URNotAlone

Ups & Downs

January 5th, 2007 3:48 pm MST

     Well the new years weekend is over & was really a rollercoaster ride for me my party was a much anticipated event & I am sure everyone else had a ball:o) but unfortunately My partner decided to vent some frustration on me at one point early on in the night & Nicci cant really handle that very well (since it was never supposed to happen again) So I was depressed the rest of the night & it was one of those downers that just seem to spiral down further with no chance of comeback. No method would work to bring me back so I just sat around quietly watching everyone else have a good time   until eventually I just got undressed. My theory of it all is that when confronted in a hurtful/hostile way no matter how brief causes the “femme persona” to abruptly disappear  & be replaced again by the boy. This is how I felt afterwards I couldn’t really put my finger on it at first but what had happened is that  I felt like “a boy dressed up” rather than Nicole. Unfortunately this feeling wouldn’t go so that’s why I felt like crap & wanted to get undressed.             Its funny when I first get dressed it takes a little while for the boy to disappear & for me to feel I have transitioned into my femme mode. I call it integration into my femme self . It takes usually ½ an hour or so & if Angie or Taylor is visiting this time is usually spent chatting over a glass of vino. So whilst plenty of pictures were taken sadly :o( I only had a few from the beginning when I was setting up the lighting, there were plenty of nice ones for the visitors though! The visitors also managed to glimpse the other side of Nicci as a couple had only ever seen girl mode…:o)            Anyways the next night & I was home alone …so what does a girl do! That’s right dress up again! Lol ..always a challenge shaving again after such a close shave the night before but after my face stopped bleeding I managed a passable makeup job & things were looking good as the setting & all the photographic gear was still setup from the party so piccies were low hassle for a change…kewl!   So much as to say I spent the evening either in front of the D80 or  the computer chatting to friends …a very enjoyable evening indeed! I even changed outfits usually Im to lazy & comfy to be bothered lol however my catsuit looked just to tempting! & since I received my little kitten ears I just love wearing it meowww! Lol         I only stayed up until 2.30am (damit!!) as we had a new years party at our place  & the house was looking like cyclone tranny had cut a wide berth straight through the middle of it! Stuff everywhere! You know the drill so would be very busy the next day tidying.   Anyways at least I was cheered up & managed to add to my picture collection :o) Everyone have a great 2007 & look forwards to seeing you all in this brand new year!Bye Bye…. purrr…purrrNicci..xx