URNotAlone

The Nines: A Salute To The T-Girl

March 19th, 2008 4:07 am MDT

Good things come in nines … nine lives … nine innings … and of course, Nine West.

 
And with that, I am happy to give you the nine reasons why t-girls are so special. 
 
There’s millions more, of course. But I like nines.  I admire that no player can wear Wayne Gretzky’s double nines and as a Red Sox fan I know the significance of number nine.  Nine is good.  I love being dressed to the nines.  Hell, I even like The Beatles’ Revolution Number 9.  Nine, as they say, is fine.

 
So fine in fact, that I present these nine reasons why being a t-girl is so fine … for one very important reason:  I am proud of what I am, of what WE are – and for that reason I am glad to present to you my thoughts on the wonder that is US, the t-girl.  

 
To wit, I give you the Top Nine Reasons T-Girls … Rock:

 
9. One dash of Glamour, one pinch of Penthouse … mix well.
Few can argue the mindset of the t-girl.  We’re girls to our very core.  That means we love the girliest of girly things:  make-up, jewelry, skirts, stockings, heels, flowers, pink, passion, pandas and poetry … and that’s just the tip of the iceberg – beginning with "P" or any other letter you choose.  We express our femininity in seemingly every way imaginable.  I love being a woman and I revel in it.  All of the t-girls I know do the exact same thing.  We’re fun, flirty and most of all feminine in everything we do, say or wear.  We rejoice in our womanhood.  And, it’s 50/50 there’s a garter belt underneath if you see us out.

 
8. Bake at 425 for 30 minutes … serve with a matching set of lingerie.
I can’t speak for every woman out there – genuine or T – but what I wear under my clothes is tiny, perfumed and matching.  As a t-girl, I’m pretty sure we have a law about that.  I think a failure to match your fun-to-wear underwear results in banishment from the gender.  So, if our clothes come off … we’re color coordinated.  Bank on it.

 
7. The "It" Factor.
Genetic girls are great.  I love them so much I became one.  However, even they will freely admit that every once in a while ’IT’ kicks in.  ’It’ is that mysterious chemical that is seemingly placed inside every woman that causes them to – occasionally - make a big deal out of nothing.  T-girls tend to be more laid back.  That leads to less ’back’ and more ’laid’ … and who doesn’t like more laid?

 
6. Pussycat Dolls.
Not all of us played with Barbies when we were little, which is why we have no problem being your Barbie now.  By all accounts, I am a confident, educated and articulate woman.  However, I’d still ask a date (if I had a date) if he would prefer I wear pants or a skirt to dinner.  I’m just wired that way.  I think we all are to some degree.  So, dress us up the way you like, boys.  We don’t mind in the slightest.  Bonus points if you elect for classy over trashy.  Extra bonus if you buy it.

 
5. We don’t rent, we own.
Pssst.  We have one.  And we know exactly what to do with it.  Think about it.

 
4. Must be the shoes.
As I type this, Im wearing a pair of yoga pants, a tank top and … 3" open toed sandals?  I have no good explanation for this.  It actually looks pretty cute, but by all accounts it’s a fashion felony.  What can I say?  T-girls love heels.  So guys, if you’ve ever wanted to have the porno, ’high heels stay on in bed’ experience, date a t-girl.  Trust me on this. 

 
3.  Bad grammar, aka, ’a lack of periods’.
T-girls do cycle.  We get bitchy at certain times because of the moon or tides or something.  But we’re like "Glinda the Good Witch" in comparison to some of our genetic sisters.  We may have our moments, but they don’t last anywhere near the 5-7 day monthly cycle.

 
2.  Fashionably late.
I love Dolce & Gabbana, Bandolino’s and Cache.  My wardrobe is extensive and it’s also expensive.  While I’m not some high society fashionista, I do damn well when it comes to what’s "in" as well as what’s "nice".  Many of my t-sisters are the exact same way.  We acknowledge and appreciate the beauty of Tahari eight days a week.  It’s just one of those things – we know what we’re talking about when it comes to clothes.  It’s why t-girls are often the best dressed chicks in the place. 

 
1.  The wonder of it all. 
A good guy friend of mine once said, "Danielle, you look at everything like it’s the first time you’ve seen it.  It’s actually pretty cool."  That’s because seeing things through our t-girl eyes is truly like seeing things for the first time.  We’ve worked so hard for … THIS … and we soak it all in.  And I don’t think it ever gets old.  This just isn’t my opinion either.  To me, the indelible image from First Event 2008 is the sight of a couple hundred t-girls … smiling.  Every last one of us.  The newbies … the vets … from the once-a-year girls to the full-timers, we were all smiling.  When I close my eyes, THAT’S WHAT I SEE.  And I ask you:  How can you beat that? 
 
Thanks for reading.  
xoxo
Danielle