Journal Entries for Stephanie Elaine Cooper
Update 2011
February 27th, 2011 11:28 am MST
I was going to add this to my profile but there is a size limit.
Okay it has taken longer than I expected. It is now Feb. 2011 and I’m still working in male mode, sorta. It least so they think. I behave like a girl most of the time and have to bind to hide my chest, at work only. On the weekends, when I’m not in full femme mode, I definitely bend the gender lines with my long and often painted nails and my refusal to bind when away from work.
I am currently saving funds for hair restoration surgery cuz I won’t wear a wig fulltime. Then I will go to Dr Beck for facial work. Hopefully I will get to finish bottom surgery before I become too old to enjoy it. I now have a job where I know I will be protected when I finally show them the “F” on my driver’s license and come out. It is amazing how life can get in the way of time lines. All of the family, friends and past loves now know and support me in my transition, which is SO gratifying. I waited 40 years, since my first understanding, to do this so the wait isn’t killing me, but the lack of support might have.
I am taking voice classes at CSU Sacramento, which are great. Dr Ann Blanton is the coolest. If I'm lucky insurance will pay for GRS, as it looks like the tide is turning. Marci Bowers has moved to the bay area and some insurance companies are actually paying for surgery. *YAY!* It is so nice that the walls of discrimination are starting to fall. Thank you Harvey Milk. RIP
Well it has started
November 16th, 2006 11:08 pm MST
Hi to anybody who would read my journal. It's about a week to go till Thanksgiving and there have been some big developments in my journey. I have an 18 year old daughter who came to visit a couple of weeks ago. We had not seen each other in months as she live 400 miles away and arrangements just didn't work. So anyway she comes up to visit for a weekend. Before she got out of my car at the airport she told me tearfully that I really need to have a long talk with my brother and my mother. I asked what about. She says "your appearance and what you are going through". I asked why she thought this and she tells me "you will not be able to hide it". "Oh ok." She told me I have changed a lot in the last year from my face to my figure, the masculinity is gone. "Uh huh." Allrighty then. So like the next day I contacted my brother, whom I see once a year. I reluctantly told him about my choices and changes . His answer was, "I've known for years". Ok knock me over with a feather. The bottom line was he's fine with it. His wife, the "Princess" is excited cuz now she has someone else to go shopping with. *grin* Since then communication with my brother has taken off with as many as five emails per day. He calls me Steph all the time now. :) Ok so once I got over the shock of that encounter I had to talk to my mother. My brother tells me he is going to visit her on Saturday. I tell him "that's nice". He asks if I want him to call right befor ehe arrives and I tell him "Sure". That way he could be there to support me when she got off the phone.Saturday comes and he calls to tell me he's about there. Rather than be nervous I changed the brakes on my car. (I had that planned for the day anyway.) When I finished, I cleaned up and called Mom. The call was awkward but ok. She asks me how my wife is with this and I tell her my wife loves it. Then she asks how long I have known about this. I told her since I was about 12. Basically she ran me through all the questions to make sure I haven't lost my mind and that I won't do anything stupid. I reassured her that she taught me well and I won't do anything stupid. After we hung up she turns to my brother and says, "I always wanted a daughter, just never thought it would happen this way". Then she ponders out loud, "So does this make Susan a Lesbian?" *giggle* My brother says "Mom, I'm not touching that one." Who knew my mom is such a nut? So next week I will pack two sets of clothes for the weekend. Woo hoo, it feels so good to be "OUT".
