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Frank Disalle

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Have I Totally Lost It?

July 30th, 2007 4:43 pm MDT

I've been coming here a year now -- got my anniversaru greeting a few weeks ago -- and I am more lost than when I got here. I have learned so much since I got here; like a free college education in sexuality/ But what have I learned about members of the transgender community? While they give off an "aura" of uniqueness, there are some qualities they seem to all share. They are generally afraid, and conceal it in dozens of clever ways: adolescent flirting, snarkiness, pseudo - cynicisml faked sophistication and elitism, and many, many more.I don't pretend to know what they are afraid of, but wearing a mask, and insisting it is not a mask is not helpful -- like "ignoring the man behind the curtain" I see the man and the curtain, so why continue the charade?Do I sound disillusioned? Frustrated? Upset? I don't deny it. And I am truly not attempting to assign blame. There's a whole lot of "me" in this "mess", but I feel like I'm lost in a neighborhood where I don't speak the language. Who do you ask for directions, when no one understands you? Ask questions, and you are accused of being intolerant; respond to the misbehavior of others, and you are told YOUR behavior is unacceptable -- as if men are here solely to be mistreated. If you want this to be Girls Together Only (and how many of you enter the room, say "Hello, girls!" rather than "Hello,everybody!") then call it GTO,instead of URNA, and be done with it.I'm sorry about the "stream of consciousness", and I am prepared for the usual, "Suck it up! You're on our turf, now! Deal with it" responses, but i had to get it out of my system.  Thanks for listening.    

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  • Mata
    Re: Have I Totally Lost It? Mata July 31st, 2007 1:09 pm MDT Frank, infact I believe you do not speak the language of this neighborhood. I can't really say anything about people's demeanour in chat, as I do not chat on this site -- but from journal posts and comments, which of course are only a small fraction of this site's content, I would assume that URNA is a TG community with genetic males allowed to watch from the side lines ...  infact, the majority of posts are directed towards "girls" or expect "girls" to reply ... don't know why, though .... maybe that's something to do with bad experiences with men, or possibly with a, in general, rather poor behaviour of males in virtual worlds (b.t.w. I never really understood why the only group I can opt for on this site is "admirers" which in itself suggests a certain attitude -- I can't really remember having admired anyone for whatever gender they were ... weird)  .... or maybe because men are not really considered to be able to contribute to transgender issues in a useful manner. But then again, I haven't seen too many posts from males in the first place ... could it be males really don't have anything much to contribute? We will never know, I'm afraid ... In general I would say where tolerance is expected, tolerance should be granted --- and that's for everyone. So the best you can hope for is some time to meet someone here who accepts you as part of the community even though you are male. ---Mata
  • Michelle Hart
    Re: Have I Totally Lost It? Michelle Hart February 28th, 2008 3:24 pm MST

    It's not that you don't speak our language it's HOW you speak it. Frank we like you! You have a profile, you discuss, you share. We don't like the trolls who come here looking for a quickie or an easy "score". The guys with no profile, no picture, and nothing to say about themselves. We get tired of the same tired lines, "I'm to busy", "my photo was rejected", "I don't know what to say"..... bullshit! The rare times I go into chat I get hammered with "hey babe", "your hot", "can we meet", etc. I don't know these guys and they act like I am a peice of meat for their amusment.

    Mata is right on...." in general, rather poor behaviour of males in virtual worlds " What ever happend to hello? How are you? or Hi my name is______ would you like to chat? I can do the whole sex kitten thing but give me a break. I would like to know just who I'm being a kitten for. No profile = Coward/Loser. I don't date either and am not interested in talking to them at all. I actually got an email from some moron who only said "hi there" what the hell am I supposed to do with that?

    This guy wants me but dosen't have the decency to tell me why I should want him back, why I should invest ANY time in him. I like confident men. Men that have somthing to say, this guy was neither. Danielle and I have both written on the subject any man who wants me can take a minute a look past my photo and read what I have to say. Most would figure out I'm not for them pretty quick if they did.

     

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