Veronica
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Journal Entries for Veronica
to Enable or Disable a rating system?
July 27th, 2006 12:59 pm MDT
I am disappointed to learn that the rating system here at urna is flawed in what encourages others to connive and to deceive friendships to remain in the higher 40 votes by giving others low marks as a way to manipulate their way to the top. It disheartens me to see that instead of this becoming a fun way to unite us it unpurposely brings out unlady like behaviour in some. It was brought to my attention recently by my good friends whose rating, along with my own, has been unjustly maligned by such actions from people that were given a higher vote by ourselves. Though I do not allow or use the rating system here as a guidepost for my self-worth or self-esteem as a woman and a human being, I am very disturbed by the unsisterly behaviour of some towards others. It is my own philosophy to vote only for those members that I've encountered here whether through comments, browsing my friend's friends list, emails, or at the chat lobby. I vote only 10's or not at all, depending on how they have touched or inspired me.
I have mulled over the decision of whether I should or should not disable myself from being rated and participating in this system. I had originally thought it was a great way to bring us closer together but I now feel I am only enabling some unbeknownst to me to act maliciously. I am not at all concerned on loosing out on the free membership given to the top vote; nor do I feel any loss at not being listed on the top 40 if my votes have been lowered by those that indulge in being so trivial as to be so petty. I only voice my concern for my friends that are distressed by the injustice of it all.
I've decided to keep my rating system enabled not for the votes or for some sort of "cool person" status, but to stay connected with my true friends here who I love voting 10's for. I don't mean to sound like a spoil-sport or sore-looser, I am most definitely not one, but for those that think they have the upperhand: "it's just not that big enough of a deal to cause one to behave so unladylike". So please do continue in your affairs if that is what you like to do. Give me the low vote if it makes you happy, but please understand and know this, I do not loose anything really.
For those of you that do vote fairly with honest and sincere assestment of others regardless of what rating you feel a profile well deserves, high or low, I commend you. For at least you are operating and engaging from an honest and respectable plane of thought.
I will conclude that inspite of some that are inclined not to be fair towards others here; it is still my opinion that we are all 10's for passionately, courageously, resiliently, strongly, patiently, lovingly, and determinedly living our truth which the majority of society still does not want to accept or understand.
Finally, once again I reiterate a favorite quote "It is Better to Self-Improve than to Prove You are Better"
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I totally agree with what you've said here. When I vote for someone, it is after readying their profile, viewing any material they've submited, and considering the courage it takes to post a picture, exposing ones true self. The other thing I consider is if they are being the best them they can be. And based on those criteria how can you possible vote less then 10.
I know it takes a lot of courage to show this crule world who we really are, and we all have to start somewhere. and this envinorment should be the safest and most supportive one around.
I recetly (and briefly) was on the top 10 list of people with ten or more votes. I thought that was cool. It also propted me to add this to my profile to illistrate that although I love seeing a high score and being on the lists of recognized ladies out there. There is only one list that anyone should strive to be the top of. To be the best you there is out there. no one else could very top that list and you are the only one that you need to compair yourself to. That is becuase we are all different and we all deserve to be recognized. Maybe one day the voting system here will reflct that.
Hmm, I think I rambled a bit there. My point is that I agree with Lexi. We should not be using these votes as a self serving way to make ourselves look better. We are here as a community, we need to show each other the love and support that we like to recive ourselves. And if that means that there is a 40 way tie for first place with everyones average vote being 10, well that sounds like a supportive community that I'd like to be a part of.
Thank you Lexi for bring the topic up so that I may ramble on and on about it.
Hugs and
,
Heather
Hi Lexi,
The voting has always been an issue. There is not a perfect solution. Jon and Dan and Vicky have tried to cover every possibility to deter any negative aspects. But there are always those who slip under the radar.
THE GOOD: It makes people feel good to give you something..if they can say, "I gave you a 10" .. it is a Gift to you and their hearts are warmed by your acceptance.
It gives You a smile and a little lump in your throat when the comment appears on your profile.
THE BAD .. Some people make themselves feel good by making others feel bad.
Some people will say .."I voted you a 10!" and when you go to their profile, it shows that they have voted 20 times with an average of 6.4 .... who is the loser here? Certainly not you ...
People take the voting too seriously ... it is supposed to be fun and a way to express a comment for those who are not usually verbous or who's typing skills are limited and they can express a comment to you without hunt-peck for 5 minutes.
I only vote 10's .. I will gladly do a screen capture of anyone who I have voted for to show that ... is everyone else willing to do the same thing ... no, but that's ok. My philosopy is "To Thine Own Self Be True" ... what others do does not rent space in my brain.
I have an enormous friends list. Why? Because I will extend an invitation if they are willing to accept and participate in a friendly exchange. A LOT of people accept the invitation .. about 2% actually make an effort to post comments and stay in touch.
But, with that said ... If I did not extend the invitation to 300, then I would not have met the wonderful 6 people who have become good friends and pen-pals. I have 443 people who have listed me as a friend. I have 1693 people who have accepted my invitation. I have about 20 members who are in contact with me on a regular basis, and have become good friends.
I will always respond to comments left for me and emails sent to me. I try to leave a comment for all of the 443 people who have listed me as a friend. It is difficult, at best, because I am also responsible for maintaining my responsibility in that communication.
Karen Reeves is a perfect example of someone who has a world of friends ... she is one of the most incredible, sensitive, kind hearted, unselfish, people I have ever met. I would not know her, if I had not established a friendship with her and continued to maintain the relationship.
I think that the Voting feature is a Good one. It has more Positive aspects to it than negative .. so I vote to keep it.
Anyone who has the courage of their convictions and is willing to open their life and life style to the universe is admirable.
My SassyCat profile, is my alter-ego ... at heart, I am a Bag Lady .. if you could see me now, you would laugh .... but URNA has provided me with the venue to live my dreams and fantasies.
It is truely unfortunate that so many people's hearts are broken when their ratings drop ... it is human nature ... "go after the top dog position..street fight if you must" .. sad but true.
Take Care, lovely lady ... and do not allow those unkind people to affect your beauty or your soul.
Jo-An