URNotAlone

Effeminate. Why is that harder for me?

February 9th, 2009 3:10 pm MST

I moved to Austria with the intention of acting and looking like a girl.  I've lived full time before.  That wasn't the intent here.  I can dress and look fairly passable.  I have a harder time not dressing and acting effeminate.  Here is the scary part.  I could be and act like a girl almost any time I want to.  I'm not sure why but  I'll be out with my wife (not dressed) and acting similar to the way I do when dressed, when I suddenly notice myself being very very butch.  I'm sure it's habit and the fact that grew up that way.  I just wish I could break that habit.  Nobody here seems to care whether I'm butch or a gay male.  They don't question the overtly plucked eyebrows, the shiny manicured nails, the earrings.