URNotAlone

Why I Admire You ...

March 4th, 2008 7:37 pm MST

They call themselves admirers because they view t-girls with wonder and approval.  They derive pleasure from knowing us, talking to us and being in our company.  They are kind, respectful and giving .... In a world of “me first” and “I don’t care”, they stand out for these reasons … they are the true admirers in every since of the word - and I admire them for it. .... A lot of ink and thought has been used discussing so called “admirers”, with their duplicitous agendas and disgusting attitudes.  Conversely, not enough time has been spent on the guys and girls who gave birth to the term in the first place. ....  I’ve been vocal about the fake admirers, the “predators” for a little while now.  They’ve had their moment.  The less said about them right now, the better. ....  It’s the true admirers, the real people who care about our well-being, who try to do the right thing and just want to live a happy, normal life that includes t-girls in some fashion – that deserve more. ....  They deserve more than a short remark from a t-girl worn out by the fakes and phonies.  They deserve more than a slight lowering of our own defensive walls.....   In short, they deserve our open gratitude.  .... They like us on our bad days as well as our good.  They know we’re not always perfect.  They know that we can sometimes be moody, that we have our own insecurities and shortcomings.  And they love us for it. .... The more adventurous admirers know what it is like to be in our company, to be our friends and lovers, our confidantes and more.  They see how hard we work to be what we are – and they appreciate those efforts in ways they probably can’t articulate sometimes. .... I’ve received a lot of mail about my recent posts from admirers and many have done a nice job in conveying just what the words I have written have caused them to feel.  Many of the letters spoke to why the particular person writing to me was not a “predator”.  Some made strong cases, others didn’t. .... One great letter I received deserves mention.  It was from a person I had never spoken to before. ....  It reads: “Danielle, I have read your post about admirers several times because it struck me so hard when I first read it that I had to make sure I had consumed your every point.  What I liked most about it is that you refused to be the martyr.  There was no complaining, no feeling sorry for yourself.  It was sheer fact and sheer fact only.  I know how hard you gurls work and I know how much this means to all of you because I’ve dated TGs in the past.  You’re a special group, full of life and amazement.  It seems like each day brings a new experience for the TG.  It’s as if life begins anew every single day.  I love that about all of you.” .... Let me say this again – thanks for the great letter.  It truly made my day. .... And that’s the point isn’t it?  Aren’t we all on this earth to be happy?  To find beauty is something?  Don’t we try to make someone’s day every day?  Don’t we hope someone makes our day every day?  That’s true admiration. ....  Real admirers don’t fall over each other complimenting us or going out of their way to do anything extraordinary.  All they have to do is be themselves and all of their wonder shines through. .... These beautiful guys and girls have elected to think and feel for themselves.  They have decided to make the t-girl a higher priority than the way society views them for caring about us.  They don’t care what “other people” think because they realize that other people don’t notice or don’t care. ....  I love the dynamic here because it’s right out of a fairy tale.  It’s the same idea as, “only the true of heart will prevail.”  That’s the irony – only after an admirer gets over their insecurity about loving t-girls do they realize that there was much ado about nothing, that these concerns were all in their head and that society couldn’t care any less about what they like. ....  But the decision to embrace t-girls HAS TO COME FIRST, before learning this wonderful lesson.  That’s what makes a real admirer so special – their heart is true. .... Pretty easy, isn’t it? .... The real admirers understand this.  They see that there’s nothing wrong with liking what they like.  They approve of us and they approve of themselves.  They have the courage to stand up and publicly admire us, to view us with wonderment and pleasure.  It’s a joy to behold.  And I admire them for it. .... Thanks for reading. xoxo ....Danielle