Naomi Garcia
"confused about future"
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"confused about future"
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
Page generated in 2.29 seconds
Growing With Age
Lana Poulson December 23rd, 2008 6:51 pm MSTSo over the past little wile iv been changing growing up you could say. Iv become more reserved. Iv quit smoking yay me. And i have mcut out alot of people from my life that i just don't need to be around anymore. I don't really care for men at this point in my life i don't need a man. Nore want what comes with them LOL.
Anyways thought id write something and i did LOL.
[Comment on this post]
I Despise You People
Michelle Hart December 12th, 2008 4:44 pm MSTThe other night while I was watching the news it was annouced that here in Dallas a brand new "law" would be handed down and used to further punish those of us who have commited no crime. Those of us who have done nothing to the pathetic and pitiful "victims" who have cried foul for years. I have never met you, nor have I said a crass word to you until now. I have tried to stop your endless crusades of ignorance before, but alas my right's are far less important than yours aren't they.
As many of you know I frequently offer my suggestions and perhaps some questionable wisdom for the many wonderful people here in the URNA family. In the grandest sense I have compassion and love for each of you, but some of your efforts and actions are insanly ludicris and impossibly idiotic.
You don't know me but that really doesn't matter. It's your mission in life to punish me and harass me. You have taken it upon yourself to cost me even more money at every turn. That wasn't enough for you though, you wanted more from me. You forced me to stand out in the snow, and the rain. Why should you care if I catch a cold. You got your way like the screaming little brat in a store who has a mother that just can't say no. Your whining temper tantrums are the stuff of legend.
Oh you cry, and flail about in an never ending quest to be validated for your own stupidity and disrespect. You only care about YOU! Nobody else matters. Not the people that will lose their jobs, not the busineses that will lose revenue, certainly not the companies that initially built this nation.
Did you know that all you have today is because of them? You don't care though because you got to force me to give up one more thing that I enjoyed. Desperately hopeing you could taste something other than the meaningless life you live now. Am I being to hateful or harsh for you? Well you have treated me with disdain and contempt for years but you never noticed it. You were far to busy dreaming up your next cause and looking for the newest idiotic crusade.
You are to much of a coward to risk anything at all. You have never been willing to start your own business and cater to those who share your opinion. You were not willing to invest all you had to build something up and gain a loyal customer base. No not you. That was far to difficult, and you knew it would fail eventualy anyway. So you decided to punish those who did do it instead. Why should you put your hard work and effort into something and risk failure? You would never ever do that, it's so much easier to hide behind someone else and throw your intolerance around.
Why should you care if a business has to close it's doors, why should you care if YOU are the cause of that inconveinience. You got your way and finally got to punish the evil doers like me who just happened to be enjoying something you don't like. It never crossed your mind to go someplace else. Oh that's right, those places were not nearly as much fun were they?
Respect for others was never very easy for you was it? So you run your Ad's on the tele, you have your websites and claims of percieved malice. All the while totally ignoring not only the history of this country but those of us who still believe in freedom of choice. Yes my dear, that's right. You lack the most basic of intelligence, you fail in understanding and accepting those simple words. I am sure it's just impossible for you creatins to understand, that anyone could actually have the ability to live their own life without your intrusive and totally misguided wisdom!
You have a choice. Yet, you would do all that you can to ensure that I'm not allowed one. You decry the trauma that I cause you, the pain you feel, the suffering you endure. Oh yes honey you are no different from the petulant lout of a child who did'nt get a lolly pop.
The sheer disdain and contempt you show for me and others is deplorable.
You see my right's as written in the constitution to pursue life liberty and happiness mean absolutely nothing to you. You and the other uneducated brigons have taken it upon yourselves to transfer your inherent misery onto me and others. While I and others try to casually enjoy our evenings out, or just relax at home, you fume and plot and scheme in evermore creative ways to dictate my actions and limit my personal decisions and choices.
Misery loves company and you just can't wait to make everyone as miserable as you.
It's not enough that I have tried to work with you by sitting outside in the cold, or at the back of reasteraunts where I can't apreciate the veiw. No that just was'nt enough, it never will be. So you cried more and more. You complained and no matter what I or anyone else did to make you happy it just was'nt ever enough.
As long as you get your way, it does'nt matter if I have to suffer right? You have forced me to give up the thing's that I used to be able to enjoy in peace. To you EVERYTHING is a problem for you to solve and control. Would you devise a polite and respectful resolution to your egregious and intelectually vapid claims of suffering? Never! That's far to mature and respectful for you.
So I write this open letter to you, the pathetic whining child, the denzien who cares only about yourself and your "rights" but nobody elses. You wretches who have shown such utter and total comtempt for me as an adult. You, who delusionally belive that it is somehow your responsibility nay your "right" to intrude on my life and ruin my relaxation and enjoyment no matter the cost.
You have taken so much from me and others yet have given NOTHING back.
You are a parisite that eagerly sucks the life out of everything around you. As long as you get to decide how everyone else lives, what they eat, or even what they are allowed to drive you're happy.
Unfortunately for you that will never be, YOU will never be happy! YOU will never be content! So today I just wanted to say how much I despise you, how much I loath you and your ilk.
Becasue of YOU I can no longer enjoy a cigarette or a cigar at the Village Station or any other bar or resturaunt in Dallas.
Feel free to let me know what other choices of mine you would like to take away....
Oh and my final two words to you, one these words is “Up.” The other is a possessive pronoun.
[Comment on this post]
Sigh
Nicole Samantha James December 11th, 2008 2:02 am MSTWhat the hell am I doing? I moved out of LA because it was so stiffling then I get here to Arizona and before the month is out I had slept with 6 guys. Then I get pissed at myself and swear I will never do it again but the next week there I am on my back again making some guy happy. I get all femmed up and watch as even my voice changes ok well maybe I listen you cant really watch your voice change now can you?
On a lighter note Im having this dream where I find a bar of soap in a box so not just soap thrown in the street. On the box is a picture of a hot girl. I was with the soap and become that girl on the box. Turns out she is a stripper so now I am dancing at the local gentlemans club. One question why on earth is it called a GENTLEMANS club.
Im Nicole James and I am not really sure I approve this message
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 11th, 2008 5:49 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:57 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:32 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Liberty and Justice for some...
Laura Carrillo November 10th, 2008 9:30 pm MSTRoutine. Day after day, hour after hour I feel like I have been trapped in a hamster wheel. A very entertaining and distracting wheel, indeed. I don't really feel like thinking, or doing the IM thing. Can't be bothered if making this wheel turn seems so interesting. It isn't really like there is a whole lot to do after coming back from work. Glenn calls me a bedbug: I get home, take off the work clothes and plop my ass on bed. Maybe I should find something interesting to do. But I don't feel like it. Besides the bed is soft, and the bedroom is the warmest room in the house. I don't really want to have any drama in my life, even though that would make my life a bit more interesting to retell. Yep, not a lot of things get me fired up these days, it is more comfy to sit in bed and play Neopets Flash games with my kids.
There is a turning point in your life when you stop doing crazy things. You remember certain things you rather keep to yourself. Like when you were in the back of a police car for disturbing the peace back in Peru. Or when you marched with a bunch of other college students, interrupting traffic and running the risk of being hit by a bus. I think it was a solidarity march with the miner's union, although I think it was a good excuse for skipping a failing class. Yea, the wild days. It was always a protest in Peru. We did like to complain a lot and let everyone know about it. Sometimes things got ugly, cops on horses were quite intimidating. And the water gun, ugh. Didn't sit in the cop car too long. My godfather ( Rip) was a colonel in the Peruvian Air Force and his name carried some weight. The slap on the face and the couple of kicks I got from the cops did not wipe the grin of my face as I was let go. Crazy days indeed. My grandpa had been a political prisoner during one of the numerous dictatorships Peru used to have. He never talked about it, but my mom always told me the stories. I knew they were not fake because while working at my grandpa's print shop I always noticed political propaganda lying around. He used to print it for free, he never charged for any of it. His political party was illegal for many decades, and he enjoyed the fact that his party won the election during the mid-1980's before he passed away. The current government is also that same party, guess they re doing something right. I wonder if the Us Customs would've let me in if they knew I was this nuts...
Everyone has written about the elections lately. I can't be happier. I followed B. Obama since the primaries. I like to follow politics. Tell you the truth, I liked Dennis Kucinich more, he is just a firecracker. But I knew he was not going to win cuz he is too liberal sometimes. But little Dennis is my hero, he is the one who insisted on impeaching Bush and our heartless vicepresident, even after Pelosi said there was not going to be any impeachments. I think the benefit of the majority superseded the needs of the minorities in this election. Propositions 8 and 2, in California and Florida passed, probably because the black vote decidedly voted for Obama but was definitely against same sex marriage. I think this is a matter of education. The black voters followed their preachers, who obviously would be against anything unholy. Interference of Church in State affairs? Yep, aren't they a meddlesome bunch?
There is no need to blame or feel angry against anybody. It is much better to find a solution. I think protesting works. I do feel like we should voice our opinion, let's make ourselves heard. Can't help but feel like second class citizens. though. We didn't make enough to educate the black vote so they could understand we are being discriminated like they were being discriminated a couple of decades ago.
I attended a town hall meeting, not so long ago, in which the representative of the NAACP was in the panel of speakers. I remember she said, our fight is their fight and that they would be behind us 100%. Glenn can back me up on this, cuz he was there too. I feel like we are not alone in this. We can't do the fighting by ourselves and be taken seriously. Alliances are good. We have waited and we can wait a few more months, I understand there are priorities, like the economy. But we must keep this issue in the front of the news. Protests are good and the Day of Remembrance this month is a good time to be seen and heard. Find out when they're gonna have services in your area, try to attend, that's the least you can do.
It sucks to have a right being taken away from you by popular vote. Why is a right that everyone else has, included in a ballot for the majority to vote on? How did it get there in the first place? I don't know all the political intricacies but I suppose there is a clear disregard for a constitution that claims it contains inalienable rights for every citizen. Everyone is talking about how America has again become the greatest democracy in the world. How come other democracies like Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, the Netherlands and Belgium have allowed same sex marriages for years now? Same sex partner benefits are also recognized in countries such as Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Costa Rica, Israel, Italy, New Zealand, South Africa( the country, not the continent Palin followers...) and Spain. America has now to catch up.
So, if you have been caught in a rut for a while, remember you can't complain about your rights being taken away without doing nothing about it. Get off your couch, stop playing that video game, don't worry about dumb jocks and their affairs with grabbing a football and attend your local Day of Remembrance services. You know what we are remembering, right? If that is not enough motivation, I do not know what will :-)
*note: all the pictures are from the protests against the passing of Prop 8 in Cali. More than 5000 gathered to march, crazy people :-P
[Comment on this post]
Spank My Bottom and See Me Smile...
Daphne Decker October 21st, 2008 3:58 pm MDTWell friends wish me luck because on Monday I head off to the Houston Area Courthouse for my Legal name change. I am so looking forward to this change. Shredding one more layer of the past too conform more with the present so that I may soldier on into the future. Nun Freunden wünsche mir Glück, weil ich am Montag Kopf ab, um den so genannten "Houston Area Courthouse für meine Rechtliche Namen ändern. Ich bin so freuen uns auf diese Veränderung. Zerkleinern ein mehr Schicht der Vergangenheit zu mehr konform mit der Gegenwart, so dass ich Mai Soldat auf in die Zukunft. ובכן חברים לאחל לי מזל כי ביום שני אני לירט את יוסטון עירוני Courthouse שלי המשפטי לשנות שם. אני כל כך להסתכל קדימה כדי לשנות את זה. רטוש עוד שכבה של העבר להתאים יותר מדי את ההווה עם זאת ייתכן כי אני חייל במחסום אל העתיד. إضافة إلى أصدقاء لي الحظ بسبب ترغب في يوم الاثنين الأول لرئيس قبالة منطقة هيوستن دار العدل لتغيير اسم بلدي القانونية. وأنا على ذلك يتطلع الى هذا التغيير. التمزيق المزيد من طبقة واحدة من الماضي جدا تتفق أكثر مع هذا حتى يمكنني أن على الجندي في المستقبل. Eh bien les amis me souhaitent bonne chance parce que lundi, j'ai la tête hors de la région de Houston pour la justice de mon changement de nom légal. Je suis tellement hâte à ce changement. Déchiquetage une couche de trop le passé, plus conforme à la présente pour que je mai soldat dans le futur. Bueno amigos me desean suerte porque el lunes me van al área de Houston Courthouse para mi cambio de nombre legal. Estoy tan esperando a este cambio. Trituración más una capa de los últimos también se ajustan más con el presente a fin de que se me permite el soldado en el futuro.[Comment on this post]
Another job might help
Lana Poulson September 29th, 2008 5:46 pm MDTSo i was at work today and wow was it ever dead it sucked that i was so damn early. I found out since my manager will be away next month i can show up for 10. So now i wont have to leave so damn early as i did today like half an hour early. But ya thought that was funny. Wile i was at work i looked on Volunteer Ottawa site, i ended up going to the Salvation Army site and applied to volunteer for them. Hopefully on another day in the week so it keeps me busy. I also got my Manager to write me a letter so i can bring it with me to Toronto just stating that i work there. I feel good but i want something that will keep me busy. Today it was like yawn not very many calls and i was surfin the web and emails and stuff. My dog also ate one of my ear phones not so great about that so only one works i still used it, but now will have to buy another head set. Ah well. Can't wait to get paid so i can pay off my stupid credit card. LOL just so i can rack it back up pay for my train ticket for Toronto in advance. I know this month will be better then last month. I spent the amount on it this month. Which of course was going over then what i wanted. I'll be more responcible next month i have to be. If i want to sdtart saving money again after X-mas i can start saving money again. So i can start doing the things i need to do like get new bedroom things and bath and living space. As well start saving for my breast implants. Do volunteering as well work next year thats my plan. Thats it for now Lana Song Beer for my horses - Toby Keith[Comment on this post]
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Cathrine M Wallace September 22nd, 2008 8:38 pm MDTHello, Yall "I'm a female traped in a mans body" to coin the phrase. I love dressing up and being the girl I wish I was. I'm very straight and not interested anything sexuall at all. Sorry, I'm sorry if I disappointed you. I just love going out and having as much as possabe. If your interested in getting together and going out by all means give me a gingle. I am a christian married crossdresser just wanting to get out and have fun. Lipsinking to songs or just hanging out and getting some photos does'ent matter. I am just looking for a few good friends. Would you like to be a friend? Cathrine[Comment on this post]
Latest Update
Lana Poulson September 17th, 2008 1:38 pm MDTSo I went to the Hiv 101 training and wow did it ever open up my eyes about things. I thought i knew stuff but wow i learned a whole lot more when i went to that meeting. So the 22nd which is next Monday i start my first day of work which im super excited about. I can't wait to learn and do something different. Its funny last time i spoke with my shrink i had talked about id like to volunteer which i have said for the last 2 years now when i see him tomorrow he will be very suprised im sure. Since im not just talking about it im doing it. Also that im going to Toronto for my SRS assessment (SRS Sex Change Sugery) October 14th i am so ready to start that part. It shall be intresting and I have two apointments same day. Iv been waiting for a date so now that im finally going down i feel great. Iv also decided to not smoke anymore. But this time im going to do cold turky it has worked in the past for me for a good wile and im just at that point where i need to quit for me. I even wrote my brake up letter to my cig addiction. Its day one but i feel great so far. Plus i no longer can aford it lol its true. My Father and i were talking recently and this year has really been my year, One of our family friends even said i look better and iv come along way and she can see im really come into my own this year. Id say shes right for sure. Funny enough but i feel next year and the years after is really going to go my way. I mean i bought my dog this year, im now taking lower anti-depression meds and hope to go even lower. Im volunteering to get experince and get my self slowly back into the work force. Iv finally come into my own and now have better style then i ever have lol. I really do have better taste now haha. I feel great im not depressed and i keep all nagative feelings and thoughts out of my space. I try my best to always be positive and think positive too. However life is always intresting i feel now that my life is more tame. Im excited about turning 29 and even 30 believe it or not *smiles*. I just feel greatYayLana[Comment on this post]
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Cathrine M Wallace September 7th, 2008 4:16 pm MDTJust looking for something to do[Comment on this post]
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Cathrine M Wallace September 7th, 2008 4:14 pm MDTA day out at the park[Comment on this post]
My Own Being
Lana Poulson September 3rd, 2008 10:53 am MDTIts funny how time passes by, When I first started this transition I never thought I would get as far as I have gotten. Its taken many many years for me to get to this stage. Clothing was my biggest problem converting everything. Then getting rid of everything else that did not match how I felt (guy clothing). But once everything was in place I felt safe. One transsexual I first met when I came to Ottawa had said when you by female under wear take scissors to the guy ones and you will feel better. I did what she said and felt great after words. I have to say when I started using the internet years ago to meet men and I did meet many I found a lot of them were losers funny enough I find most men now to be the same as they were then. And I started this whole thing at 21 years of age. Though most of them were new experiences for me since before I switched I lived as a gay guy. I then found out when I went as a girl that men gay or straight or sort a all the same and after one thing. Though I have had experience in both departments some men can be real sweet hearts and others not so much. I also used to want a relationship and to be married so bad. I guess it had to do with wanting to be loved for who I was. And not having many friends as a child. My parents loved me but I needed that extra bit. Its funny though now because I learned you have to love your self before you can love anyone else. Even into my late teens and in to my early 20's I thought love would fix everything change everything even how I felt about my self. I learned after having my first long term relationship that love does not change anything about who you are except maybe you learn from what you want and what you don't want love is to be powerful but sometimes its just shit. In a matter of speaking of course LOL. Now that IM 28 years old and the proud mom of a pomchi my little baby girl other words known as Miss Trouble LOL. I love her so much that needing a man in my life is not really my number one thing on my To Do List. Or Want List. It also might have something to do with the hormones IM taking and tblockers I'm on or it could be everything I'm going through in my life right now. Im going to be turning 29 in a couple of months Nov which means my last year in my 20's or as I call them late 20's. So much has changed with me for the better. My friends have sort a changed, the way I see everything has changed. I don't have negative feelings towards my self I can't I have a dog to look after its not me anymore its not all about me as it has been for so many many years. I do love my self now 100 an 10%, which is funny if you were to ask me last year which was such a bad year for me I probably would of said no and then maybe told yah off LOL. That was how I thought and acted last year. But one day you have to wake up and say there are more important things out there then negative thoughts and feelings. This year has been the most important in my transition I started lazar hair removal which I should of started when I first started but do to money and I guess timing it did not fall in to place till recently.. My dog has helped me immensely. Im now taking lower anti depression meds high hormones and tblockers which have made me so calm I don't get mad but heated now. I wake early and go to bed early I have a busy day or if not try to stay busy. Though I do take afternoon naps with my pooch being up early gets me tired because not all night sleeps are peaceful. Im really excited about this volunteering position that I applied for, And I hope I get it but if not I will look on the site again for others. Soon I'll go to Toronto for my assessment apparently they ask a lot of questions so I'll be prepared but not stressed. I just want this transition to be done. And have normal sex. I have had all the anal sex one can have and to be honest I don't want anymore of it. The before care is a pain and the after care is a bitch. And if they go to ruff you can feel it at the bottom of your stomach or so it feels like that. And to be honest what I mean by normal to me I mean Vaginal sex . Anyway I'm very happy how everything is finally coming together and to be honest I don't need a man for anything at this point in my life. I don't need to fret or stress or worry why he's not calling or have to hear another excuse on why he did not show. All that time on men can go to my dog diva and my self and my friends and family. The road we got might be tough and there are a lot of bumps for sure. But the rainbow at the end of the storm we will be able to enjoy for sure. Keep Smiling Lana[Comment on this post]
Living Life
Maddison August 9th, 2008 7:02 pm MDTHI Friends! All of you are so awesome and though I am not able to stay in touch with you like I wish I could, I appreciate the warm welcome that you have expressed or emailed me. Life sure gets crazy and there are times when something happens or someone shares something with you that makes you stop. Stop to truly see the beauty around you, to see that life has so many things to offer even amongst the difficult times. We have so many things to offer to other people. Our life stories when we stop being victims have a powerful impact on other lives. We can become an inspiration, or the touch that someone needs, or the smile that they have been waiting for, or the hug that says I am there and you are loved for who you are. Life is so short and each day we have to live as though it truly is our last. Yesterday is done, it is gone. Today . . . . it is here. And no matter what our situation is this day, we have to choose to live as we are, because that gets us closer to being who we are meant to be, want to be tomorrow. But if we keep waiting for tomorrow to live because we are waiting to 'arrive' first, to be totally happy, . . . . then it is one more day that we have allowed the negative to rob us of being closer to our dreams. Tomorrow may never come -- we assume it will. The caterpiller, it goes through many transitions before it becomes a beautiful living butterfly. But it keeps moving forward from a fuzzy crawling woolie bear, to a place where the change happens, to finally emerging till she is ready to fly. And she is beautiful . . . . but she worked for that freedom. And she lives with grace because she knew, each stage of her life, brought her to this glory. It wasn't always easy, but she knew who she was becoming and she stayed faithful to moving forward one day at a time, living each day . . . . . living life, because none of us were created as a mistake, but with a purpose of becoming. And that includes the people in our lives -- we were never meant to do life alone. Hugs![Comment on this post]
Change
Lana Poulson July 29th, 2008 12:20 pm MDTChange So since going through my old child hood stuff and looking through things that i want to pass on to someone else in the garage sale. I have also come to relise that im just growing up and changing into a brand new person which means i also want to change the things i see everyday when i go to the bathroom to what i see in my living space and bedroom. I want clean lines romantic in the bathroom. Elegant in the bedroom and sleek in the living space. I have looked on a few websites as well Ikea. Iv been pretty ok but up and till now i need something more grown up and when i have friends over i want then to feel very comfy and relaxed. My bathroom needs updating and the huge mirror needs to come down thats on the bathroom wall. It needs fresh paint. And areas were i can put things away so everything is not so out in the open. Id also like to re do the bedframe for a crisp look, I also plan on getting a love seat that turns into a bed for friends to sleep over. Id like to get also new lamps as well a new coffee table maybe with storage. I just want something new and grown up but stylish as well. It will take me a wile to get everything i need so each month i will get something piece by piece. Also id like to get new dishs and cutlery. And this of that sort so when i do move i will have everything i need. The Living space i will have a new tv something more updated as well a clean nice tv stand from Ikea i already picked one out. I'm very ecited to get everything rolling when i get back from the States. Also the medication for my puppy has now stopped but first thing first my dog comes first so when i get back from the states i have to find a vet that wont charge me through the roof. For my dogs tinckling problem i need to find out what else i can do for her. Because the medication has not compleatly cleared it up. But Im hopeful. Song Words by Madonna[Comment on this post]
The Thing About Becoming A Woman, & Not Staying In The Middle
Lana Poulson July 24th, 2008 3:26 pm MDTSo i'm on msn just now and this guy messages me out of no where and starts talking just nasty about doing it with a tgirl. And then asks me a question about doing it with him. Now out of no wher ei have not spoken with this person in a long time. And i ask him how does he know i have a compleatly different mind set what if i have changed.The question is .... When do you know you have Changed and have set in stone your main goal.I had told him that thats not what im about. I no longer use my penis, I don't have sex i don't let anyone touch me down there and that im going to toronto in October for my assessment to get my SRS. Not that im getting the operation when im there but its in the works basicly.His reply back was well wile you wait do you think we could get together and mess around. Hes like you were so nice to me before and your so pretty. Just cause im nice and im pretty does not mean im going to throw away all my goals and put everything aside for what a night of a pointless frolk with some dude. And be so unhappy after that im discusted with my self.I once again told him its never going to happen i don't want that i don't use anything and basicly said to him that he should do me and him a favour by removing me off his msn. Then he went on to asking if i knew any other tgirls in Ottawa. I said no i then blocked him and that was that.What i don't understand is how can you call me pretty but then say lets do that. What a pretty girl can't have bigger goals for her self. This transition has been hard on me as for any other girl we have our struggles, melt downs tuff times and what not. But since being on the higher t blockers and just where i am in my life. I want more for my self my goals are becoming closer and reachible. I have no intrest in men who suck D*&K nore have an intrest in men who want A^%L sex. And above all that I HATE Reciving A$%L SEX. I have no intrest in sex and till i get my final operation and i meet the right guy. Im done with men and till im done with this transition.I have my dog and right now shes the best companion out there. And she loves me no matter what. if im sick shes there if i look under the wether she does not care. My friends are great and my family is well funny but there my family. I'm not looking for a relationship i don't need one right now im doing my own thing and thats whats most inportent i take my time for me serously. I'm not missing anything right now and i have everything i need.Men just complicate things. Make you over think crap and waste your time. So why bother i'll talk to men. But make it clean coversation i don't care about your pecker. and i don't care how high your sex drive is because nobody is going there with me. Also men that are into transsexuals pre-op i mean honestly i think there gay. Call me whatever but im more of a woman now then i think i ever have been before i know whats right for me and whats become so clear. No Men Means Less stress. And besides how many relationships really last.Maybe in my mid 30's to 40's but right now i have everything i need.TTYL Song The Way I Are - Timberland[1 comment]
My Shrink & Lazer / Entry for July 22, 2008
Lana Poulson July 22nd, 2008 4:25 pm MDTMy Shrink & Lazer / Entry for July 22, 2008 So today i went to go see my shrink as well for my lazer hair removel. My session went well with my Dr i had told him about how im feeling lately about sex and that i don't want any of it. And the fact that i have bad dreams as i call them. Really there sex dreams but not the kind that i want to have. I guess now being in this transition and my goals are be coming closer as well dreams are coming true. Im further from sex. I don't want a man that sucks cock. nor do i want a man who wants to touch me down there. I am so far along from where i used to be. Funny enough it does not scare me at all. It just makes everything so much clearer. Having a defect is just something that is anoying now. But knowing that i can do something about it makes me feel really good. Right now it gets in the way of things. But later down the road it wont be a problem anymore. The dreams i have are not what i want and not something i enjoy having if anything it freaks me out. I also talk to him about men. Though id like to date someone the sex i do not want. I don't like anal sex it's not comfortable and i never truely liked it to begin with. As far as oral goes on me i don't want that ether. I just don't want sex period. Maybe once i get down there done but for right now im very content just doing my own thing. I have the best companion a wonderful dog that has done wonders for me. I had also talked about how i feel since i have been on the lower anti-depression meds and though i have days where i feel down its nothing i can't handle and though i may not leave the house because its to hot out or raining or whatever. My puppy makes me laugh and smile and everything is ok. I had also talked about that i want to go higher on the T Blockers and that i will have to talk to my Homrone Doctor for that. But they are doing there job for sure. I got what i needed to get off my chest and after the session was over i went next door to my Lazer lady. Lazer went well it did not hurt as much this time around i guess its because less hair or lower setting who knows. But i do know this my upper lip was not as puffy and the redness went away quicker then normally. All i wear now for foundation is a good powder it covers redness and scars. I like it and so happy i can wear just powder. I told the Lazer lady that i'll come in in September to start on my neck Its not a huge area thankfully but ya im very happy with lazer hair removel it works for sure. And lucky me i did not get cought in the rain. Weather people said it would rain LOL.[Comment on this post]
Newly Post Op!
Kanani N Y July 17th, 2008 12:37 am MDTWell, I did it! I finally had SRS! Is it all I anticipated it to be? Yes and no. Yes that I love how my body looks down there. No that I didn't anticipate the pain level I would be experiencing! If you are planning on having SRS, do know that it's not a walk in the park. It's pretty serious stuff and wrought with tons of emotional and physical trauma! But I do not regret it for a second! I'm so looking forward to when I am fully recovered, (about a year from now) and am able to just "be." Until then, it's a year of painful dilating and trying to fit in the 3x a day dilating schedule into my daily routine. Being here in Thailand is an amazing experience as well. If you have any questions about my experience, or about SRS, transitioning, etc don't hesitate to ask. And, if you are one of those few who happens to read this journal, email me if you want to be added to my email list where I send my Thailand Journal Experience to. I do this to let my family/friends know about my experiences and how I'm doing. Anyway, hope you are all having a great summer! Hugs, ~Nani~[3 comments]
July 12 2008
Lana Poulson July 14th, 2008 2:22 pm MDTJuly 12 2008 So i got my passport in and it looks great. I also got a credit card and i already bought something with it on line. My limit is 500$ which is good. I need to build some credit so this is a good way to do it. However as soon as my statement comes in to pay for it, im going to pay it right away. Also i finished reading this great book called The Secret its like a self help book but better. So im learning not to have negative thoughts because what ever i think which turns into a thought goes out. Anyone who reads it will be more thoughtful when thinking thoughts. My brother is sorta homeless i feel bad for him but he needs to relize set plans before its to late. And he thinks renting a room you get everything included which is untrue. Some place's you rent a room thats all your rent. Anywho hes got some places in mind so i hope he gets something soon. Im very excited about going shopping in the US this Augest. Also i have heard back from the Dr about going to the Centre For Addiction & Mentle Health for my assessment in September. Now just waiting to find out when that month. Also going to take an art course in probably mid winter, a night course so im excited about that. Diva is doing really well i really want the medication to work so she stops tinkling. I love her to bits shes done alot for me. Shes gotton bigger and shes now 16 pounds but shes a healthy 16 pounds. I'm still really werided out by guys. I think because i don't have a sex drive anymore and that i don't want anyone touching me down there has just made me not want a guy at all. I mean i want a relationship but i want one as a female compleated not the way i am now because i know those types of guys that like pre-op's like the dick factor and i just can't stand to be with someone like that. It's funny i never thought id be like that the way i am now and i so am. I don't even like talking to people like that who like that. It's so funny but iv changed in the way i think. I used to think i like having a (penis) its fine i find enjoyment out of it and so on. And now i can't wait till its gone. Is it that i want better for my self, I want to be treated better. I can't even be bothered in talking to men that want sex. And i think its because im done with that side of my self and or side of that life. It's lonely when guys can't take you out in public or they have to much going on or or or. I'm glad i have my dog im not as lonely anymore, though id like to meet someone that has the same things in life that want the same things and that loves pets. Im going for my last lazer treatment this month on my lip which is great. And then probaly in September i'll start under my chin and finish off my face. Im taking each day at a time. Thats all i can do right. Positive thoughts and thinking and loving. Lana[Comment on this post]