, tasteless and cut into fucking squares). I tend to like it all. Good New York slices of pie can't be beat, but sometimes, you just want a nice stuffed deep dish Chicago Pie, and Fabians has it. Seriously. I haven't had a deep dish pizza this good since I was last in Chicago. And apparently no one knows about them. The place was mostly dead. Some regulars at the bar and maybe two other couples eating pie. I actually had a chance to talk to the Chef. I complimented him on his pie and told him I would tell everyone I know, which is why you are here now If you love Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza and need a good local place, go to Fabians. If you've never had it but are curious, get your butt there. Seriously. It's a bit more than regular pizza, but you can generally only eat two pieces and that means left overs. I'm eating a slice right now. MMMM. It's just as good as it was last night. So get your fucking asses there, try it out. If you like it, make sure you tell EVERYONE you know. I can't always drive to Chicago for good pie, and now I don't have to!
[4 comments]
Blast from the Past
Dan™ May 21st, 2008 8:43 am MDTMy 20 year High School Reunion is coming up (yes, I graduated when I was 8. Shut up). Anyway, I was wandering around the reunion website and I stumbled upon my 5th grade self.
Seriously. I don't even remember this one. 5th fucking grade. Sheesh.
My best friend from Elementary School Julie Blosser, and my best friend from Junior High School, Beverly Farmer, have convinced me that I should go to our reunion.
Get this. It's a kegger in a field. Seriously. It's August 2d, so I still have time to back out. I still have this nagging feeling that next year, there may be a memorial float for me in pride.
"Beaten to death by red necks"
[1 comment]
Just Testing
Dan™ April 29th, 2008 11:26 am MDTMaking some major changes to the site. Why does IE 6 have to suck so much?
[2 comments]
Expelled the Movie
Dan™ April 25th, 2008 9:28 am MDTThe nimrods from "Expelled " have a MySpace page. They were actually dumb enough to put up a poll "Should the theory of Intelligent Design be taught in schools?"
Please go vote and let them know that you think.
http://www.myspace.com/expelledthemovement
[3 comments]
Get a Mac!
Dan™ April 10th, 2008 7:20 am MDT[9 comments]
Wonderful News!
Rhiann Richards March 28th, 2008 11:02 am MDTMy wife knows about Rhiann now. She is supportive and will behelping me learn much more about rhiann and how to be rhiann. I am so happy we were able to talk about my wanting to dress and her willingness to help me. she truly is the most wonderful, exciting, and lovely woman.
[2 comments]
Easter Eggs!
Dan™ March 21st, 2008 10:42 pm MDTYou might ask yourself why a godless atheist would paint Easter Eggs. Let's face it, nothing about the Easter tradition has ANYTHING to do with JEBUS. Bunnies, eggs, chicks, plastic grass, chocolate eggs.
I take a perverse satisfaction in being able to celebrate a "high holy day" that has no trappings of the religion that claims it. Sort of like xMas but better!
Anyway, Lynne and I stayed in tonight to paint Easter Eggs, snuggle, drink and watch movies. Tomorrow night is the monthly TParty at the Pyramid Club. Since pOutland stopped Karaoke on Sundays, it's my favorite night.
[photos]
http://gallery.mac.com/dan.frederick/100062
[2 comments]
Arthur C. Clarke dead at 90
Dan™ March 18th, 2008 8:15 pm MDTGoodbye my childhood friend. You made me think about the world. You made me wonder. You made me thirst for more. I still re-read the paperback worlds you took me too, dog eared from their years in my pockets. At your feet, I met others. Asimov, Heinlein and through them, Galileo, Copernicus, Newton, Darwin, Einstein, Hawking and more.
You contributed more than stories. You made three generations of us dream. You opened the world to my questions.
I will never leave the legacy to the world that you did. In many ways, my legacy IS your legacy.
I would say that the light of the world is a little dimmer without you but that would be a lie. It shines brighter than ever thanks to people like you.
[3 comments]
All my profiles
Ralene Danielle March 15th, 2008 6:08 am MDT2007-03-03
Well, I took anther one of those major life steps today. I came out to a friend at work. It must have been the eclipse or something. She was the one who’s wonderful ear rings inspired me to get mine. Dear Jane I can never even begin to tell you what you mean to me and that you are totally the only first one I could tell about Ralene. For 48 years I have lied to everyone mostly myself. You have made me feel so wonderful with your acceptance.
2006-11-28Something wonderful happened this weekend. I finally told my first family member (after my wife and son). It was my favorite sister. She is older by 12 years. We were all at her house for Thanksgiving. My sister and I left to go to the post office and we had my coming out conversation. She was surprised and said she had no idea I felt this way. She said this was the best time I could have told as she had just watched a tv show on Transitioning. I love her more now and she loves me for who I really am.
2006-08-13
If you have never chatted which someone you want to know for the rest of your life you are just not doing something right. I have people in here I want to know and met and will have in my heart forever. Thanks URNotAlone for the happiness I could never find anywhere else. Carol I wished I would have met you sooner. Carmen you are the prettiest one I have gotten to meet. Mal you are the finest friend I could ever have met. Diane you are the strongest I have ever met. And Skye I dream every night of the first time we get to meet.
2006-06-26
Well my friend from my tg group took me back to that same bar. It was so different. Really just like the first time. I danced and made some wonderful new friends. I even walked in a used the Ladies Room. It was defiantly getting back up on the horse. There were far fewer people there this time also. I am sure it was some kind of work party I had wandered into and that was why I got the reaction I did. The fun nest person my met was an 87-year-old gentleman who used to be a dance instructor and roller-skating pro. He could out dance Michal Jackson. He taught me to slow dance. This was 2 weeks ago, and this last weekend I brought my wife down there to meet him and some of the others. I was in guy mode but I told them all I was really Ralene and that was fun too. I want to thank all of you who read my profile and I want you to know I read yours. I just can’t say enough wonderful things about this chat room and all of you wonderful people. Having you all in my life makes all of this so much easier. Oh and if you didn’t know I got both my ears pierced and I just love that.
2006-06-04I got an education Saturday night. After the TG meeting we went to Chile's like normal, it is aways fun to go there. Then everyone was just calling it a night and not doing anything after that. I had shaved my legs that day for the first time in months (was growing it back for wearing shorts this summer). I had planned to shave them on that day for a couple of weeks, so there has been some pretty great anticipation. After the last meeting we went to a TG friend bar and I looked like crap, so this time I tried extra hard. I had my clean oiled up bare legs in my wonderful short denim skirt and new pink/purple tight top with my favorite bouncy bra. I picked a place I had been to before (a bar in a nice hotel that seamed friendly that time I went before). I should had read that it was way to crowded and not gone in to the bar. But I was just to interested in going in no mater what. Well the music did not stop but everyone in the place stopped what they were doing and watched me walk in. I was not familiar with the new layout. The place had no empty tables as I walked all the way to one corner of the place. First drunk guy who stepped in front of me said his friend, who was also very drunk also, wanted to dance with me. I just smiled and said not just now I wanted to find a place to sit and kept going. When I got to the end of where I could go there was one last table that was empty but it still had glasses on it and it was so far in the back I really did not want to sit there. I stood there for only a moment and decided it was not the right place to be. I started to take the very same steps back out when halfway out a guy ran straight up to me, looked me eye to eye and then freaked. He said out loud "No WAY" held his hands up in front of him like he had run into a glass window or force field. I kept on going for the door and was sure everyone who wasn't looking at me was now. I made it out just fine but the lesson was learned. 2006-05-07Most times you are to say something about yourself in this profile, but for now I want to say some things about a friend I have in hear. Her name is Skye. We met while chatting on a favorite subject if you know me you know what it is). Since then we have traded mail, email and many pictures (she is very good at Paint Shop Pro). She has put Ralene in some of the most wonderful places that I am not able to go (YET). The gifts we have shared come striate from the heart. I feel we are sisters who have just never met in person yet. Someday I truly hope we meet and get to share that big hug we always get each other in chat. I so hope everyone finds friends in here that you never stop thinking about. My list is too long to tell all of you how much I love you and think of you and keep you in my prayers. Skye sent us (my wife and I) and silver watch and pendent set. We keep the watch set to London time so I feel like I am closer to her. It is so fun to tell people why my watch is so far off (to feel like I am not so far away from her). I hope you all don’t start chatting with her now that I have told you what a wonderful person she is. Not really, Skye is the best thing to share with the world and I am so glad we get to chat. 2005-12-17We had the most wonderful time this Saturday night. My TG group meeting was a party at one of the members’ home. It was the first time my wife and Ralene were ever seen in together in public.
I got up early on Saturday, like I always do, showered and was getting ready to have a day of being Ralene when I got a phone call. It was a couple of sister friends who knew I always got up early on the week ends and went out for a car ride and they wanted to join me. We met and took my car and went to a coffee shop for some fuel for the day. Then I took them to my favorite place up at Lucky Peak Reservoir. It was cold and windy so we just sat and talked for a while.
After I dropped them off back at their car I called my wife to see if she wanted breakfast. She was surprised that I would stop at our favorite breakfast burrito fast food place (Bad Boy Drive In). She was so happy with breakfast, which was a plan I had for the whole day. I got back into guy mode and we went shopping for a new outfit for her to wear that night. We went to Macey’s and got her a lovely sequence top and new black dressy slacks (size 6 much to her delight). We found ourselves up on the 3rd floor (larger lady sizes) and bought me a killer jean jacket with a fun fur collar. Then it was off to the shoe store for some new boots. She hadn’t had a new pair of boots in we didn’t know how long. The black ones we got were just perfect and she really loved the way they fit and looked.
The party was still on, I had been so afraid she would back out, but she did not. We both took showers and took turns in front of the mirror. That was so fun. It was the first time we got ready to go out together at the same time.
Renee’s party started at 7:30 and we got there a little after than. We were the second ones to arrive. Everyone was so wonderfully nice and my wife had a great time and because she did so did I. She was 1 of 3 GG’s who came. It was fun for her to finally meet other’s who were cd, tg and ts and whatever. There were about 20 people there all together and it was a great time for everyone. A lot more people showed up than there are in our group but everyone knew someone that was there.
I hope and think she is going to be a lot more open to going out with me as my female self. At least I sure hope so. 2005-12-09What a WONDERFUL day today was! I took a day of vacation, got and dolled up and went all day shopping. It really is the first time I as Ralene, have ever done this. I have been out in public lots of times but this was different. I talked to everyone in every store I went in. The first thing I did when I got up this morning was hopped on line to chat for a quick little while. I am a real chatter mouth and spent way to long on line cause I love to chat especially when I have something else I need to do. Anyhow after a wonderful long shower and great shave I got all dolled up and my first stop was the coffee shop for double cinnamon latte’s. They were so busy at 8 am; there was no place to sit so I got them to go. I took one home to my wife and she was so surprised to hear about my plans. My next stop was Pay Less Shoes. They did not open till 10 am and I had to sit and wait in the car for a while. When they did open I was the only one there for the first half hour. It was a woman who opened the store and I was glad for that. She was wonderful and kept checking on me to see if I needed any help. I wanted some women’s running shoes, as all I have are heels and boots. I found the perfect pair; they were mostly pink and white with killer silver lines all over. The other pair I picked were some black flats with very little heels. I was there for over an hour and it was so fun just getting to try on so many different shoes and sizes. The running shoes were 10 ½ wide and the flats were 8 ½, why so different I do not know. Next I stopped at the Pleasure Time shop. That was an experience for sure. I wanted a new toy if you know what I mean. I got one, a purple one if you are interested Larry. They sure had some big ones if you know what I mean. Next stop was home cause the latte was working and I had to go pee. From where I went to a thrift store to see what they had and shopped thru the whole store but did not buy anything. Next I went to Rite Aid, a large drug and all kinds of stuff store. I spent about an hour there walking up and down all the ails of makeup and shopping with all the other ladies. That I will never forget. Everyone was so nice and I am not sure if they knew. I got a couple of big Reeses peanut butter cups there and they were the best I have ever had. Next stop was Sally’s Beauty Supplies for what ever I could find. I got some of the longest nails I have ever seen. My typing will be impossible when I have them on. Next I went to ShopKo, another big store like Fred Meyers only no food. I spent about an hour in the bra department looking for just the right one. I got a 38 double D, hopping I could have a little more bounce (if you know what I mean). I love it but I think maybe a 40 D would do more of what I want. Oh well I guess I will have to go shopping again. I picked out another purple top, lots more makeup, and a box of Hershey’s Pot of Gold Almond Caramel Clusters. I also bought my first fashion magazine People Stylewatch Holiday 2005. Next stop was this fun little condom store we have call the Rubber Rainbow; some for my new toy. The gal in there was so fun. Finally the last stop to get the first and finest hamburger I have ever had. We have this owner run hamburger stand called Chow Now that has the best bacon burger you could ever find. This was one of the best days I have ever had and I just wanted to share it with you. 2005-12-05Things are better. But I am not sure what the future holds. I don't know what or how to make things right. I have always been happy being both sexes. Stay tuned. 2005-12-01I want to thank everyone who replied. I am not sure what to do next. I am still and always will be Ralene as much of the time as I can be. If and when I talk to my sister is still to be figured out. My son and I have spoken many times about what the situation is. He tells me it is not really anything to do with Ralene. He does worry about me getting hurt by non-tg friendly people and wants me to be very careful about who I meet when out, but does not want me to stop going out. He says his problems are more with the kind of person he is and doesn't like the way he takes things out on me. Now I am sad about that. We will work it out for sure. My wife have finally seen that this is not just a crazy little fad I have had all my life and that I am just a cd. I am not sure what i am, but these last 2 years have been the best of my whole life. She is very afraid of me coming out and going full time. We have talked about it alot lately and I am sure she knows it ain't going away. Thanks again for letting me the part of this family. rr 2005-11-23Ya I really need to talk to someone. Last night we (my son, my wife and I) had it out. Or at least they did. I have wanted to tell my sister about my being TS for quite sometime (all my life in fact). When I told them I wanted to do that this weekend they both got very upset. They started in with feelings I never knew they had. Apparently we are not on the same page about Ralene and my future. Neither one of them wants to be exposed as being related to me if I am outted. My son said he would have to sale everything, quit his job and move away. They both were yelling at me and were very unhappy both together. They fueled each other. I finally just went to bed and said I would take care of every thing tomorrow. Now it is tomorrow and I don't know what I am going to do. I love been Ralene, it is the real me. They see it as something else and I don't know what to do.
These last 2 years have been the best of my life. It all started with the online chat room and all the wonderful friends I now have. I want so badly to be myself and be accepted as the person I really, really am. The last thing I want to do is hurt the 2 people I love the most. The next last thing I don't want to do is put Ralene back in the closet. Have I said I don't know what to do?I pulled all my pics down and see what the hell good that does.I love my sister and I know she loves me and would love to be on my side of all this but they (my family) do not want another person to know. I thought they knew more about why I am Ralene and not that it is something bad. To them it really is something to be a shamed of. 2005-10-14 I can only hope you get all get the opportunities I do. Last night my wife and I are talking about jeans and stuff and she says I want you to try on my pants.Poof she undoes her'z and tosses them to me. So I am pulling them up and I go well you should try my killer jeans on. Poof... pull... pull...and then we are standing there in each other's "killer" jeans. I am just happy the hook and zipper worked. She grabs the belt loops and pulls her's (MINE) down past her knees. Do you have any idea what I am talking about here? When we bought my killer jeans she could not have put them on. 4 short months later and little miss "29 fucking inches waste" (sorry for the spelling... it is all attitude) peel's them down to her ankles and with this shit-eating grin. I am thinking, "Why did I ever come out to her." "I don't need this." We are 28 years married today". Am I the only one here that adds a year every time I talk about my wife? (If that was really true I am sure I would be over 10,000 years old!) AS ALWAYS "DON'T F......G TRY TO HAVE SEX CHAT'S WITH ME" "I AM NOT INTERESTED""OK" 3/26/05Today would have been my mother's 84th birthday she is not hear to some but is here to me happy birthday mom My son just took these pictures of me if you would like to see more please check my yahoo site So far in 2005 this is the very best thing that has happen to me. I hope all is well with youRR1/3/05This is the beginning of my second year here. I don't know how it can get any better. I have met some of the most wonderful Darlings (and you all know who you are). Thanks for making 2004 my best year yet. And I hope we have an even better 2005. As always I am >>>>>NOT IN TO SEX CHATS 12/30/04Sometimes you have to fight with a friend to know that they are a friend. I am rewriting my 12/28/04 entry. 12/28/04Monday 12/27/04 was good day. It was my last vacation day of the year and started very well with me all dolled up and going out for a cinnamon latte at 7am. It was great and my second time out in greater down town Boise. It is a coffee shop called the "Flying W" and it is tg friendly. RR and ps I am still NOT in to trolls!!! 12/28/04Monday 12/27/04 was good of day. It was my last vacation day of the year and started very well with me all dolled up and going out for a cinnamon latte at 7am. It was great and my second time out in greater down town Boise. It is a coffee shop called the "Flying W" and it is tg friendly. When I got home I was still pretty excited and got right on here to spend the rest of the day chatting and having fun. I got challenged to turn the rating on on my profile (I have not wanted to do this since they started it - not that there is anything wrong with doing it - it just isn't for me). I have been pretty happy with my own self-rating but thought what the heck. I went out and picked what I thought were my prettiest sexiest pics to put up (stacking the deck for competition). I had a few pictures that I have only shared with friends and had open the public a few times. They are my black bustier pics that I am very proud of. I thought long and hard before making them. I wanted some very sexy pics that would show just how feminine I could be. When I got the chance to go over to my son's house for a first time photo shoot, he took them. Well when I put a couple of them up for the rating thing; the email I got from the person who talked me into doing the whole thing really took me back. I was told: "Put some clothes on! You don't need to use that picture to get a good rating. :-(". At first I didn't think anything of it but then after chatting with this person some more I began to feel they were dirty and nasty. What really hurt was that I gave this person the permission to make me feel this way. I was very proud and loved those pics and to have someone from in here, who I trust, make me feel this way was unbearable. I know they were just trying to help but it was more like being backed over by the ambulance. I will never say anything bad about anyone's pics. They are too personal. They are the proof we exists. For the 100's who have told me "Those are great" I let one tell me they weren't and I WAY let that get to me. For the last 2 days I have wondered if I even wanted to share any of my pics. I made them for me and maybe I will just keep them for me. Well as you can see I have decided to just go back to being me and sharing with all who want. The only thing is if you don't like my pics don't look at them. RR and ps I am still NOT in to trolls!!! 12/20/04Saturday 12/18/04 was another one of days I will remember for the rest of my life. I got to take and large suitcase of Ralene's stuff over to our son's house along with my camera. It was the closest thing to a real photo shoot I have ever had. It was wonderful. My son took over 300 pictures and they all fit on one of those memory stick things. After about 3 hours I had only gotten threw about half the clothes I had brought. We were both tried and so I guess I'll have to pack them for next time. After the photo shoot we played pool and he fixed dinner. It was so great to be out the house as Ralene and to be totally accepted as her. He was having other company at 6 o'clock so around 4:30 I packed up and left for home. But I didn't want to go home (after having a couple of Zimas during the day) I was ready to go see what the local gay bar looked like. I had called there earlier last week to ask if they had a TG or CD night and the guy said sure - EVERY night so come on down. So at about 5 pm I, as Ralene, went out to a bar for the first time in Boise Idaho. It is called the Emerald Club (formally the Whiskey River Saloon). The people there were nice and I only had one drink cause I was just there to check the place out for next time. I sat at the bar and played a video game and just had a ball. For those you who have never gotten to go out my heart goes out to you. For all my life I have just been happy staying in the house, with a few late night and early morning car rides and going out for a drive on a couple of Halloweens. But this year from having gotten to know so many wonderful people from here, I just had to make a move. Which is the biggest and toughest question my son asks me: "Why do you want to go out in public?" I don't really know. But I can tell you I love it. Before I went out I talked to several others who go out a lot and they all said it was very addicting and they sure were right. For 43 years I was happy to stay inside but now I have had I taste of out doors and just won't ever be the same. Tuesday 12/21/04 is my one year anniversary of having a profile here at URNotAlone and I can't tell you all how much you all mean to me. Thank you all for everything you do. What a great bunch of people I know here. 12/14/04Yesterday, no this whole last weekend, was another one of those best days of my life days. On Monday I got all dolled up (in my new old navy purple sweater and black mini with matching purple eye shadow and killer purple lip stick) and went shopping at my favorite wig shop (my only wig shop). I had made this appointment last week and have been anticipating it ever since. It is the only shop I have ever been to as Ralene. They are so nice there and make me feel great. I spent over 2 hours trying on wigs and having them take a few pictures. My wife really liked the first wig I got there and wanted one the same color only very short hair. For all the things she has bought me over the years I so wanted to pay her back and this was the best place I could do that. Out of all the ones I tried on - 2 spoke to me. I couldn't make up my mind so I bought them both. At this shop they named all their wigs; Pammy my first, is a nicely long bronze brown one, these next 2 were called Sandie, a short marble brown (which was exactly what she SAID she wanted) and Sky, a short nutmeg blonde (to die for). When I got done and was leaving I called her on the phone to tell her I was on my way home. She said she was just getting ready to leave and go return some things we bought for me that didn't fit (from my first shopping trip the day before where we bought only stuff for Ralene). I told her "No wait for me to come home and I'll drive you to those stores." She said ok. This was the first time she and Ralene would be seen out in public. I was so excited. When I got home I was wearing Sky and she immediately fell it love with it. I did look hot (please see pic). "That is just the one I wanted", she said. We hoped back in the car and we were off. I drove all over town and smiled and looked right at everyone. I didn't get to go in to any of the stores but it was still a lot of fun sitting in the car putting makeup on in the mirror and watching people walk by and not "making" me. This is all pretty small potatoes to most of you but to me it very big. I owe my wife a lot and for 43 years I have just stayed in the house but for this last year I have been getting to know so many wonderful people from this chat room. You all have given me something I can only try to pass on to others; the friendship and love of caring about someone and acceptance. I HAVE TO GET OUT. And I am more now than ever. Thank you all for giving me the courage and drive to do this. And a very special thanks to LarryVA for getting me on my purple kick. Thanks hon you are the best!!! 11/27/04Best news ever the owner had put another table together for the ten of us, WE WERE GOING TO THE SHOW!!!. Saturday night was totally different. My friend Opal and 8 of her GG belly dancers friends showed up. I had about a million times more fun that night. And there were more TG gals there that night. We watched the same show again (a few things were different and it was great). A few us went out and sat in the truck and talked and stuff. It was so wonderful to meet these kids. I will never forget them. Then we danced till 2am. I made so many new friends I just can't begin to tell you how it feels to finally be out and alive to a few others. I will remember both nights for as long as I live. Rae (my new nice name) 11/26/04This last weekend I traveled 250 miles to the other side of the state (Idaho) to meet a friend I have chatted with for several months now. We met first in guy mode and went shopping at a little store there in town. I walked around and looked at all the stuff they had, but nothing spoke to me. Next time I go there I am sure it will be different. Next we went out to a hamburger bar and ate dinner. It was the first time I have ever sat in public and spoke about Ralene. We talked about Opal and her life and it was just wonderful to finally have a face-to-face eye-to-eye living friend.I had come to Pocatello to go out as Ralene to a little gay bar there called Charley's to a drag show. We then went there to get tickets for the show. Worst thing happened next - they were sold out for Saturday's show - the reason I drove 500 miles and stayed 2 nights in a hotel. One of the owners said to call him back at noon on Saturday and see if he could do anything to get Opal, 8 of her GG belly dancing friends and I a table. Opal said in case we didn't get to go Saturday I should go Friday and at least get to go out once. Opal lived 60 miles away and could not go that night. So Friday I had to go all by myself. It was fun. I was the only one dressed in the audience and was over dressed for the occasion, but that was OK. They were friendly and I felt OK being there. I will remember that forever. This was truly my first time out to go to a bar, to see and be seen by everyone. 11/14/04Well today topped yesterday. As Ralene I got my first visitor. My son (26) came over and we watched the Nascar race together. He has known about Ralene for quit sometime and seen all my pictures. He knows how happy I am getting to be Ralene whenever I can. When I totally came out to him and told him about having my pictures on this site and being a member of transgender chat group I said he was ok with that. I told him I would never do anything to hurt him or his mother (my wife of 27 years). I love them both more than life itself and I also love Ralene. We have talked about Ralene some and he really is ok with her and the plan always has been that when he wanted to meet Ralene all he had to do was ask. That day came today. I was in an urnotalone chat session getting some last minute support (I was still shaking from going out Saturday), when he arrived. I told everyone "HE IS HERE". The first thing he saw was my back sitting at the pc chatting with people. As soon as I could I said good-bye to everyone and they all wished me good luck. I am so lucky I just can't believe I would ever be telling anyone this in my life. I stood up and he smiled and said "Well hi there". I could have melted. It was the happiest moment of my "Ralene" life. We sat and talked about everything, my trip to the wigs store, chatting with all my little girlfriends here and lots more stuff. When the race was over we were all going over to the in laws for dinner so when he left to go home he gave me the best hug I have ever had. To be accepted by him has truly been the best thing. I wished the whole world knew how happy we all are to get to be our feminine selves. And not try to hurt or stop us. I know I have only been out once and only had 1 visitor but it is the big and best step of Ralene's 44 years of being around. 6/04I have had one of the best days of my life and wanted to tell you about it. Wednesday we went out parting (my son-26 and I, wife was sick and stayed home) like we do almost every Wednesday. We played pool and had fun. When we got back to my place we all talked and eat some dinner. While he was talking to his mom I wrote him a note and took it out and put it in his truck. He did not see me do this. The note said: "Would you like to see the site I like to go to." I also put a box with Yes and a box with No. When he left he came right back in and said what is this and then sure. I had told him a little about urnotalone before. And the fact is he has seen Ralene twice before by accident and we have talked about it some. He knows how happy I am getting to be Ralene and he is ok with it. He would never stop loving me because of Ralene. Well the first thing I showed him was my yahoo profile picture. He thought it was lovely and could not believe it was me. He said you could never tell that it was me unless you had seen the background in the picture before. Next we went in to the urnotalone site and I showed him my pics there. He thought they were very good too. I sign on and chatted for awhile and showed him some of the other kids that I like to chat with. Then I showed him all of my pictures. He was very ok with all of this. I have so wanted to be honest with him and show him pictures of Ralene so he would know what I looked like and not have some wrong impressions. I told him how much I loved him and would never do anything to hurt him or our family. He was wonderful and very happy to finally see me in my other mode. I love him more now than ever before (if that is possible). I think it will be awhile before he actually meets Ralene, he may have to ask to see her.I am so happy and just wanted to tell you about this. Thanks for being my friend, 11/13/04Today was the best day of Ralene's life. Yesterday my wife went shopping for me and blew almost 300 bucks. Wow what a wife. It was all to go with my new hair. Today (Saturday) I got all dolled up and went to that wig store again to get a few more things. This was the first time Ralene has ever been out in the middle of the day or ever really. I drove to the wig store and it was great. I didn't look around to see if I was being watched (I didn't want to know). When I got to the store (again at 10:30 a.m.) I was the only one there again. The gals did not know until I spoke, whom they were working with. They were so kind and I had such a wonderful time. They styled my hair in different ways and I had my camera and they took lots of pictures. My first time out I will remember forever. As I was leaving they told me not to worry about what I looked like and no one would know by just looking at me. Is that the best thing you could ever hear? I stayed there for about an hour and then left but I didn't want to go home. When I walked out of that store I can't begin to tell you how I felt. When I walked to my car and stood there looking for my keys in my purse it was a different person, I wanted everyone to look at me. I drove all over Boise and then out to Lucky Peak (a reservoir boating and fish spot just out side of town). There weren't many people there and I was able to park in an empty parking lot and get out and walk around. The wind was blowing a little and the sun shining on me was wonderful. It is because of chatting with all of you that have made this all possible. I have been dressing for over 44 years but I have never been happier since finding you all here and getting to know you and having friends. 11/9/04I went out to a wig store today, tried on several, and picked one. I was in guy mode but loved all the attention they gave me. I had looked on the Internet for friendly places here in Boise to find a new wig. This one looked pretty good so I went at 10:30 a.m. hoping to miss any crowd. I had the place to myself and it was great. I picked out a half dozen or so wigs to try. The ladies were great and let me see all the ways the wigs would look and which colors were better for me. After making my purchase I had to go back to work for a going away lunch for 2 of the people I work with. It was at Chilies and all I could do was sit and look at everyone's hair and think about how it would look on me. 8/14/04Hi ya, The birthday was great. I am a big nascar fan and everyone at work decorated my office with checkered flags and 50th birthday stuff. It was so fun. All my life I have thought about 8/13/2004; the day I would turn 50. Anyway it seamed so far away. And then poof there it was. I always wondered where I would be and now here I am. I think the neatest thing that has happened was finding URNA on 12/21/03 and posting my first pic on 04/01/2004. I have been Ralene for 43 + years now but until then I was always alone (my wife knows and likes Ralene.) I have never had any one I could talk to or call my friend let alone be someone's girl friend. That has been the most wonderful thing in a very long time. Now I am thinking about 8/13/2054 : )your girl friend from Idaho, Ralene 7/14/04Where do I begin? I have always been Ralene for as long as I can remember with only my wife knowing about that and that was fine. On 12/21/03 I ventured on into the on-line world of chatting on URNOTALONE. I had no idea have a wonderful change in my life this would be. I have gotten to meet so many wonderful people. You all (well almost all) mean so much to me. I feel like I am real now. I am alive and have friends and loved ones all over the world now. (Note to Jon: I hope you have made arrangements for URNA to continue on if something should ever happen to you. You have made it possible for all of us to have a wonderful meeting place.) I have always known there was a community of us out there but I had never known how to get in it. Well I sure feel like I am now. And it is great to be here. If you see me on-line pvt and say hi I would love to hear from you. Please remember I am only looking for nice chats. If you don't see me please feel free to drop me an email and we will try to find a time we can chat. Before URNA I was only a cross dresser (not that there is anything bad with that) and now I have truly let the woman inside me out. I do love getting to be Ralene chatting and I have never felt so alive. And I so do look forward to what the future will bring. Thanks for letting me in. 4/1/04From one who loves you all and thank you for just letting me be part of your world.I am 27 years married to the same wonderful wife and I am only looking for friends to chat with and enjoy our female sides. Please no 900 stuff or cyber sex (I am just not interested).
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