URNotAlone

Oooh, muscles

September 1st, 2007 10:24 pm MDT

Saturday August 4, the fun wild and crazy event was going to watch Tony wrestle. That's right, he was wrestling at a live event at a sports bar. The bar was Good Times Emporium, in Somerville, which is kind of a combination giant sports bar, arcade, and dance club. They had converted the dance floor to a wrestling ring for this, and the wrestling is the fun sort of wrestling, a la WWF (or All Star Wrestling, if anyone remembers that.... Ok, so I googled it. I guess it's WWE these days?) Anyway, Ashley had posted that she was going with Jacinda but that because of the environment, this would be a "male-mode event"--her words. Well, Ashley, you just excluded full time girls like me. Independent Sonia doesn't mind a bit though. Tony had personally invited me, so I was going. I didn't tell Ashley or anyone else that I was going, I just went. I had told Tony back when he invited me that I would go, but hadn't talked to him since, and so he was actually surprised when I showed up. Of his entourage, One of his lady friends had arrived before me and was inside taking pictures. He was expecting four others, not counting me! I talked to Tony while we waited for others to arrive and when two lady friends he was expecting arrived, we went in and found four chairs together. Ashley and Jacinda arrived a little later, as Rob and Johnny of course, and poor things, by then there were no more seats around us. They went and found seats on the other side of the ring, so it ended up that there was a boy's side and a girl's side. I loved being one of the girls. And I loved the wrestling! This was my first time ever to see live wrestling and so it was exciting and fun. Not knowing the wrestlers, I would pick who I wanted to win based on the silliest little things, like the color of their shorts or something, and then cheer for them and boo for the opponent. The girls around me got a kick out of how I was getting into it. "Are you sure this is your first time?" they teased.

Detail gets spotty here. This is what happens when I just make a few quick notes and then let too much time pass before writing.

Sunday was shopping with Rachel, then a sleepover with Daphne.

Monday was dinner with Sheila, then drinking at Charlie's Kitchen. The guy on the stool next to me was highly entertaining. We sat and drank for five hours and I'm pretty sure that I passed for him the whole time. The more we drank, the more beautiful I became and I'm sure it was comical by the end of the night. He loved my hair, and wanted to know if the streaks were natural. "Honey, streaks like this are never natural" This fascinated and intrigued him. "Oh, which is your natural color?" he wanted to know. "The darkest color you see there" I answered honestly. Oh, my. lol.

Tuesday was one more coming out step, and one I didn't handle so well, actually. At work we had a teleconference with people, from around the world really. And I didn't think about the fact that these people hadn't seen me as Sonia yet. I should have made a point to be there at the start of the teleconference to be present for introductions and so have an appropriate time to introduce myself as Sonia to these people who have known me for years as a guy. Instead, I wandered in late and it wasn't until the end of the meeting when the guy running the meeting (from Hawaii) asked my supervisor, "who is that sitting next to you?"

After work, my bar was Cantab, on the recommendation of the guy I flirted with last night in Charlie's. He said he was more of a regular at Cantab so I thought it would be fun to just show up there and see if I ran into him. Food, drink, and music were good, but no Jeffery.

Wednesday I went to Sisters of Worcester. Ashley had said earlier that she might go, so I thought it would be fun if we got a whole group of Sisters of Boston to go to Worcester. I made a silly post recruiting people for an "invasion" but in the end, Ashley couldn't go and I ended up not getting much support. I did get Stacy and Jessica to come with me, so I had a small invasion force, but it wasn't what I'd hoped. Of course it was lots of fun anyway. There was a good crowd there and in just a few months time, Sisters of Worcester has matured to become very much like Sisters of Boston.

Thursday I was back drinking at Charlie's, this time with a little sadness as I was planning to curtail my drinking after this. I was seeing the doctor the next day for a routine physical and I was planning on pledging to stop drinking.

Friday morning was the doctor's visit. I was seeing the now famous Deborah Breshel for the first time. Deb had actually come to Sisters of Boston a few months back and I had met her then, learned that she was in Somerville, right by my house, and accepting new patients. Since then I had run into her at MTPC meetings, and also a couple of times just around Davis Square, so she knew me--she just didn't know that she had an appointment with me this morning. Health insurance is of course still in my male name, so that's what I had used to make my appointment. The morning of the appointment, I filled out the new patient forms, hoping that there would be a place for a "preferred name" in addition to a billing, insurance, or legal name. But no, the surprise had to wait until Deb walked into the exam room and found me instead a male new patient. After the fun little surprise we had a good visit. At the end of the visit she asked if knew there would be a story about her this weekend in the Boston Globe. I didn't. Wow, what a surprise for me! I couldn't believe my fortunate timing that I got my initial visit in just before she was to become famous.

Friday evening was Sisters and after the usual nice time at the hotel, things got wild crazy fun. Ashley asked people where they wanted to go after the hotel, and then declared that we were going to...someplace, I don't remember where, but it was a straight club. Steffanie threw a little tantrum at this. She wasn't comfortable at any straight club and said that she was going home instead. Ashley reconsidered and the next choice was Pure, a lesbian club. This turned out to be a perfect choice that made everyone happy. The club was lots of fun, there was dancing, girls, and queerness. One fun surprise was seeing some of the MFP girls there that I had met at the picnic. Coincidentally, I had worn my big floral print dress this night. It was popular at Sisters because apparently not many of them had seen that dress, but then it was wildly popular at Pure. Some girls had to compliment me on it, saying it was "brilliant" asking where I got it. Here, I messed up, I'm afraid. It actually came from the Goodwill Store, but I was too embarrassed to admit it. After repeatedly refusing to say where I got it, I finally said it was vintage, and they were happy with that. My gosh, I know there's no shame in shopping at the Goodwill Store. I just, don't know what came over me. I wish now that I had not only freely told them where it came from, but that I asked them exactly what they meant by "brilliant." Maybe they liked it just because it was so feminine? Because it had so much motion on the dance floor? Because it covered my silicone assets so well? I dunno. After the dance club closed, I did something a little different and went with the girls to Bickfords. I hadn't done this since my first time out last August. I got to see how Ashley's group was a regular there, and also got to see a group of guys get thrown out of the restaurant for making rude remarks about us. The waitress was wonderfully protective of us! Dina had promised to give me a ride home after Bickfords, but it was so late and she was getting so tired that she invited me to just come to her place. I went, and wow was it nice. Dina's beautiful, and has wonderful style and makeup skills, and one of my favorite parts of her is her soft girl skin. She uses a rotary epilator and I think maybe it does the trick.

The next day, I processed asteroid data from Dina's bedroom computer and we took our time getting cleaned up and ready to go back out in the evening. We met Danielle and went to Lauren for dinner. It was really nice to spend time with just the two of them, trade stories, and get to know each other better. They were wanting to come up with some activity that we do next, they suggested Jacque's, and I couldn't resist. It was Saturday night and Jacque's would be fun. It turned out not be fun getting through the door. When we arrived we were told that the place was at capacity and we couldn't go in. Dina snuck in through the smoking door after a while, but when Danielle and I tried, we got caught and sent back outside. We were standing around talking when Jon came out. He discovered that we weren't allowed in an threw a nice little fit for the bouncer, deploring that the girls that the place exists for are kept out while the bachelorette parties fill the place. Who knows if the protest did the trick or not, but after a few minutes, we were allowed in. Inside it was fun to hang out, it was fun to see Jon and Vicky again, since I've met them a couple of times but still hardly know them. And it was fun to see the other Sonia again. I heard someone say "Sonia" behind my back, and my first thought was, "that's right! I remember meeting another Sonia here on a Saturday night." Funniest line of the night was from Vivian (? I think that was her name) who was listening as Jon and Vicky were explaining that it was her who introduced them eighteen years ago. There was a little pause and Vivian shyly said "I was ten years old"--A funny way of saying either "I'm embarrassed at the lower bound that was just placed on my true age" or "I'm 28 now" which is of course a funny reference to the way that through makeup, clothes, and starry eyes, we all typically look much younger than we really are. Just before midnight I dashed out the door to catch the subway before it turned into a pumpkin. Home after a long Friday, I slept hard. In fact, all of Sunday went to sleep and rest, with the cell phone turned off.

Monday was the MTPC general meeting. After coming for several months now, some of this is finally starting to make sense to me. I sat and took notes this time, making a list of stuff I wanted to work on. After the meeting I met Deedee in Kendal Square for a little dinner. We talked about my legal situation. It's not pretty.

Tuesday, Daphne wanted to go to Natick. I jumped at the occasion. I hadn't been to Natick in a while and going with Daphne would be fun. I went by train and by foot as usual. Daphne showed up later, and it was so cool when she did. She seems to be well known and well loved everywhere we go. The Natick regulars all knew her and were happy to see her. It made me feel so good to be there with her.

Wednesday evening, Stacy invited me over. Jessica was there as well and we all had salad and chips and conversation.

Thursday evening, author Julia Serano was reading from her new book "Whipping Girl" at Simmons College. This was a great stroke of luck because we had just picked this book for our October book in the online trans reading group. I met Stacy and Jessica there, also there found several other people I knew, and it was really good. Serano was engaging and interesting. I loved her perspectives--up until the very last question from the audience. She was saying something about "male privilege" but then as an example mentioned something about appearance that I suddenly saw as "masculinity privilege" as very distinct from "male privilege." Bleh...I wrote a little rant here, but I think I'll save it until after I've read her book...

Friday I wasn't feeing like rushing after work. I took my time at home, and of course didn't have time to get to the hotel for Sisters. Wanting to get out though, I went straight to the club they were going to after the hotel. This was Pure again, the same as last week. I got there at 10:30 and I think I was the first customer through the door. I was worried at first that maybe there was only a crowd last week because it was a special event and that this week the place would be dead. Worries were unfounded though, and by midnight the place was packed. Shortly after that my Sisters arrived and we had yet another fun evening of dancing.

Saturday afternoon I had birthday party to go to! Clara's friend Hillary (who's name I had trouble remembering before) was celebrating her birthday and the party was also an end of the summer back to school party for Clara, Hillary, and Ivy, who were all returning to Oberlin. I didn't think it was fair that only Hillary had got her birthday celebrated so I bought all three of them birthday cards. I gave Ivy her card first, setting up the surprise. "Happy birthday, Ivy!" "Oh, but it's not my birthday" she said with eyes wide at the horror of my apparent mistake. "I know, but I didn't know when your birthday was and since you're leaving to go back to school, this is my only chance to give you a birthday card." Ivy breathed a sigh of relief. "No one knows when my birthday is" she said a little bit shyly. This made me a little bit extra happy to think that I celebrated her birthday when maybe it usually passes unnoticed. I think I caught her smiling too. Then Clara happily accepted her card, and finally Hillary, the birthday girl proper.

After the birthday party, there was no rest for me. I was off to catch the train and then the bus to Stephanie's, and then to ride with her over to RCC for a non- roll call Saturday evening. This means there weren't many people there, but there was a small contingent of "Triangles girls" visiting. There were, I think, ten of us all together. Katie, Katie, Brit, and Nicole, Annette, Me, Stephanie, Daphne, Dahlia, Oh, and that other girl I can't remember her name! Grr.

Home with Daphne at the end of the night, sleep, and a lazy day the next day. I found coffee and an english muffin for breakfast. A little later Daphne cooked us a very nice breakfast of eggs and stuff. Then in the afternoon we went to visit Daphne's good friend Lisa, who lives in a very cozy house on a pond in Carver, Mass. For me, it was a chance to actually swim in my swimsuit, as opposed to just lounging around a pool deck. While Daphne and Lisa sat on the beach and talked, I swam out in the middle of the pond. Totally enjoying myself, I found myself getting out of breath before long. No problem, I'll stop and tread water for a minute and catch my breath. I stopped, but wasn't catching my breath. Crap. I'm an idiot. I floated on my back. That worked and after a few minutes I could swim again and slowly make my way back in. "You OK?" they called to me. "I'm fine." "We heard you wheezing out there." Yes, yes, I know, I'm an idiot.

Daphne and Lisa wanted to see how I would look in some different hair. Lisa has like a million wigs and I was trying on a few of them. There was one that everyone liked. "Why don't you just wear that one to dinner?" Lisa asked. Dinner was at Crane Brook, a wonderfully peaceful restaurant and piano bar that is one of Lisa's favorites. Lisa plays piano herself, and so as is common, when the pianist took a break to have dinner, he invited Lisa to play. Wow, wow, wow, it was like magic. Just a perfect evening. To end the evening, we had just barely enough time to drop Lisa off at her house before dropping me at the train station to come home. I tried to give the wig back to Lisa, but she refused. "No, keep it." It's turned out to be the new Sonia. I've worn it ever since.

Monday, notes say that I saw Stacy, went to the grocery store, came home and watched The Crying Game on TV.

Tuesday was low key as well. I stayed home, listened to deb's interview on radio, and watched the second half of "A Girl Like Me."

Wednesday was way cool. A girl named Heather had posted to Sisters of Boston saying that she was in town on business and was looking for some fun evening activities. Surprise, surprise, I turned out to be the one to help her. After trading a couple of emails, I picked a club called Les Zygomates for our destination. It turned out perfect for both of us. I'd walked by this place on South Street lots of times and knew from the crowds that it was popular, but just hadn't had the excuse to go there yet. Heather said she'd like live jazz, and by googling around a bit, this looked like a good pick. No expensive tickets or cover charge, but still some of Boston's top talent. The treated us perfectly there. I told the hostess that it was our first time there and that we were there for the music, and she seated us against the front window and right in front of stage. It was beautiful. Heather and I shared a bottle of Vidal Blanc, listened to great music, and talked the night away.

Thursday I was home eating dinner when Lisa (from work) called. She and her daughter were wandering around Davis Square and wondered if I could come and meet them. Of course! I shovelled the rest of my dinner and dashed out the door. We hade a nice little visit in the plaza, but Lisa wasn't feeling well and I couldn't talk her into staying for the movie. See, on Thursdays they've been showing a free movie in the little park behind the train station. I was trying to talk her into sitting on a blanket and watching the movie with me, but no, they left. I had not quite enough time then to run home and get a blanket for myself, stop in Store 24 and get a soda, before Ferris Beuhler's Day Off started. Fun movie, you know, and I had a new thought while watching it. I thought, "I am Ferris Beuhler." In the movie he has an incredible string of experiences, just by taking the initiative to get off his ass and go do stuff. That's been me, Sonia, for like the last year.

After the movie, I wanted to check in with Heather and see how her evening had gone. Not well, was the answer. Her plans had all fallen through, she'd been alone in the hotel room, and was just headed out the door to go to a random bar. I couldn't resist joining her. I met her at the Tam, her choice. It turns out that she had tried the Tam just at random the night before after saying goodbye to me. Adventurous little thing, isn't she? The Tam, for being in the middle of the theater district and surely a popular way station for theater goers, is pretty much a local dive bar, and not exactly trans-friendly. Heather had stories of how she had been carded, told that she must use the men's room, and had her male name read out loud in a loud voice. Pretty harassing, I'd say. When I found her already at the bar with a rum and coke, there was an empty stool next to her, but an unattended half-full glass of beer there. Pretty sure that someone would be back for the beer, I stood rather than sit. The bartender saw me and told me that the person there was outside smoking and would be back. Hmm, not harassing, but not exactly friendly either. Just kind of neutral. I ordered a diet coke, still not winning any points with him, but tipped him a dollar and he finally relaxed and smiled and said thank you. The guy came back from smoking and offered his seat, happy to go wander elsewhere in the bar. Later, a girl came and chatted with us, talked purses and stuff. So, overall, I was happy with the experience. Some people might be upset at the treatment we got, but really, we went, asserted our right to be there, diffused any confrontational scene, bought drinks, had friendly interactions with the other patrons, and left. I thought it would be good to leave while we were ahead and go to a different bar. I took Heather down to Flash's next. The bartender there (Patty, is that her name?) remembered me and was happy to see me. Heather got a wonderful chocolate cocktail, I had a raspberry lemonade and a chicken salad wrap, and we closed the bar. I was showing Heather how gay-friendly Flash's is, but she wasn't impressed. She likes to be out and blending with mainstream society and resists "hiding" in gay clubs. I walked her back to her hotel, we started to say goodbye, and then...we didn't. Omg, we're both bad. And omg, we're both good.

Sisters on Friday was a good one. I left home at 7:30, caught the 90 bus, the orange line, the 137 bus, in quick succession and was making record time. Not wanting to walk the last leg, I started calling people at random to see who could pick me up. Dina. She was just leaving her house to pick up Danielle. Negotiated in a flurry of phone conversations, Wendy ended up picking up Danielle, Dina scooped up me, and we all arrived at the hotel by 9:00. The crowd turned out to be the biggest one since our opening night in January. One special attraction was that Wendy had invited people to come and share her birthday cake. The cake was fun, and furthering the reverse giving, Wendy also brought little presents for everybody. I got a little bottle of red nail polish. Girls kind of went in different directions at the end of the night and six of us stayed to close down the hotel bar. 11:30 they were kind of shooing us out, and Daphne and I drove home.